Midnight Vagabonds

Dũng and Dix wore beanies; Doc, a baseball cap. The rain hadn’t let up all evening which would make their task a very muddy one. The car still smelt of amyl from the previous night. They all prayed the boot wouldn’t fly open during the journey.

At twelve-fifteen, the Citroen made its way onto Punt Road. There didn’t seem to be the usual Saturday-night traffic. ‘Who but the desperate or the damned would venture out on such a night?’ observed Dix.

They turned down Toorak Road, past the optimistic glimmer of brightly lit cafes. So keen were they to be done with their task, they nearly went through the changing lights at Chapel Street. As they lurched to a dangerous stop, almost sliding into the cluster of crossing pedestrians, they heard their grim cargo heave in the boot. Dũng gave a little squeal of horror as it thumped against the back seat.

A police car pulled up on their right. Nervously, Doc played the ‘don’t look at them, but don’t not look at them either’ game. The last thing he wanted was to be breathalysed. The police turned right at Chapel Street and the Citroen cruised along until they reached Or rong Road, where they took a left. Dix had the street directory on his lap and was trying to navigate. ‘Doc, you should have looked at this before we left.’

T do know my way around Toorak, thank-you-very-much.’

‘Don’t you two start.’ Dũng opened the window an inch so a breath of air could demist the back windows.

When they arrived, the street wasn’t nearly as empty of cars as it had been when Dix had visited. Someone was having a do at one of the other houses that backed onto the river. Pulling up at Lady Asquith’s side gate, they heard the exuberant murmurs of a party in full swing and the unmistakable sounds of M People.

‘Is this going to work?’ asked Doc, turning the engine and lights off.

‘We’ll make it work,’ said Dix, deciding at that point to take over. ‘We must all grab the body and haul it over the fence together. If no one arrives or leaves that party, we’ll be okay, and the body can just lie in the drive until we get over there. Doc, you take the car to this park.’ He pointed at a small patch of green in the directory, 300 metres away. Doc would need to navigate around several blocks to reach it by car. ‘We’ll exit the other side of the property and meet you there.’

A couple of party-goers left the neighbouring house. A drunk boy in a dinner suit was making indecent lunges at a giggling girl in a cream cocktail dress. ‘Stop it, Garth, this is a Bettina Liano, cost me a fortune.’ They climbed into a nearby Alfa and piss-farted about in there for another five minutes before the car launched off down the road. It was now or never.

‘Please let the boot open this time,’ prayed Doc as they leapt from the car. He jiggered with the key for a second and it released.

‘Fuck!’ exclaimed Dũng as the fetid smell of excrement made its way into the frosty night air.

‘Just don’t think about it,’ said Dix, trying to work out the best way to get the now-stiff cargo of meat from its resting place.

‘Is it still all clear, Dũng?’ asked Doc.

‘Yep.’

‘Okay, Dix, grab the legs, I’ll take the shoulders.’

‘You grab the ankles, I’ll grab the wrists,’ sang Dix. No one laughed.

‘Dũng, you grab his belt. Help us to lift him clear of the boot.’

‘I don’t want to touch any of the shit,’ said Dũng, doing as he was told but reminding them he was still a princess at heart.

They looked at the fence they had to haul the body over, each; realising it was going to be harder than they’d thought. Had the body been floppier they could have fed it over until it fell to the ground on the other side. As it was, their victim now resembled a very heavy, curled-up store mannequin. His shape seemed a deliberate last act of defiance against his hapless killers.

They stood at the fence, drenched with rain and exposed to all the world.

‘What the fuck do we do now?’ sighed Doc with tired resignation.

‘We’ll put your bloody steroids to good use, my dear.’ Dix handed his share of the burden to Dũng and began scaling the fence with a vigour he hadn’t shown for decades. At the top, he swung onto a large adjoining oak tree. Standing in its fork, he lent back over the fence.

Suddenly they could hear people from the party talking on the front porch, people who would be able to see them once they reached the street. Dix felt a flood of adrenaline give him strength. ‘Now! Quick, Doc’

Doc heaved the body high enough for Dix to grab an arm. The effort on his face reminded Dix of the expression he wore when he was being fucked. Dũng was trying to help Doc by taking some of the strain. With all the strength he could muster in his normally sedentary physique, Dix hauled the body up to that crucial point where the balance of weight was enough to topple it over. With a crash it fell onto the leaves and shrubs below. The tree on which Dix stood was so wet and slippery he almost plummeted after it.

‘Quick, boys, get back into the car until those people are gone.’

Dix hung from the tree like a monkey. He watched from his darkened vantage point as four people made a dash for their car. One of the girls held her handbag over her head in a futile attempt to stay dry, as she and another woman ran ahead. ‘Veronica’s driving, not me and definitely not you, Stewart,’ she yelled. She clambered into the car and after a couple of failed starts, the engine turned over and they were gone.

Doc and Dũng raced back to the fence. Dũng was boosted to a height where he could grab Dix’s hand and scrabble over the fence.

‘Okay, Doc, you piss off. We’ll see you soon,’ ordered Dix, through a seam in the fence.

The Citroen slunk away into the night, leaving them with the sound of the KLF from the party and the constant, cold dripping of rain.

Dix told Dũng to wait with the body as he went on a reconnaissance mission to re-acquaint himself with the well’s whereabouts. Dũng stayed on guard, his senses on red alert. His gloves were soaked through and his beanie felt as if he was wearing a wet flannel.

Dix soon returned with the news that they only had to drag or carry the body sixty metres or so. Dũng grabbed the legs while Dix kept hold of the armpits. Breathlessly they squelched their way to Mitch’s secret, waiting grave. Dix noticed the iron cover was still unfastened, though the gap wasn’t as wide as he remembered. He felt Mitch’s pockets, making sure they were empty. They seemed to be.

‘Dũng, you’re going to have to get up there and hold that piece of metal for me. There should be just enough space to get him down the hole.’ He began to feed the rigidly curved body into the musty well. It caught on something almost immediately.

‘Shit.’ He pushed harder, and the hefty shoulders went through. Suddenly the body began to pull away from him, the hips being the last thing that needed help past the corrugated iron.

‘Bombs away,’ whispered Dũng as they heard the echoing splash beneath them.

‘Sanctus Christus homophobus nomorus,’ chanted Dix with High Church grandiosity.

Dũng climbed down, his gloves in tatters, his fingers red and cut.

‘You better get a tetanus shot from Doc’

‘It’s okay, I had one last year.’ Dũng’s face was smeared with mud. He tried to wipe it away with a shredded glove, but that only made it worse. He felt Dix’s thumb and forefinger stroke the back of his neck, and a shiver passed through him.

‘What are you playing at?’ he asked. T never know how to read you, Dixon.’

Dix laughed. ‘Like a book, my dear.’

‘What sort of book? A romance, a porno or an accounting text-book?’

‘Never an accounting textbook.’ Dix was staring into Dũng’s coffee-coloured eyes.

Without further thought, Dũng pushed him against the well and kissed him long, hard and deep.

Dix gave himself over to the feel of Dũng’s lips. His tongue wasn’t frantic and confused like Doc’s. It was languid and thorough, easy and supremely sensual. It searched and investigated each corner of Dix’s mouth. Dix knew if he accepted its invitation, he would be truly adored. He luxuriated in its promise a moment longer, then softly pulled away. His cock was hardening. An erection would prove most uncomfortable in the tight old jeans he was wearing.

Their hearts beating fast, they battled their way silently through the undergrowth. Ten minutes later, they reached the last fence they needed to scale for the night. Dũng went first and, as he cleared the top of the wooden palings, Dix noticed how much more limber he was. Only five years difference and I creak and crack like an old man compared to him, he thought. Then he found his footing on the palings and was over.

They briskly walked the two blocks to the car. The houses they passed were in darkness, just the occasional sensor light acknowledging their presence. Doc started the engine on their approach and they collapsed, breathless and sodden, into the waiting car.

Dix flopped onto the back seat, and stared at the ceiling. He could still make out the kick marks from last night’s fatal struggle. He let out an exhausted breath. ‘Just drive, she said.’