9
THE RANGERS GOT BACK TO BAGRAM IN THE DARK. As they walked a half mile to their tented compound to rest and decompress, looking around at familiar sights, the thought passed through Polson's mind, Nobody here has a fucking clue what just happened and what we went through. He felt different, changed. He and his squad smoked cigarettes outside the tent and talked into the night. Their battalion commander came in, looked at them, did not say a word, and then left. Miceli lay down on his bunk, staring at the canvas ceiling. The emotion of the day started to sink in. He had lost three good friends whose cots were empty next to him.
DePouli did not know what anything meant. He thought, Everybody did their job. And as far as he was concerned, that defined them. The thought dawned on him that the fight on Takur Ghar would stay with the Rangers for years, and even become part of their legend. At the cost of friends' lives, they had entered a new era. He was exhausted. He could think about it no longer. He wanted to sleep. He took off his boots and went for a hot shower.
Thirty minutes after getting back, Gabe Brown was dialing the United States. He thought, I was lucky. You stick a bunch of guys in a metal tube and shoot at it for twenty seconds and see who comes out. I would not mess with fate. I would not change a thing. I believe in fate, but I'm not a lucky-charm guy. The phone rang. His wife, Gloria, answered. Trying to convey a lightness he did not feel, Brown told her, “Hey, we had some extraordinary circumstances here. I did good.”
When he hung up, he went over to his cot and threw down his gear. He said to nobody in particular, “I wouldn't wish that on anybody.” It sucked. People had died. He thought, I don't know why I'm here. But if there was ever a moment when I did everything right, that was it. I did good. I did all right.
Captain Self dealt with the removal of the bodies from the helo. Then he hobbled back to the QRF's compound. The shrapnel wound had swollen his right thigh and stiffened his leg. He decided not to mention the wound for fear that he would be flown out of the country against his will and would be separated from his men. He limped through the gate. As he approached his tent, a Ranger he had never seen before walked up to him. He was a new arrival. He'd noticed Self's worn, haggard look, and assuming that he knew his way around, he asked, “Hey, sir, where's the pisser?”
Self thought, Welcome home.
Dr. Brian Burlingame, of the 274th Forward Surgical Team, waited for word of his friend Cunningham. He already knew about his wounds from listening to the radio net. He had worried about him through the day. The doctors and nurses in the 274th waited and prayed. When the extraction helos arrived, Burlingame ran from the 274th's med tent. A medic had died, but he did not have a name. He did not know which one. A Ranger who looked sort of like Cunningham came off the helo, and Burlingame thought, Thank God it was just a rumor. He's OK. He immediately realized his mistake.
He worked until every casualty was cared for. When he did not see Cunningham, he began to worry again. He was waiting and looking, waiting for Rangers to come in, refusing to believe the rumors. After he finished his duties in the OR, someone, and he could not remember his name, told him that Cunningham had died. He was thinking, He was like the little brother you have when you go to the ball game or to the park that tags along. Within minutes everyone in the 274th knew Cunningham was gone.
In Burlingame's official capacity, he pronounced the KIAs officially dead. Later that night, he went down the line of bodies lying on the ground in zipped rubber bags. With a clipboard in his hand, he logged their names, confirmed identities, pronounced them dead, and then filled out their paperwork for Mortuary Affairs.
He processed one body at a time, seven in total. He had a glimmer of hope that the rumors were wrong. He kneeled by each body and looked at the faces. He came to the last bag, thinking, Hey, Jason's not here! They made a mistake. He's not dead.
He unzipped the bag. He looked down and he broke into tears.