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God, let me be enough. Please.
~ Rachel
“Shoot!” Andy’s high command pierced Rachel’s panic.
She sighted down the barrel, aiming for the bear’s exposed chest. But her finger refused to squeeze, her heart booming in her chest. Images flashed before her vision. Blood spraying across a wood floor, staining the yellow skirt a bright crimson. The same life-blood running through her mother’s hands.
“Ma!”
She jerked herself back from the memory. Found the bear’s chest again as it advanced closer with each racing heartbeat. Closed her eyes tight and squeezed the trigger.
The explosion knocked her backward. The bear roared again.
A second shot rent the air, stilling the roar like a door slammed on the sound.
She forced her eyes open, found the place where the beast had stood. Dropped her gaze to the ground. A massive pile of brown fur lay in a heap.
Andy blew out a long breath, and she turned to him. He looked so young standing there with his hair poking on end, a smoking rifle still clutched in both hands. How could he be the stronger of them?
She wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and they both stared at the beast that would have mutilated them if not for Andy’s bravery. “I’m not sure what I did to deserve you, son.” She swallowed against the knot in her throat. “I’m proud of you.”
He put a clumsy hand around her waist and patted. “It’s all right, Ma. I’d best get him bled out.” The voice of experience.
They worked together on the job, leaving what they could to finish in the morning. Finally, they washed up and laid weary bodies into their bedrolls. She should have sent Andy to bed earlier. At least he could sleep a bit longer in the morning. They’d need to finish preparing the meat and the hide for travel before they could start back on the trail.
The Grant brothers would get a head start on them. Maybe even make enough distance that she and Andy wouldn’t find them again.
But then another thought made her eyes pop open. Had they heard the gunshots? Surely they had, since they were just over the ridge and down the slope. Would they come see what happened? Had they already? The men would be foolish to attempt the path in the darkness, although surely they would investigate come daylight.
The thought gnawed at her sleep. Her hand rested on the stock of her loaded rifle for most of the remaining hours before dawn.
~ ~ ~
BY THE TIME RACHEL and her son had the meat and the hide prepared and tied on their horses with the other supplies, half the morning had passed. Which meant they’d have to push the horses faster than she liked to catch the Grant party. They hadn’t come to investigate as she’d imagined. Was late night gunfire so common in this wilderness it provoked no curiosity? A frightening thought.
And the thought of what lay ahead only tightened the fear coiling in her chest. More ferocious animal attacks, more dangerous precipices—more men, likely more dangerous than Seth Grant and his brother.
Guilt and fear weighed heavy on her. She had no choice.
For Andy’s sake, maybe they did need the safety of numbers. The safety that joining the Grant brothers would provide. Her son had been forced to grow up far too fast already due to his father’s addictions. She had to stop expecting him to take the place of a full-grown man.
She’d failed him the night before. And she couldn’t let her own shortcomings put him in danger like that again.
They took turns riding, then walking while the horses cooled, then riding again. After a short break mid-afternoon, they remounted and nudged the horses into a jog as they charted the base of a mountain. She’d seen signs the men had traveled this way. At least, evidence someone had ridden this way recently.
As the sun sank to the mountains on their left and turned the sky crimson and orange, the sound of male voices ahead made her signal a stop.
“I hear ’em.” Andy’s low murmur behind her drowned out the noise she strained to hear.
She scanned the rocks and shrubs ahead. The men might be planning to set-up camp among the underbrush.
She motioned Andy forward and guided them off to the side. The last thing she wanted was to barge into their camp without knowing the way of things.
As they reached the fringe of trees, she pulled up and positioned herself and Andy in the shadows. She slid down from her horse, and Andy did the same. “I’m gonna see if they’re making camp.” She spoke low enough the men wouldn’t hear.
“Wait. I see someone.” Andy moved forward to peer through the branches.
She padded up behind him. “You’re right. Why are they turning back?” Two horses emerged around a rock, following the path they’d been on minutes before.
Realization slipped in, bringing a hint of fear along with it. Those weren’t the horses they’d been following for three days now. The slumped shoulders of the men atop them looked nothing like those of the Grant brothers nor Mr. Benbow.
Her chest tightened. More strangers. This was exactly the reason she'd chosen to take this harder route through the mountains, so she could avoid men like these.
“I guess they’re going to the fort?” Andy looked up at her, his questioning gaze begging for the answers. If only she had them.
“I suppose so.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll wait until they’re out of sight before we move on. Stay with the horses. I’m going to scout through this underbrush.” In case the Grant party had indeed decided to camp here. But she suspected she would have heard them speaking with these strangers if they were close.
Which meant she and Andy still hadn’t caught up. They’d have to keep riding in the darkness until they found the men they were looking for. Which meant they were likely in for another long night with little sleep.
~ ~ ~
THEIR FIRE BURNED WARM as the mountain night wrapped its chilly arms around him, pulling Seth toward droopy-eyed oblivion. Across the blaze, his brother seemed much the same, and Elias had already snuggled into his bedroll. He should lie down, too, and let sleep claim him, but his mind couldn’t seem to settle.
Where was she camping tonight? The feisty woman with eyes the color of green moss and a loaded Henry rifle just wouldn’t leave his thoughts. Had she already left Fort Benton? Was she camping, even now, just over that ridge?
Had she heard the shots the night before? He’d almost gone out to check where the noise had come from, but Elias had warned him against doing so. Said he’d likely be the target of the next bullet, creeping around in the dark like that. By morning, everything seemed calm again, with the birds returning to busy chirping.
Elias bolted upright and reached for his rifle in a fluid movement that seemed unlikely for an older man. “Something’s comin’ our way.” He kept his voice low as he pushed to standing.
Seth reached for his own gun as he stood, turning the direction Elias faced. He’d heard nothing in the darkness save the crackling fire. Years of living in this wilderness had the older man’s ears attuned to any sound that didn’t belong, even at his age.
A branch cracked somewhere through the covering of pines. Seth raised his rifle. No bear would be so quiet. And a smaller animal wouldn’t approach so boldly.
“Hold your fire.” A voice slipped through the darkness. “Please.” The high tone of a woman. A familiar tone.
“Step into the light.” Elias didn’t lower his rifle, but his voice was gentle.
A branch shifted. Then she appeared, forming from the shadows. He remembered her hair as a light brown, but the strands looked the color of golden honey in the firelight. Her dress was a dark brown that faded into the shadows, illuminating her face.
His breathing stilled. She was even prettier than he remembered, with those flashing eyes and strong chin.
“Who be you?” Elias asked.
The words pulled Seth from his trance, at least enough to realize the man still held a gun on her.
Seth stepped forward. “She’s a friend. Put away the gun.”
Friend might be a stretch. The one and only time he’d seen this woman, she had a rifle trained on him and Samuel. But something inside him said she was trustworthy. His instincts were usually right. He’d spent years honing them around the card tables in California.
The woman’s gaze hung on Elias for a lingering moment. When the older man lowered his rifle, her piercing eyes turned to him. “Mr. Grant.”
“What are you doing here?” The moment the words slipped out, he wanted to slap himself. “I mean, have you come to join us?”
Her gaze turned uncertain. “I...yes. If your offer still stands. Except...” She slipped a glance behind. “It would be me and my son.” Her chin raised and the defiant look returned in full. “We’ll use our own supplies. We’d only be traveling with you.”
A son? “Of course. You’re welcome to join us.” He couldn’t help but wonder where the child was. And where had he been when they'd first met her? The boy must be quite a youngster still. She was so young herself.
She nodded. “I’ll go back and get our things.” Then she turned and looked as if she might fade into the night.
“I’ll come help.” He stepped forward, the urge to keep her from disappearing driving him.
“No.” She paused, glancing back at him. Something like uncertainty touched her face. “Thank you. I’ll return soon.”
He needed to respect her wishes, no matter how much it ate at him. So he nodded.
Then she was gone.
He eased out a breath as he turned back toward the campfire, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Samuel met his gaze, raising meaningful brows.
A rough chuckle slipped from Seth. “Yeah.” He was just as surprised she’d come. What changed her mind so quickly? The mountain heights? The gunshots the night before? Or something worse? Because she’d been surely determined only three days back.
Samuel dropped to his knees by the food pack they hadn’t yet hung in the trees for the night. “I’ll fill a couple plates for them.”
“Good thinking.” Seth should do something to get them settled, too.
Within minutes, the heavy tromping of horses sounded through the trees. One of their animals nickered, and a response came from a gray mount as it stepped into the light of the fire, the woman at its head.
He didn’t even know her name. The thought slugged him, spurring his feet into motion.
She pulled her horse aside to allow another golden-colored animal to enter. Leading it was a boy, much older than Seth had expected. Maybe eleven or twelve. Lanky, but starting to spread out—a youth growing into a man. This was her child?
“I’ll take yer horses and settle ’em on the tie line.” Elias stepped forward. He’d shed his rifle and now spoke in his usual affable tone.
The woman pulled back. “We’ll tend them.” Her words came out in a bark, just as tense as when they’d first met her.
He had to do something to set her at ease. To let her know they only wanted to help. Now that she’d joined them, she didn’t have to carry the weight of her worries alone.
“Ma’am.” He motioned toward the older man. “This is Elias Benbow. He’s a good fellow and has a way with horses.” Then he pointed back to Samuel. “My brother has food ready for you both. If there’s anything you need in your packs for the night, go ahead and grab it. Then we’d like to help you get settled in.”
She studied him for a long moment. The shadows had settled in her eyes, so he couldn’t read her thoughts.
He did his best to keep his expression open. If only he could make her believe they were trustworthy.
He hadn’t always been such, but he was now.
She must have seen something that eased her worry, because she turned away and stepped to her pack. “Get what you need, son.” Her murmur was so low, he barely picked out the words.
After pulling a few bundles from their packs, she turned to Elias. “Where are your animals tied?”
He reached for the reins, but she pulled back. “We’ll tend them. Just show us where.”
Seth had to fight the urge to follow and help. He’d never seen a woman so stubborn about accepting assistance. Surely someone had broken her trust in the world.
He kept himself busy with moving the bedrolls around to clear a space for them by the fire. Then he set out two more thick logs for seats. He would have moved the woman’s and boy’s things in closer, but he had the feeling she’d strike like a venomous snake if he touched them without approval.
At last they returned, Elias first, then the woman marching behind him, her mouth in a determined line. She scooped up as many bundles as she could carry, and her son took the others.
Seth was on his feet. “I don’t think I caught your names.”
She placed the bundles just outside of their circle and bent to unfasten the leather ties of a satchel. “I’m Mrs. Gray. My son, Andy.”
Missus? Was she widowed, then? There were plenty of widows from the War Between the States. Honestly, she didn’t look old enough to have a son that big. She must have married young.
Maybe her husband was alive, and they were traveling north to reach him. A small part of him hoped that wasn’t the case, which wasn’t a Christian way to think at all. He’d need to do a bit more praying than usual on this trip.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Seth motioned toward the empty place they’d created by the fire. “Settle in and let us know what you need.”
Her shoulders stiffened. “We need nothing.”
He almost let out a sigh but held it back at the last minute. She wasn’t taking any favors, that was for certain.
This might be a long journey north.
