AFTER I BEGAN TO WRITE, I shared my ideas with Damon Dash while visiting him one afternoon at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Although Damon and I had been casually acquainted over the past three years, there was a lot about me he had never known. I started to tell him about my life and why I wanted to write about it, and his face froze with shock. I was still unsure about the idea of writing and didn’t know if my life story would appeal to other people, but as I began to tell it to those around me, their reactions said it all. Damon immediately called Fox Searchlight, and the very next day, a Fox executive met with us and brought director Ben Younger, of Boiler Room, to meet me and hear my story. Everyone was fascinated and sure that this could be translated into a motion picture.
Soon I was telling the story to Shakim Compere, manager and business partner to Queen Latifah. He, too, was amazed and convinced that my story would make a good motion picture. Not too long after telling Shakim, I repeated my story to well-known music executive Andre Harrell while sitting poolside at the St. Regis Hotel in Los Angeles. Again I was met with enthusiasm, but it was Andre who insisted that my life story would be better served as a book. I was doubtful and afraid; writing a book seemed such an intimidating idea. But every time I saw Andre after our talk, usually at the Four Seasons’ popular Sunday brunch, he would insist, “You need to write that book.”
I was telling some of the most influential men in the entertainment business about my life and my idea of writing about it, and they were unanimous in their opinion. It was necessary to write my story because I had something to say, and it should he heard by young women everywhere. I became more confident and convinced I could make this happen, with a little help from my “friends.”
The following December, I was called to do a spread for Smooth magazine’s “Hollywood Swimsuit” issue, in connection to my appearance in A Man Apart. I took the opportunity to briefly mention my upcoming project and a bit about my life, hoping it would start a small buzz that would eventually get the ball rolling. Every night I would sit up in bed and go over my plan. There was a way for me to harness the pain and mistakes in my life to warn others to stay away from the lure and seduction that had gripped me. This marked the beginning of a new era in my life, and suddenly the pain of my past didn’t haunt me as much. I could finally see my five-year plan, just as Xzibit had seen his during our fateful Miami trip. By the time Christmas came around, I could see a definite change on the horizon.
In February of 2004, the “Hollywood Swimsuit” issue of Smooth magazine hit newsstands. Other magazines—Vibe and XXL—followed. The shoots were fun, but more important, I used the exposure as a way to launch another business. My partner, Smart Girl Productions, and I trademarked and incorporated the term Superhead, which I learned has a different connotation abroad—a positive one, affiliated with higher learning, especially in the UK—and formed an apparel line bearing the name.
Taking ownership of my life felt good. Instead of hiding from my past, I wanted to face it and show other women that no matter how one’s life may have started out, it’s never too late to grow and to change. Ironically, my darkest days would be the fuel for this new fire in my life. Finally, I wasn’t dependent on others for a purpose and would soon learn that wealth is internal. Even with the fast-paced flashiness of my past, I was never comfortable in my own skin. That’s what mattered most—not the things that adorned my skin, but how I felt in it.