WHAT’S PAST IS PROLOGUE, Tanner thought again as he watched Mia laugh at something on-screen. A tattoo she’d gotten right before they’d graduated…right around the time he’d broken up with her. A coincidence?
Possibly, but he didn’t think so.
Despite the fact that she’d agreed with him when he’d told her things were moving too fast, he’d known that he’d hurt her, had even hated himself for it. But he hadn’t understood the depth of the wound he’d inflicted until just a few moments ago.
Damn.
He was truly toxic, Tanner thought, self-disgust saturating every pore. And that was all the more reason he needed to keep his hands off her. The image of her bent over, hair hanging over one shoulder, painting her toes, her pink tongue sticking out as she concentrated on the process suddenly assailed him and he shifted because he’d gone so painfully hard.
Sexy didn’t begin to cover it. She was unintentionally provocative, effortlessly beautiful and so far removed from her own appeal it made her one of the most compellingly attractive women he’d ever been around. Factor in that keen mind, cutting wit and she became lethally fascinating.
It was piss-poor timing to be fascinated, Tanner thought.
Again.
And in light of that tattoo, he found himself more re solved than ever to be fair to her…and that meant keeping his hands to himself, no matter how damned hard—he glanced at his crotch and chuckled darkly—that became.
Determined to do just that, Tanner sent the backpack which housed Moe a disgruntled glance, then crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. He drifted in and out of sleep, alternating waking to the sound of her soft laughter and dreaming strange dreams where they were back on campus, holding hands in front of Denny Chimes. Only in his dream, he was the one with the Shakespearean tattoo. It was inked down the inside of his right arm and, stranger still, she was wearing his Ranger beret. No, Tanner thought. No, she couldn’t go. He wouldn’t let her. He couldn’t let her see the things he’d seen. The horror, the helplessness and the death.
A poor village, the tiny school, a series of blasts, then a scream.
His own, he realized as cool fingers slid over his brow. “Tanner, wake up,” she said, her soothing voice rife with sympathy. “You’re here. You’re fine.”
No, he wasn’t. He was beginning to doubt he’d ever be fine again. The nightmares were merely punishment, a subconscious reprimand, for his part in what had happened outside Mosul. Logic told him that they couldn’t have known that the insurgents would remote-detonate when his team arrived. But had they never arrived, it would have never happened. That was the part he couldn’t get past, that no amount of logic could explain away. He’d followed orders, done what he’d been trained to do.
But nothing would ever make it right.
Continuing to shush him, Mia’s small fingers moved over his brow, then traveled down the side of his cheek, slowly, almost reverently. He heard her release a deep, shaky sigh. Her touch held something he hadn’t felt in too long to remember—since her, he imagined—and his chest inexplicably tightened. Affection.
This girl had loved him, genuinely, truly, with every fiber of her being. Not because he’d been on the football team, not because he’d been a soldier. With no identifiers, with no qualifications, she’d just loved him…and he’d traded her heart for a beret.
He made a disgusted noise low in his throat and she mistook it for his continuing nightmare. She murmured another soothing noise, then leaned closer to him and kissed the corner of his eye.
And that was his undoing.
He looked up into her face, only inches from his own, then without saying a word, reached up and wound a long strand of hair around his finger. Her breathing caught and her liquid brown gaze searched his. The glow from the television cast bluish shadows on the walls and gilded the side of her face in light. She smelled like peaches, he realized, finally isolating the fruity scent. Ripe, sweet, smooth and slightly musky. It suited her.
With his gaze never leaving hers, he gave a gentle tug, bringing her closer, then bent forward and brushed his lips over hers. Her lush breast lay against his chest, her hand still on his face. He felt her shiver, soften, then he kissed her again and ate her low moan of capitulation.
Nothing had ever tasted more satisfying.
As though a switch had been flipped, she made a low, hungry growl in her throat, then crawled up and straddled him. Her hands framed his face and she kissed him deeply, while her sex rested perfectly over his. He nudged himself against her, smiled when he heard her gasp, and shaped his hands on the perfect globes of her rounded ass. Her waist was smaller than he’d realized, Tanner thought, as he mapped her body. He slid his fingers beneath the hem of her T-shirt and shuddered when he encountered bare skin.
She fed at his mouth, sucked at his tongue and pushed her hands into his hair. She shifted above him, drew back enough to let him bring her shirt over her head.
Bare breasts, dusky pearled nipples, creamy skin, delicate rib cage, womanly belly, long dark hair spilling over her pale shoulders to the small of her back.
Perfect. Utterly perfect.
He leaned forward and drew one rosy bud into his mouth, shaped his hand around the other, testing the weight of it against his palm. She squirmed above him, settling more firmly against his dick and he lifted his hips in response, answering her silent plea.
He was breathing her in, absorbing her, tasting her and the rest of the world simply faded away. The room shrunk to the point that there was only him and her and the bed, and the night stretched out before them without end. She was a heavenly apparition after his own personal hell on earth and he just wanted her. Needed her. Had to have her.
She licked a trail down the side of his neck and slid her hands over his shoulders, leaving fire in their wake. Her palms were greedy, seemingly desperate for the feel of him. He suckled her harder and smiled when he heard her breathing catch. She worked herself against him, a firm steady slide along the length of him and it occurred to Tanner that this would feel a whole lot better to both of them if they were naked.
He reached blindly for the laptop case on the nightstand and withdrew the box of condoms—he made a mental note to thank Jamie Flanagan the next time he saw him—and laid several packages within easy reach.
In the process of tracing each of his ribs with her tongue, Mia looked over, spied the protection and made a humming noise. “I don’t know whether to be annoyed or thankful,” she murmured.
Tanner slid his hands beneath her pajama bottoms and pushed the distracting garment out of his way, filling his hands with her rear in the process and giving a squeeze.
Mia shuddered. “Thankful now,” she said. “Annoyed later.”
She rose long enough to kick the shorts off and Tanner took the opportunity to get out of his own boxers, as well.
Mia sat back on her haunches and her admiring gaze slid over the length of him. Her lids drooped with sleepy sensuality and he watched her pulse flutter wildly at the base of her throat. She licked her lips. “Where to start?”
He handed her a condom. “Can I make a suggestion?”
TANNER HAD ALWAYS BEEN a long, tall drink of water. At six and half feet, he towered over her and, while his size undoubtedly intimidated lesser men, she’d always found it unbelievably thrilling.
All that man, all that muscle…hers.
The idea that she could make him—all of him, every impossibly masculine part—want her had never been anything less than intoxicating. Looking at him now made her muscles melt, her spine go limp, her mouth water.
She ignored the condom in his outstretched hand—she knew exactly what he wanted to suggest, but they’d get to that soon enough—and took him in hand instead. She heard his breath hiss between his clenched teeth as he inhaled sharply.
She worked the slippery skin against her palm, marveling at the satiny feel over the hard shaft. Ridges and vein, the smooth rounded head… Tanner had been built on a monumental scale and this particular part of him was perfectly proportioned to the rest. Just feeling him in her hand made her belly clench, made her sex weep. A low throb built in her clit and tingled determinedly, a steady reminder of what she truly wanted.
All of him.
Inside of her.
It had been years since she’d had a proper orgasm, one that hadn’t been self-manufactured, and the idea that the status quo was about to change left her feeling almost giddy with lust, light-headed with need. And the fact that it was Tanner, her original bell ringer, seemed strangely appropriate.
But even if it wasn’t, she’d convince herself that it was because she just…wanted. Him.
Though she’d wanted to play, to explore, to lick him from one end to the other, to feel every bit of muscle beneath her hands, feel his hair abrading her palms, to taste the tanned parts and the parts that weren’t, Mia suddenly couldn’t wait to put him between her legs, to feel the hardest part of him deep in the softest part of her. She’d explore later, but right now…
She tore into the condom, then swiftly rolled it into place.
…right now, she just wanted him inside of her.
Mia bent forward and settled herself against him, coating him in her own wetness. A shiver rolled down her spine and she felt her neck prickle as exquisite sensation bolted through her. Tanner’s gaze latched on to hers, his big hands anchored on her hips. She slid forward, then back, then tilted just so until she felt him nudge her outer channel.
She trembled, literally quaked from the inside out.
With a soft sigh of homecoming, she slowly impaled herself upon him. Tanner grimaced, as though the pleasure was almost unbearable and the sight of him—of his feral joy—tripped something deep inside of her. She lifted her hips, then settled onto him once more, feeling herself stretch to accommodate the size of him. He filled her so completely, so perfectly, she didn’t know where she ended and he began and ultimately didn’t care.
His big hands slid up over her hips, along her rib cage and then found her breasts. He bent forward and took the other nipple into his mouth, suckling as he thrust up and something about the combination released something wild inside of her. She felt the first flash of climax kindle in her womb and she tightened around him, clamping her feminine muscles.
Sensing her wordless cue, Tanner flattened the crown of her breast in his mouth, tickled the underside with his talented tongue, then took a deep pull and flipped her over onto her back. He left off her breast and ate her surprised gasp as he plunged into her.
Hot, hard male. Broad shoulders, sleek skin…
She bit into his shoulder and wrapped her legs around his waist, meeting him thrust for thrust as he plunged deeply and methodically into her body. His masculine hair abraded her nipples and he found her mouth, kissing her with the same rhythm, coupling every thrust below with a sweep of wonderful tongue. He was everywhere. On top of her, inside of her body, inside of her mouth, the smell of him in her nostrils, the feel of him beneath her hands. She was drugged, already an addict, hooked on him.
He pounded harder, then faster and faster still and she arched against him, absorbing every powerful plunge into her body. He’d already lit a fire within her and with every stroke, like a puff of air against a new flame, he fanned the blaze, swiftly creating an inferno that she knew was going to char her from the inside out.
He kissed her again, pushed harder, then reached down and lifted her hips, putting her an angle that instantly made everything…more.
More wonderful, more intense, more amazing.
That flash of climax she’d felt earlier suddenly peaked and she came hard. Mia inhaled deeply, felt every muscle in her body go rigid. Her mouth opened in a soundless scream of pleasure, then a moan ripped from her throat, a noise she would have never imagined she was capable of.
She heard Tanner chuckle, a pleased, masculine sound, then he pumped more frantically into her, milking her release for every bit of sensation. She clamped around him repeatedly, reached around and grabbed his ass, pushing him deeper and suddenly he tensed, angled higher and planted himself as far into her as he possibly could. A bellow of pure satisfaction rumbled from his chest and she felt her own feminine smile of satisfaction slide over her lips.
When the last tremor shook his body, he rolled off her, taking her with him. Then he discarded the condom and settled her firmly into the crook of his arm.
She trailed her fingers over his chest, more satisfied than she could ever recall being. And that included the last time they’d done this. For reasons she couldn’t explain, it was better this time around. Possibly because now she knew how rare good sex truly was.
“That feels nice,” he murmured.
She smiled. “I hope the rest of it wasn’t a waste of time then.”
He chuckled softly and pressed a kiss against her head. “Not totally.”
She pinched him playfully. “Idiot.”
He laughed and gave her a squeeze, then relaxed more fully against her. “We’ve wasted a lot of time, but the last little bit we got completely right.”
She nuzzled his neck with her nose and silently agreed, satisfaction saturating every pore. Rather than spoil the moment with all the reasons she shouldn’t have allowed this to happen, Mia simply cuddled closer to him and let the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep. Regret and heartbreak were certainly on the horizon, but until it actually arrived, she was going to borrow a page from Scarlett O’Hara’s book and think about it tomorrow.
Tanner kissed her head again. “Mia?”
“Hmm.”
“Thanks.”
She knew he wasn’t talking about the sex. “You’re welcome.”