| |
God, don’t let me show my fear. Please.
~ Rachel
Rachel’s heart seized. She inhaled a breath, forcing herself under control.
She knew exactly what had to be done. “Lay him down right there.” She motioned to the place they stood. “He shouldn’t move. We have to keep his blood from spreading the poison.”
Samuel obeyed and lowered Seth to sit on the ground. She dropped to her knees beside his left leg. “Where’s the bite?”
He pulled up the hem of his trouser to reveal the pale skin of his calf. Twin red marks marred the top where a bump was already swelling. At least the bite wasn’t in the thick part of the muscle. Although the man’s leg seemed to be all muscle. Defined and solid.
She forced her attention back to the fang marks. “Did you see the snake? Are you sure it was a rattler?”
“Saw and heard it.” Seth spoke through his teeth.
“It’s lying in pieces if you wanna look at it.” Samuel’s tone held more tension than she’d ever heard from him. “Do you know what to do?”
She nodded. “I’ve treated two rattlesnake bites before. Do you have a handkerchief?”
His brows rose. “No. You need a bandage?”
They didn’t have time to search for things. Raising her skirt hem, she ripped the seam, then tore off a strip long enough to tie around Seth’s leg. “Get me some gunpowder and salt, equal parts. We don’t have egg so mix enough water to make a paste. Quick.”
Samuel sprinted toward the horses.
After wrapping the cloth around Seth’s leg a handbreadth above the wound, she tied the knot tight. “Andy, go get him a cup of clean water to drink.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He darted away too, leaving her alone with Seth.
She glanced at his face. Pale, but that could be from fear of the snake. Even a man as strong as Seth Grant had the right to lose color when he stared death in the face. Beads of sweat slid down his temples, dampening his hair.
She returned her focus to his leg, straining to recall everything the doctor had said when Richard was bitten, which was the only time she’d been lucid enough to remember. The wound had been in his hand, and the doctor had dosed him with more whiskey than anything, but he’d also used the gunpowder poultice. Was there something else?
The skin was beginning to darken over the wound, and the swelling had definitely worsened. No doubt about it, the snake had been poisonous.
She forced her body to remain calm, her heart not to race. Where was Samuel with that poultice?
A glance back showed he was adding water to the mixture, then he used his finger to stir as he jogged toward her. She needed something to hold the concoction in place over the bite, so she grabbed her skirt and tore another swath.
She dabbed the thick mixture on the bite, then tied the cloth to hold it in place. After brushing the rest from her hands, she leaned back to survey him. “Are you having trouble breathing?”
Seth leaned back, his hands on the ground, his weight propped against them. Moisture wicked his brow. He took a few breaths. “I don’t think so.”
“Tell me if you struggle for breath or if your chest hurts.”
He nodded, all sign of his easy nature stripped away. “Is it bad?”
She looked back at the leg, though there was nothing left to see except the swelling skin that showed around the bandage. She inhaled a steadying breath, then released it. Better to be honest with him. “I’ve seen worse. But there is poison in there.”
“It’s not bad, though? He’ll live?” Samuel dropped to his haunches beside her, his voice ringing with hope.
Did she dare encourage that optimism? Be honest. She could only speak the truth as she knew it. Nothing more, nothing less. “Based on the two rattlesnake bites I’ve seen before, I’d say he stands a decent chance of surviving. If there’s no infection." She turned her focus to Seth. "You need rest, and you should drink plenty of water. That’s all we can do right now.”
Samuel rose to his knees, his presence looming beside her. “There has to be more we can do. Don’t you know anything?” The demand in his tone struck like accusation.
She met the fire in his eyes with a level gaze. “I’m telling you the truth as far as I know it. My experience is limited to two occasions, so I may be wrong.”
The flame in his look blazed. “Don’t you care whether he lives or dies?” He spit the words through clenched teeth.
They hit their mark, spraying sparks that singed her calm façade. She tightened her own jaw lest her emotions broke through her control. “I do care. I’m doing everything I know to help him recover.”
“Sam.” Seth’s tone was soft yet held a hint of warning.
His brother huffed out a grunt, then scrubbed a hand through his thick hair. He seemed to be fighting a battle within himself. She’d seen that look before. Richard sometimes wore that tortured look just before his vices dragged him to town for drink and gambling.
Finally, he eased out a long breath. “Rest. All right.” He turned to scan the area around them. “There’s not a good place to camp here. No trees for shelter. Is it all right if we ride a little farther if we take it slow?”
She shook her head before he finished the question. “No. He needs to stay as still as possible for a few more hours so the poison doesn’t spread through his body.”
Seth eased himself down so he was lying flat on the ground. “I’m fine right here. You don’t need to worry about me. Just see to the animals.”
“Here’s the water, Ma.” Andy’s voice was a welcome distraction.
She turned to take the cup from her son and tried to summon a smile to ease the worry marking his face. “The bite isn’t as bad as it could be. Mr. Grant needs to rest for a while.”
He nodded, sliding a long look to Seth.
Seth managed a better smile than she had. “I’ll be fine. I’m gonna need you and Samuel to unsaddle the horses, though. Your mama won’t let me up yet.”
“Yes, sir.” Andy looked to Samuel.
The man heaved out another breath and pushed to his feet. “Let’s go set up camp.”
A thought struck Rachel, and she turned to his retreating back. “You should check the rocks to make sure there aren’t any other snakes.”
He waved an acknowledging hand but didn’t turn to her. “I’ll do it.”
She had to stop herself from nibbling her lower lip as she returned her focus to Seth. “He’s angry with me.”
“That’s just his way of worrying. He’s thankful you’re here.”
A half-laugh, half-snort slipped out. “I can feel his regard.”
One corner of Seth's mouth tipped up. “He’ll show it better once he simmers down.”
She raised the cup, more than ready to take the focus off herself. “Can you sit up to drink this?”
He used his elbow to prop himself up, then took the tin and held it to his mouth. As he swallowed gulp after gulp, his eyes found hers.
She should look away, but that intense brown gaze had a way of pulling her in, holding her until he chose to release her.
He finished with a long exhale and lay back as he handed over the empty cup. “I, for one, am also quite thankful you’re here. And not just to cure me from snakebite.” His lips pulled in something of a roguish grin, although the pain around his eyes showed through.
She sent him a look meant to silence his teasing. “Does your leg hurt as much?” Peeling up the edge of the bandage, she checked to see if the blackening of the skin had spread.
“It’s better. The band you tied around me smarts more than the bite.”
“Good.” She lay the fabric back in place, adjusting it so the poultice better covered the injured area.
“Tell me.”
She shot a glance to his face. “Tell what?”
His eyes had softened. “About the other times you treated rattlesnake bites. Your mother? Brother?" A short pause. "Husband?”
That last word on his tongue nearly made her flinch, but she forced herself to hold firm. Now that he’d spoken it, her former marriage no longer hung like a secret between them.
Of course he would assume she’d been married. She had a son. But her life with Richard felt like something to hide from this man who was so very different from the man whose name she still carried.
Now, Seth was giving her the chance to speak of it.
She inhaled a silent, fortifying breath and kept her eyes focused on the wound as she spoke. “It was my husband, Richard. Andy was less than a week old when Richard came stumbling into the house clutching his hand. I ran for the doctor, and he came right away. He had Richard drink a great deal of whiskey while he made a poultice like this one, except he added egg to the mixture instead of water.” She glanced to Seth’s face. “I used everything we have here. I hope it will be enough.”
He nodded. “I’m mixing in a large dose of prayer, so that will more than cover what we’re missing.” He slid a glance at her. A look that should have warned her about his next words. “Your husband is...?”
The breath caught in her throat. She could say it, just spit out the words. “Died. Earlier this year.” They came out a bit garbled, but at least she’d said them.
He nodded, his eyes softening. “How about the second snakebite you mentioned?”
She turned back to his wound so she didn’t reveal too much by her face and worked to keep the memories distant. Only facts. “The second time I was bitten as I worked in our garden. Andy was nearby and mixed the poultice for me. The viper struck through the leather of my boot, so the bite wasn’t a bad one.”
“What of the snake?” The surprise in his voice was clear.
“I killed it with the spade.”
“After it bit you?”
“Yes.”
“What of needing to be still so the poison didn’t travel through your body? Did you know that at the time?”
She raised a casual shoulder. “I didn’t want the snake to strike Andy. It was best to kill it immediately.” Why did he press so about details that didn’t pertain to the bite itself?
“Where was your husband?” His tone was gentle, yet relentless.
“Not home.” She steeled her jaw. If he pushed farther, she’d not answer his questions.
“Did your wound look similar to mine?” He shifted, trying to see down his leg.
“Somewhat. Yours is swelling more than mine did. The blackening of the skin is similar.” She pressed his shoulder. “Lie still.”
He was silent finally. Yet the quiet made her want to fill it. What did he think about what she’d shared? He was hearing more about their life beneath the words than she’d spoken, she was almost certain. Especially from the questions he asked.
Did he judge her? Judge Richard? He didn’t know the details, so his thoughts could only be speculation. And he wouldn’t know the details. More than this she wasn’t ready to share. Wouldn’t share.
She needed to create some distance between them, both physical and emotional. Reaching for the cup, she started to push up to her feet.
“Rachel.” He touched her arm, stilling her.
She couldn’t draw in a breath, but it had to be from his nearness, for no memories sprang through her. Nothing that made her want to quiver in fear.
“Yes?” She forced out the word. Then pulled in air through her tight lungs.
“I’m sorry for all you suffered.”
She shouldn’t look at him, but her wayward eyes refused to obey. Her gaze searched his face, finding a depth of feeling that seemed to sear through the middle of her. Flaying her wide.
He could have meant he was sorry for the bite from the venomous snake. But he meant more. It was all there in his eyes.
She wanted to believe him. Wanted to crawl into the safety he offered. But she couldn’t let herself be so vulnerable. Not with anyone, especially not with a man.
Dropping her gaze from his face made it easier to stand. To turn.
To walk away.
