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My heart says to never trust again. Yet my heart has been so thoroughly beaten down, I don’t know whether to believe it or not.
~ Rachel
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“I THOUGHT I MADE IT clear to you, Mr. Grant. My son and I are only traveling with you. We’ll be cooking our own meals, caring for our own animals, and staying fully out of your way.” Rachel kept her hands propped on her hips so she didn’t do something with them she regretted.
He didn’t seem disturbed by her words at all, just kept that frustratingly calm—almost curious—expression. “I understand. I’m only saying there’s no need for you and Andy to have a separate fire. It’d be a sight easier to have one for us all, then take turns cooking.”
Easier yes, but she’d do whatever it took to keep her and Andy safe. And that required a bit of space from these men. She worked to level her voice. “We didn’t join on to make ourselves a bother. This way, you men can have your space, and we can still have a bit of privacy.” Surely he wouldn’t argue against that.
His mouth formed a thin line under the edges of his barely-grown beard. He seemed to study her for a moment. “If privacy is what you need, it’d be best to build a partition of sorts that would separate your bedroll from ours, but still give you access to the fire’s heat. I bet we could make something easily with a few logs and a blanket.” He was already looking around, maybe for branches to construct the idea forming in his mind.
“Wait.” She raised a hand.
He stalled, turning back to her. “It’s not safe for you to be separated over here." He looked from her pile of logs to the camp where Samuel and Elias were making camp and pretending not to watch the drama unfold. A good ten strides separated them. “A mountain lion or some other animal could strike, and we’d not know ’til we heard you scream.” His gaze seemed to drill into her, searing the truth of his words until they pressed into her chest.
Maybe she should just agree. After all, sharing the same fire wouldn’t change anything. She and Andy could still keep to themselves. They’d still be protected from another bear attack. It might be the best possible compromise.
She kept her back straight, but nodded. “All right. We’ll let our fire burn out and move our bedrolls over.”
The corners of his mouth twitched, but at least he had the decency to hold in his triumphant grin. “I’ll get started on that partition.”
It was almost humorous to watch the Grant brothers as they worked together to build the divider in the darkness. Elias was putting away the food from their evening meal while the younger men worked, and he seemed just as amused.
“It won’t hold without a crossbeam there.” Samuel Grant’s voice maintained a steady resolve, and she tried not to look their way.
“I have a crossbeam. Here.” Seth’s tone had been slowly building with frustration over the last few minutes.
“It needs another. Right there.”
“Fine. Here’s another." He tossed a long branch his way. "You want a third, too?”
“This will do.”
They sounded as if they might come to blows, and she shot a glance at Andy. Should she take him to check on the horses so he didn’t see the argument turn violent?
But a chuckle drew her focus back to the men. Seth stepped away from their work, dusting his hands as he turned to her. “Mrs. G, you now have a partition sturdier than most house walls. Samuel made sure of it.”
She studied his face in the dancing firelight. How had his anger evaporated so quickly? Was he just holding it in?
He didn’t wait for an answer from her, but turned toward the dwindling campfire in the far camp. “Andy, let’s get these things moved over.”
~ ~ ~
THE NEXT MORNING ON the trail, Seth found himself bringing up the rear of the group. One of the men he used to gamble with had been a cowpuncher in Texas, and called this particular position riding drag. That man had hated the rear because of the thick dust a herd of cattle kicked up, but there was no such trouble with this group.
He had the perfect view of Mrs. Gray just ahead, her back tall in the saddle, yet so relaxed with the movement of the animal. She’d clearly spent a great deal of time on the back of her horse. The path was wide enough for them to ride double in most places, and Elias’s mule plugged along beside her white-gray gelding. She seemed a little more amiable toward Elias than toward him or Samuel. At least she hadn’t bitten Seth's head off yet this morning.
“I noticed you and the boy was eatin’ bear meat this mornin’.” Elias’s tone rumbled easily, conversational. “D’you buy it back at the fort?”
“We shot the beast when he entered our camp a few nights ago.” Tension hung in her tone, but there was no visible change in the outline of her shoulders. He wished he could see her face.
Then her words registered in his mind. A few nights ago...was that the shots that had jerked them from sleep around midnight? The ones Elias had stopped him from investigating?
He could imagine the fear of waking to find a bear in their camp. Elias made them hang all foodstuffs and cooking supplies in a tree far from the fire each night, but maybe Mrs. Gray hadn’t known to do that.
If they’d had food in their camp, no wonder the bear had come hunting. And three shots had been fired. Did that mean the bear hadn’t died with the first bullet? An angry grizzly could be terrifying...and deadly.
The very next night, she and Andy had shown up in their camp, asking for the security of the larger group. Now he understood why.
And he was even more thankful he’d pushed for them to join the rest of them around a single campfire. He didn’t like the idea of the woman and boy separated from them, even by a small distance.
Elias had kept her talking with a story about his own run-in with a grizzly, and Seth refocused on their conversation.
“He was an old feller, but his meat filled our bellies for a week at least. Maybe more.”
“It’s nice to have enough food to last a while.”
“Did you make sure you—” Elias cut his words as he threw a hand out to stop them. “Ho up there, Samuel. I see a passel o’ deer down the hill.”
Seth’s gelding saw the animals at the same time Elias did. The horse tensed, ears straining toward the new creatures, every muscle in his body quivering.
About fifty strides down the mountain, a group of six whitetail deer stood frozen. Watching them. Three appeared to be weanlings, just barely old enough to lose their spots. The other three were full-grown, one with a small pair of antlers.
“We need a bit more meat to carry us. I’m gonna take down the young buck.” Elias spoke low as he raised his rifle. A moment later, a blast split the air.
A scream sounded within the same breath, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Mrs. Gray clap hands against her ears.
One of the deer dropped to the ground, but the others bolted, leaping down the slope toward a cluster of trees.
“You all can rest yer horses while I take care o’ this feller.” Elias turned his mule from the trail, working his way down toward the brown heap.
Seth turned his focus back to the woman. Her shoulders had lost their easy line as she now clutched the saddle. Was it seeing an animal die that bothered her? Or did the gunshot remind her of the bear’s appearance the other night? Probably the latter.
He eased his horse alongside hers. Her face had paled three shades, but the sight of him seemed to reinvigorate her. At least, the way her shoulders squared and her jaw set in her typical determined look, he assumed that was the case.
He wanted desperately to say something to help her. Something that would ease her fears or maybe clear away the memories that seemed to frighten her. “I had a pet deer once. Or rather Samuel and I both did.”
She jerked her gaze to him, her eyes widening in a way that seemed to scrutinize whether he was telling the truth.
“We were just old enough to play in the fields by ourselves, and we discovered a young fawn.” He searched the recesses of his mind for any memories of the animal. “I think it must have been a week or two old, and we carried it back to the house. Our sister Noelle set us up with a pap feeder, and we nursed the fawn until it was old enough to wean. It lived in our yard for a few weeks after that. Then one day, it just disappeared.”
Samuel had been devastated by the animal’s leaving, but Seth had told his brother its family had come back for it. He’d really believed the story, too. Although now, he saw how much more likely it was that another animal had taken the baby. His heart panged at the realization.
“The only pet we had was a horse," she said. My father called him Alfred and pretended he was a prince that an evil fairy had turned into our gelding.” Her voice held a soft edge he’d never heard from her before.
He slid a glance at her. She’d loosened her grip on the saddle, and her gaze lingered in the direction of her son, although her focus seemed somewhere far away.
“Did he ever turn back into a prince?” He couldn’t help the question.
She looked over at him, the soft expression lingering a final moment before it turned to something sad. “We eventually lost him. Maybe he became some other girl’s prince.”
Then she reined her horse back and turned off the trail. “I’m going to see if Elias needs help.”
As her horse picked his way down the mountain, Samuel looked at Seth, his gaze making it clear he’d heard their exchange. Her final wording seemed to have his brother wondering, too. We eventually lost him. That made him think the animal died, but her next sentence sounded as if they’d sold him.
Samuel shrugged, showing he wasn’t going to lose sleep over the comment. “I guess we should all help.” Then he turned his horse toward the others, and Andy fell in behind him.
Seth brought up the rear to make sure the boy didn’t have trouble, but he couldn’t shake off his curiosity as easily as his brother had.
In truth, it was more than just curiosity. This woman’s life hadn’t been an easy ride, he was pretty sure of it. And the effects of her experiences had left her bruised in a way he craved to make better.
If she’d let him in, maybe he could help her shake off the wounds from the past.
But breaking through Mrs. Gray’s shell wasn’t going to be easy.
~ ~ ~
SETH SCOOPED OUT THE last of the flapjacks the next morning and loaded them onto a plate. Elias and Samuel had already filled up, then headed out to feed the animals and get things ready for the day.
Awareness tingled his skin even before the sound of soft footsteps alerted him to Mrs. Gray’s approach. Every part of him seemed to come alive when she was near.
He reached for the plate of cakes and turned to her. “I made more batter than I should have, and the boys are done eating. I’d be obliged if you and Andy would finish these off since we don’t really have room to pack them.” That was stretching the truth. They’d always make room for food, and he’d actually made these just for her and Andy. The hard part was getting her to accept them.
She slid a glance at the offering, then turned back to her own pot. “We have plenty.”
He grabbed his used dishes and stood, leaving the platter of johnnycakes on the rock near the fire. “Just add these in with your other food.” He walked away before she could throw them at him. She probably wouldn’t waste good food, but he was learning never to underestimate this woman.
They’d camped a short walk away from a thin creek trickling from the rock face, and he did a quick job of scrubbing the tinware in the icy water. Even with summer coming on strong in the lowlands, these higher elevations still maintained cool nights and icy creeks.
One of the horses neighed in the distance as he worked, and Elias’s mule brayed an answer. Even the animals were ready to get on the trail. He stacked the last of the plates and moved on to the frying pan.
A gut-wrenching scream pierced the air, followed by the sharp clatter of iron. Mrs. Gray? He struggled to his feet, tossed the fryer to the ground beside the other dishes, and sprinted back toward the campfire.
