A SENSATION OF ANXIETY and anticipation washed over Peter as he made his way up from the Skagway docks. Word had come that Summer Song had arrived some hours earlier, as well as news that Martin Paxton had traveled north with the Colton family.
His family was to have rooms in the upstairs quarters of Martin Paxton’s mercantile. Being one of the few completed wood-framed buildings, Paxton’s store would afford them the best protection from the elements, as well as allow them time to visit with Paxton and make plans for the future.
To say that news of his father’s friend coming north was disturbing was an understatement Peter didn’t care to explore. He should have been grateful and glad for Paxton’s interest in his family, yet he felt like a jealous sibling. For reasons that were beyond his understanding, Martin Paxton’s arrival was rapidly diminishing the pride Peter felt in having purchased a building for the Colton Trading Post. He had planned to sit down with his father and explain the situation and the expenditures necessary to secure the store in Dyea. He had hoped to receive his father’s blessing and approval for the choices he’d made, and somehow Martin Paxton’s presence robbed Peter of the limelight. Peter knew his father would be focused on the old family friend rather than Peter’s accomplishments, and it made him feel most uncomfortable.
I have to stop undermining my victories and accomplishments, Peter told himself. I’ve worked hard for this, and the likes of Paxton shouldn’t be the cause of my defeat.
Acquiring the building had come at no small sacrifice. He’d had to pay a great deal to purchase the building, and along with this, Peter had to pledge shipments of building supplies that he would turn over at cost to the contractor. With the purchase finalized, Peter had sent half a dozen of his best men to help with the move of the store’s goods and had even hired a sign painter to mark the new business properly. He felt good about what he’d accomplished. It had cost him a pretty penny, to be sure, but Grace and her friends, along with the trade goods, would be safe. The expense was worth it. Still, the idea of having to share his news in the presence of a man he had come to feel rather negatively toward left Peter feeling foolish.
Father admires and cares deeply for this man, he reminded himself. It’s hardly fitting that I should despise the man simply for encouraging my father to take proper business risks. After all, Paxton had the capital to offer along with his advice.
As Peter neared the store he admired an artistically painted red, white, and blue sign announcing Paxton & Co. Mining Supplies. An American flag was painted on either side of the name. The sign was new and Peter was notably impressed with the addition. It lent the store a certain flair of wealth and prestige, as well as patriotism. Of course, he wasn’t sure that the stampeders would care about the aesthetics, but the tasteful presentation both impressed and discouraged Peter. His own store would be a shoddy example next to Paxton’s. Perhaps I can get my own painter to embellish Colton Trading Post with a bit of flair. I might even bring up several gallons of colorful paint and do the store up proper. The thought made him feel marginally better.
Peter made his way inside, nodding at the clerk and searching the room for any sign of a familiar face. ‘‘I believe Mr. Paxton is arriving today along with my family,’’ he announced.
‘‘Yes, sir. They’re all upstairs. You can use the stairs back there.’’ The man pointed to an open door beside a display of sleigh runners and wagon tongues.
Peter nodded and made his way through the well-stocked store. No doubt deliveries from Summer Song were quick to be put into order if Mr. Paxton had anything to say about the matter.
Climbing the steep, narrow stairs, Peter wondered what his encounter with Martin Paxton might actually bring to light. The man could be someone Peter might respect and enjoy dealing with. Intelligent men with a mind for business were always of value to Peter’s way of thinking.
He opened the door onto the second floor and was greeted by Miranda’s laughter and his father’s enthusiastic tales of boyhood.
‘‘Peter!’’ Miranda declared as he stepped into the room. ‘‘Oh, do come join us. Father is telling the most delightful story of when he and Mr. Paxton’s mother got lost while exploring a cave.’’
‘‘I’m glad to see you all have arrived safely,’’ Peter said, giving his mother and sister a smile. He turned his attention only briefly to his father before sizing up the middle-aged man at his father’s side.
‘‘You must be Martin Paxton,’’ Peter said, not waiting for an introduction.
Paxton smiled and extended his hand. ‘‘And you are the man responsible for keeping Colton Shipping in the black. Your father speaks very highly of you.’’
Peter felt some of his confidence return. He smiled at Paxton, noting a severity in the older man’s expression. While he offered a smile and friendly words, the man’s eyes seemed to denote a more cautious demeanor.
‘‘And I’ve heard favorable stories of the Paxtons since I was a small boy,’’ Peter replied, shaking hands.
‘‘We are all very much like family, eh?’’
‘‘Indeed we are,’’ Ephraim Colton offered. ‘‘Once you have found your bride and are married, we shall endeavor to have you both spend time with us in San Francisco.’’
Peter was confused by the statement. ‘‘Are you looking for someone in particular or simply searching the Alaskan territory for a wife?’’
Paxton laughed. ‘‘No, I have a particular woman in mind. We were engaged some time ago. She came north with friends and, well, I was to join her here. We’ll marry and return to the States before winter disallows for easy passage.’’
‘‘You shouldn’t have any trouble. These harbors are said to remain open year-round. I’ve not yet experienced the situation firsthand but have heard favorably from other captains.’’
‘‘That’s indeed good news,’’ Paxton replied.
Peter couldn’t shake the feeling that Paxton was considering him beyond the mere introduction of a family friend. Paxton’s green eyes seemed to take in everything around him all at once, while at the same time be zeroed in on Peter as if awaiting an answer to some unspoken question.
‘‘We told Mr. Paxton you could probably help him in finding his fiancé,’’ Peter’s mother began, ‘‘but seeing the number of people in Skagway, perhaps it won’t be quite that simple.’’
Peter nodded. ‘‘The town is growing daily. I brought a full ship of men and women to the city just ahead of you. All were most anxious to make their fortunes. Nevertheless, Mr. Paxton, if I can be of help in your search—’’
‘‘I have hired some men to help in searching through the town,’’ Paxton interrupted. ‘‘Although I understand there is another town a few miles away. I believe it’s called Dyea.’’
‘‘Yes,’’ Peter said thoughtfully. ‘‘I have friends there who are running a small trading post for me. I would imagine they very well might know your fiancé, especially if she’s to be found in Dyea. There aren’t a great many women up this way, and ladies of quality seldom pass unnoticed. What’s her name?’’
‘‘Grace Hawkins,’’ Paxton replied. ‘‘She hails from Chicago and is probably traveling with a woman by the name of Pierce. A Miss Karen Pierce.’’
———
Jacob knew his father was up to no good when he announced that he would spend a second night with the family. They had just moved into the new building, and his father made the pretense of wanting to be sure that everyone was settled in before heading back up the trail. Something in the situation just didn’t seem right with Jacob. He could sense his father’s agitation—could feel his discomfort.
‘‘What’s wrong with Pa?’’ Leah asked him in a hushed whisper.
Everyone headed off to their beds with Leah, Jacob, and Bill being relegated to one room while Karen, Grace, and Doris took another. Bill announced that he’d stoke up the fire in the main living area before joining his children for the night. This gave Jacob time to ponder what his father might be up to.
‘‘I don’t know what’s going on,’’ Jacob admitted to his sister. ‘‘But he is acting strange—has been ever since coming back. Maybe he’s just worried about the weather.’’
‘‘Maybe,’’ Leah replied, hurrying to bury herself under the wool blankets on her cot.
Their father entered the room rather expectantly, almost as if he anticipated their questions. When Leah and Jacob only watched him, however, Bill Barringer took the opportunity to question them.
‘‘Have you been minding yourselves for Miss Pierce?’’
Leah nodded from her bed. ‘‘Yes, Pa. I like Miss Pierce a lot. She’s teachin’ me the same kinds of things Mama used to show me.’’
He smiled benevolently on his youngest and turned to Jacob. ‘‘And what of you, son?’’
Jacob tensed. He knew from having overheard his father’s conversation with Karen that he would be wondering about the fights. ‘‘I’m doing my best, Pa.’’
Bill nodded. ‘‘Miss Pierce tells me there’ve been some fights.’’
Jacob looked to the floor as he moved to sit on the side of his cot. ‘‘Yes, sir.’’
‘‘Well, she doesn’t understand how it is with men. Just try to keep out of trouble. You have a sister who needs you to stay in one piece. Men up here are mighty tight strung. The gold fever is keeping them at odds with everyone, and those that can’t put together the wherewithal to get north are going to be particularly surly.’’
Jacob looked up to meet his father’s eyes. ‘‘I’m not in any trouble, Pa. The fights are usually because I let my temper get the best of me.’’
‘‘You know what your ma would say about that?’’
Jacob nodded. ‘‘She’d tell me to turn the other cheek. To put a guard over my mouth.’’
‘‘Exactly,’’ Bill replied. ‘‘Things will probably seem to get a whole lot worse before they get better.’’ He sat down and began pulling off his boots. ‘‘Sometimes folks do things that others have a hard time understanding. Sometimes things don’t make much sense and it leaves angry feelings between people who care deeply about one another.’’
Jacob knew his father was talking about something more than his daily fisticuffs with other local boys.
‘‘Sometimes, without even meaning to hurt their loved ones, people do things that they have to do. Important things that will make it better for everyone in the long run.’’
‘‘What kind of things, Pa?’’ Leah asked from her bed.
Bill scratched his beard and pulled off his remaining boot. Jacob could see that his father’s hard work had worn holes in the heels and toes of his socks.
‘‘Well, princess, it’s like your mama used to say. Sometimes God sends things our way to bless us and sometimes they come to teach us. Some of those teachin’ times are hard. They might even cause us pain. Sometimes they take people away from us—people we love and care about.’’
‘‘Like Mama?’’ Leah asked.
Jacob wished they’d both just drop the subject. Thinking of his mother only caused him greater grief. Some of his fights had come about because of derogatory statements made about his mother. But more often than not, they referenced his father.
‘‘Look,’’ their father stated, getting to his feet. ‘‘I’m going to smoke me a bowl.’’ He picked up his pipe and smiled at them both. ‘‘Your ma would be proud of you children. I’m proud too. Just never forget that.’’
He left them then, closing the door behind them. Jacob reached for the lantern, but before he could turn it down, Leah sat up in bed. Her eyes locked on his.
‘‘He’s leavin’ us, isn’t he?’’
Jacob nodded. He felt a lump in his throat that refused to allow him speech. His sister had spoken the truth—an undeniable truth. Their father was leaving them here—leaving them with Miss Pierce and going north.
He blew out the light quickly, not wanting his sister to see his tears. Balling his hands into fists, he punched at the pillow as if to arrange it into proper shape for his comfort. In truth, he was beating out the anger in his soul—an anger that was threatening to eat him alive.
———
Karen found the coals in the stove were just barely putting off heat by the time she roused herself to prepare breakfast. Adding wood and tenderly nurturing the fire back to life, she grabbed a bucket of water and placed it atop the stove. At least the water hadn’t frozen like it had all those nights in the tent. The new building would afford them a much more comfortable existence, and once her father made it back to Dyea, she’d simply convince him to stay on with them.
Finding it still dark outside, Karen lighted a lamp and went to work measuring out oats for their morning cereal. It was as she set the table with bowls and spoons that she noticed the folded piece of paper addressed to her attention.
Puzzled, Karen put down the bowls and reached for the missive. Unfolding it, she found herself completely overwhelmed by the news of Bill’s departure.
It might seem unfeeling, she read halfway down the page, that I should leave my children behind, but you don’t know what the trails are like. I’ve seen people die—kids too. I wouldn’t want that for Jacob or Leah. I’ll send for them as soon as I can. Please don’t be angry and take it out on the kids. I love them, and I know you’ve come to care for them in your own way. I’ll write when I get settled, and I promise to pay you for your trouble.
He added no personal notes for the children, and Karen couldn’t help but wonder if he’d left similar letters for each of them. She glanced around but found nothing. Perhaps if he had, he would have left them in the bedroom he had been sharing with Jacob and Leah. She thought to go searching but decided against it. They would have to know the truth sooner or later. If they said nothing to indicate their father had told them of his departure, Karen would remain silent and save the news for a more private moment.
She quickly refolded the letter and put it in her pocket. A feeling of despair washed over her as the reality of the situation began to sink in. She was now mother to two motherless and fatherless children. Jacob, already angry and unreachable, would not brook this desertion easily. And poor little Leah, who adored her father and mourned her mother, would be devastated. Karen wanted to cry for them both. How could the man have been so heartless?
‘‘I thought I heard you out here. You should have woke me,’’ Grace said, tying an apron around her waist.
Karen smiled, but her heart wasn’t in it. ‘‘You look positively domestic, Grace.’’
Grace smiled. ‘‘I actually like the life. I used to feel so completely useless back home. This seems much more fitting. Why should I have servants when I take such joy in doing things for myself? Mother, of course, would be horrified, but I love it all, even the cleaning.’’ She pulled her hair back and tied it with a ribbon before adding, ‘‘Wasn’t it kind of Mr. Barringer to stay another day in order to see us settled in?’’
Karen nodded and turned quickly back to the oatmeal. She had no desire to broach the subject of Bill’s departure with Grace. She couldn’t even decide how to tell the children, much less announce to Doris and Grace that she was now fully responsible for the care of two children. ‘‘I was just setting the table.’’
‘‘Then I’ll finish it,’’ Grace replied as Jacob and Leah emerged from their shared room.
‘‘Where’s Pa?’’ Leah asked, looking around the room.
Karen met her expression, then let her gaze travel to where Jacob stood with a look of stoic indifference on his face. I can’t tell them, she thought. I can’t hurt them like this. Better to let them think he’s simply gone back to work on the trail.
‘‘He left early,’’ she finally said. At least it wasn’t a lie.
Leah’s face paled as she turned to Jacob. Karen could see the boy’s jaw clench as if in rage. He put his arm around Leah, then met Karen’s eyes. Karen trembled without knowing why. They knew. Either Bill had told them of his plans or he had left them similar letters, but either way—they understood what his absence meant.
She pulled the letter from her pocket. ‘‘Did your father give you any idea of what is in this letter?’’
Leah shook her head. ‘‘He didn’t say much last night.’’ Her voice sounded frightened and uneasy.
Karen wanted to put her mind at ease but knew the contents of the letter would do nothing of the sort.
‘‘Your father has gone and asked me to take care of you until he’s settled,’’ Karen finally stated. She looked to the letter as if to read it, then decided against it. Glancing up, she could see the anger in Jacob’s eyes.
‘‘He’s gone?’’ Grace questioned. ‘‘Do you mean permanently?’’
Karen had expected the question from Leah or Jacob, but not from Grace. She turned to her friend and nodded. ‘‘He felt the trail was too dangerous.’’
Grace nodded, seeming to understand that her reaction would affect the children’s reaction. ‘‘Well, I suppose that must have been very hard for him,’’ she said softly. ‘‘What a difficult choice to make.’’
Karen gave Grace a smile of gratitude before turning back to the children. ‘‘I want you both to know that I won’t allow any harm to come to you, if I have any say about it. We can make better plans once my own father returns to Dyea, but for now, just know that you have a home wherever I have a home.’’
Leah burst into tears and came to wrap her arms around Karen. ‘‘What if he doesn’t come back?’’ she cried.
‘‘He’ll come back. He promised to in his letter,’’ Karen said, trying to sound reassuring. Her confidence faded, however, as she met Jacob’s eyes. They both knew it was a lie. Bill Barringer might never again return. The leaving had been the hard part. Staying away would require little effort.