I rolled over and landed in a beautiful mess of hair. It smelled wonderful and I breathed deeply. Karen’s breathing was heavy and even; she was still deep asleep and I watched her, which brought me such comfort. I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling for a while, I don’t remember how long. I sat up and looked out the window. The moon was low and had cast dashes of silver ink on to the indigo of the lake’s surface. The view was spectacular from Karen’s condo.
“You shouldn’t have done what you did, Willie.”
“I know.”
I turned and Lamia was standing in the doorway. She entered the room and took a seat on the chair in the far corner.
“You were right to leave her be years ago. The life you had then was complicated and now, today, things are even more difficult for you. Do you care for this woman?”
“I do.”
“You can’t have it both ways. You’ll have to choose which is more important, the life you have or this woman. If you try for both, well you know what will happen.”
“Do I?”
She looked at me with that smile, her exposed skin almost glowing in the darkness of the room.
“You do what you want then. Break noses and sleep with whores, then come over here for a taste of normalcy.”
“Fuck you!”
“And your vocabulary, most impressive. She must love your sophistication, Willie.”
I didn’t respond to her jab. After all, she was right. I stood up and walked closer to the window. There was something burning on the water’s surface. I squinted, trying to make out the tiny illumination. What was once very small suddenly burst into a large green flame on the water’s surface. The flames stood out vibrantly against the water’s dark surface. The fire looked controlled and contained in size.
“It’s a Will-o’-the-wisp.”
I turned and Lamia was gone. Maneki was sitting on the end of the bed. It was beginning to feel like Christmas Eve all of sudden. All I needed was a Shrikun in the room, some chains and a pair of slippers.
“Stupid name.”
“I didn’t name it.” His tale was wagging and curling playfully behind him. “It signifies a death or more often, a death to come.”
“You’d think you’d have learned by now.” The tabby shook its head with sincere disappointment. “Once you ask I can’t tell you. Rules…”
“Are rules,” I said, finishing the tabby’s sentence. “Make an exception this time.”
Maneki lowered his head for a moment. “I can’t even if I wanted to. Once you ask, the information disappears, like it didn’t even exist for me in the first place. I can’t get it back.”
I looked at Karen, who was still sleeping.
“Could it be her?”
“Maybe, I really don’t know anymore.”
I wrung my hands out in front of me in frustration. It was my own damn fault. My lack of patience had cost me the most vital of information. The cat stared at me for a moment, then leapt from the bed and started towards the door.
“Where are you going?”
It turned its head back towards me. Its eyes were heavy with what seemed to be sadness.
“I have nothing more to offer here at this time.” Maneki continued through the door and was gone. I turned back to the window and looked out at the still-burning green flame on the water’s surface. Then it suddenly vanished; there was not a trace that remained of its existence, no smoke, nothing. I found my pants and shirt and put them on.
“What are you doing?”
I turned around and Karen was sitting up in bed. Her chest was exposed and one arm hung languidly across her breasts. She looked warm and relaxed.
“I have to go.”
Her expression changed and she subconsciously pulled the covers up over her exposed body.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“I wish you’d stay until the morning. I’ll make breakfast.”
“I can’t.”
She looked at me with speculation.
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both.”
“I missed something here. I didn’t think this was just about you getting me into bed.”
I realized there was no easy way out here, so I told her the truth.
“I’m not a good person, Karen. I’m part of something. The bruises and cuts, my knuckles… I fight men for money. I’ve killed men for money. I can’t be with you. I thought maybe I could, but it would just be a lie.”
“I don’t believe you. That’s not the person I’ve seen in you.”
“I’m a master manipulator and you’ve been suckered. I wanted to see what it would be like to be with someone like you and now that I have, it’s not worth it.”
She didn’t make a sound but tears fell freely from her eyes. I collected the rest of my things as she stared at me, almost stoically. I on the other hand was a coward. I looked away from her and left the room, leaving her behind with the pain that I had caused her. I was even enough of a bastard to think I had done her a favour.