Patience, serenity, and evenness of character were qualities that those around Mother Teresa noticed in her. Her characteristic calm was a sign of a well-balanced and mortified person who could place things in proper perspective and accept trials as a part of life. She demonstrated this admirable equanimity especially when she was treated unjustly by others. Even when she was being wronged, slighted, or misunderstood, she was patient; she knew that these deeds were done by poor, weak, and sinful human beings like herself, and thus she could be tolerant and even gracious.
In a vision that she had at the very birth of the Missionaries of Charity, Mother Teresa had seen Christ crucified bearing all possible wrongs patiently out of love for her and for all. She was thus eager to do likewise in imitation of Him and to show her love for Him. “If I am the spouse of Jesus Crucified, then I must have some resemblance to Him—some sharing of identity with Him to show that I belong to Him.” Practicing forbearance was thus an opportunity for her to quench His thirst for love. At the same time, she would be united to the poorest of the poor, who daily suffer many wrongs and injustices. It is only natural to struggle to accept and persevere in bearing the wrong done to us. Our first reaction might be to avoid certain situations, and that may be the right thing to do. However, there will always be situations impossible to evade, so it will be necessary to face the wrong done to us either intentionally or unintentionally. Mother Teresa never expected special treatment nor demanded special privileges, but even when she was treated worse than others, she was able to respond generously. At times it was a question of willing to be a victim of others’ limitations, selfishness, or lack of thoughtfulness, but she accepted people’s behavior without letting others notice that she had been wronged.
Ultimately, she saw these trials or wrongs as being permitted by God for reasons that she might not always be able to understand, but she knew He could draw good from them, as Saint Paul affirms in Romans 8:28 (“God makes all things work for the good of those who love Him”). She thus willingly accepted these trials and sufferings, and, uniting them to the Cross of Christ, she offered them for her own purification and for the salvation and sanctification of souls.
When the situation was reversed and she had wronged someone, she made it a point to be the first one to apologize. But going even further, she would be the first one to seek reconciliation even when she was not the one who had done wrong.
HER WORDS
Back at Home
I remember my mother and father; they could have a difference of opinion, but afterward my mother used to look at the clock, as she knew the time when my father was coming home, and [she would] run upstairs to make herself up every day. We used to play tricks on her. It was so beautiful. They could disagree, but they used to come back together as if nothing had happened, day after day. You see this is something we have to learn from our parents, their care for each other.1
Share the Passion
It is very natural because we are human beings and our Lord must have felt like that sometimes, even crying, and He felt very lonely, and…when He was dying, He said, “Why have you forsaken Me?” [Mk 15:34] The greatest suffering of Jesus was His loneliness, His rejection in Gethsemane. I feel that the Passion of Christ in Gethsemane was much, much, much harder for Him to accept than the Passion of the Crucifixion because the very heart of Christ was crucified by being rejected, by being left alone, by being unwanted, unloved, uncared [for]—just left alone like that. And I think we, if we really belong to Jesus, then we must experience that loneliness; we must have that experience, that feeling of being unwanted even by Him sometimes. He must have a free hand. If He chooses like that, all right,…so we have to tell Jesus, “Okay.” If He wants us to share that Passion of Gethsemane, it’s only being relived, and if we really belong to Jesus, we must experience that Passion of Christ. We must experience it. And [it is] sometimes a long time, sometimes a short time, maybe—it depends; He’s the Master, He can choose. He can come to us in His Passion, He can come to us in His resurrection, He can come to us as a child, as a preacher, in whatever form He wants to come.2
People are very hard to deal with, but Jesus said when they slap one side, show the other side [Mt 5:39]. Sometimes they hurt us. Be happy, share in the Passion of Christ. Stress that point, look up and see Him. If we are humble like Mary and holy like Jesus, they will see Jesus in us and we will see Jesus in them.3
Why was Jesus humiliated and crucified? For our sake. It was a terrible humiliation, difficult to accept the Crucifixion—He perspired blood. Also in our life we may have to face many situations—very painful. For Jesus there was no “Oh, but,…” no condition. It was a terrible humiliation for Jesus, and we claim to be the spouses of Jesus Crucified. Examine yourself: How did you accept [humiliation]? Have you grown in that tender love?4
Then we see Him on the Cross. He could have come down when they were asking Him to do so. Very easily He could have done it. They would have been all frightened and walked away. He could have done that in Gethsemane, but for love of you and me, He remained on the Cross. Let us not try to escape the Cross or humiliation but grab the chance to be like Him, to live His Passion in us. A carrier of love means a carrier of the Cross. If I want to be a true MC, I must be a real carrier of the Cross. Maybe, carrying the Cross on the way we fall. It is very beautiful to make the Stations of the Cross, in seeing Our Lady meet Jesus on the way, or asking Simon to help you carry [the Cross] when you fall on the way. So many people were on the way to Calvary—Our Lady, Simon, Veronica, the women. Are we Veronica to our sisters in the community? Are we a Simon to our superiors? Are we a mother to our poor as Mary was to Jesus at the Fourth Station [of the Cross]? Ask Jesus to deepen your love.5
Remember What We Have Done to Hurt Our Lord
We are surprised how the people hurt Jesus: they slapped Him, spat on Him. What we throw in the drain, we throw on Jesus. And Jesus—not a word. Each time, when we say ugly things, uncharitable words, we are doing the same thing to Jesus—“You did it to Me.” Terrible…throwing, spitting—that’s where Veronica came in and wiped His face. Spitting on Our Lord—“You did it to Me.” When? Now. We think that what they did, we are not responsible [for]; it is exactly what they did to Him [that] we are doing now. Today I want you to go before the Blessed Sacrament; [go back and examine] in my own family, as an aspirant, postulant—take a direct look at Jesus. Whatever you did to that sister, to that poor person: “I am spitting on Him.” Make this your own and you will see how your whole attitude will change. Just this morning I was with Jesus. Instead of words of love, I give dirt; sin is dirt, that evil. Jesus gives us a word of love. If you want to know if your heart is all right, [examine] your words; my hands are acting, my feet are acting, my tongue is acting through speaking.6
Today see if you can look up at the Cross and say: “For my sins”; “I will get up and go to my Father.”…Let us remember the things that we have done to hurt Our Lord. Why are we—and not [the other sisters]—here today? Maybe others have done [something wrong] only once and they are not here. This is the mystery of God. That is why now we are saying the Rosary in reparation for the sins committed by each one of us, here within our own Society. Let us ask Our Lady to be the Cause of Our Joy by opening our eyes to see sin in our lives.7
Maybe [someone] said a word that hurt me before and that hurt is preventing me from having a clean heart, it is preventing me from seeing Jesus. I will not be able even to pray because only in the silence of the heart, God speaks. If I am not at ease in speaking to God, I [must] examine if my heart is pure. I don’t mean impurity, but something that prevents me [from seeing, from listening]. From the fullness of my heart I speak to God and God listens. We need a clean heart if we really want to pray, to serve the poor.8
You Will Be Able to Face Any Wrongs
I want you to spend your time being alone with Jesus. What does it mean to be alone with Jesus? It doesn’t mean to sit alone with your own thoughts. No, but even in the midst of the work and of people, you know His presence. It means that you know that He is close to you, that He loves you, that you are precious to Him, that He is in love with you. He has called you and you belong to Him. If you know that, you will be all right anywhere, under any superior; you will be able to face any failure, any humiliation, any suffering, if you realize Jesus’s personal love for you and yours for Him. Nothing and nobody! [Rom 8:39] Otherwise you will be so preoccupied with unimportant things that slowly you will be[come] a broken sister.9
Be Ready to Pay the Price He Paid for Souls
Jesus says, “Amen, I say to you, unless the grain of wheat falling into the ground die, itself remaineth alone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit” [Jn 12:24]. The missionary must die daily if she wants to bring souls to God. She must be ready to pay the price He paid for souls, to walk in the way He walked in search [of] souls.10
How very often very small misunderstandings—repeated—become a cause of so much suffering. In the name of Jesus and for the love of Jesus, accept these little gifts from Him. Look up at that little hurt and see the gift of Jesus only. He…accepted so much suffering and humiliations because He loved you. Will you not accept the little correction or hurt because you love Him?11
You write “my vocation”; yes, yours and your husband’s is to let God do with you what He wants. Give Him your eyes, that He may see; your tongue, that He may speak; your Heart, that He may love; your whole being, that people may look up and see only Jesus. You, as you are all only for Jesus, are helping me much more now than all the talks put together. All the sacrifices you had to offer when Bishop broke your Co-Workers—and the result of it all, the great gift the Holy See has given to your Missionaries of Charity, the “Decree of Praise.”* You had to pay for it.12
You are the spouses of Jesus Crucified. Be that joy, that peace wherever you go. Whatever work is given to you, do it with joy. Be heart and soul and mind only all for Jesus. If you are only all for Him, you have nothing to fear. The greatest suffering, the greatest humiliation will be the greatest gift for you.13
A clean heart can see God. “I was hungry, you gave Me to eat; I was naked, you clothed Me.” What does it mean, “You did it to Me”? Are your hearts so pure [that you can] see Jesus in your sisters, even the one that hurt you? Never, never say an uncharitable word.14
Grab the Chance
When the superior corrects you, when she blames you, when you are not at fault, go [in]to yourself for a minute [and examine]. If you are guilty, say sorry. If you are not guilty, grab the chance, offer it for your community, for Mother, for your intentions….Grab the chance because this humiliation will make you a beautiful sister. I can talk to you all day about humility and you will not improve. But by accepting humiliations, you will become a humble sister. And we all have them—humiliations we will have all our life.15
What is your reaction when [you are] reproved or corrected? Examine it. If your reaction is to grumble, then you are not using the eyes of faith. Watch your thoughts, your words, your actions when corrected.16
If I’m really humble, I will answer, “Yes, thank you.” Pride speaks boldly, and it destroys on its way everything that is lovely and beautiful. That word you speak in anger because of that correction—say, “Oh, she is partial”—goes around, and by the time it comes back to you it is something different. Just like that sin of Adam and Eve. They ate maybe only one bite of that apple and yet that act has affected mankind through all time till the end of the world. If we are really humble, we will be truly Christlike, we will do things pleasing to Him. Then we will be on the way to true sanctity. Nothing will make us holy except if we have started on that road. Unless we have learned to accept humiliations, nothing else, not even lots of work for the poor, will be of any value.17
Is it better to be blamed for something that you have done or for something you have not done? If you learn to do this, if you learn to accept whatever He gives and give whatever He takes with a big smile, you will have learned to be humble. That prayer that I have taught you will help: “In union with all the Masses being offered throughout the world, I offer You my heart. Make it meek and humble like Your heart.”18
Even if your superior sometimes may not understand you or say things that may hurt you, that little hurt should not come between you and Jesus. That humiliation will bring you close to Jesus. Never answer back in that humiliation. Suffering has to come, humiliation and loneliness [have to come], because you are going to be the spouse of Jesus Crucified. A garland is not given to you, a crown is not given to you, but the Cross is given to you. “You are my Spouse, share with Me.”19
If you are determined to become holy, grab [each humiliation] as your chance; do not let it go down into your heart—[let it go] straight, from one ear in and from the other out. These little humiliations are the gifts of God.20
In everybody’s life there are continually throughout the day many of these beautiful gifts—chances to show our love for Jesus in those little things, these little humiliations. And if we are humble, if we are pure in heart, then we will see the face of God in prayer and so be able to see God in one another. It is a full circle, sisters. Everything is connected. The fruit of our prayer is that love for Jesus—proved by accepting little humiliations with joy.21
It’s very easy to grumble. Never do. You came here because you love Jesus. Today you will have to show your love by accepting. Today you get a bad correction and it hurts you. Never answer back. Unless you are asked, if she [the superior] asks you, “Have you done this?” you may say yes or no. If she doesn’t ask you, if she blames you, if she even shouts at you, [ask yourself,] “Is it true?” Only that one question you ask. If your heart is clean, say: “I’m sorry, I will not do [that] anymore.” If not, accept[ing] this will teach you to become a humble sister. Accept. Never, never—after correction—never become moody. Moodiness is [the] fruit of pride. Revenge: “You have hurt me. I have no means to hurt you back. So I get moody.” Grab it. That’s humiliation that will teach you to become a humble sister. [A] clean heart will give you joy.22
Never allow bitterness to touch you if you want to be happy. If you really give yourself to God, humiliation, failure, success, sorrow, pain is in that “yes.” When we forget that “yes,”…bitterness comes into our heart.23
Don’t waste time. Don’t worry about what she said or if she hurt you, be busy for souls. Feel that you have so much to do and to pray [for].24
When the people praise you, let it be for the glory of God. When the people despise [you], don’t let it hurt you. [When they praise you,] don’t let it make you proud. Let it go in through one ear and out through the other. Never let it go into your heart….People will always say many different things.25
Always be the first one to say sorry. Never let it go out of your mouth what you have heard from others. Never repeat. If you are hurt, don’t give back [don’t try to take revenge]. The joy of our life is just this [to forgive]. That sister who hurt you, who was not so nice with you, is the poorest of the poor. If you don’t care to smile or forgive, you are refusing Jesus.26
In difficult times—[those are] the times of surrender, never be insincere, never exaggerate, or think one thing and write another. Never write more than necessary; never write when you are hurt or when a sister has upset you. When you feel free, then write. The mistakes you make, do not disown or hide [them], but be the first one to write it before others say it of you. You are getting what Jesus wants you to get. If you are sincere, holy, humble, you will get exactly what you must get, nothing more, nothing less.27
Remember Nazareth, His own place, they wanted to stone Him when He explained the Scriptures [Lk 4:28–29]. You have to suffer for the truth. You will have to say, but do not say without praying: “Let me say for the glory of Your Son.” Be only all for Jesus through Mary. Live that. They called Him a liar, Beelzebub, He never answered; only when they slapped Him, “Why do you slap Me?” [Jn 18:29] It’s a great humiliation for [a] man to be slapped in public. Accept humiliations. Without humility you cannot be like Jesus and Mary; accept.28
Jesus, for Love of You
In the Carmelite monastery, where the Little Flower was, they had an old nun whom no one could please or satisfy. She was always grumbling and so no one wanted to take care of her, but the Little Flower, because she loved Jesus, volunteered to take care [of the old nun]. So every day the litany began, “O, you are too slow or too fast, you will kill me, or what are you doing, can’t you walk”—all the ways one grumbles. The Little Flower obeyed that nun each time and did what she wanted because she wanted to be all for Jesus, her crucified Spouse. Stupid things maybe, but for God nothing is stupid the moment we say, “Jesus, for love of you.”29
How I wish I was with you these days—just to be there—I know and I can imagine the wound caused by Bishop’s action. But what about the terrible wound to the Heart of Jesus, who loved him first? We all feel so bad and this [is] only in our feelings, but Our Lord’s wound is deep and painful because the wound was caused by the one He so loves. We must pray that he returns to Jesus, and I am sure He will not despise a broken reed. Don’t allow pain and sorrow—[it] does not matter how deep—[to] preoccupy you, for Christ wants your love now. You can love Him for all those who do not love Him. He must receive all the love He longs for from you both. Jesus must love your home so much.30
Poor Jesus—so much suffering for Him and yet the Cross, Nazareth, Bethlehem was His first love. He being rich, became poor for love of us. Don’t let anything separate you from the love of Christ, even friends like Bishop ——, [but] draw your mind to think differently. Cling to Christ. He is the same Love that loved you first. Let us not judge. No one…Don’t allow all kinds of thoughts and rumors to upset you. Fix your eyes on Christ. He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow: a love that [will] always burn, a strength that never falters, a joy that always fills….Keep close to Jesus with a smiling face.31
[For] so long I had no news from you and then the sad news of the university. This is our chance to show our love for the Church. She needs us now more than ever. Let us all be generous and stand by Christ in His Passion. I feel as if I hear Jesus say in this confusion, “Will you also go away?” He is the Love worth loving, the Life worth living, the Light worth burning, the Way worth following. Remember Pilate and Caiaphas, and yet Jesus obeyed them because they had “power from above.” The good bishop has “power from above”; therefore, all of us must obey—Christ will speak to us only through him—Jesus did not stop loving us because Caiaphas the high priest was so cruel and made terrible mistakes. Let us be very, very close to our Mother the Church through our bishop, in total surrender, loving trust, and cheerfulness.32
My sister may not have worms [like the homeless man on the street] but see that harshness. She is really hurting me. So I give back….If that sister has said that to you, it is bad, but why [has she] done it? You don’t know. Don’t judge. You will have peace in the community if you don’t judge.33
Sharing in the Sufferings of Our Poor
See, our poor people have to suffer so much; we are the only ones who can help them. Offer your pain to Jesus for them. Share in His pain, humiliation, Passion. Nobody ever has gone through more pain and humiliations than Jesus [did], all for you. Now we have our chance to accept all this for love of Him.34
Just think how much Mary loves Jesus. She always kept close to Him: in His humiliations when they wanted to stone Him and when they called Him Beelzebub, on the way to Calvary, when [He was] on the Cross, when they beat Him, nailed Him, spat on Him, made Him die as a criminal—and Mary was not ashamed to own Him at all times as her only love, as everything she had and owned. She stood by Him. Do we stand by our poor in their sufferings and humiliations?35
Why They and Not Me or You?
Abbe Pierre36 came once to Nirmal Hriday. I think it hurt him very much, he kept on saying, “Why they and not me?” over and over again. When he went back to France, he wrote a beautiful article entitled, “Why they and not me or you?” When I visit the poor, it hurts me, it must hurt you, if you are really the spouse of Jesus Crucified. It is Christ Crucified, Calvary again, that is why we [need] the penances, because we want to share in the Passion of Jesus.37
HER EXAMPLE: THE TESTIMONIES
When someone was difficult or troublesome to Mother, Mother went out of her way to be more loving to that person.
All for Jesus
In Nirmal Hriday, many dying patients were sent by Calcutta Municipal Ambulance, and also MC sisters brought them from the streets of Calcutta. Most of the days the patients were dying. A group of people were writing in the newspaper that Mother is taking out the blood from the patients and because of this…many patients were dying. I asked Mother to protest about this, but she was quiet and calm. She told me, “This is all that God wants. One day these people will understand their mistake and they will be sorry for this.” Mother’s word came true. One of those people was suffering. That time nobody wanted to look after him, but universal Mother was always [there] for him. She gave him love and those people understood their Mother.38
“Let the people criticize us, saying that Mother has a lot of money, but she has not built hospitals and nursing homes and things like that.” Mother was above all that. She did not pay much attention to all this, nor did she allow us to dwell on such things. She would always make the sign of the Cross on her mouth and say, “All for Jesus.” That was the word in her mouth: All for Jesus.39
Mother Forgave This Patient, Rehabilitated Him, and Helped His Family
One of our leprosy patients in Calcutta was violent with Mother at the Mother House gate….One of our young neighbor boys saw this scene from his window. He came down, caught hold of [the man], and threatened him, and [the man] ran away at once. Mother forgave this patient, rehabilitated him, and helped his family.40
A Good Instruction on How to Be Kind
There was [an orphan boy] who also gave endless trouble at the Mother House pretty often. He too wanted only money, and when Mother refused, he went down to the parlor to break all the chairs. Mother went down to him and just looked at him. He stopped and asked pardon. But on another occasion, he came while the whole house was resting in the afternoon. He started giving trouble and ran and hid himself in the toilet in the novitiate quarters. A sister decided to call the police, and they came fast, but they did not leave fast enough. The bell rang to wake us up, and, like all of us, Mother was on her way to chapel. She looked down and saw the police and asked what it was all about. When she was told it was [the orphan boy], Mother was very upset. “Why did you not wake me up, instead of calling the police?” She went down to the police, took them aside, and spoke to them. “He is our boy, my child. He will not do it again, let him go free.” Then turning to [him], Mother asked, “Is it not true?” and [he] shook his head to say, “Yes.” The police took him outside the gate and set him free. But we professed sisters got a good instruction after our tea on how to be kind and forgiving even when our children and people are difficult.
A Very Ugly Letter Against Mother in the Newspapers
In a city of India, when the sisters opened a dispensary to serve the needs of the poor, a certain doctor began to lose some of his patients and became very angry with the sisters. In his anger, he wrote a very ugly letter against Mother in the newspapers. Mother went to this place, and, finding out from the sisters what had occasioned the article, Mother went to the doctor’s residence and knocked on the door. What a shock for the doctor to find Mother at the door! Sweetly she said, “Doctor, I am Mother Teresa. I have come to tell you many things which you don’t know about me.” He invited her in, completely shaken. She did not tell us what else she said to him, but he became a Co-Worker and began to help the sisters in our dispensary.41
Don’t Worry About Me
When Christopher Hitchens published his horrible documentary on Mother, called Hell’s Angel, I was rather furious….I called her up, and I said, “Mother, we are so sorry that something like this has happened,” and I was burning with hatred, bitterness, revenge. How could somebody allow his own selfish motive to arrive at such a point where he could malign a person who is doing so much in the name of the Lord, and yet, being human he did it; and my concern for Mother Teresa: “Oh! How she must be feeling!” Her concern was, “But what’s wrong with you? You should be praying for him; don’t worry about me. We have to love him; we have to pray for him.” I don’t know, but this was one thing that was very public and her whole attitude was that we have to love him. We have to pray for him. So her life was a life of loving not only those who were close to her, but even those who were her enemies….[Later] when I met Mother in Calcutta, she asked me if they were still speaking bad things about Mother. I said, “Oh no, Mother, that’s all over,” and Mother said to me, “If they did all kinds of things to Jesus and called Him Beelzebub, then who are we? All for Jesus through Mary,” and she clasped my hands tightly. I will never forget that.42
Whenever I told her, “Mother, they are saying this about you,” she would say, “Everything is in the hands of Jesus. There is nothing to worry [about].”43
Don’t Judge
Mother did not despise anybody, never accused anyone, and never blamed anyone. Rather, she always excused. She used to say, “We do not know the intention or situation that makes people fall. We cannot judge.” She wrote, “One of the sins I have never had to confess: doubting the actions of any people, including you. Often I see wrong is being done and I can’t say it is right, but why that person acts or speaks like that I don’t know. This keeps me free from judging, what Jesus said” [Mt 7:1].
Let Us Pray for Them
Uncharitable talk was something she detested. If a sister began to complain about someone, Mother would immediately sign her own lips [with the sign of the Cross] to remind the sister to keep silent. When someone told her that she was being criticized or slandered, she would say, “Let us pray for them,” and she sometimes even looked on it with humble humor, laughing at herself. She would tell us sometimes, “Let us learn from it and correct ourselves where we have gone wrong.”44
One time, two sisters had a terrible clash. Mother tried to make them see each other in a better light, but the one at greater fault poured out her anger on Mother using ugly words. She turned to run out the main door. Mother moved fast and held her most lovingly while trying to make her understand. I am convinced that the sister is still with us, a good, hardworking, loyal MC because of Mother.45
I Was Very Upset
I remember one time I was very upset and Mother noticed. She called me to her room and asked me, “What has happened? The sun has gone down before [its] time? It is only three o’clock.” When I explained to her, she gave me a precious lesson to practice. She said, “You see, Jesus is burning in your heart in love. You love Him and He loves you. That burning love is there, but there is something missing. He needs some incense to complete the glory of God. This morning you prayed, ‘Help me to spread Your fragrance,’ so He provided the incense. It is up to you to pick it up and offer it to Him in gratitude. Give it to Him with all your love, and you will see the fragrance from Him within your heart. It cost Jesus to love you. You also must share in paying some price if you want to save souls in loving Jesus.”46
Mother, One of the Babies Is Dying
I started looking at my watch and I said to her, “You know, Mother, if you want to take that plane, we’ve got to go.” And she said, “Yes, you’re right, I’m coming.” So she stood up and made motions to leave, but then all the sisters had to be blessed again! I could feel my irritation rising; it was like, please, please let’s get going! I kept trying to maneuver Mother toward the car, but then someone else would say something and distract her. Eventually we got there and I held the door open for her and really felt like just shoving her in, when suddenly the superior said, “Mother, one of the babies is dying.” Mother stopped in her tracks and said, “Bring the child to me.”
By now, I’m over-the-top, so to speak, and I exude this attitude of “we don’t have time for dying babies. You have a plane to catch.” I mean really!…Anyway, I’m not saying anything, but my body language, my tutting and sighing, says it all. Mother did not say to me, “You’re being very rude and impatient. Stop it. Look what you’re doing. I’m talking about a dying child. What is the matter with you?” Neither did she dismiss me with, “Move to the side if you’re so annoyed. I’ll catch the plane in my time.” She didn’t tell me off at all or point out my dreadful behavior. She just very lovingly put her hand on my arm and said, “I will come, but I need to see this child.” With all my faults, in that moment, she took care of me too.
Mother must have seen Jesus in the distressing disguise of the badly mannered, because having bad manners is a form of poverty too. You know she didn’t point out how rude I was being; she embraced me and held me in my rudeness, and the result was, I melted, I just melted. The tiny dying child was brought to her. Mother must have seen thousands of children in that state and yet she took time to pray and to tuck a little Miraculous Medal into the infant’s clothing before getting into the car. It was an exquisite incident that I was privileged to witness and be a part of. It was not an act put on for my benefit—that was the way Mother was; so how many other exquisite simple acts of love must she have performed in her life? It’s amazing to think about.47
A Difficult Sister
We had a sister who was difficult….One day at lunch that particular sister said at the table that she didn’t want to eat the food; she said that just by looking at the food she lost her appetite. We all felt embarrassed, but not Mother; she acted [like] a real mother. She made her eyes big and told one sister to get something else for her. Then Mother took up the conversation. When the sister came with the food, Mother smiled and then she remained at the table with the sister while we had to get up, as it was time already. Mother did not tell that sister to make [a] sacrifice and eat or to do what all of the rest of us did, etc. I saw that many times, that Mother loved the sisters unconditionally,…Mother trusted the sisters, and that she had great hope for each one of us, even the “poorest of the poor.”48
Only Busy with Helping Her
On one occasion a sister was in trouble. Mother managed to get her to see the priest. While the sister was with Father, Mother was pacing up and down the veranda, rosary in hand, obviously praying for that sister, not busy with the wrong or the suffering the sister had caused Mother, but only busy with helping her.49
Can’t You Give Jesus Your Good Name?
Once feeling hurt and upset because a sister was speaking against me, I told Mother I could not manage anymore. I thought she would give [me] some sympathy or ask: how? who? what? etc. Mother’s answer was a surprise. She looked intensely at me for a moment and said, “But can’t you give Jesus your good name?” I then understood, a little, the level on which Mother functioned. She did not focus on difficulties, incidents, people as such—everything was Jesus. What is He telling me, asking from me, giving me? That is, Mother sought the deeper truth in the situation—the Truth of Love—and she responded in that Truth. That is why when one asked Mother how to be really holy, the answer was invariably the same: “Take what He gives and give what He takes with a big smile.” That’s how, it seems, she could be twenty-four hours with Jesus—in love—and make her life something beautiful for God. To live like this consistently would require heroic faith.50
Only Your Kindness Will Help
One priest was giving us a hard time in the mission. When Mother came to visit us, we told Mother about him. Mother told us, “God put him here that you may love him and be kind to him. Be careful not to speak uncharitably about him, but help him and be kind to him. He is the poorest of the poor now.” I have never heard Mother speaking about or against anyone even when it is true. I spoke to Mother about a person, and she immediately made me stop. She would say, “Be kind to her. Only your kindness will help her.”51
The Boy Managed to Pull Out the Money from My Bag
At Christmas[time], while in the market, I found a very miserable and malnourished boy there. I was so happy [that he would] be our Christmas gift, and I must take him home. As I walked, the boy followed me. While I was trying to pick up the fish, the same boy managed to pull out the envelope with 960 rupees from my bag. I saw the boy running, and I could hardly believe it was done by the same boy. Seeing my anxiety, people made a search in the whole bazaar but could not trace the boy. In all my sorrow, I canceled the [shopping] and went home and asked pardon from my community….I presumed [that as] restitution I would carry that many buckets of water from the main tank to the toilet tank….Meanwhile, I wrote to Mother explaining everything. In February, there was a retreat in Mother House. With trembling and fear, I went to Mother; once more I narrated the whole story. Mother listened to me so beautifully and said a sentence beyond my expectation. “Never mind, Sister, that boy might have been in need of that money.” Never a word of judgment, or condemnation of that boy, or finding fault [with] my careless ways.52
The Power of Mother’s Love
There was a lot of trouble in Calcutta because of the unrest among Hindus and Muslims. At noon Mother and I were going out to Park Street. Before we reached Park Circus, we saw a big gang of people, with stones, and sticks, knives, swords….They were trying to destroy many houses. From far [away], Mother lifted up both her hands and asked the driver to [blow the] horn. People noticed that Mother was inside the vehicle. They all threw away the stones, etc., and came running to the car. As they came close to the car, Mother joined both her hands. She never uttered a word to them. She showed them a sign with both her hands for them to go back. They all touched Mother’s feet, took her blessing, and returned like lambs. Mother waited till all the people had gone back. That day I realized the power of Mother’s love, which brings peace to troubled hearts. I was wondering why Mother did not speak a word to them. Then I realized Mother’s own sentence, “If I speak I have to stand by one, not by all, and then I get stuck with politics and stop loving.” Mother was very wise; she knew when to speak, and when not to speak, and her action in this moment was accepted as a sign of her love and a cause of peace.53
Meet Our People in the Home
The government of Assam was giving Mother a large plot of land for AIDS patients. The chief minister insisted Mother should come to accept the land. In the afternoon, when Mother [arrived], a huge crowd had come to meet Mother and take her blessing, etc. A well-dressed lady came in, started to talk all kinds of things against the work, against the poor, as if all that we were doing was useless. Mother gently patted her and said, “I have nothing to say to you, but I want you definitely to go around and meet our people in the Home, and then I will meet you.” After some time, the lady returned. She was weeping profusely and she told Mother, “I came empty hearted, and I go back with a heart full of satisfaction. Mother, my hands are empty; I have nothing to contribute toward your work.” She then broke the thick gold chain from her neck, removed the locket that was the symbol of her marriage, kept it aside, and the chain she placed in Mother’s hands, saying, “Mother, please don’t refuse me; you must accept this.” Mother took it graciously. And Mother led her to the parlor and spent some time with her. She was a changed person altogether. Her life was changed by the invitation of Mother that she visit the Home before she [said] anything.54
My Son
There was a leprosy patient who was giving a lot of trouble to the sisters. For three days he would lie down near the gate, not allowing our vehicle nor the sisters to go out. He was throwing stones and broke the window of the vehicle, etc….He was very dissatisfied, and we could not give in to his unreasonable demands. When we were in this desperate situation, Mother arrived there, with some visitors from Calcutta. As soon as Mother arrived, all our other patients went and told Mother everything. Mother got down from the ambulance and spoke to [the leprosy patient] kindly. She said, “My son, I am going to take you with me to Calcutta, and I will [settle you in] Titagarh with the brothers.” The man immediately got up; he touched Mother’s feet, took her blessings, and got ready to go with Mother without a word. Mother took the visitors around, spent some time with the sisters, and went back to Calcutta, and our patient also got into the car with Mother and went with her like a little lamb. All of us were awestruck at the way Mother handled the situation.55
Leave the VIP Enclosure
The Holy Father came to [India]. For the Mass of the Holy Father, Mother was in the VIP area in the front row. Then the bishop’s secretary came and told Mother to [leave] the VIP enclosure. All the sisters who were sitting with her felt very bad. But Mother immediately got up from there and went back. It was the pro-nuncio and the cardinals who had taken her to the VIP enclosure, even though the bishop [had not given] her a VIP pass. When the Holy Father came on the stage, he noticed Mother was not in the front row, and he asked Mother to come right up front to the first row. And Mother came back to the first place. All the sisters were very angry with the bishop because we felt that the bishop wanted to humiliate Mother, who was not in the least affected by all this. When the bishop’s birthday came, Mother went with all the sisters to wish the bishop a Happy Birthday. She gave us all a chance to make up with the bishop.56
Mother Apologized
Once Sister A. and I went to pick up Mother from [the airport]. There Sister brought a new book. In the car I was reading that book. Mother told me gently, “Do not read that book without permission.” Sister A. said, “Mother, she asked permission.” In the house, I was standing alone and Mother took that chance and apologized for correcting me without asking first. I was really impressed.57
REFLECTION
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Col 3:12–13)
“Accept what He gives—give what He takes—with a big smile.”58
Do I make connections with the wrongs I bear and the wrongs Jesus bore for me on the Cross?
Do I consider the immense wrongs done to the poor, the humiliations and privations? What are the wrongs done to me in comparison to the wrongs they suffer?
Am I aware that I might be doing something that can be an annoyance or a bother to others? Do I realize that I might lack thoughtfulness toward others, that I might be trying to them (for example, having a loud conversation when someone is trying to work or study, being too noisy when someone is trying to rest)? Am I so busy with myself that I cannot think about others’ needs?
How do I react when others show a lack of thoughtfulness toward me?
What wrongs can I bear patiently, including those small offenses, which Saint Thérèse of Lisieux called “pinpricks,” that do no more than produce personal discomfort or inconvenience for me?
Can I accept that I am being overlooked? That I am not given due consideration?
PRAYER
Lord, make me a channel of Your peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
where there is error, I may bring truth;
where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
where there is despair, I may bring hope;
where there are shadows, I may bring light;
where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather
to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand than to be understood;
to love than to be loved;
for it is by forgetting self that one finds,
it is by forgiving that one is forgiven,
it is by dying that one awakens to
eternal life.
Amen.
—Saint Francis’s prayer, prayed by Mother Teresa daily after Holy Communion