CHAPTER
10
At young ages, the primary difference between the win-at-all-costs coach and other coaches is in the treatment of the kids on the bottom of the totem pole. The “win-at-all-costs” coaches can be spotted because they find a way to drive off the bottom performers. They may have more difficulty doing this if the league has minimum playing-time rules. Without such rules, these coaches will just give the bottom performers token playing time or none at all.
The poorest performers may be singled out. They may be ridiculed in front of the rest of the team. When game or practice schedule changes occur, they don’t get the word. During scrimmages, they almost always sit down at the start. They never start a game.
Everyone on the team is called by their first name except them. They are never asked to demonstrate a technique. I’m sure I’ve left out some of the “better” methods. When I was coaching, I used to ask other coaches why they didn’t have the same number of kids I had. The answer was often that a couple of kids quit because “they really didn’t want to play this sport.” Sure, and a beer gut doesn’t come from drinking beer!
Many of us revere Green Bay Packer coach and multiple Super Bowl winner Vince Lombardi, who said, “Winning isn’t everything – it’s the only thing!” I agree, as long as we are talking about pro sports. But this ain’t about pro sports, it’s about kids sports.
Bill Koch, a U.S. Cross Country champion and Olympic medal winner said, “Winning isn’t everything in sports, striving for excellence is!” It was the venerable sports writer Grantland Rice who so wisely wrote:
Let the parents and kids know you like to win. You will not apologize for a win. You will be proud to win. You wouldn’t even mind winning every game. But it will not be a season of winning at all costs.
You will also, reluctantly, teach them to lose graciously. The other team played very well. On this day, they were the better team. If you say about the opponents that just beat you, then it is easier to take that loss. Describe those things the opposition did well. Relate that to some of the things your team did well. We can still be proud. We can still have fun. We will get them next time. Note a thing or two that you will work on in the next practice.
Don’t ever blame the officials for a loss in front of your kids. Bad calls seldom make a difference in winning or losing. If you think there is a problem with a particular game or official, take it to the organization leadership.
All too often, one team has been “stacked” by the chief organizer, who also coaches. Their team just happens to get more talent – by accident, of course. Sure, and my hair loss is temporary.
If you get into a season before realizing this was done, tough it out and insist that the method of choosing teams must change next season. In this circumstance, I would not hesitate to tell the parents what has happened/is happening.
Have your scorekeeper keep a playing-time record for your own team and perhaps the opposition. It can be used to show a disgruntled parent. If you suspect that another coach is not following the playing-time rules, bring it to the league officials to find out whether they will monitor that team. If you see that team again in the schedule, have your scorekeeper or timer track their playing time as well as your own. Take the opposing coach aside with your timekeeper and explain what you see happening. If necessary, take the results to league officials.