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Chapter 5

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Justin

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Before I knew it, an entire week had gone by. Regardless of the clichés that came with the day and all the typical things people said about it, I was ecstatic that it was finally Friday, and it had nothing to do with the work. I’d gotten into it quicker than I’d anticipated, and found it was like remembering how to ride a bike.

It was the job itself that was wearing me out. I was good at what I had to do, but that was just the problem—it was easy. There was nothing in the job to challenge me. To label it as simple boredom would’ve been doing it a disservice.

I sat in the break room, glancing at my phone repeatedly to see if time was moving faster. I had just a little over an hour to go until I had freedom.

“How’s it going?” Grant asked me, as he poured himself some coffee.

“I’m basically done, man,” I told him. “I’ve got almost zilch to do until that clock hits five. I finished my workload about an hour ago.”

“Gah, I hate days like that,” he said, “I like to stay busy.”

“Why are you having coffee at four in the afternoon?” I wondered.

“Bro, I’ve gotta get a little kick of energy so we can go out drinking later tonight! You already know!”

“Dude, I’m sorry, I can’t tonight,” I informed him. “Last night, Kayla said she was gonna make dinner. She probably started cooking hours ago, so I can’t blow her off.”

“That’s a fucking bummer,” he said, disappointed. “Suppose she’s making enough for three? Maybe I’ll come on over. I’ll bring some drinks.”

“I can ask her,” I said.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he said. “I just thought you’d want to celebrate getting through your first week is all!”

“I’m down for that, let’s reschedule our drinking for next Friday,” I said. “I’ll buy the first round, and I’ll get you more fucked up than you were that first night in L.A.”

“Bro, don’t do that to me,” he said. “Even I don’t want to get that drunk again.”

He walked out with his coffee, leaving me to look back at my phone. Four o’clock.

I heaved a heavy sigh. Then, from the HR area, came the redhead that Grant had been eyeing for some time. She smiled at me, joining me at the table.

“TGIF, right?” she went.

“Exactly,” I said, absentmindedly.

“Justin, right? You’ve been here for like a week, and I haven’t said a word to you. I’m Mandy.”

I shook her hand, noticing her eyes beginning to scan me.

“Nice to meet you,” I told her. “You work in HR, right?”

“Indeed I do,” said Mandy. “Grant mentioned you were moving here from Los Angeles. Are you from there originally?”

“No, I’m from here, actually,” I said. “Moved back here about a week ago.”

“Ah. So, you don’t need a tour guide, I guess—”

I cleared my throat, awkwardly stepping away from the table. “Yeah, I know Newark a little too well, if anything. I’ll see ya next week.”

Without thinking too heavily about whether or not Grant’s fancy was flirting with me, I decided to go back to my cubicle to impatiently wait out the clock.

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“NORMALLY TOM HANDLES that account every year, but he implied pretty strongly that he wasn’t gonna be down for it this year,” said Grant, as he drove us away from Franklin & Wheeler. “I can do it on my own, but if you want, I can squeeze you in with me. If Tom sees you doing that with me, he’ll give you a lot more to do. You won’t have time to chill in the break room, you know?”

“Uh huh,” I mumble, as I looked out the window. The sky was overcast, and I wondered whether or not rain would be coming.

“I’ve been eyeing that empty office next to Tom’s for a while, I’m hoping that he gives that to me at the start of the New Year,” he continued. “It looks good to see me training the newbie. I appreciate you being around, you’re making me look better.”

He slapped my shoulder, receiving only a half-sincere grin from me as my gaze remained outside.

“Penny for your thoughts, Baker,” he said.

“I’m thinking about ideas on how to expand my photo portfolio,” I replied. “The way the sun is piercing through those clouds like that. With the proper lens, just as a heavy rain is about to start, that would look pretty sweet, I think.”

Grant chuckled. “Pictures of clouds, never seen those before.”

“It’s not about the clouds, it’s about how they’re presented,” I told him. “The right photograph isn’t just showing you an image—”

“You’re meant to feel a certain way,” he finished, in a mocking voice similar to my own. “I get it, I’m just fucking with you.”

“If it wouldn’t look incredibly creepy, I would actually love to take photos of the Franklin & Wheeler office space,” I said. “I’ve got to say, it’s full of great possibilities.”

Really?” Grant asked, flabbergasted. “How so?”

“The fluorescent lighting paints the picture of corporate America alone, I wouldn’t even need to bring in my personal lighting,” I explained. “The cubicles are there, that represents, well, the same as the lighting. All of the workers have perfect personalities to capture. What’s that guy’s name next to me—Fred? Fred can be on the phone and sound like an enthusiastic car salesman, but look like he wants to shoot himself. I’ve seen Tom literally put his feet up on his desk—perfect. It—”

I looked at Grant, who was giving me a judgmental look that deflated my speech.

“Well, I don’t want to bore you,” I finished.

Grant licked his lips, “No offense, dude, but how often am I going to hear about how much you hate this?”

“Until I find a reason not to,” I said, firmly.

“And, the reason that you don’t want to shoot with that one agency that Kayla worked for?”

“Kayla can be extremely jealous, and I don’t want her to wonder about me every time I go to work around people that she knows.”

Even I was surprised by my answer. I thought it was as simple as me not wanting to get into work with another modeling agency—that I wanted a change of scenery.

I decided not to dwell on my revelation. “And, shooting models isn’t what I ultimately want to do. Just like I got stuck shooting weddings, the last thing I want to do is get stuck doing that.”

“But, it’s something related to the field that you actually want to be in. I don’t want you to be miserable, Justin.”

I gave him a sincere grin. “I can handle it, man. Trust me, I was way more miserable working for Leila Camden and playing the insane games she was playing. I don’t think I could even explain all of that to a stranger without sounding insane.”

Just then, I got a text from Kayla.

Running a little late on dinner, sorry! You could go out for that drink with Grant!”

I gripped my phone, considering how to spend my newly allotted free time.

“What’s up?” Grant wondered. “That your lady?”

I felt a sudden surge of inspiration, “Drive us to Abrams.”

“The tattoo parlor?” he asked.

“Yes sir,” I confirmed. “I want to fill in one of my frames.”

“You’re the one that told me to never get a tattoo on impulse.”

“I’ve had the idea for a few days now,” I assured. “It’s not an impulsive idea, it’s just happening a little earlier than I planned. Kayla’s not going to be done with dinner for a while, and I think now is a better time than ever to do it. Onward, driver!”

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AFTER I RECEIVED THE new addition to my tattoo, Grant dropped me off at Kayla’s and went on his way. I felt a slight stinging underneath my shirt, but I wasn’t in severe pain. I was more afraid of a persistent itch than anything.

I entered the apartment and was hit by a wave of amazing smells. There were steamed vegetables, potatoes, a dessert that I couldn’t quite pick out, and the centerpiece, the pot roast.

“Honey, I’m home,” I called out to her.

“And, just in time!” said Kayla. She came running out of the kitchen to give me a quick hug and kiss before running back. “Make yourself comfortable, working man! I’ll bring the food to you! Do you want to eat at the table or do you want to watch something?”

“Cook’s choice,” I told her. I glanced over at the gorgeous meal as I washed my hands. “I’m just ready to eat all this incredible gourmet.”

“So am I,” she moaned. “I’ve had to take little bites here and there. It’s all good.”

“Let’s eat at the table,” I suggested.

In only a few short moments after I sat down, my girlfriend sat my full, steaming plate in front of me. We instantly began to gorge ourselves.

“How was work?” she asked me with a mouthful of potatoes.

“It was work,” I said, with a mouthful of carrots. “Can’t exactly call it satisfying, but it could have been worse, I guess.”

She moved her food around her plate with her fork playfully. “What did you and Grant do after work?”

I wanted to choose my words cleverly, but I decided to be candid. “I got a new tattoo. Well, added more to the one I already have.”

She dropped her fork, “I wanna see!”

“I’m not taking my shirt off while we’re eating dinner, Kayla”

“But, then it’d be easier for me to throw your sexy ass onto the table and have my way with you...”

“As appealing and amazing as that sounds, I think we might want to finish this meal you worked really hard on, darling,” I said.

“Fine,” she pouted playfully. “So, what is it?”

“I’ll show you after dinner,” I winked.

“You’re really intriguing me, sir,” she said, while seemingly trying to use x-ray vision to look through my shirt.

I chuckled. “I’m just really happy that it’s the weekend, and I don’t have to look at a computer, the walls of a cubicle, or the super white walls of our break room. It’s just you, me, and whatever the hell we feel like doing.”

She looked down at her plate, biting her lip guiltily. “Unfortunately, that’s not really how this weekend is going to go, I’m afraid.”

I grunted at her, unable to speak with my mouth full.

“I have to go on a business trip,” she said. “Bethany and I—we leave tomorrow, and I’m not really sure when we’ll be back.”

“What, like you’ll be gone all weekend?” I asked.

“Yeah, maybe ‘til Tuesday or Wednesday,” she said. “Or later. I’m not sure yet.”

“What kind of business meeting are we talking here?”

“Related to K-Plus,” she replied.

I nodded in approval. “I see, well, well. Do I get to hear any of the juicy details? What’s it about?”

She returned my wink, “I’m not going to tell you until after dinner.”

I rolled my eyes. “Well played, K. Well, I understand that you’ve got to go, but what am I going to do? Should I go crash with Grant for a while? I’m sure he’d be thrilled.”

“You can stay here, Justin,” she said, patting my hand. “As far as I’m concerned, this is your place, too.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“Well yeah. I mean—you’re here to be with me, right? Why not?”

“Good point,” I concurred. “So, where is the meeting? Do I get to know that?”

“Los Angeles.”

My heart skipped a beat once again. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I do wish that we could spend time together this weekend, I was looking forward to it—but, we’ll have plenty more weekends after this one.”

“Exactly!”

I wasn’t sure what to ask or how to ask it, but my mind was wandering quickly. “Have you... heard anything from Leila lately?”

“Not really,” she replied cryptically. “Have you?”

“No,” I answered. “You just mentioned L.A. is all. I was curious.”

I truly didn’t want to push the subject. The less we could discuss Leila, the better.

Also, while I didn’t like admitting it to myself, over the past couple of days, I’d been thinking often about how I missed working with my camera. I didn’t miss working for Leila Camden, but I did miss going to work and seeing a studio instead of a cubicle. I missed looking at my own computer, in order to edit the photos I took that I was proud of, rather than staring at a screen full of an enormous amount of graphs with numbers staring back at me. I was also afraid that if Kayla saw the passion behind my eyes flicker for even a moment, that she would continue her attempts to bring me over to Donnie T.’s agency.

We finished our meal in silence, but my train of thought was unstoppable; and hers was too.

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KAYLA WAS LYING IN bed, wearing a negligee she had designed recently, looking sexy as ever. I unbuttoned my shirt to reveal my body and its newest addition.

She sat up slightly, looking at the new ink on my chest. “What is it?”

Immediately, she saw what it was, reaching out to touch it, but refraining.

It was a camera, one that looked similar to my own. In the lens, there was a faint etching of a reflection, also similar to my own. The reflected man was holding another camera, aiming it forward with his hand on the lens. His camera strap was around his shoulder, and a tie was draped over his shoulder near his neck. She looked at me with full understanding.

I decided to elaborate, anyway. “It’s so I won’t forget what I really want. Every time I take off my shirt, I’ll have a reminder.”

“Justin, you’re not going to forget about your dreams.”

“I mean, I don’t think I would. But, I’ve seen a lot of people get trapped in routine jobs they don’t like, but that get them by. Before they know it, ten years have gone by, and since they got comfortable—complacent, they lose sight of their goals. It happens, that’s the way life is.”

She caressed my face with her gentle hands. I took them in my own and kissed them.

“You’re going to be exactly where you need to be, baby,” she said. “You come alive whenever you’re holding a camera. I’m not going to let your dream die.”

She kissed me, lying back down.

“In fact,” she continued. “I think you should go pull out that camera right now, and take some photos of me. I haven’t been your muse in quite some time, you know.”

I leapt off the bed, “You’re exactly right.”

Once into my camera bag, I pulled out the tool that was the basis for my tattoo. I turned it on, turning myself on in the process, thinking of the many ways that I was going to have Kayla pose for me.

Back on the bed, I was soon kneeling over her, looking at her through the lens. Before we started, I leaned over and kissed her lips, holding for many seconds, each of us unwilling to let go.

When we finally broke, I stroked her hair, rearranging it to my will.

“I’m glad you’re still working hard on, darling,” I told her. “I wish you didn’t have to leave until Sunday or Monday, but whatever happens in your meeting—you’re going to kill it, I know you will.”

And so, our night evolved into something that words could hardly describe with proper prose. It felt like a night like we had shared before, and yet one that I had only imagined in my daydreams. I was taking pictures of her so rapidly and with such impulsive direction that even I was unsure of what the finished image would look like. All I knew was that Kayla was still my dream subject, a model that I could shoot without having to say a coherent word or sentence.