OH, WOE! I closed my eyes, fearing they’d boil over. My skin, my stomach, even my bones, seemed to blaze. I would have screamed, but I didn’t want to belch flame and burn the world.
In the distance I heard my parents and Annet cry out in dismay. Drualt crowed, “Fairy magic!”
Halina snapped, “Don’t go near her!”
Drualt sounded indignant. “Let go of me! Begging your pardon. Why not, begging your pardon?”
“You’d die.”
“Oh.”
At last, I felt the chill air again.
Poppi stared at me and gasped. “Aunt Nadira?”
“Where’s Perry?” Mama added, “Beg pardon.”
I swallowed and tried to speak. No sound came out.
Poppi told Halina, “Aunt Nadira’s dead. I had a letter a month ago. Who’s this, begging your pardon?”
“I’m Perry.” My voice sounded scratchy. Poppi, a yard away, stood taller than I did, and my eyes were level with Annet’s. “I shrank!” But I felt just like myself.
“Fairies haven’t done this in centuries, and we never used to do it often.” Halina touched my arm, and her peace infected me again. “I’ve given you the form of your father’s late aunt. It’s convenient she died. . . .”
Had the fairy killed her?
“Certainly I had no hand in her death. A thoroughly unpleasant woman, however. She lived far from here. It’s perfect.” She smiled her glowing smile.
I looked down at myself. My clothes seemed to have shrunk to fit me. The skin on my hands was looser and my knuckles more prominent. I felt for my hair, but I had to reach higher before finding a lock. When I held it out, only a few strands of black threaded through the gray.
If I found him, Willem wouldn’t recognize me!
Halina added, “Now you can stay with your family.” She addressed them. “Don’t forget to call her Nadira.”
“Why does she have to save us Bamarre?” I heard pity in Mama’s voice. “I’m sorry, but she deserves an ordinary life.”
“She does.” Halina sounded sad. “She’s never had one.”
“Can’t you free us?” Poppi said.
Halina moved to Poppi, her chin an inch from his nose.
He backed away a step.
She followed. “I suppose fairies should make sure nothing bad ever happens. No tragedy. No injustice. No misfortune.”
Poppi bobbed his head. “That would be a kindness.”
“Fairies will not free the Bamarre.”
I felt as if I were hovering apart from everyone. “How long will I continue to look this way?” I wondered how my mouth appeared when I spoke.
“Since she looks just like Nadira, she can stay with us,” Poppi said. Once, he’d been heartbroken to lose me.
“Excellent!” Halina beamed at him.
“How long will I look this way?”
“Fairies are proud of you, Aunt Nadira.”
Answer me!
“You’ve struck fear into Lord Tove.”
I couldn’t have.
“Nonetheless, you have. You’re trained and talented. You escaped from your prison, and you blinded him. Certainly he’s frightened.”
Drualt stared at me, wide-eyed.
“Is Willem alive?”
“He is.”
I smiled and couldn’t stop. “Is he well? Where?”
She didn’t answer. Did that mean he wasn’t well?
Poppi said, “Who’s Willem?”
“A young Lakti. They’re in love.” Annet drew out l-o-o-o-ve, mocking me.
Halina wheeled on her. “Nothing that has happened to you has been your sister’s fault. I’ll thank you for remembering that truth.”
Annet raised her arm to protect herself.
I felt glad, but I defended her. “She did her best.”
Halina sighed, and her peony scent grew stronger. “Nothing was Annet’s fault, either.” She turned to my parents. “Aunt Nadira must grow up a little more and learn to feel that she’s a Bamarre. I expect all of you to teach her.” She smiled. “You’re a fine family.”
“How long will I look this way?”
Halina tipped up my chin. “Don’t begin your task before you’re ready, but don’t miss your opportunities.”
“If we teach Aunt Nadira,” Poppi said, “will you stop the Lakti cruelty?”
Halina pursed her mouth as if she’d eaten something spoiled. “Goodman Adeer, if you help your daughter, there will be consequences, and if you don’t help her, there will be, too.” Her expression softened. “You may be inspired to greatness.” She vanished.
Poppi stared at the space where she’d been. Finally, he said, “Come.” He drew Mama’s arm in his and started off. Annet hurried and clasped Poppi’s other arm.
I was alone until Drualt took my hand in his firm grip. I asked him how old he was. From his height and his determined stride, I guessed eleven, but he said he was nine, which meant he’d been born five years after Lady Mother took me.
He said, “I want to save us Bamarre with you.”
I sang a battle verse, changing Lakti to Bamarre:
“Let arrows fly,
Let spears thrust,
Let swords slice
The shattered air.
Courage will not crumble,
Resolve will not fade.
Bamarre will triumph.
Bamarre will prevail.”
When I finished, he sang,
“Daring Drualt beside
Proud Peregrine,
Riding to victory.”
I smiled. How unexpected, this brother.
I’d never lived anywhere as humble as my parents’ cottage, only one room with their sleeping loft above. A spinning wheel stood in one corner and a square table in another. Bolts of fabric lay under this table. Was Poppi or Mama a tailor?
A leather-bound book rested atop a long table, the one we’d eat on. I estimated the cottage’s length to be twenty paces, a little less in width. Under the loft, the ceiling grazed Poppi’s head. The cottage stank of mildew, smoke, and garlic.
On the first night, despite my protests, Drualt gave me his pallet and slept, wrapped in blankets, on the rushes by the fireplace.
I kept my eyes open in the dark. The dying fire glowed. Annet and Drualt were dark shapes. Baka lay at my sister’s feet.
Except for Drualt, my birth family considered me a chore, as I had been to Annet. A lump rose in my throat.
I swallowed against it and then made myself sadder. Where was my second family now? Was Lady Mother preparing to fight in the spring campaign, now that I was gone? I knew she must be sad. And probably disappointed in me for giving myself away.
Annet and I both thought Lord Tove would come here, and I believed he’d arrive soon. Not knowing my whereabouts would gnaw at him. He’d suppose me here or with the Kyngoll—because what other choices did I have?—and he couldn’t go to them for information.
Fear gripped me. I imagined him riding through the night, coming ever closer. He could have overtaken me earlier today!
I fumbled for my purse, which I hadn’t removed for sleep, and pulled out the magic shell.
Only peaceful sounds. Snores, people turning over, dogs rumbling in their sleep.
If not on his way, was Lord Tove lying in his bed as I was on this pallet? Might he be thinking of the child he’d loved? Did his loathing ever subside enough for him to miss me?
A tear slid out, but I squeezed my eyes shut against it. Using my Lakti training, I imagined the peaceful village, the blinking stars, a rabbit crossing a snowy field—and slept.
When I awoke, I was surprised all over again to be Nadira.
Everyone else was already awake. The table was spread with a breakfast of bread, cheese, and sweet onions, but I pulled the magic tablecloth out of my sack anyway. I might be a more welcome guest if I could provide wonderful food.
“Good tablecloth, please set thyself.”
The tablecloth opened next to the real table.
“Pe— Aunt Nadira!” Annet cried.
“Magic!” Drualt shouted.
Mama and Poppi yelped, one high, one low.
We received two loaves of bread, a green-onion omelet, shrimp piled four inches thick, and a bowl of blueberries. Five white bowls were stacked next to five silver spoons.
Drualt fairly leaped to the table, took a bowl, and began to help himself to shrimp.
“Don’t eat that!” Poppi knocked the bowl out of his hand. It fell without breaking, but the shrimp scattered on the rushes that covered the dirt floor. “You don’t know if it’s safe.”
More shrimp appeared on the platter. And another bowl replaced the dirty one.
I cut myself a slice of the white bread. “It won’t hurt you. It’s delicious.”
“See?” Drualt reached again, but our mother pulled him away.
“What if someone came in?” Poppi said. “A Lakti?”
Did they come uninvited?
“Will it stay here forever?” Mama asked.
“Please make it go away, Aunt Nadira,” Annet said.
“Good tablecloth, I thank thee for a fine meal.”
Everyone gasped as the meal shrank and vanished, including the shrimp on the floor, but what was left of my slice of bread stayed in my hand. I finished it, swallowing my unhappiness along with the bread.
Drualt looked as disappointed as I felt.
Lady Mother had been hard to please, too. I just had to discover how to earn my family’s nod. Love was conditional here, too.