Mother Teresa received crucial assistance concerning her spiritual life through various counselors whom God provided along the way, most especially when she faced the excruciating interior darkness that lasted for decades. She was immersed in a deep interior trial, as one of her guides attests:

In our meetings, Mother Teresa began to speak about the trials of her inner life and her inability to disclose them to anyone….I was deeply impressed by the honesty and simplicity of her account, and the deep anxiety she was going through in utter darkness: Was she on the right path or had she become the victim of a network of illusions? Why had God abandoned her totally? Why this darkness, whereas in her earlier life she had been so close to God? She had to lead her sisters, initiate them into the love of God and into a life of prayer, which had been wiped out in her own life as she lived in total emptiness: Had she become a shameful hypocrite who spoke to others about the divine mysteries which had totally vanished from her own heart?1

As she agonized through such a long and painful interior trial, she was deeply grateful for the counsel and support she received from the few spiritual directors with whom she was able to share this suffering. Having experienced firsthand the relief that good counsel can bring to a weary soul, she was eager to offer counsel to whomever was in need of it.

Mother Teresa had a notable gift to be able to set at peace a “restless and troubled mind.” Her method was simple: first she would listen. She would listen attentively to the account being related to her, but even more she would listen to the pain and confusion that accompanied it. At times it was said that she could “read hearts.” She could certainly demonstrate a remarkable understanding and compassion that indicated that her heart was open to share in another’s suffering. Constantly aware of her own weakness, especially her interior darkness, she assumed a humble and unpretentious attitude toward all. This attitude helped many to be completely open with her and to experience her compassion. In this heart-to-heart exchange, she was able to listen without prejudice and without a judgmental attitude, giving advice in a way that was often unexpected. With her “vision of faith,” she was able to look at the issue at hand from “God’s perspective” and then point people in the right direction.

In listening to or advising others, Mother Teresa promoted neither a personal agenda nor a preconceived solution. She was open to learn from the situation, looking for a way to resolve the issues as circumstances unfolded. Even when the solution to their difficulty or situation was not immediate, people found solace in her advice and guidance. While she didn’t claim to have an instant solution, it often was, in a certain sense, “instant” because she was able to orient the issue to God in prayer, trusting that He would take care of it.

HER WORDS

I Give What I Have

Deep down in every human heart there is a knowledge of God. And deep down in every human heart there is the desire to communicate with Him. And therefore, the word that I speak…is true, because I am a Catholic, and a sister totally [consecrated] in vows to God. Naturally I can only give what I have. But I think everybody…knows deep down in their hearts that there is God, and that we have been created to love and to be loved; that we have not been created to be just a number in the world. But we have been created for some purpose, and that purpose is to be love, to be compassion, to be goodness, to be joy, to serve.

You see that in animal life [even], there is love between animals, there is the love of the mother animal to the little child, to the little animal to which she has given birth; it is engraved in us, that love. So I don’t think it is difficult for you; you can express that in your own words; but you know very well that every single…person…knows that God IS love, and that God loves them, otherwise they would not be, they would not exist; and that God wants us to love one another as He loves us. We all know! Everybody knows—how God loves you. Each one of us knows. Because otherwise we cannot exist. The proof of our existence is that God—somebody who is higher, somebody who is greater—is holding us, protecting us.

Life is life, and the most beautiful gift of God to a human family, to the nation, and to the whole world [is] the child. And therefore if the child is born a disabled child, we cannot destroy it. We cannot destroy the unborn child; we cannot destroy the born child. If your parents did not want you, you would not be here today. If my mother didn’t want me, there would be no Mother Teresa. So I think it is good that our parents wanted us. And it is for us to help our people. If a mother is not able to take care of that deserted child, it is for you and for me to help them to take care of that child. That is the gift of God to that family.2

Our Heavenly Father Will Provide

Malcolm Muggeridge, a British journalist and author, made a documentary on Mother Teresa and her work. He had many questions about the faith, but was eventually received into the Catholic Church at seventy-nine years of age. The following is a letter from Mother Teresa to him.

God, our Heavenly Father who takes care of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air—we are much more important to Him than the birds and the flowers of the field—has provided abundantly all these years, is providing and will provide. You remember our TV talk, how neither you nor I never spoke or asked for money and see what God did.3

Unless You Become a Little Child

I think I understand you better now. I am afraid I could not [provide an] answer to your deep suffering….I don’t know why, but you to me are like Nicodemus [Jn 3:1], and I am sure the answer is the same—“Unless you become a little child” [Mt 18:3]. I am sure you will understand beautifully everything—if you would only “become” a little child in God’s hands.

Your longing for God is so deep and yet He keeps Himself away from you. He must be forcing Himself to do so, because He loves you so much, as to give Jesus to die for you and for me—Christ is longing to be your food. Surrounded with the fullness of living food, you allow yourself to starve. The personal love Christ has for you is infinite. The small difficulty you have regarding His Church is finite. Overcome the finite with the infinite. Christ has created you, because He wanted you. I know what you feel—terrible longing—with dark emptiness—and yet He is the one in Love with you.4

Let It All Be for Him

I think now more than ever you should use the beautiful gift God has given you for His greater glory. All that you have and all that you are—and all that you can be and do—let it all be for Him and Him alone. Today what is happening on the surface of the Church will pass. For Christ, the Church is the same—today, yesterday, and tomorrow. The apostles went through the same feelings of fear and distrust, failure and disloyalty, and yet Christ did not scold them—just “little children—little faith—why did you fear?” I wish we could love as He did—now!5

Your Home Must Come First

You had once asked me to leave the Co-Workers [because] it takes you from [your wife] and the children. They come first. I will miss you, but your home must come first. You could remain a Co-Worker without having the burden of a chairman, as you already have so much to do with the Order of Charity. I still keep praying for this, but your home is first. You and [your wife] must decide. Your happiness and love for each other is the only thing I want for you—whether you are in or out of the Co-Workers. [You and your wife] will always be the same to me.6

Only Cling to the Living Christ

Your nephew, like so many in this hard and sad time of fight for the faith, is going through his purification. If he only clings to the living Christ—the Eucharist—he will come from his darkness radiant with new light—Christ.7

Respect Each One as a Child of God

Respecting each person as a child of God—my brother, my sister. I know how trying this must be at times. If you find it hard to see Jesus in the distressing disguise of someone, see that person in the Heart of Jesus. He loves her with the same love with which He loves you. This will help you to greater love, especially to the one most in need of it. You are in my daily prayer as you have done so much for Jesus in the Co-Workers. May Mary, the Mother of Jesus, be Mother to you.8

Do Not Play with Fire

Counsels of Mother Teresa to a priest having difficulties.

It is perfectly true that you are fully free to decide, but remember: in the parish you were very happy and you really did very well, all for Jesus. And you had the great love of your parents and the cardinal and your people—yet after much prayer you gave it up to be an MC deliberately. Knowingly [you] chose to be the Poorest of the Poor—chose to be an MC and so belong to a community. I have your [earlier] letters—they are full of the spirit and the joy of MC.

I am very sure the devil is trying his utmost to break through and destroy the little community. Don’t allow him to use you as his weapon. This is your chance for Total Surrender. Give Jesus a free hand to do with you as He wants, a true MC. You know Mother’s love for you. All these years you have been longing for this—and now when it is yours, do not lose it. This trial is a gift of Jesus to you to draw you closer to Himself so that you can share His Passion with Him. Remember, He has espoused you in tenderness and love, and to make this union more living [He] made you His priest—His Eucharist. You have as much vocation to be an MC as I—to be an MC Priest of the Poorest of the Poor. Do not play with fire—fire burns and destroys.

Pray often during the day: Jesus, in my heart I believe in Your tender love for me, I love You, and I want to be only all for You through Mary as an MC. Let us pray.9

Smile

Mother’s advice to a schoolgirl.

Smile. Whenever you meet anyone, greet him with a smile. The utility of smiling is that it will keep you always acceptable to everyone. At the same time it will make you, your face, look beautiful. If you are ever angry, try to smile rather forcefully and soon you will see, you have forgotten your anger, smiling with everybody.10

Jesus, Be in This Person

When you speak, look at the person in front of you. Say this prayer in your mind: Jesus, be now in this person when I speak to him and help me to see You in him. Bless me, so that I may speak to him with all sincerity, as I would speak to You. Look at me through his eyes and help me to succeed. If I fail to please You in this person, give me courage that I can bear the pain meekly and cheerfully.11

HER EXAMPLE: THE TESTIMONIES

Coming with Frowns and Scowls, Going Away with Radiant Faces

Although Mother had to deal with crowds whenever she attended a meeting, she always gave much time, attention, and interest to individuals. I often marveled at her untiring energy, her calmness, and her charming smiles that seemed to have an effect stronger than analgesic drugs. I have seen people coming to her with personal problems, with frowns and scowls, who a little later went away with radiant faces. She had the gift of touching hearts with peace, of anointing them with the oil of gladness and joy. She wrote to us, “God did such great things for all of us, especially for you….If we only let Him do it, He does it so beautifully. With some help I am sure you will make it into a real Nazareth, where Jesus can come and rest awhile with you. I am really happy for you….The sunshine breaks all darkness, even spiritual darkness. I saw your faces full of smiles already, thank God.”12

What Can I Do For You?

When [someone] came to her, she did not question whether he was a sinner or a good person….She was always ready with a smile or a word or a medal, a message or something. “What can I do for you?”

She had a tremendous capacity to listen to people, and to hear what they were really saying, even behind their words. She was wise and always was welcoming.13

What Would Jesus Do?

As I came up the steps, she pulled me across. “Father, I have to speak to you immediately.”…[She] said, “Father, I got a phone call this morning from the governor….” “What did he want, Mother?” “He wanted to know if he should pass the order of execution on this man…who had murdered two people in cold blood, and the people were demanding that he be put to death, and the governor wanted to know what he should do—should he give him life imprisonment or the death sentence. I don’t know why he should ask me, Father, I just don’t understand the situation. So I told the governor I would pray about it. ‘You call back later.’ So he insisted he was going to call back at eight-thirty.” “Oh Mother, I understand he is a politician. If he passes the death sentence, he favors one group: if life imprisonment, he favors another group. He wants you to get him out of the trouble.” “Oh now I understand, Father.” After some days, I got a note, I have the Xerox copy here. It says, “When the governor called I told him that ‘you must do what Jesus would do if you were in His place.’ ”14

Mother Never Embarrassed Her

In 1997 a well-to-do lady came to Mother for help. She had a serious drinking problem and had failed in her many efforts to break the habit….The lady fell on her knees beside Mother’s wheelchair, sobbing. Mother never embarrassed her but with great kindness and gentleness told her to spend some time before Jesus in the tabernacle and to pour out her troubled soul to Him as a friend would do. In that short time, you could actually perceive grace at work. This lady spent the next hour deep in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Mother returned to her room after prayer and she was quiet and pensive, but she never mentioned anything about that lady’s struggle. The beautiful thing was I saw that lady return the next day and make her confession. I will never forget the radiant peace of her face. She promised to hand over her salary for the sisters to hold in case it would lead her into temptation again. She had made a firm resolution to turn away from alcohol.15

My Answer Is “Silence”

Fourteen women had gathered before [Mother]. A young lady came forward to ask what she should do when her husband argues with her, making faces and often using harsh words. “Shall we quarrel and retaliate? What shall we do, Mother?” the ladies asked again. [Mother] remained silent. Silence was then freezing on the other side too: an uncomfortable situation. But then Mother smiled and she said, “My answer is, ‘Silence.’ You would remain silent. Silent not in fear or oppression, not in weak heart or in thought that you may be thrown out of your own place. But silence to show your deep hatred, your disliking toward all harshness and ugliness. Remember, there is God in you and God in the person you face at home; he too is Jesus! God wants us to show our strength of mind, our obedience toward truth and beauty, our calm and fortitude of mind, because we believe in Him. We cannot do what may make God sad. To have faith in Him is to have faith in yourself, your mind, and your inner God, who lives in our heart. When I say, ‘Love one another as He loves you!’ let us not forget that God has given us His best love. He has also put His essence of love into our heart, so that we can give the same love to others. Give your love even to those who appear brute to you, so that you do not [make] the same mistake as he did [with] you. Silently, with your action, make him understand that he is really missing something in his life—he is missing [loving] you. He is cultivating ugly wrath and hatred, selfishness, and ill behavior in himself. God made him beautiful too, but he is destroying his own beauty. He will realize it someday. But don’t put yourself to cultivating the same as him. Let us remember, fire cannot be put [out] with another fire. We need water. Water to destroy fire. Similarly, let us give beauty against all ugliness. Kindness against all rudeness. Good words against brute words. Even if you ask for separation, do it with love and friendship, not hostility.”

Several questions in between were asked to Mother regarding divorce, separation, atrocities to women, etc. In reply to another question, Mother said, “Let us unite in a family and not separate. Let us not forget that, if we ask for a divorce, we also choose to pain our children with our cruel decision. Let us pray from the first day of our conjugal life, so that we may live together. The family that prays together, stays together. Let us make prayer a daily habit. Prayer not to murmur a few words and spend some time, but prayer with the heart and fervent wish, prayer that should come from within. We do not unite (a husband and wife) to separate, but to face the challenges of life united.”16

As Bombay Burned

During the riots of 1992–93, as Bombay burned, many citizens rushed to the city’s aid. Two of them came up with a unique idea. There was no one who could bring the message of peace more effectively to this troubled city than Mother Teresa. Unfortunately, Mother Teresa’s health was failing. It would be impossible for her to make the journey to the city. [They] then found a solution. A team of filmmakers would fly down to Calcutta together and film a message from Mother. This message would be telecast on all the major channels, as well as on cable television. [They] contacted Mother Teresa, who immediately agreed. When the team reached the Mother House in Calcutta, they found the nuns not very welcoming. Mother Teresa had been unwell the night before, yet she had insisted on going out early that morning to visit the riot victims in Calcutta. The team decided to wait for Mother Teresa. Early that evening she returned. She looked exhausted. However, when she saw Dr. P, she broke into a smile. She said she was ready to start filming immediately. But first she felt the team should eat something. “They must be hungry,” she said to one of the nuns, “they have come a long way.” The team was given a simple meal of bread and butter, bananas and tea. They all agreed that it was one of the nicest meals they had ever eaten.

For the next few hours Mother Teresa worked with the film crew. It was demanding work, but she never faltered. Even when she was asked to do yet another take because of some technical fault or flaw, she never complained. Her message to Bombay’s citizens was, as always, simple yet effective. She asked them to love each other as brothers, to be good to each other, to care for each other.

The next morning, the team had to leave Calcutta at five a.m. Mother Teresa was there at the gate to wish them good-bye. Barefooted, with a rosary in her hand, she said a short prayer for all of them. As they left she pressed a few medals of Our Lady into their hands. Even today, six years later, all of them have those medals. In times of stress and trouble, those medals blessed by Mother Teresa bring them solace and peace. Mother Teresa’s message was broadcast the following week over all the major channels. No one who saw it was unaffected. It was a message of love and peace from God’s chosen messenger.17

The Best Teacher Is Our Lady

I took the superior’s promise just with Mother. After the promise, Mother gave me a small instruction. Mother told me to put my hand in Mary’s hand and take each step with Mary. I also asked Mother how to pray better. Mother told me, “The best teacher is Our Lady,” and to ask [Our Lady] to teach me to pray as she taught Jesus. She also told me to do every action with a prayer and do it for God and not for anyone else to see. Look at Our Lady; she pondered His words in her heart. If I want to be a true MC, I must learn that silence which enables me to ponder His words in my heart and so grow in love. “Be open to Our Lady,” Mother said, “like a child is open to her mother. Tell her everything that you have in mind. She is there to help you in your everyday need. Pray the Rosary daily and with devotion, and place yourself with Mary in each of the mysteries.” During those precious moments, I felt Mother was there just for me. Her whole concern for me was to be a true MC, as Mother always wants us to be….She was a real mother to me.18

How Proud I Was

I was appointed superior. I felt I was so small, an inexperienced person, etc. Therefore, I wrote to Mother on this matter, how will I be able to take up such a big responsibility? I was so young, thirty-one years old. I’m [such an] insignificant person; I was afraid: a big community, with a formation center, an apostolate such as Shishu Bhavan, Nirmal Hriday, dispensaries, leprosy work, shipments, the Co-Workers of Mother Teresa, etc. I thought I had written a very humble letter. In answer to this, I got a nice letter in return telling me how proud I was, that I wanted to do all the work myself, instead of allowing Jesus to do the work through me. I never expected such a letter, but it opened my eyes, taught me to surrender, and thanks be to God my mission…was a success. Praise the Lord.19

The Devil Just Wants to Disturb You

In London, I was on night duty in our home for homeless women. A big fire broke out, and before I even knew there was a fire, ten women had lost their lives because of that fire. During tertianship, the devil began to taunt me, telling me the fire and deaths were my fault. It became a mantra, which I could hear in my head and in my heart. I tried to push it away with reason, because of all the years of peace I had experienced, but it would not go away. Mother came to Rome to receive our vows, and although I had a long talk with Mother, I did not mention this taunting. I had a gnawing sense that I should speak with Mother, but I kept arguing that Mother was too busy and it really wasn’t necessary.

Finally, the day of profession arrived and it was nearly time to leave for the Church. I made the decision to mention this to Mother. I walked into Mother’s room and Mother was alone. I began to speak: “Mother, please may I speak with you just for a minute about the fire in London?” Mother stopped me by raising her hand high in the air and saying, “You had nothing to do with that fire. You are not to blame for it. God allowed it to humble us.” I then told Mother I never took the blame before that; I was always in peace until this year. Mother said, “The devil just wants to disturb you because you are taking final vows. He doesn’t want you to take your vows and he hasn’t been able to get you in another way, so he’s trying with this. Go now and be at peace.” With those words Mother blessed me. From that moment, the devil’s taunting stopped and never returned.20

This Sister Should Not Remain an MC

I spoke with Mother about a finally professed sister in the community who, in my observation, had a very serious problem. I believed that because of this, the sister should not remain an MC. I did not tell Mother the name of the sister. When I finished speaking, Mother smiled so lovingly. Understanding was written all over Mother’s countenance. Mother gently looked away and said, “She did not have a mother’s love.” This was absolutely true. The sister’s mother died when she was [very small]. Mother knew I could not help this sister, so Mother told me she would change her. The change took place only six months later. Mother was not in any way as concerned about this as I was, and Mother in no way considered that the sister should be dispensed from her vows.21

Speak Also Beautiful Things

In the community there was some problem among the sisters. And I found very often that my superior was crying. I used to notice very often that many senior sisters were going to Mother House. One fine morning Mother arrived in the community. She gathered all of us and gave us an instruction. Mother said, “I am so happy that some of you come to see me and inform me about what is happening in your community, but remember, sisters, Mother is not a dustbin. Don’t speak only ugly things to Mother. Mother also likes to hear about the beautiful things about the sisters. Come and tell Mother all the good things that are happening. Your superior is a beautiful person. Speak also beautiful things about her.” Mother encouraged all of us to find all that is beautiful in our superior and speak to Mother when next time Mother comes.22

Reaching Out in Love

A rich woman came to Mother and asked her to bring peace between her and her daughter. Mother advised her to do little acts of love for her daughter, without letting her know that it was she who was doing it (e.g., put on her table a flower that she likes, prepare the food that she likes, etc.). And it did work. The daughter was touched by the effort the mother was making to reach out to her in love.23

Make Sure to Smile

One time I was visiting Mother and she sensed that I was just not myself. I told her that I had had a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding with my own superior. I was feeling quite down about it. She took me by the hand and gave me some practical motherly advice. She said I should find some excuse to meet with my superior as soon as possible and make sure to smile all the while [that I was] with [that superior]. She said she always did that whenever she might have had a difficult moment with one of her sisters.24

I Do It for You

“I shall not do it. He is not good. I don’t work for bad people.” I was quite in wrath. The person standing before me was Mother Teresa, listening to all my angry words. “If you are in trouble,” said Mother, “and quite compelled to do something for a person you dislike, do it like this.” Then spreading her right palm in front of my face, she touched her right little finger with her left thumb and said, “I do it for You,” starting with “I” on the little finger, she ended with “You” on the thumb. The five fingers she touched for five words. “Commit your work to God and say to yourself, ‘God, this work I am not doing for the wretched person. I do it for You.’ And do it for God. Let your mind be an instrument of His will and your hands do His work. If you practice this, you will find so many of the works that we dislike have smoothly been done without paining you.” I found this a simple but effective method to do many works that at times are so essential and yet so much disliked.25

Carry On, Sister!

Another time we went to Otis Street [on the occasion of] a final profession at the basilica. On this one day, Sister M. was taking out the garbage, and she used the back shortcut so she wouldn’t have to see the visitors. She was carrying a big black plastic bag of garbage. Mother came charging out of one of the back rooms almost on a run; she dodged me but ran smack into the bag of garbage held by a shocked Sister M., who froze and didn’t know what to do. Mother simply laughed and instead of being annoyed because the garbage bag was beginning to drip, took the bag out of Sister’s hands and waited for her to become composed, and put it back in her hands again. “Carry on, Sister!”26

REFLECTION

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” (Mt 11:28–30)

“Christ, who being rich became poor and emptied Himself to work out our Redemption, calls us to bear witness to the true face of Jesus, poor, humble, and friend of sinners, the weak and the despised.”27

Am I open enough to seek and accept the counsel of others when I am in doubt, in confusion, in darkness? Do I act impulsively in a situation where I lack clarity, or do I seek the advice of others? Am I humble enough to consider others’ advice and to take it into account?

Am I willing to listen to others? Do I take time to listen? Am I patient with others who are in doubt and darkness? Is the advice that I offer the fruit of my prayer, my reflection, and my intention to do the best for the person in need? Is my advice mixed with my own agenda or does it reflect a lack of real concern?

PRAYER

Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit,

that my thoughts may all be holy.

Act in me, O Holy Spirit,

that my work, too, may be holy.

Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit,

that I love but what is holy.

Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit,

to defend all that is holy.

Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit,

that I always may be holy.

—Saint Augustine’s prayer to the Holy Spirit, prayed daily by Mother Teresa