Cassie didn’t bother getting up to go in to work. There was no point. She couldn’t concentrate if her life depended on it.
She tossed and turned all night. She hadn’t seen Eric since he walked out of the bedroom the evening before. She’d spent part of her time worried about him, the other part furious at him for making her worry.
She hated that she’d hurt him, but she truly believed she had been doing them both a favor. She couldn’t be with a man like him. A man so much like her father.
“Never think you can change a man, Cassandra. How they are is how they will always be.”
Her mother’s voice rang clear in her mind. As an adult, she could see how biased her mom had been while giving her only child that advice. But that didn’t make it any less true for Cassie now. She was a grown woman, but in many ways, her heart was still that of the twelve- year-old girl she had been.
She knew she loved him though, despite herself. If she didn’t, hurting him wouldn’t have felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest.
Sure, they could undoubtedly make a go of it for a while. But when things became too familiar, too routine, where would he be? She knew where she’d be: right here, broken-hearted and filled with regret.
Would it last a month?
Or would they have years together and possibly a marriage and a family before he grew bored and took off without so much as a backward glance?
Cassie groaned. She missed him so much already.
She had been tempted to call his house to see if he was there. The only thing that stopped her was the fact that she’d have to call Julia to ask for his number. She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. There she was, losing her mind over a man whose phone number she didn’t know.
She finally stopped staring at the phone like the loser she was and dragged herself out of bed.
“Morning,” Steven said when she walked into dining room. His smile quickly faded. “What’s wrong with you?”
With her hair standing up all over her head and the bags that were surely under her eyes, she knew she looked pretty rough. And she honestly didn’t give a shit.
She flopped down in the chair across from him. “I’m fine, I just didn’t sleep well.”
Ann walked out of the kitchen with a steaming cup of coffee. “Wow, Cassie. Nice look.”
She would have flipped her off if she had the energy. “Thanks.” She suddenly realized her mistake in staying home. There was no way in hell she could deal with Ann. It was very likely Cassie would be in jail for assault and battery by the end of the day.
Normally she hated to be rude, but she didn’t care how it sounded when she said, “Please tell me you’ve got plans today, Ann.”
Ann frowned. “Why?”
“Because I’ll be here.”
Ann just looked at her.
“And I’d prefer you not be.”
“Well, that wasn’t completely out of line,” Ann said, offended.
Steven chimed in. “I think Cassie needs some alone time today, that’s all.”
“That’s what she should have said then instead of — ”
“Blah, blah, blah. Are you going out or not?”
Ann just looked at her.
Cassie raised her eyebrows.
“Cassie,” Steven said sternly, “there’s no need to be rude.”
She looked at him. “Trust me, being rude is the least of my concerns right now.”
“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, peering into her face.
“She probably had a fight with Eric,” Ann said. “Still, that’s no reason to take it out on — ”
“Is that it?” Steven asked.
“No.” It wasn’t a lie. They hadn’t fought exactly. “We didn’t fight.”
Steven watched her silently for a few moments. “Ann, maybe you’d like a day of beauty at one of the salons here.”
Ann perked up. “Ooh, like a day spa?”
Steven nodded. “You can get your hair and nails done, get a massage … ”
“The works,” Cassie said. “Whatever keeps you gone the longest.”
Ann glared at her.
Cassie gave her a tight smile.
“Go get ready,” Steven said. “I’ll drop you off before I go to the conference.”
Ann looked at Cassie as she leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you.” She disappeared into the hallway, calling back, “I won’t be long!”
“After I drop her off, I’ll be back.”
Cassie frowned. “Why?”
“We need to talk.”
It was all she could do not to roll her eyes. Shit. Nothing good ever came of someone saying, “We need to talk.” That was what she’d told Eric at lunch the other day and look how that turned out. He was gone. She didn’t even know if she would ever see him again.
She looked down at the floor. Something red peeking out from under the dining table caught her eye. She leaned to the side to look at it and saw that it was one of Tip’s squeaky toys. She quickly sat up, staring straight ahead.
“What?” Steven glanced under the table before looking at Cassie again. He smiled. “Let me guess. You took a good look at the floor and you’re horrified about how long it’s been since you vacuumed.” He shook his head and chuckled.
A lump formed in her throat. Julia was right. She had changed. A week ago, Steven would’ve been correct. Vacuuming would have, indeed, been her first thought after looking at her messy dining room floor. Now it was the furthest thing from her mind.
He would never believe the truth if she told him.
Screw the vacuuming, I miss my dog.
She was really losing it now. Screw vacuuming? When would she have ever thought such an absurd thing before? She tilted her head. And had she actually thought of Tip as hers?
She groaned. God, she needed helped. She needed Eric. It felt like forever since he’d touched her, kissed her.
“How long has it been?”
“Too long.”
“A week?”
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, what are we talking about?”
“Vacuuming?”
“Right,” Cassie said. “I haven’t vacuumed since Friday.”
Steven’s eyebrows shot up. “That’s an eternity for you.”
“I know, right?” She forced a laugh. Were they really talking about vacuuming? Eric was right. Theirs was one boring ass relationship. Cassie laughed again, this time for real.
“What?” Steven asked, smiling.
“Nothing.” She wondered if she could have a conversation with Eric about vacuuming. Well, she could, she just wondered how long it would last. He’d probably warn her to knock it off before he shut her up himself. And then he would find various delicious ways of doing just that.
Cassie warmed all over as she chewed her bottom lip. Oh yeah, she doubted they would have ever discussed housekeeping chores for long.
Steven snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Cassie.”
She jumped.
“Where do you keep going?”
You don’t want to know, Steve. “I just have a lot on my mind.” That was certainly the truth.
Steven looked sympathetic. “The wedding?”
“Uh, yes. Marriage is a huge commitment.”
He nodded. “And I never thought you’d get married.”
That caught her interest. “You didn’t?”
“Because of your parents.” He looked past her. “What went wrong … ”
“Yes, well, I didn’t plan on it.”
“And out of all the men in the world, he’s the one that made you want to go for it?” Steven shook his head. “I don’t get it.”
That riled her up but good. “This wasn’t the plan, Steven. You think I wanted to fall for someone like him? He’s completely wrong for me in every single way. There’s almost zero chance we could actually make a relationship work. You think I’d choose that?”
“So you realize that this probably won’t last?”
“How could I not?” she asked in disbelief.
“Then there’s still hope.”
“For what?”
“Ready,” Ann called, walking into the living room.
“I’ll be back,” Steven said softly before leaving with Ann.
Cassie’s breath caught in her throat. Was he actually going to tell her he wanted her back? No. She wouldn’t jump to conclusions.
But what if he did? What would she do now that she was more confused than ever? She dropped her head into her hands. She knew what she would do.
And she hated herself for it.
• • •
Eric opened the door, squinting at the bright sunlight that shone in his face. “What the hell?”
“Thanks for only taking fifteen damn minutes to answer the door.” Julia pushed her way into the house and bent down to pet Tip.
“Well, come in, please.” Eric shut the door and shuffled into the kitchen.
Julia followed. “You actually took time to make coffee before you let me in?” She punched him in the shoulder.
“Take her down a notch, Punchy. It’s on a timer.”
“Oh, in that case, pour me some.”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “Why are you here?”
“Ian told me you were home this morning when I talked to him. He said you stayed here last night.”
“I do live here.” He handed her a cup of coffee.
She took it from him. “I know that, smart ass. What I’m trying to understand is why you’re here rather than at Cassie’s.”
He sipped his coffee. “That’s the last place I want to be.” He left the kitchen with her fast on his heels.
“Why? What happened?”
He ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t want to talk about this. He looked at Julia. She was bound to find out from Cassie anyway. Besides, Julia was practically family. To Cassie, he suspected, as much as to himself.
He sat down at his dining table. “We had a,” he tried to find the right word, “a disagreement.”
Julia squinted. “Does this have anything to do with lunch?”
He feigned ignorance. “What are you talking about?”
Julia sat down across from him. “Obviously, Cassie was pissed about something.”
No use lying now. He sighed as he scratched his stubble free jaw. “She decided she wanted to end this … whatever it is we’re doing.”
She sipped her coffee. “But you only have a couple of days before Steven and Ann leave.”
He put his hands up. “Hey, I said the same thing.”
Julia was quiet for several moments. Then she said, “Okay, let me talk to her.” She stood up.
Eric shook his head. “Don’t bother. It really is over.” He looked up at Julia, giving her a sad smile.
She frowned as she dropped back into her chair. She covered his hand with her own. “What happened?”
Before he could think better of it, he unburdened himself of his feelings. He related the exchange to Julia. The exchange. That’s what he had to call it in order to distance himself from it. He couldn’t very well refer to it as what it was, ‘the one and only time he’d had his heart ripped out and stomped on,’ and still pretend to be unaffected.
Not that he was doing a bang up job of appearing unaffected now.
He knew he was blubbering and his damn eyes were watering. He couldn’t believe he was getting teary again over some chick he had met only a few days before. He was grateful to come to the end of the story.
Julia shook her head as soon as he was done talking. “You can’t give up on her.”
“It’s what she wants.”
“You do realize she was lying, right?”
Eric arched his eyebrow. “She sucks at lying so, uh, yeah, I think I do.”
“Then what’s the problem? She cares about you even if she was too scared to admit it.” Julia frowned. “My God, what happened to your balls, man? Go after your woman.”
Eric smiled. “My balls are intact.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’m not scared to go after her — ”
“Then go.”
“There’s just no point because she’s already made her feelings clear.”
“You said it yourself, she was lying,” Julia cried.
“No, she’s already made her feelings clear about her fears. She’s still too scared to go for the unsafe bet. That’s what I am. I’ll never be Steven.”
“Thank goodness.”
“Tell me about it.”
They smiled at each other.
“You can’t give up that easily. Unless you really think it’s hopeless?”
He shook his head. “The only bright spot in this whole mess is the fact that she’s over her ex. That at least gives me some sort of chance in the future.” He leaned back in his chair. “Way, way in the future. When the thought of being with me doesn’t send her running.”
He rubbed his face. “You know that family emergency she wanted me to fake?”
Julia nodded.
“It may not be as much of a lie as we thought.”
“Your dad needs you?”
He shrugged. “If you want to call it that.”
“And you’re gonna do it?”
“Thinking about it.”
“So that’s why you shaved.” She sipped her coffee. “What about the glamorous life of tending bar?”
Eric chuckled. “I think I’ll miss it.”
“Shut up,” Julia said, smiling.
“I’m serious. It wasn’t bad, but I’ve had a nice break from my life for a while. It’s time to get back to it.”
Julia’s smile faded. “That means you won’t try to convince Cassie to give a relationship a chance first?”
“Convince her? I don’t even plan on seeing her.”
“Eric,” Julia groaned.
“It’s better that way.” He stood up. “I’ll go over and get the rest of my things after I drop Tip off at Ian’s.” He picked up his coffee. “Cassie should be at work by the time I get there and the ex will be at his conference. Ann should be the only one around.”
“Great,” Julia mumbled.
“Ann’s the least of my worries.” He sipped the coffee. “I’ll go in, grab my things. It’ll take a few minutes, tops.” The only thing that was keeping him from flying apart at the seams was knowing he wouldn’t have to face Cassie one last time. And the lack of Steven was always a good thing.
He doubted he would be able to handle seeing either one of them.