My dreams were nearly realized when Temujin, now known as Genghis Khan, had united all the tribes. He was my greatest achievement, the human host who would change history and reshape the world. It was then that I faltered. I should have ordered Temujin to build that new world with what he already owned. Instead, he wanted more, and I did not stop him. I was greedy as well. Together, we had built the greatest army the world has ever seen, and we could not stop ourselves from using it.
Roen and Sonya had a quick lunch at a local diner down the street. He was positively giddy spending time with someone he considered the most beautiful girl he’d ever met. Even better, Sonya was so easy to get along with. He peppered her with questions about the Prophus and the war, and she gave him honest answers, never making him feel foolish for asking. Throughout the entire meal, he couldn’t help grinning. They returned to the safe house and relaxed on the couch in the living area.
Roen’s stomach was gratified after many weeks of eating Tao’s prescribed rabbit food diet. Tao had objected to almost all the dishes Roen wanted. Thankfully, Sonya gave him a pass and he pigged out. He knew that Tao would make him pay for this dietary indiscretion later on, but for now, he just burped contently like a sloth and began to doze off.
“Not nappy time yet, buddy.” Sonya nudged him as she took out a manila envelope. “We have some super-secret agent stuff to talk about.”
Roen perked up. He liked the sound of that. This whole alien-in-his-body thing was starting to sound better and better. First, he got to hang out with a hot girl, and now he was going to be James Bond.
He would have to go shopping for a new wardrobe to fit his new role. Roen imagined a long trench coat like Neo, with cool sunglasses and a big gun hanging at his waist. Maybe he could have a secret weapons locker built in his closet, or by the laundry hamper. Or better yet, it could be a compartment that opens once he turned some hidden lever. Turn the faucet left two turns, pull Brave New World on the shelf, tap the alarm clock twice; bam, machine gun! Would he need to learn to tango for infiltrating enemy galas?
You are an idiot sometimes. Do you know that? This is not a Hollywood movie and we are not taking direction from CIA for Dummies. And being an agent is not the same as being a spy. You have no idea what clandestine work is like. You might not be suited for it.
“Why not? You won’t know until I try.”
First of all, it is tedious, and you have the attention span of a fruit fly.
Roen was about to protest and then shrugged. A guy couldn’t argue with the truth.
Second of all, a good spy is a good actor and liar. You are terrible at both.
“I am not that bad!”
Look, Roen, I have seen you play poker and lie to your friends. You are bad at both. You start breathing heavily, you avoid eye contact, and you fidget. Trust me. Everyone picks up on that. Why do you think you always come out of those games broke? For now, focus on your physical deficiencies and the technical knowledge necessary to be an agent. The rest will come in time. We can worry about the finer points of subterfuge later.
“So.” Sonya curtsied flamboyantly. “Welcome to Sonya’s Crash Course School of Secret Agents. Congratulations, you survived your first morning. Here is your merit badge and cookie. Tell him, Bob, what does he win?”
“Tao, I think I love her. She’s hot and a geek.”
She is so far out of your league that you are not even playing the same sport.
“Can I ask her out? Is there some rule about agents dating other agents?”
You have had many bad ideas over the past month. That one is the worst of all.
She handed him the envelope and the small black box with a flourish. “Welcome to the network.”
Roen took the items and looked them over. This must be one of those secret agent box-that-wasn’t-a-box things. On the top was a white button with large lettering on top saying You Break It You Buy It. He had a sudden urge to push the button, but stopped himself. “What does it mean?” he asked.
“It means,” Sonya said, “you are officially a novice agent and will be on active duty. You didn’t think the Prophus were in the business of handing out free personal training, did you?”
“What? Tao, you never told me this. What happened to no strings attached?”
I never said that. I did tell you though, that you would be called to duty very soon. You have to earn your keep somehow.
Roen’s heart began to hammer in his chest, his feel-good warm fuzzies disappearing in a puff of smoke. His hands shook as he held up the envelope and tried to see through it. “What’s in it?” he gulped. “Do I have to kill somebody or something?”
Sonya walked up and gave him a hug. Roen inhaled her sweet scent of apricots and citrus. She pulled back, took out her pistol, placed it in his lap, and smiled, none too sweetly. “This evening actually. You need to assassinate the President of the Philippines.”
She laughed at the wide-eyed look of panic on his face and shook her head. “Gullible, aren’t you?” She took back the pistol and winked. “I wouldn’t worry too much. First missions are softballs, and in your case, I made sure you’re playing t-ball. Why don’t you read through the briefing? When you’re done, we can go over it. And do hurry; it’s time-sensitive.”
“Time-sensitive? You mean this stuff will be out of date if I read too slowly?”
She rolled her eyes. “It means the packet combusts into a little ball of fire in four hours or when you press that button, so you better start reading.”
He dropped the envelope as if it had bitten him. “You gave me a bomb?”
“It’s a fail-safe, Roen.” She shrugged. “Just open it.”
How is that for James Bond-like? This message will self-destruct in ten…
“Shut up, Tao. And that’s Inspector Gadget, anyway.”
Touchy right now, hmm?
Roen wasn’t sure what made him more apprehensive; that he was now involved in this crazy world of danger, or that this packet could blow up in his hands. His once safe – albeit boring – life had just crashed around him, and all the warmth and appreciation he had for Tao for helping him with his health disappeared.
But this was what he was training for, right? This was what the Prophus wanted him to do, to complete their objectives. They didn’t give him access to this incredible gym just so he could turn his life around and look for his inner six-pack abs. Sonya wasn’t here for his personal betterment, nor was she here to make him feel better about himself. This was all done so he could become one of them, a Prophus agent.
What did Tao say that night when the Genjix jerk jumped him? The Prophus are waging a war for humanity’s sake. Roen Tan had become a soldier in that war. His life would no longer be a wasted one, sitting in a cubicle, working at a job he hated. Before Tao, the world didn’t care if Roen existed or not. He didn’t matter. And now that the chance to make a difference was lying in an envelope in front of him, his new reality hit him like a bucket of cold water.
“I can make a difference,” he said under his breath. He stared at the packet and picked it up. Roen took a deep breath and ripped the corner off. “So be it, let’s get started.” There was no use in shirking his responsibilities. He might as well just face them head on.
Sonya stared at him, a small smile on her face. She walked over to the cabinet, grabbed two lowball glasses, poured some scotch into each glass, and handed one to him. Roen clinked glasses with her and downed the drink in one gulp, his eyes glued to the contents of the envelope.
The documents reminded him of the welcome packet he received when he first started his desk job. Besides a rather generic letter welcoming him to the network, there were several pages of security guidelines that he had to read through. Another document had his network email address, ID and password, and several security codes he had to memorize. There was also a passport and driver’s license for a Hamilton Lee, a smartphone, and a map of Chicago with several red circles drawn all over it.
That is your fake identity in case you are wondering.
“This is so cool.”
You are easily amused. Memorize all of this by tonight.
“What? All of it?”
Of course. You need to start using an undetectable alias.
“Gahh… it’s like homework.”
You think the life of an agent is all fun and games?
Roen finished reading the first set of documents and picked up the second, which was only a page long. It was his first mission. The details were sparse. It instructed him to reconnoiter an area off the coast of Lake Michigan for five nights. He flipped the page over and looked up. “That’s it? This is my mission, to stare at a patch of pond for a week? What kind of assignment is this?”
Sonya chuckled. “Like I said, t-ball. It’s a good way to get your feet wet, no pun intended. Do you have any questions?”
Roen put down the papers and stared at the scattered items on the coffee table. “I don’t know. This is so much so soon. I feel rushed. Is this how fast the Prophus always move?”
Sonya shook her head. “You’re a bit of a unique case.” She knelt down in front of him and held his hands. “I know this is all very overwhelming, but you joined us at a particularly important time within the war. You have to understand, the Prophus have a small army of agents and all those agents would give up an arm to be a host. Some of our people have spent years fighting for the cause, hoping one day to earn a Quasing. They usually choose crème de la crème for that privilege, handpicking from the best military, scientific, and political minds. You’re very lucky to have Tao, but you’re behind the curve, so we need to get you up to speed.”
Roen nodded solemnly. “I’ll do my best.”
Sonya patted him on the arm. “I know you will. Just try not to get killed until your best is good enough.” She stood up and made another exaggerated curtsey. “There’s one more thing. And Bob, what else does Roen Tan win? A new car!” She tossed him a set of keys.
Roen couldn’t help it – and Tao would most likely never let him live it down as long as they were together – but he jumped up and down, and screamed like a little girl who had just gotten a pony for her birthday. Ever since that night with Omer, Roen had abandoned his car. Tao had informed him later on that a Prophus cleanup crew had picked it up and sold it at an auction. Since then, he had been taking the bus and train around the city. Roen hated public transportation. Now, he got a new car!
“Call it an initiation present.” Sonya grinned. “You want to see it? It’s been sitting in the garage all morning.”
Images of James Bond’s Aston Martin flashed through his head as he scampered to the garage faster than he ever jogged. Maybe it was a Porsche. Or a convertible Mercedes or BMW with built-in machine guns. And flamethrowers. And oil slicks like in Spy Hunter. He ran to the loading dock with Sonya close behind, swung the door open, and gasped. He turned to Sonya, paused, and then looked back at the car.
“You got me a brown Fiat hatchback?” he stammered. “My old car was worth twice that! I didn’t even know they made Fiats in this country.”
The Prophus own quite a few shares of Fiat. We can get them at cost.
“Color not to your liking?” She was having way too much fun at his expense.
“Yeah, poop brown sucks for a car color. I thought I’d get something nicer now that I’m an agent.”
Sonya shrugged. “Sorry, budget constraints. Besides, the point of a secret agent is to blend in with your surroundings. Driving around in a Ferrari would make you stand out like a sore thumb. Besides, can you even drive stick?” That shut him up.
She gave him one more pat on the butt as she put on her jacket and walked toward the door. Before she left, Sonya turned and grinned again. “One more thing, just a little piece of advice. Make sure you have all that information memorized before you push that button. And when you do push it, don’t be near anything flammable. Well, enjoy your ride and good luck on your mission tomorrow. Try not to die.”
And then she was gone.