CHAPTER 157

Before that, the renovation is complete. There’s a new comedians’ table. It’s a few feet closer to the bar than it used to be. Noam receives an email,

Hey Noam. Louis CK here. I wanted to share some feelings I have about the current state of the Comedy Cellar. It’s up to you to decide if it matters what I think because it is your club, but in either case here’s what I think. I completely understand your reasoning for hiring a chef and therefore needing a bigger kitchen. That makes sense and it meets your needs as an owner. And I can see that a smaller back bar area is an unavoidable consequence of the bigger kitchen. The problem is that you’ve completely killed the comics’ table. I cringe every time I sit back there. The table is butted up against the end of the bar. Last night there was a couple sitting in the two stools that loom over the comics’ table and I sat there with Sam. Both parties were miserable. We could hear every word they said and vice versa. That’s the problem when it’s quiet. When it’s crowded on weekends it’s untenable. Everyone is on top of us. There is no safe place. Add to that the new policy that seems to be that customers wait at the bar area to go to the show room. They gawk at us as we eat our food. The outcome of this is that I hesitate to go to the club anymore and I absolutely don’t go on weekends. I have plenty of weekend nights that I get restless and consider popping in but a huge, huge part of that past pleasure is gone. That we had that corner. As long as you survived the gauntlet of MacDougal Street, the crowd outside and the Olive Tree you were safe at the comics’ table. That is no longer the case. Besides the fact that when I haven’t had dinner I now choose between going to eat or dropping in for a set when I used to be able to combine both. That accounted for a huge amount of times I’ve done sets there. I know food is coming back but I am not eager to eat at that cramped little table two feet away from fifty fans or a couple trying to connect. Chris Rock has said these same things to me and he’s even more upset about it. As he told me he told you, ‘you’re lucky there’s nowhere else’. Whether you want to continue to rely on that luck is up to you. It seems to me that there are many solutions to this problem. If I were you I’d create a boundary, a new stronger boundary, and incorporate the end of the bar into the comics’ area. Some comics like to sit at the bar when there’s room. Maybe create a rope line at about the fourth stool from the back wall of the bar and give that tiny table more breathing room and just call all that whole space ‘comics only’ bar and table. You might lose a little money but I really doubt it would be significant. That’s up to you. Maybe you have a better solution or maybe you like it the way it is. Again, it’s your club, which you don’t need me to point out. I’m just giving you a data point which is that the current state of the club already has significantly lowered the amount of times I would have popped in since it changed and that my willingness to show up there continues to erode. How much that matters is your business. I love the Cellar. It’s been a big part of my life for decades. I’m grateful for the love and support I’ve gotten from you and your family over the years. That’s why I’m bothering to write.

Take care, Louis.