I couldn’t concentrate on Elsie’s book at Tall Trees, because I didn’t get a minute to myself. I sat in the staffroom but there were people coming and going the whole time and I kept losing my place.
One of the other carers, an annoying woman called Rowena who was one of those people who was always right when everyone else was wrong, sat next to me and told me a long, convoluted story about how she’d got a parking ticket and she was fuming. Then, when she finally got up and left, another carer – Vir – sat down next to me to eat his lunch. I was so nervous about getting crumbs, or Coke, or both on the precious pages that I shut the book with a snap.
‘Can you tell Blessing I’ll be back before my shift?’ I said to Vir, who was watching Squid Game on his phone and wasn’t, as far as I could tell, paying any attention to me whatsoever. ‘Thanks.’
And then, feeling slightly reckless and indulgent, I got an Uber to The Vine.
It was, thankfully, quiet there. Tara was behind the bar, and she raised an eyebrow as I arrived.
‘You’ve brought the book to a bar?’
‘I’m not going to dunk it in the drip tray,’ I said. ‘I thought I could sit in a corner and read it. It’s crazy at Tall Trees and I don’t want to go home by myself.’
‘Take your pick of corners,’ said Tara with a grin. ‘I’ll bring you over a coffee.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘What if I spill?’
‘Glass of water?’
‘And a portion of chips?’ I said hopefully.
Tara laughed and I took the book over to a corner booth. Wriggling on the bench seat to find a comfy position, I opened the first page and, enjoying the peace and quiet, began to read.
It was astonishing. I’d read some of the notes and letters before, of course, on the online version and I was glad because it meant I was prepared for the waves of emotions that the writing gave me. Some of them were so very sad, others were funny. All of them were touching.
About halfway through, I found a beautiful little pencil sketch of a nurse and gasped in delight to see it was Elsie herself. She had been drawn side-on, her headdress billowing behind her like a veil. She was so young, I thought. So young and very pretty.
‘Is that her?’ Tara leaned over my shoulder as she put a bowl of chips down in front of me. ‘She was pretty.’
‘She was.’
‘How are you getting on with tracking her down?’
‘Haven’t found her yet. But never say never.’
‘And how are the plans for the mural coming on?’
I made a face. ‘I’m hoping reading these letters will give me some inspiration.’ I screwed my nose up. ‘And I need to get my own book for the Tall Trees residents to write their messages in. There’s a lot to do.’
Tara smoothed my hair in a motherly fashion. ‘Just don’t take on too much, will you? With this place and Tall Trees and your nan, and now this project, you’ll be run ragged.’
‘Can you cut my shifts for a few weeks?’ I said. ‘Not yet, but when the grant money comes through? And not completely, because I still want the job.’
‘As it’s you,’ Tara said with a grin, ‘I’ll get one of the students to cover your hours. They’ll be glad of the work over the summer.’
She bustled off back to the kitchen and I turned to the book again, wondering if there was anything inside that might give me a clue about what had happened to Elsie. Finn said himself that he hadn’t finished going through the whole book yet, not properly, so it was possible he’d missed something.
I closed the book wondering if I should read from the back instead of the front. With my thumb, I flicked through the pages, hearing the satisfying buzz of the soft paper as it fluttered. Until it stopped on some pages that were stuck together.
‘Oops,’ I muttered, opening the book on the right bit. There were two pages stuck together, quite near the front. Had something been spilled on these pages to make them sticky? I wondered. Very carefully, hoping they didn’t tear, I began to peel them apart. They actually separated quite easily because they were only stuck around the edges – making me think it had been deliberate.
‘What have you been hiding, Elsie?’ I said, pulling the last bit apart and opening out the pages. I was looking at a spread of two pages, which were completely covered in tiny writing. Two different people’s handwriting, I saw. And one of the hands was familiar. I leafed back through the book until I found the note Elsie had left about the bomb in Stepney and nodded in satisfaction. It was definitely Elsie’s handwriting, though she’d not initialled her notes as she’d done elsewhere. I rubbed my eyes, wondering where to start with the tiny writing and then gasped aloud as I saw the words: “You are my sunshine. My heart aches for you and my arms feel empty when you’re not in them.”
‘Elsie, you saucy minx,’ I said in delight. They were love notes.
‘Look at this,’ I called over to Tara, who was bottling up. ‘I’ve found something exciting.’
‘What is it?’
She slid into the booth opposite me and peered at the book. ‘God, there’s no chance of me being able to read that. I’m at the stage when I have to take a photo of labels so I can enlarge them.’
‘It’s love letters,’ I said. ‘And please go to the optician.’
She ignored me. ‘Who from?’
‘From Elsie,’ I said, thrilled. ‘This is her writing, see?’ I pointed to a paragraph where Elsie had written: “This is all very nice but how do I know who you are if you don’t tell me?”
‘That doesn’t sound very romantic,’ said Tara squinting at the page. ‘She sounds wary.’
I scanned the writing. ‘No, it gets better,’ I said, jumping to the second page. ‘Look, they’ve obviously met up by this point, because he’s written that he doesn’t want to cause her any trouble so he’ll hide his feelings when he sees her, even though …’ I turned the page back towards me so I could see it better. ‘Ooh, even though the memory of their kiss keeps him warm at night.’
‘Elsie!’ Tara exclaimed.
‘This is adorable,’ I said, reading more declarations of love from Elsie and her mystery man. If it was a man, of course. ‘Maybe it’s a woman, she’s writing to?’ I suggested. ‘Maybe that’s why it was a secret?’
‘Maybe,’ said Tara. ‘Looks like a man’s writing though.’
‘Really? How can you tell?’
She shrugged. ‘I just can.’
‘Do you mind if I grab some paper from the office?’ I said. ‘I might read this properly and copy all the notes out.’
‘Sure.’ Tara sighed in a most unlike-Tara fashion. ‘I wonder if they got together in the end? Elsie and her letter-writer? Maybe they ran off together. Maybe that’s where she went?’
‘Since when did you have such a sentimental streak?’
‘Since forever,’ she said. ‘I just hide it well.’
‘Very well.’
She laughed. ‘This is lovely though, isn’t it? Like a romcom.’
I looked down at the densely packed words. ‘I just hope it has a happy ending.’