Sharlene pulled the Bamboozles from her pocket and grinned as she looked at her sister. This was going to be so much fun. Their Uncle Kelly was a real comedian at times and they couldn’t wait to see his reaction.
She placed the small box on the cabinet and smiled at her favorite uncle. He had just walked in, gave a weak smile to his nieces, and was taking off his muddy boots at the door. His thin blond hair was tousled from the wind, the corners of his eyes and his forehead were creased with age, and his face had signs of worry. He was quiet and sober. They needed to get him out of the dumps. After all, that was the very reason they were here on the ranch, to uplift and help their uncle.
“Well, I guess I’d better get cleaned up before supper,” said Kelly as he pushed his fingers through his hair. “What are we having tonight?”
It was the twins’ turn to fix supper. They had been taking turns with their uncle each night preparing the meals and he seemed to enjoy the food they prepared.
Uncle Kelly leaned over the mixture Sharlene was stirring, sniffed it, and then asked, “What’s that?”
“We’re having Chicken Salad Wrap.”
“Salad? That’s all?” Kelly said as he wrinkled his nose. “That’s rabbit food! That’s not a meal for a hard-working rancher. I invited my foreman to supper, too. What’s he going to think?”
“Tony?” asked Sharlene as her hand flew to her hair. “You’ve invited Tony?”
“Yes! And your hair looks just fine, young lady.” Kelly grinned. “You worry too much.”
“Don’t forget the crushed pineapple,” said Faith as she handed Sharlene the can.
“Pineapple? In salad? What on earth are you making?”
As he watched Faith chop grapes in half, his eyebrows lifted with curiosity. When she spooned them into the salad mixture, his face went pale. “Why did you do that?”
“It’s part of the recipe, Uncle Kelly. Just be patient. You’ll love it.”
He shook his head. “What am I going to tell Tony?”
Faith stepped forward and said with firm resolution. “That our food is fit for hard working men. It’s not rabbit food by a long shot. You judge too quickly.”
“Salad’s salad, my dear Faith.”
“It’s not ordinary salad. You put it on a tortilla.”
“A tortilla?” he asked. “What kind of salad goes on a tortilla?”
“Chopped chicken, celery, green onion, pineapple, and red grapes.”
“Whoever heard of pineapple and grapes in chicken salad?”
“Don’t worry so much,” said Sharlene.
When Faith saw the skeptical look on her uncle’s face, she just wanted to laugh out loud. “I promise you’ll love it.”
Kelly groaned as he made his way to the bathroom. The girls couldn’t hear what he was mumbling, but they knew they had to raise his spirits. He was not only worrying about the ranch but also what he was about to eat.
A knock was heard at the front door and Sharlene sucked in her breath. She quickly primped herself in the half bath next to the kitchen while Faith answered the door. Then she took out an extra plate, utensils, and glass.
As she sat them on the table, she heard Tony clearing his throat. She quickly turned around. He was smiling, watching her every move, and twisting his hat in his hands as he said, “Thanks for having me.”
She gave a coy smile. “I’m glad you could come but Uncle Kelly seems to think you won’t like our cooking.”
As he placed his hat on the hat rack, he said, “I’d like anything you made, Sharlene.”
The smile he gave her almost melted her in her tracks. Why did his smile and sweet low voice have such an effect on her?
When Kelly came down the hall, he gave a broad smile and then shook his head. “Tony, I’ve got to apologize.”
“For what?”
“We’re having rabbit food on a tortilla…”
Before he could say any more, Faith swatted him playfully on the arm.
“Oops!” said Kelly. “I guess you never insult a cook. Huh?”
“That’s right,” said Faith as she placed the salad bowl on the table.
Sharlene put the warm tortillas on a plate and handed it to her uncle. “Make yourself useful, Uncle Kelly.”
“Useful, huh?” He looked at the steaming hot tortillas and then at Tony. “All I can say is when I put these girls in charge of food every other day, I thought they’d serve us meat and potatoes.”
“What?” said Faith. “This is much better.”
Kelly shook his head as he put the plate on the table. “Nothing’s better than roast beef and potatoes, my girl.”
Tony chuckled, and then sat down at the table. He wasn’t getting into this. The last thing he wanted to do was offend the cooks.
After everyone was seated, Uncle Kelly blessed the food with extra emphasis on the salad, feeling it might really need it. Then Sharlene taught her uncle and Tony how to spoon the salad fixings onto the tortilla and fold it inside.
Tony followed her instructions, took a bite of his wrap, and then smiled. “Mmmm.” He took another bite and said the same thing. “Mmmm.”
“Is it good?” asked Sharlene.
Tony nodded as he swallowed. “The best! Fabulous! Delicious!”
Kelly stared at him with a grin. Tony was such a good sport. He was making the girls feel good about their faux pas. He would have to take him out for a hamburger afterwards to fill him up. Real men don’t eat salad for a main dish. These girls will soon get the gist of living on a ranch.
After fixing his chicken wrap, Uncle Kelly took a bite. What he tasted was not what he had expected! His eyes widened. He took another bite and then another. Before long, he was dishing up a second serving.
“A second?” asked Faith with a giggle. “I thought you didn’t like rabbit food.”
Kelly cleared his throat and said sheepishly, “Another thing you have to realize is that a man hates to admit he’s wrong.” After a moment of silence, he grinned. “I was wrong, girls. This is great.”
Tony nodded in agreement. “I’ll second that.”
Towards the ending of the meal, Sharlene looked at her uncle and asked, “Are you up for dessert?”
“Dessert?” asked Kelly as he rubbed his belly. “You should have said something before I stuffed myself.”
“Stuffed?” Sharlene giggled. “So you like my rabbit food?”
Kelly laughed. “Sorry about that. I was feeling sort of ornery when I walked in. I didn’t mean to…”
She held up her hand. “Apology accepted.” She placed a small box on the table and grinned. “This is dessert.”
“Jelly beans?” asked Kelly with enthusiasm. “My favorite. How did you know?”
Faith smiled mischievously. “They’re special jellybeans, Uncle Kelly. They’re not the ordinary run-of-the-meal jellybeans. We bought them just for you. A gift!”
Kelly took the box and began reading the back of it. His eyes popped open and then he stared at the girls with disbelief.
The twins burst into laughter.
Tony lifted his brow as he took the box from Kelly’s hand and read the contents. He chuckled and then handed it back. “They’re all yours, Kelly. I’m not in the mood for dessert.”
“Will you try one, Uncle Kelly?” Sharlene asked. “Please?”
“What fool created these flavors?” he blurted out.
The twins giggled and Kelly grinned. He loved making the girls laugh. He stuck a finger in the box and pulled out a jellybean. He sniffed it. It didn’t smell any different than a regular jellybean.
“All right,” said Kelly with a furrowed brow. “How do I know this one isn’t vomit flavored? It says here that the vomit is the same color of pink as the strawberry. That’s deceiving!”
Tony chuckled, and his shoulders were bouncing with amusement.
“That’s right, you don’t know,” said Sharlene as she stifled a giggle. “That’s the fun of it.”
He pulled out a yellow one and checked the box. “This one says it’s either delicious pear or moldy cheese.” He stared at the girls with a grin. “Hmmm, will you girls eat one if I do?”
Sharlene giggled. “We bought them for you.”
“But I want to share…”
They shook their heads as they laughed.
“That’s not fair. We need to make this deal a little sweeter. Don’t you think?”
Sharlene nodded. “Okay. How about if Faith and I wash the dishes tonight? All you have to do is eat four jellybeans.”
He thought about it. The agreement was that he would wash on the days they cooked and visa versa. He looked at the dirty dishes piled in the sink. That was a good deal. He liked it. All he had to do was eat four little jellybeans. He looked at the girls’ hopeful faces and then grinned. He was willing to try something different, especially if it got him out of dish duty. Besides, he loved entertaining the girls.
Kelly stuck the pink jellybean in his mouth and began to chew. He smiled. “Mmmm. Strawberry. Thank goodness! I wasn’t in the mood of tasting vomit.”
When the girls laughed, he grinned. Hopefully his luck would hold out. Kelly took the yellow jellybean in his fingers and looked at it.
“It could be moldy cheese,” warned Sharlene.
“No problem. I’ve had that on sandwiches before.”
“Really? Why would you do that?” asked Sharlene.
“Simply because I didn’t see the mold. I think I need glasses. I’m getting old.”
The girls laughed at his sense of humor.
He popped the jellybean in his mouth and then smiled, “Mmmm.”
Faith said, “Lucky! He got the pear flavor.”
Kelly shook his head. “Naw. It tastes just like one of my sandwiches, except without the mayonnaise.”
The girls giggled and Tony slapped the table with laughter.
Kelly stuck his finger in the box and pulled out four jellybeans. He stared at them, trying to figure out which color to choose next. What a decision! He looked at Tony and then placed them in front of him on the table.
“No sir,” said Tony as he shook his head adamantly. “I don’t have the stomach. What if I get the vomit one?”
“I’m not asking you to eat it. I want you to pick one. I’m not sure which one to choose next.”
“In that case…” Tony smiled as he chose a reddish brown jellybean and handed it to Kelly.
The girls looked at the package and snickered.
“What?” asked Tony.
They gave the little box to him and he cringed as he read what flavor he had picked.
Seeing the expression on his face, Kelly asked, “Well? What flavor is it?”
“I’m not sure if you want to try this one, Sir.”
“Why? What is it?”
“Well, maybe it’s best if you don’t know what it is. Then you won’t anticipate what’s coming.”
Kelly smiled. “I can handle anything. But I need to know what it is before I eat it.”
Faith smiled as she said, “It’s either Red Raspberry or Red Hot Salsa Mix.”
“Salsa? I love salsa.”
“Well, it says that it’s got a mixture of different peppers. It has Jalapeno, Cayenne, Anaheim, Habanero, and Serrano.”
She had just read the top hottest peppers ever made by Mother Nature. Kelly pulled a face that made the girls giggle. Was he up to it? Hal had made some pretty stout salsa before and he had endured it just fine. Perhaps he could endure this, also.
He slapped the table firmly with the palm of his hand as he said, “I’m tough. I can handle it. Couldn’t be any worse than Hal’s salsa. Right?”
The girls were amazed. He was going to keep his word. He must really hate dishes. Kelly held the little bean between his fingers, eyeing it for a moment, and then popped it in his mouth and began chewing.
He smiled at first as if it didn’t affect him one bit. But with each bite, his eyes began to water. His nose flared open and he gasped for air. And… just for effect, he rolled his eyes and panted. He shook his head and pounded his chest with his fist as he said, “Whoa, Dolly!”
He quickly grabbed a glass of water and swallowed, gulping it down as he pounded the table with his fist. He took a breath and then gulped some more.
Faith burst into laughter. Sharlene was laughing so hard that her sides were aching. And Tony was slapping his knee as he chuckled. Kelly was hilarious. In fact, everyone suspected that it wasn’t an act at all. If the hot peppers were as hot as they were in salsa, then he was not exaggerating.
Kelly was still taking in quick breaths as if he was going to be sick. He quickly grabbed a tortilla, stuffed it in his mouth and began chewing. His eyes were watering, his nose was bright red, and his face was pale. The tortilla was a lifesaver.
After a few moments, Sharlene said sympathetically, “Uncle Kelly, you don’t have to eat the last one.”
He shook his head. “I’m not in the mood of dishes. Besides, how much worse can the others be?”
“What did it taste like?” asked Tony between spurts of laughter.
“Salsa with a touch of hell!” When he realized what he had just said, he quickly amended his description. “Sorry girls! I meant a touch of fire.”
The girls laughed.
“Only one more.” Sharlene said as she handed him two of the same color and said, “How about these? Want to be daring?”
“Daring?” Kelly scratched his head as he looked at the speckled tan jellybeans. “I don’t like the sound of that. What flavor is it?”
“It’s either bonfire or marshmallow.”
Kelly looked relieved. “Okay.”
He eyed them both, contemplated for a moment, and then popped them both in his mouth and chewed.
“Both?” asked Faith.
As he chewed, Kelly smiled. “Mmmm. It reminds me of my Boy Scout days when I used to roast marshmallows over a bonfire.”
The girls grinned. Kelly was such a good sport.
“Uncle Kelly,” said Sharlene. “We’ll do the dishes. You need to rest. Besides, you earned it.”
Kelly stood and then turned to Tony and said, “It was well worth it. I don’t much care for dishes.”
Tony slapped him on the back and said, “I would have taken the dishes.”