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Why can’t the good moments last?
~ Rachel
The Indians never came. Or if they did, they didn’t leave a sign. And they didn’t attack.
Seth finally found a moment alone with his brother while they saddled the horses. “You think they’ll ambush us today?”
Samuel scanned the open land around them, just as they’d both been doing all morning. “Couldn’t say as I know what they’ll do. I’m a bit tired of trying to guess it.”
He couldn’t help a snort. “I know what you mean.”
His brother’s mouth tipped as he met Seth’s look. Then he sobered, his gaze drifting toward the mountain they’d be climbing soon. “I think we have enough to worry about getting over that. We’ll watch for the Indians, but we can’t lose our concentration up there.”
Samuel was right. Getting Rachel and Andy over this peak safely had to be his main focus today. “All right. Onward and upward.”
His brother nodded as he pulled the cinch tight on his saddle, then gave his gelding a pat. “Let’s get to it then.”
Rachel and her son had already saddled their horses and were finished packing their gear by the time Seth led his gelding to the camp. Within minutes they’d tied the last of the bundles on their mounts.
“I think we’re quicker each day.” He shot Andy a grin.
The boy returned a flash of white teeth. “Yes, sir.” He mounted with the ease only a youth could accomplish—one who’d spent many hours in the saddle.
Scaling the cliff proved easier than Seth had feared, as they were able to find a zig-zag pattern that allowed the animals somewhat sturdy footing.
Rachel stayed to the rear of the group as they planned their descent, her uneasy look and white-knuckled grip on the saddle making it clear she loathed this more than the rest of them did.
He gave her what he hoped would pass for an encouraging smile. “Just tuck your horse in behind mine and you’ll be fine.”
She nodded, but her gaze strayed toward the edge of the mountain. Then downward. Her eyes widened, her face going as pale as the white clouds overhead. She squeezed her eyes tight, and she swayed a bit in the saddle.
Maybe that was his imagination, but it was enough to make him rein his gelding closer and reach for her arm. He kept a steadying grip on her, even after she opened her eyes.
“Just look at me.” He kept his voice low and encouraging. She needed something safe to focus on.
She obeyed, although her face hadn’t regained its color.
“Do you want to ride down with me? We can tether your gelding to mine.” If she lost her balance while in the saddle, a tumble would probably kill her.
She looked like she might accept the offer, but then the steel slipped back into her spine. She raised her chin and focused her gaze. “I’ll be fine. I can do it.”
He almost grinned at her as he released her arm and straightened in his saddle. “That’s my girl.”
It took about an hour to descend the mountain, then they traveled through a rocky valley that led them steadily upward, although at a much lower incline.
The easier terrain would give Rachel a chance to unwind from the stress of the mountain they’d just traversed. For her sake, the end of their journey couldn’t come fast enough.
Yet when they reached their destination, she expected to part from him. He hadn’t even hinted to her yet that he wanted a life with her. She hadn’t been ready to hear it, he was fairly certain of that.
The telling of her story—both last night and the other day—seemed a significant step. Monumental. She trusted him with her past, and he knew in every part of him that trust was the biggest gift she could have bestowed. Had she ever told anyone else? He suspected not.
But hearing her history had planted a boulder in his gut that felt like it grew every time he thought of it. Her husband had struggled with a gambling addiction? What were the odds he’d be afflicted with that particular vice? Lord, why?
God had completely healed Seth of that obsession. Stripped away all desire not just for the thrill of winning at cards, but also for the taste of alcohol, and the smoky haze of a game room, women moving among them more freely even than drinks.
He could barely stomach the memories, so far had he run from that life. But would Rachel believe it? Drink and gambling had stolen everything good in her world—except her son, of course. When he told her of his past, would she think him just as untrustworthy as her husband had been?
It seemed crazy that God would bring a woman into his life who’d suffered so much at the hands of the same vices the Lord had saved him from. Father, only You can make this turn out for good. Please.
A rustle ahead snagged his focus, and he reined his gelding to a stop as he reached for his rifle.
White flashed behind a stubby cedar, drawing his gaze as he positioned his rifle. White?
The animal took shape as it stepped forward, but the image still didn’t make sense. It looked like a deer, but the coloring was as pale as trampled snow. He’d heard of albino buffalo and how prized they were among Indians and traders. Could this be an albino deer?
He shouldn’t miss this chance to claim a valuable trade good, and they did need the meat. Aiming along the barrel, he held his breath and squeezed the trigger.
A clean shot. The animal dropped to the ground in a lump, pressing on his chest at the sight. He’d never get used to taking animal life, even if it was the only way those he loved could live.
Lowering the gun, he glanced back at the group behind him. His gaze swung to Rachel, whose face had paled to almost the shade of the deer. “What’s wrong?” He swung down from his horse and moved to her animal’s side.
Her hands were shaking as they clutched the reins. “Nothing’s wrong.” The tendons at her throat worked, and she blinked. “I mean...we’re almost out of salt. We don’t have enough for this meat and the hide.”
The knot in his gut tightened and he rested a hand over her fist. “We’ll figure out something. Why are you shaking, though, Rachel? It’s not because of the salt.”
She turned her gaze on him, her eyes glimmering with enough terror that he had to tighten his jaw to keep from pulling her into his arms to comfort her. “I don’t do well with gunshots. It’s a weakness.”
Her mother. Realization flashed over him like a bucket of water. He brought up his other hand to close over both of hers. “I’m sorry, Rachel. Oh, I’m sorry.” He was a lout to not recognize the signs sooner. She’d reacted strongly the time Elias took down a deer while they rode, too. And she’d told him her story.
She shook her head, nudging her horse forward, out of his reach. “I’m fine. Let’s do what we need to with this deer.”
As he watched the stiff set of her shoulders, he couldn’t help the ache in his belly. Help me help her, Lord. Show me the way.
~ ~ ~
“WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF it?” Seth eyed the smoke curling through the trees ahead.
“Looks like a campfire of some sort. But only one. Maybe a cabin or teepee.” Samuel shot a look at the late afternoon sky, and Seth raised his gaze to follow. It had almost reached the time that they would stop to camp for the night. Would these strangers be friend or foe?
“I’ll ride ahead and scout it out.” Rachel nudged her gelding forward as though she planned to do just that.
“Wait.” He didn’t even try to hold back the growl from his voice. “You’re not going to march in there for those Indians to capture you.”
Her spine stiffened, and she turned a glare on him. “I can be quieter than any of you. I’ve snuck up to Indian camps before and never been noticed. In fact...” Her eyes narrowed and the corner of her mouth tipped upward. “Andy and I spied on your camp the night before we first joined you.”
He played her words over in his mind again before they made sense. Even then, they didn’t settle well. “You...watched us?” Was she making up this tale to force him into a yes? Surely one of them would have heard or felt her presence. Elias would have, for certain.
Her chin lowered a notch, and some of the confidence slipped from her gaze. “Andy and I both did. I wanted to see what sort of men you were.”
A piece that had been missing from the picture in his mind shifted into place. Although...not a complete fit. “Was that after the bear came into your camp or before?”
She ran her tongue over her lips. A nervous gesture. “Before.”
He cocked his head as he struggled to make sense of it. “You were thinking of joining us even then?”
A slight shake of her head. “No. Just curious. We saw you riding ahead of us, so later that night, we came nearer to see what you three were about.” Her chin rose again. “We did that many times with people we saw on the way from Missouri. Crept up on white men and Indians alike. One can learn a great deal about a man by watching him at his leisure. How much he drinks. What he speaks of.” A shrug, probably meant to be casual, but he could see how much this topic affected her.
“So...what did you learn about us?” They must have passed muster for her to join them after the bear attack, but he still found himself holding his breath as he waited for her reply.
Her gaze slid to Samuel before returning to him. “We saw no sign of whisky. You were easy in each other’s company. No vices that were obvious.”
He raised his brows. “You approved then?”
A corner of her mouth twitched, but she managed to keep a straight face. “I found nothing to disapprove.”
That was probably all he’d get from her, but it was enough. For now. He let a grin slip onto his face as he nodded. “Good. Now”—he turned back toward the smoke—“even though you’ve proved yourself a capable spy, I’d be a poor excuse for a man if I let you creep closer to that camp without knowing who it is.”
He slid her a look, fully expecting the glare that had resurrected on her face. And he was ready for it. “After all, you have a son who needs you. We shouldn’t take chances with your life when Samuel and I are around to take the risks.”
Her glare slipped, and her mouth formed a thin line. She must see the wisdom in his words. “All right.”
Thank you, Lord. Now he could turn his focus back to determining how much threat that thin ribbon of smoke presented. He reached for his rifle. “I’ll scout it out and see what we’re up against.” He slid down from the saddle before his brother had a chance to argue.
After gathering his reins, he handed them up to Rachel. “Hold this boy, will you?”
She took the leathers with a nod, but he closed his hand over hers to get her attention. She stilled, her gaze finding his.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He wasn’t sure what he meant to convey in the look that passed between them. Maybe that he would do everything in his power to keep her and Andy safe. Maybe that he cared more than he’d yet found a way to say. Maybe even that he craved another of her kisses, yet wouldn’t attempt it until she showed she was ready.
Her green gaze held a hint of vulnerability, but she seemed to accept what he wanted to express. She gave an almost imperceptible nod. A faint lifting at her mouth.
If he hadn’t been watching, he wouldn’t have seen the movements. But he did, and her response flooded him with pleasure. “I’ll be back.” He couldn’t help saying it one more time. Then he brushed his thumb across the back of her hand and stepped away.
He sent Andy a nod as he passed, and the boy straightened. “If they’re good folks, maybe they have some salt we could use for the deer.”
Seth cocked his head. “Maybe so.” He should have considered that already.
“Be careful.” Samuel’s voice was a bit of a growl as he strode by.
“I will.” Seth stopped to pat his brother’s gelding as he glanced at Samuel’s set jaw. “I’ll just get my bearings, then come back.”
Samuel nodded, but didn’t release the clamp of his jaw.
Seth turned to the task before him. Best get this done. Guide me, Lord.
