TABITHA
Memorial Day weekend, present day
Those eyes.
I felt dizzy. I had to grab the back of the empty chair across from him to steady myself. I took a breath. Connor looked shocked. Then he looked transported. His cheeks flushed, his eyes widened, he shook his head slightly. He broke into a huge grin. That sparkling, ravishing smile that I’d never managed to forget, hard as I tried.
“Tabby. It’s you, right? How incredible to find you here,” he said, and laughed out loud.
Connor’s smile was as beautiful and carefree as I remembered—white teeth, crinkles around the eyes, a dimple in his cheek. He had the sort of smile that makes a young girl fall in love. Or a grown woman. All I know is, my stomach fluttered the way it had the very first time I saw him. Which scared me. Every time I saw his picture online, it threw me for days. What would a real-life encounter do to me?
I was speechless, and my silence confused him.
“Wait, you do remember me?” he said, looking worried.
“I’m just—shocked.”
“You scared me there for a minute. I thought maybe you forgot.”
“Never.”
The silence lengthened as we gazed at each other.
“You look amazing,” he said.
“You look even better. Marriage agrees with you, I guess.”
“You know about that?”
“The whole world knows, Connor. You’re famous.”
“She’s famous. I’m just Mr. Nina Levitt.”
I nodded at the empty seat across the table from his. “Would you prefer to wait for her to place your drink order?”
“Huh?”
Only then did his gaze take in my white shirt and black pants—the typical waitstaff uniform—and the pitcher of water in my hand.
“You work here.”
“I do,” I said, in as cool a tone as I could muster.
My cheeks felt hot as I filled his water glass. We’d never been equals. But now the gap between us was wider than ever.
“Can I start you with a cocktail? Or, would you prefer to wait for your wife?”
It was his turn to flush. “She’s not coming. This is a solo trip.”
“All right, then. What can I get you to drink?”
“Uh, Hendrick’s and tonic?”
“Certainly.”
“Hey, no, wait. Can we start over? Please, sit down for a few minutes. I’d love to catch up.”
“I’m sorry, that’s not possible when I’m working.”
“Quickly, then—give me the basics.”
He touched the empty spot on my left ring finger where my hand clutched the chair back.
“You’re not married, I see,” he said.
The way my body reacted to his touch—that unnerved me. I took a step back.
“I was. I’m divorced.”
“Children?”
“No.”
“Me, neither. It’s funny, whenever I think about you—”
He paused. My heart skipped a beat.
“You think about me?”
“I envision you with a minivan full of kids. You always wanted a big family.”
“I was an only, remember? I wanted what I never had. Your family seemed so jolly.”
“Jolly, no. We were crazy.”
“Hah, you said it, not me. Still, I was jealous. I remember you wanted kids, too.”
We’d talked about that, once, lying in the grass out on the golf course under a sky full of stars. Not how many kids we each wanted, but how many we would have together. Boys, girls, what we’d name them.
“I’m so glad you’re still here at Baldwin Lake,” he said.
“That makes one of us.”
“Otherwise, I never would have found you.”
He gazed up at me intently. The moment seemed to stretch out in time. Back to the past, off to the future, like we were picking up where we’d left off. But that wasn’t possible.
“I, um. I have tables waiting. I’ll be back with your cocktail.”
I turned and walked away, hurrying to the bar where my friend Matt was on duty.
Matt looked like a biker, with a shaved head, a bushy beard, and sleeve tattoos, but he was the kindest soul I knew. He noticed me and came over.
“It’s crazy out there tonight. Holding up okay?” he asked.
“Ugh. An ex showed up and knocked the wind out of me.”
“Not Derek?” Matt asked, looking alarmed. “I thought you said he moved to Florida.”
Derek was my ex-husband.
“He did, thank God. No, this is someone I dated years ago.”
“Is he bothering you?”
“Just making me sad. I was crazy about him, and it didn’t end well. Now he’s rich as God, and I’m old and pathetic.”
“Old? What are you, like, twenty-two?” he said.
I noticed he didn’t dispute the second half of my statement.
Matt slapped a shot glass down in front of me and poured out a finger of expensive tequila. “This is good for what ails you.”
I wasn’t a big drinker, but if I didn’t take the edge off my feelings, I wouldn’t get through the night. I knocked the shot back.
“Another.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”
“This guy broke my heart, Matt.”
He refilled the glass. The second shot did the trick. A comforting layer of gauze dropped over the room. I placed the drink order and went off to the kitchen to collect waiting entrees.
By the time I got around to delivering Connor’s drink, I was surprised to see that a woman had joined him at his table. She was pretty, with shiny dark hair, wearing a flowy dress. They leaned toward each other, talking intently. She definitely was not his wife, whose picture I’d seen many times. Nina Levitt was older than this woman and had famously red hair. The flame-haired Nina Levitt, or “Titian-haired,” they said in the press. Titian was an artist who liked to paint pictures of women with red hair. I knew this because I’d looked it up. He was before Nina’s time or else I’m sure he would’ve painted her.
I was too busy to dwell on this mystery woman, however, and too proud to admit that I cared. I took their order like I didn’t even know him. Other than shooting me an intense look, he didn’t acknowledge me, either, or attempt to introduce me to her. The evening passed in a blur, helped along by the tequila. I was back and forth to Connor’s table in between serving other customers. Before I knew it, two hours had passed, and he was alone. I brought him the check, and he handed me one of those Amex black cards. Titanium, cool to the touch. I’d never seen one before. They were like an urban legend. No credit limit, and you couldn’t apply for one. Amex had to decide you were worthy.
“Is this for real? I thought only, like, Beyoncé and Saudi princes had these.”
“It’s real.”
“I didn’t think you had room to come up in the world, Connor Ford, but I was wrong.”
He gave a harsh laugh.
When I came back ten minutes later with the slip for him to sign, the woman hadn’t reappeared.
“What happened to your girlfriend?”
A worried look came into his eyes. “Not a girlfriend. Just a business associate.”
“Guess I won’t sell her picture to the tabloids, then.”
My tone was light enough to convey that I was just razzing him. But Connor didn’t get the joke. He went deathly pale and grabbed my wrist.
“Tell me you didn’t take any photos tonight.”
“Hey.”
I jerked my hand away.
“I’m sorry,” he said, “but this is important.”
“I was teasing, because you’re famous now. It was a joke, okay? Jeez.”
I rubbed my wrist.
“You don’t understand. I’m under a lot of pressure. If you took a photo—”
“I said I didn’t.”
“Can you just— I know this sounds crazy, but can I see your phone? Just to check.”
“Seriously?”
He stared back at me, looking almost ill. He wasn’t joking.
“Fine. Here. Go through my photos if that’ll make you feel better.”
I took my phone from my pocket and opened my photos. Connor grabbed the phone from my hand and scrolled frantically. After a minute, he breathed out, handing the phone back to me.
“Okay?” I said.
“Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a jackass. If you knew my situation—”
“I get it. You have people taking advantage of you on a daily basis. You and I haven’t seen each other in years, so for all you know, I could be the type who’d make a buck selling your picture. I’m not. Please, accept my apology, and allow me to comp your drinks.”
“That’s not necessary.”
“I insist.”
“No, Tabby, really. I’m sorry, I overreacted. I don’t want it to be like that between us.”
“Like what?”
“Like we’re strangers. A waitress and a customer.”
He was looking at me with those eyes, and I felt their power. I needed to put a stop to this before he broke my heart all over again. Given the presence of the attractive brunette, he was probably already cheating. A player, despite his protestations.
“Listen, it was nice seeing you. I’ll get out of your hair now. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Wait. No.”
He sounded almost desperate.
“Let me make it up to you. Buy you a drink?”
“I’m working.”
“Afterwards, then.”
“It’s dead around the lake at night. By the time I get off work, everything will be closed.”
“I know somewhere we can go, just to talk. Please, give me a chance to redeem myself. It’s a gift to run into you out of the blue. I can’t let it end with me blowing it like this.”
His eyes were pleading. It was unnerving how upset he’d gotten over a dumb joke. But on the other hand, he was Connor, and he was right. It was a miracle, running into each other after all these years. In a sense, the damage was already done. He’d wormed his way into my head, my heart, all over again. If I passed up the chance to have a drink with him, I’d regret it.
Besides, it was just a drink. Right?
“Please, Tabby,” he said.
Nobody else ever called me that, before or since. I looked into his eyes. I put my hand momentarily on his shoulder. I didn’t have the willpower to refuse.
“Just one drink?” I said.
“If that’s all you have time for.”
“Okay. I get off at eleven.”
His smile lit the room.
“I’ll be waiting outside when you’re done.”