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At breakfast the next morning, we were briefed by John on the day’s itinerary. The plan was to go rock climbing this morning and a trail ride this afternoon. After everyone had eaten and departed outside to the trucks, I hung back, waiting to speak with John.
“Hey, John. Can I have a word please?”
He turned around from his plate of food, cramming the last few bits in as he nodded to me.
“Um, I don’t think I can do the rock climbing yet. With my arm and all.”
He slapped a hand to his head. “I totally forgot. I’m so sorry.” He swallowed the last of his breakfast. “Yeah, no problem. Hang back and entertain yourself. We’ll be back around one.”
I thanked him and headed outside. I’d spotted a small ledge about a quarter of a mile out, on the outer edge of the ranch perimeter. It looked over the desert and would be a perfect place to just sit and be.
I sat down on the rough ground, my legs dangling over the edge. I gazed out over the scenery, straining my eyes to see as far as possible. It was incredible out here, another world. How would I ever accept being back at home after this? Living in the middle of a city in a small but ridiculously expensive house, neighbours staring at me through every window, no grass or open landscapes. It was so claustrophobic, but this, this was just heaven on earth.
My phone chimed at me, breaking my peace and my blissful thoughts.
Hey. I hope you’re having a good time. Tell Uncle John I said hi. I’m so sorry about all of this mess, Soph. I hope we can sort through things when you get back. If you need anything, please just say. Love Z xxx
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Despite our situation of not really speaking, she was still there for me. Sorting things out with Zoe was something I desperately wanted to do but it would have to wait until I sorted me and Ben out. She knew that was the bigger issue for me at the moment.
With my fair skin, it didn’t take long for the radiating heat to bother me. I could feel my skin burning with every second I spent out here. It was my own fault for not fetching my sun cream. I jumped up, brushing the dust off my jeans as I made my way back to my room.
A screech from above caught my attention. I looked up, shielding my eyes with my hands. I was treated to the fabulous sight of a huge bird flying overhead. Its silhouette against the bright blue sky was just magnificent. I couldn’t help the grin spreading across my face as I watched it gliding through the air, looking for its next meal.
For some unknown reason, I decided it would be a clever idea to continue walking as I stared upwards, entranced by the magnificent bird of prey. As predicted, I tripped over my own feet after a few seconds. On instinct, my arms outstretched, ready to break my fall. My entire weight fell on my left arm, my fragile wrist taking the brunt of the fall. The shooting pain drilled through me before I’d even fully come to a stop. I rolled on my back, biting back tears as I swore at myself for being so damn stupid. I grasped my throbbing forearm and stumbled to my feet.
Shit.
With John and the majority of the staff out rock climbing with the others, there was hardly anyone around. I knew Brady was around somewhere but I’d be damned before I went to him for help. I folded my arms over my chest and cradled my aching wrist.
I walked past the barn, heading towards my chalet. The only thing on my mind was hoping and praying I hadn’t broken it again.
“Are you going to let me look at that?”
I spun around to see Brady striding towards me from one of the corrals. From there, he would have been able to see me as clear as day. My heart stopped dead when I realised he’d seen the whole thing. How embarrassing.
I shook my head. “I’m ok.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “So, if I ask you to help me carry hay bales into the barn, you can manage that, can you?”
“You wouldn’t ask me anyway. Guests aren’t allowed near the barn.”
“Touché.” He inclined his head towards my arm. “I’m sure it’s only a sprain. Bones are tougher than you think.”
My face clouded over at his presumption. “Not when they’ve already been broken and only been out of a cast for a week.”
Something in his features changed. I would almost label it as concern if it hadn’t been for our icy exchanges over the past couple of days. “Ah. I see your worry. Do you want me to take a look at it?”
“No, thanks. I’ll deal with it.”
I gave a brief smile and continued walking, trying my hardest to ignore him watching me. The pain streaming up and down my left arm was immense. By the time I reached my room, tears were flowing down my cheeks through a mixture of agony and fear.
I drowned a towel in cold water before wrapping it around the core of the pain. I flopped back on my bed, running my hand over my sweating forehead. Worry consumed me as my immediate thought was another break. I didn’t want to set myself back anymore. Upset and emotions all over the place, I did the only thing I could think of—ring my Mum.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Mum?”
“Hey, Soph. How are you?”
As much as I tried to stop it, I couldn’t. I burst into tears. “I think I’ve broken my arm again.”
“Oh, Soph, no. How? Have you been to hospital?”
I relayed the ridiculous scenario back to her in a croaky voice, wiping at my tears every few words. With each passing minute I spoke to her, I calmed down, realising I was probably making a mountain out of a molehill.
“Sophie, honestly.” A soft laugh trickled down the phone line. “Trust you to do something so silly.”
I smiled at her words. I had been a clumsy child, only growing out of it as I ended my teenage years. “The bird was pretty though.”
She laughed. “That’s ok then. Listen, on a serious note, you’re going to get it looked at, ok? Give yourself peace of mind.”
I agreed with her, telling her I’d let her know the results. I lingered around saying goodbye. I wanted to talk, to get things off my chest. Being my mum of course, she knew my funny little habits.
“You ok, honey?”
“No.” I closed my eyes as more tears escaped. “I can’t...I still can’t believe he did it to me. How could he do that? Ten years of my life, of our lives, just gone. Like that.”
Silence followed for a few seconds. “I don’t know, Sophie. I really am at a loss with him.”
My quiet tears became sobs, huge gasping breaths wracking my chest as I finally let everything out. “He effectively put me in a coma. I spent weeks in hospital with nothing else to think about. How am I supposed to forgive him for that? I can’t.”
She comforted me as much as she could over the phone. I nodded along, mute from my pain. To hurt emotionally, I could handle. To hurt physically, I could also handle. Both together? Well, that resulted in this, right now. A whiny, blubbery mess melting into oblivion.
“Something made you attempt to patch things up, honey. Remember that.”
I snorted, my anger making a slow comeback, crawling over my distress with its red-hot tendrils. “The fact I needed care once I was out of the hospital. That was it. If it hadn’t been for the fact I was confined to my bed twenty-four seven, I wouldn’t have had the chance to soften to his meaningless crap.”
“You could have come home for your father and I to look after you. Something made you want to stay.”
“It’s my house as much as his. Why should I have to recuperate elsewhere because of him? Plus, running around after me constantly was the least he could do.” A smile crossed my lips at this, my cruel side peeking from beneath.
A long exhale sounded down the line. “Don’t think about it for now, ok? Get your arm sorted out and think about him another time. You can’t deal with all of it at once.”
I took a deep breath, agreeing with her before saying my goodbyes. At least something good had come of talking to Mum—my sorrow was now replaced with the familiar bubble of fury deep in my gut. At the moment, it was this which drove me forwards, kept me ticking over and on the side of sanity.
Feeling better, I splashed my face with cold water, swallowed some ibuprofen, and headed up to the main house to the movie theatre. Losing myself in an alternate reality was more than needed right now.