It’s been the longest few days of my life. And that’s saying something. Me and Catrin sit on her front doorstep, not caring that it’s cold. I can’t stand being inside, just waiting for the phone call. Aunty Pearl’s in our house doing what she does best – cleaning – but she’s not being a pain about it.

Richie had to go to court, but the police got him in front of the magistrate quickly because he was helpful and didn’t try to make out like he was innocent. He wouldn’t let me see him in custody, so Nigel kept visiting.

Bethan brings us warm milk, and cushions to sit on. Rhodri wants me to play with him but I say not today. He doesn’t even complain. I must look properly miserable.

‘Want to get our bikes?’ Catrin asks. ‘Just up and down the street? Might take your mind off it.’ I look at her like she’s gone mad. ‘Sorry, I know nothing really will.’

I stare into my mug. ‘You get yours if you like.’

‘I’ll stay here,’ she says quietly. ‘Next to you.’

Next to me. By my side. Where she’s always been.

Aunty Pearl leans out of our front bedroom window. ‘When’s the last time you washed these nets?’

‘Oh my God, Catrin – she’s taking the flipping curtains down!’

Catrin leans forward and looks up at our house. ‘She’s crackers, mun.’

‘I don’t know!’ I shout to Aunty Pearl.

She says nothing and closes the window.

The phone rings. We jump, slopping our milk. I run into the passage to answer it.

‘Richie?’

Pip pip pip while he puts the money in.

‘Hello? Jason, is that you?’

‘Yeah. What happened?’

‘It’s all right. I got bail. Nigel’s been brilliant.’

I nod. Stupidly, like he can see me.

‘Jase? You still there?’

‘Y-yeah.’ I can’t seem to get any other words out.

‘See you soon, yeah? After the paperwork. Love you.’

‘Love you too.’

Click.

A weird, wobbly rush of air comes out of me and I sit down hard on the telephone chair.

‘Well?’ Bethan’s in the kitchen doorway.

‘He’s coming home,’ I whisper.

It’s way after teatime when they come through the front door, not that I ate much. Too jumpy. Nigel smiles, but it’s an exhausted one. Richie follows him in, shoulders slumped, looking completely worn out.

Bethan says she’ll do us fish finger sandwiches. ‘And a nice cup of tea,’ she says, giving Richie a cwtch.

He manages a smile too. ‘Thanks.’

‘Catrin,’ she says. ‘Your brother’s meant to be asleep but he’s scampering around up there. Tell him to get in bed right now. Read him a story, that might settle him down.’

Catrin huffs but goes upstairs. Me and Richie get ushered into the living room.

‘Where’s Aunty Pearl?’ he asks, looking around as if he expects her to pop up from behind a chair.

‘Gone home to pay the coalman,’ I say. ‘What happened?’

‘She been all right?’

‘Yeah, fine, but never mind her – what happened, Rich?’

‘Sit down and I’ll tell you.’ He flumps on to the settee and rubs his hand over his forehead. ‘Shattered, I am.’

I pull the pouffe across the room so I can sit facing him. ‘Did they treat you okay? Are you going to proper prison?’

‘Slow down, Jase! Give me a chance, mun. I’ll tell you now.’

I sit up straight and fold my arms. ‘Go on then.’

‘It has to go to Crown Court –’

‘Like on the TV?’

He smiles a bit. ‘Yeah, but no cameras. The police think I have a very good chance of avoiding a prison sentence. Because I’ve shown remorse and because, well …’ He picks some fluff off his best trousers. ‘There are mitigating circumstances.’

‘What does that mean?’

He takes a big breath. ‘It means they can see it’s out of character for me – Nigel, Gwyn and Dai Dep being character witnesses helped, especially Dai – and that I’ve been under pressure since Mam and Dad died.’

‘Oh.’

He leans forward and takes both my hands in his. ‘Not because of you though. Don’t go thinking that.’

‘I know.’

‘And I thought money was the answer,’ he says, looking down at our fingers. ‘That if we had enough, then Aunty Pearl would see we were fine and get off my case and … well … I wanted to look after you …’ He sighs. So long and heavy and sad I feel my heart squish up in my chest. ‘Like Mam and Dad would’ve wanted.’

I blink and tears roll down my cheeks.

‘I have to testify against Snook and the gang.’ He lets go of my hands and goes to get up. ‘But I don’t want to think about that right now. Let’s talk about the rest tomorrow, eh? I’m starving.’

But I put my hand on his arm. ‘What did you go back for?’

He looks confused.

‘In the workshop, when the fire started. What did you go back for?’

He reaches inside his jumper. ‘This.’

‘Your St Christopher!’

‘Took it off while I was working. Habit from the depot. Being safe. Which was a joke up there, I know.’ He tucks it away again.

‘That was a stupid thing to do. You could have died.’

‘Been making a lot of stupid choices lately, haven’t I?’

‘Yeah.’

He looks me right in the eye. ‘But it all stops here. I promise.’

And I believe him so all I say is, ‘Let’s go and eat. Those fish fingers smell lush.’