“This time, don’t go eating vindaloo the night before the race!” Adam said. “Right, Kaz?”
“It wasn’t curry, it was a bug.” Jo bit her nails. “I’ve stopped smoking, what more d’you want!”
“Undying devotion and fucking fast legs.” Adam was blowing bubble gum bubbles. “And while you’re at it, can you swap shifts with me Thursday?”
“I still think you should run instead of me, Kaz,” Zack said. “I slow you all down.”
“Stop that!” Kaz told him sternly. “What are we?”
“A team.” Four voices said in unison.
“A sexy team!” Adam declared.
“That’s right. We are a sexy team, and I am merely the coach.” He beamed as Zack blew a kiss. “Zack, you are a vital part of this team. I have run my last race.” In his heart, he knew it was true.
“Yeah, babe. Your cakes have got us this far,” Jo said.
“What matters is we encourage each other and rise above the snobbery from those college boys.”
“Fuckers.” Adam curled his lip. “If they say anything this time, I’ll report them for sexually harassing me.”
“Now, come on, let’s start. Not long until the big day.” They rose and began stretching. “It’s short and fast tonight.” Since the trials, whatever had broken free during his last run had also released something bright and shiny—something fun. He rubbed his hands together. “Chop-chop!”
“Do you think I’m improving?” Zack panted afterwards. Hopefully, he’d take his top off soon and look up through lowered lashes, knowing how Kaz liked to watch.
“Oh, yes! All you have to remember is keeping your knees up.”
“And don’t trip!”
***
“So they don’t even know you’re alive?” Zack stared at the phone as if it might explode. “Oh my god.”
“No. I remembered three numbers—Coach, my dad, and my brother. I never rang.”
“Are you sure you want to?”
“I think…they would want to know I’m alive even if they don’t want me. I mean—I think so.” It would always be difficult to utter those words. “Even if they can’t accept me.”
“What are you going to say?”
“Nothing. I’m not calling.” He might never be ready for that. “I’ll text—just that I’m here. Then it’s up to them if they reply.”
“I can’t understand it, babe. How could they do it?”
Kaz thought. “If all your life, and your grandparents’ lives, you’ve been told green is green, then of course you’re going to think it’s green.” He switched the phone on. “It’s very complicated.”
Zack nudged his foot. “Even if you were green stripes and had trees growing from your nose, I’d still want you. It’s very easy.”
Kaz nudged him back. “Good.”
“Go on, then. Do it now while I’m here.” They settled together into the easy chair Lisa had brought in return for him clearing more than half his piles. The stuff was safe in the storage room, and now he had room for his friends to come in and tell him about sex.
“I’ll text Coach first.” Kaz quickly typed in the words and pressed send before he could change his mind.
Zack fanned his face. “Oh my god—so stressful!”
Almost immediately, the phone pinged back. Tears streamed down Kaz’s face as he read the words then quickly typed a reply. “He’s OK,” he told Zack tearfully. “He’s alive.”
It began to ring and flashed Coach’s name.
The sudden shrill notes made the walls vibrate and press against his head like a shrinking tunnel. Within seconds, he had no breath.
“It’s ringing, babe. Shall I answer it?” Zack whispered. His voice was a steady hand in the maelstrom of emotions rampaging through Kaz. He gripped Zack gratefully and pressed the answer button.
“Coach?”
***
“We are going to go out there like wild fire!” Kaz said as Zack handed out tiny cakes. “And remember—it doesn’t matter if we come last, because the money is promised. There is no last or first place—only our team and finishing with pride.”
By now, Adam had raised over four thousand pounds for the shelter. Their story had been in the local paper and featured on the regional TV news, where Adam had shamelessly begged for donations.
“What are these cakes called, Zack?”
“Success.”
“Perfect. Every step you run is another pound going to the shelter. Your families will be so proud.” His family would not be there—would never be there—but that morning, an envelope with Coach’s handwriting had been waiting on Kaz’s shelf. Coach knew about the race and said he would be thinking of Kaz and his team.
And one day, maybe, Kaz might be brave enough to call his parents. But there were some items in the piles he knew he could never tackle, and maybe his family were the same. He caught Zack watching, and smiled back.
“My mum’s there. She says it’s heaving with people and there’s TV cameras,” Zack said thoughtfully, sucking a cake. “I hope she hasn’t found the beer tent already, or we’re all doomed to hear about her younger days.”
“How hot do we look, though!” Adam grinned. “Cameras want a team vid at the end, so make sure I’m at the front, ’cause no offence, but I’m our team looker.” They were crowded into Zack’s car, wearing team colours with a tiny insignia designed and sewn painstakingly by Tork and Jo. They all wore the line:
We forge the chains we wear in life. –Charles Dickens
“I feel much better than last time,” Jo said. “Though I’m farting a bit—especially on you, Adam.”
“We look fantastic, because we are fantastic. I love you all,” Kaz said. “Especially Zack.” He took a deep breath. “Ready, my team?” His team, his boyfriend, and his friends.
“Yeah. The world deserves to see me in these shorts.”
“You’ve had them shortened, haven’t you?”
“Might’ve.”
“Stop farting!”
“Team pizza afterwards, remember? My dad’s paying.”
They clambered out and began walking towards the park entrance. There were food stalls and performers and people of all types. Teenagers sat necking on the bench and summer was in the air.
Kaz smiled and gave a little nod of acknowledgement towards the rooftops in the distance. He might never find a way to be reconciled, but for now was happy to live alongside them and be at peace with his decision.
On hold.
“Hold your heads high,” he told the team. “We earned our place to be here.”
“But don’t trip up, Zack, fuck sake,” Adam said. “My heart can’t take it again, mate.” He looked stunning, but now Kaz knew he was so much more than an expensive haircut.
“This is all down to you, Adam. You should be proud.”
“Of my legs?”
“I think you’re getting cellulite,” Jo said. “I didn’t wanna say.”
It was crowded and warm, but all Kaz heard were his friends joking, and then the loud speaker was announcing the start. As coach and reserve, he was allowed to go with them to the start line.
“Run! Show off those legs!” he said as Adam lined up, and then it was chaos with runners and batons. His team shouted and cheered, and Adam was away.
“This is so much better than the last one! I always wanted to be in a team,” Zack said. “I’m gonna miss all that when it’s over. I loved being part of something.”
“Me, too, babe.” Jo said. “It’s been life-changing, yeah?”
“Over?” Tork laughed. “It’s never going to be over. Adam is talking about the team entering the London Marathon next, then, I think he said New York. There’s no ‘over’ for us.”
“It’s true. He’s already got the application form,” Kaz told Zack, whose eyes were shining. “You’re not getting out of training that easily.”
* * * * *