Mother Teresa’s capacity to forgive was one of her qualities that impressed even those who did not share her religious convictions. Coming from an Albanian culture in which “blood feuds” were traditional, she knew well how terribly difficult it can be to forgive and the devastating effects of failing to forgive. It was said of her that she had a “biblical faith”; this faith gave her the motivation and strength to forgive those who offended her in some way, big or small.

One of the principal reasons that she was so forgiving was that she was aware of her own sinfulness and need for God’s mercy and forgiveness. She also knew that she could be hurting others unintentionally, and that she would be happy to receive forgiveness.

Whether the offense was small or great, Mother Teresa was willing to overlook it rather than seek revenge or distance herself from the offender; she likewise refused to harbor resentment or keep a grudge. She went even further: she was concerned for the one who hurt her, for their emotional and spiritual well-being, which had been compromised because of the wrong they had done.

“Be the first one to say sorry,” she would advise her sisters, being herself usually the one to take the first steps toward reconciliation, even when she was the one who had been wronged. And if the other party persisted in their ill will (as was the case, for example, with some of her more adamantly unjust critics), she would forgive and pray for that person.

“Have the love to forgive and the humility to forget” was her advice when anyone was faced with any offense. There are hurts that one might not be able to literally forget, but the desire to “forget” was the expression of her desire to “wipe it out” from her mind, leaving the rest to God. She would then act as if nothing had happened with that person and show even greater kindness.

Clearly, there are offenses that demand justice and reparation, but what we often deal with are “pinpricks,” the little injuries that we inflict on each other due to our selfishness, pride, or thoughtlessness. Mother Teresa wanted to avoid exaggerating these little hurts that are part of daily life, because these wrongs can very easily be blown up into larger issues, leading us to become resentful or hold a grudge. Even because of little things, relationships can be ruined.

HER WORDS

God’s Mercy Is Much Greater

Even on the Cross He has nothing to say but words of forgiveness, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”1 The Passion of Christ is the surest proof of the humility of God.2

If something happens, if we should fall, let us remember that the Father is a merciful Father. He will always forgive.3

We must pray that the mistake is not made. But when the mistake has been made, God’s mercy is much greater than the mistake. God will forgive.4

I think [about] what it means that God will not destroy [sinners]—every sinner is a bruised reed—and God will not destroy them [Is 42:3], because God’s mercy is much greater than all that the bruised reed can be. And I think, I always take that as we [are] sinners before God and yet He will never destroy us; He will always have that tremendous, tender mercy for each one of us.5

We have to implore God to forgive sins: our own and the sins of others. We may offer everything for the conversion of sinners. The value of the Precious Blood is infinite. Let us be united with Him in our work. Every drop of the Precious Blood may cover everything in our daily life; so we offer [everything] to Christ, Our Lord.6

To Be Able to Pray We Need to Forgive

To be able to pray we need to forgive. Then our hearts will be free to pray. And we must really pray and make many sacrifices to create peace in our own house first. We cannot work for peace, nor give peace, if we do not have that peace in our own hearts. That is why many things are made to destroy life; it is because peace is destroyed in [our] own hearts. Just as we have love in action, so we also have destruction in action.7

Suffering makes it important, first of all, that we pray, because we need courage to forgive. And to be able to forgive we need lots of love in our hearts. Forgive! And also we must know that we need to be forgiven. And for that we need a humble heart. So humility and love will help us to forgive each other; and instead of hurting each other we will begin to love each other and to see what is beautiful in each other. Every one of us has something beautiful. If we only take the trouble to see it, we will be able to love that person—even that person who hurts us most. If we have a free heart, we will be able to forgive that person.8

When somebody fights with you, you should always forgive; and if you are the one who is fighting, there is a time to say that you are sorry. And if someone fights with you, you must forgive that person, and you must not keep any grudge against that person. That’s what Jesus told us, to love one another.9

Make your family something beautiful for God in love, peace, unity, and joy. Even if you pray ten minutes together, it is worthwhile. It is worthwhile. Get together, always together, always together, even when you have misunderstandings, get together. Forgive and forget and you will be really filled with God’s love, really have the peace of God in your heart. This is very, very important, especially nowadays when there is much turmoil in the world, all over the world, all over the world, everywhere—so much pain, so much suffering.10

Say Sorry to Each Other

First of all, I think we have to say sorry to each other, to forgive each other, to ask for forgiveness and to forgive. Unless we are free from anything that is holding us back, we cannot be free to love. Love is freedom, and we must love until it hurts. And we can do that only if we pray, for prayer will give us a clean heart, and a clean heart can see the face of God. When we see God’s face in each other, we will be able to live in peace and happiness, for what we have been created, to love and to be loved.11

In the Gospel, we often see one word, “Come, come to me all” [Mt 11:28]. “He that cometh to me I will not cast out” [Jn 6:37]. “Suffer little children to come to me” [Lk 18:16]. Always ready to receive, to forgive, to love. And to make sure that we understand what He means—[Jesus] says, “Amen, Amen, I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these My least brethren, you did it to Me.”…One thing that will always secure Heaven for us [are the] acts of charity and kindness with which we have filled our lives. We will never know how much good just a simple smile can do. We tell people how kind, forgiving, and understanding God is—are we the living proof? Can they really see this kindness, this forgiveness, this understanding alive in us?…Be kind and merciful. Let no one ever come to you without coming away better, happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness. Everybody should see kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in your warm greeting. In the slums, we are the light of God’s kindness to [the people].12

Forgive and Love

Our Holy Father has proclaimed the holy year as a Year of Reconciliation. The word sounds long but it really means: forgive and love. Reconciliation begins not first with others, but with ourselves: by allowing Jesus to clean us—to forgive us, to love us. It starts by having a clean heart within. A clean heart always forgives and is able to see God in others and so love them….Forgive and ask to be forgiven: Excuse rather than accuse. Do not go to bed when you remember “that your sister has something against you,” as Jesus said. Even if we are not guilty, still let us take the first step of reconciliation.13

Today I want to speak to you about forgiveness. I beg of you, sisters, forgive one another and ask pardon from one another. There is so much suffering and unhappiness because of unforgiveness….Remember, sisters, in the Our Father we say, “Forgive us our sin as we forgive.” If you do not forgive, you are not forgiven. Look deep down in your heart. Is there any bitterness against any person? Then try to find that person or write to that person—maybe a sister or a poor person or someone at home. Forgive. Otherwise you are not free to love Jesus with an undivided love. Do not keep any bitterness in your heart. There are so many who can’t forgive. Some say, “I forgive, but I can’t forget.” Confession is forgiveness—the kind of forgiveness that God gives—and we must learn that kind of forgiveness. So many years ago someone said this or did that, and so I say, “She said this, she…and she…and she…”14

In one place there was a priest who was against the bishop and priests for some reason. There was so much bitterness in his speech each time I visited him, and he said to me, “I will not forgive. I won’t.” This time when I went, I told him, “This is your chance; say sorry to your bishop. That is the only word the bishop wants from you.” And I was praying and the sisters were all praying inside. When I finished the prayer, he said, “Mother Teresa, give me paper.” So I gave him the paper and I was so happy. I took him to the bishop and gave him the paper; otherwise he might change his mind, and I told him, “This is not enough; say ‘I forgive’ ”—and he did.15

We need much love to forgive, but we need much more humility to ask for forgiveness. And this forgiving and asking to [be] forgiven is [what] Jesus taught us when he taught us to say the Our Father. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” and this is for us life. This is the joy of loving.16

When you come to that part in the Our Father, stop and ask yourself, “Is it true what I am saying?” I think Jesus suffered much more just hanging from that Cross. He said, “Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart” [Mt 11:29]. You cannot be meek, you cannot be humble, if you don’t forgive. It is not necessary to have a big thing to destroy us. Examine [yourself]: if I’m not able to see God—why?17

Don’t say, “I’ll forgive, but I can’t forget.” When Jesus forgives in confession, He forgets. Don’t say a lie—when you ask pardon and when you don’t give forgiveness. Unforgiveness is the greatest sin of pride. Ask forgiveness and give forgiveness.18

If I forgive, then I can be holy and I can pray….All this comes from a humble heart, and if we have this we will know how to love God, to love self, and [to love our] neighbor. You see in this is simple love for Jesus. There are no complications and yet we complicate our lives so much, by so many additions. Just one thing counts: to be humble, to pray. The more you pray, the better you pray. How do you pray? You should go to God like a little child. A child has no difficulty in expressing his little mind in simple words, but they express so much. Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Become as a little child.” If we pray the Gospel, we will allow Christ to grow in us. So one thing is necessary for us—confession. Confession is nothing but humility in action. We call it penance, but really it is a sacrament of love, a sacrament of forgiveness. That is why it should not be a place of talking for long hours about our difficulties. It is a place where I allow Jesus to take away from me everything that divides, that destroys. When there is a gap between me and Christ and my love is divided, then anything can come to fill up the gap. If you really want to understand the love of Christ for us, go to confession. Be very simple and childlike in confession: “Here I am as a child—going to her Father.” If a child is not yet spoiled and has not learned to tell lies, he will [confess] everything. This is what I mean by “childlike” and this is what we must imitate in confession.19

During the day, share very often in the Passion of Christ. I’m sure you will get all the graces to be holy if you are faithful to that total surrender. Even if you have made a mistake and have been uncharitable, say sorry. The moment you say sorry you can be forgiven.20

Jesus has called you by name—“You are Mine”—“You are precious to Me”—“I love you.” If He is like that with Me, He must be like that with my sister also. She too has been called, and [she too] is the spouse of Jesus Christ. I’m repeating myself again and again, because for me, the way I understand it, those words “I belong to Him” mean that even if I sin—He accepts me as I am. Then why do I keep that grudge against my sister in my heart? If I have not forgiven my sister, then I have not understood His love for me. Look at the Cross and see where are you. Jesus need not have died like that, need not have been born to go through that agony in Gethsemane.21

Is There Unforgiveness in My Heart?

How can you carry any ugliness against your sisters when you have to carry Jesus? Open your heart to that sister—ask her to forgive you. This is the best confession you can make. You will only be able to forgive and forget if you have given back to her the burden of your hurt in love. Unforgiveness will prevent you from giving love. Only if you are able to forgive will you be able to fulfill that Gospel of “Love one another as I have loved you.” Only then will you be able to love God with your whole heart.22

Whatever I do, I do it for Jesus. When we pray, when we begin to pray, we do it for Jesus. What is your love and respect for the poor? That harshness becomes a slap for Jesus. Sometimes we can’t forgive, even once: “She has called me bad names.” Jesus could destroy everything with one word. He forgave. Not forgiving can destroy you for life. We keep on thinking of that word that sister said, but we need to acknowledge our sin, to be able to forgive. We must forgive—don’t wait. Is there unforgiveness in my heart? It’s an obstacle for life. When it’s too late, nothing can be done.23

My brother had a little pimple here, and within a short time the cancer had become a big root—after just three months. The same thing happens for us with unforgiveness. Don’t believe the devil. Get it out. Maybe you have a grudge against your superior, maybe against your sisters, maybe against your parents. As a novice, as a junior, the devil will come to you with very beautiful ideas. Don’t allow the devil to cheat you. What a wonderful gift you will give to Jesus on your wedding day—a pure heart.24

If there is still something in your heart [against a sister] and that sister is far away, go to the tabernacle, ask Him to touch the heart of that sister. Let her feel that you have forgiven her. We are sent to be God’s love—God loves the world today, we are sent to be God’s love.25

You all had superiors. Sometimes they tell you things that are not nice, maybe the way they say it is not nice. Did you accept it? Maybe a change of place, a change of work, a change of partner, a change of food, and so on. If only you can accept, there will be no difficulty. But you do not accept, and then there is so much difficulty and so much bitterness in the heart. There isn’t that total forgiveness. Show me a bitter sister and I will show you a proud sister. A bitter sister is always a proud sister also. Bitterness and pride are twin sisters—moodiness goes with it. A humble sister will not be bitter nor moody.26

Wonderful Experience of Forgiveness

That lady who came and taught hymns—her grown-up children sent her to India to have a holiday, just to forget her troubles. What happened? After thirty-five years of oneness with her husband, that love and fidelity, where has it all gone? She told me that her husband has such a big position; he is the best surgeon….Now he told her that he doesn’t want her anymore, because somebody, another woman, is after him. She came to ask my advice, and I told her that “only you can save him; your prayers and sacrifices can bring him back to you. He still loves you, so you forgive him and pray for him.”27

I had a wonderful experience and example of forgiveness. A family—a husband and wife—were not happy for many years. They were fed up with each other, so they planned to go each their own way. The sisters visited them and prayed. And when I went there, the sisters told me about them. So I called for both. They came. The wife cried and cried, but her crying did not do the action [of asking for forgiveness], only when she said, “I ask your pardon,” and he said the same thing, “I ask your forgiveness.” She was looking at him smiling and he was looking at her smiling. For the last few years, they were just hurting each other, but that day they were so happy and went [home]. Next day evening—they came again to see me and I was so happy. Both looked at each other and were smiling again.28

There is another story of a man who had so many sins and did not make confession for many years. One day he decided to make his confession. So he wrote four pages full, all the sins of his past life, and he went to make his confession. Page after page he read. After reading the fourth page, he thought, “Maybe I have left out something.” So he looked back onto the first page. He found it was clean and empty. Nothing was there. Then he looked onto all the pages. Something had happened. He was so happy and he told his story of confession to others. We receive this kind of forgiveness from God, and we need to forgive others with this kind of forgiveness.29

Forgive Me, Forgive Me

We have opened a house in New York for AIDS, and these are the people of today who are the unwanted. But what a tremendous change has come in their lives just because those few sisters are taking care of them, because they have made a home for them, a home of love, a gift of love; that they are wanted, that they are somebody to somebody, changed their life in such a way that they die the most beautiful death. Not one has died distressed. The other day Sister told me that one of the young men (all are young people), and one of the young ones, was dying and couldn’t die, so she asked him, “What is it? You are struggling with death, what is happening to you?” And he said, “Sister, I cannot die until I ask pardon from my father.” And so Sister found out where the father was and she brought him. And something most extraordinary [happened]: living gospel, the father embracing his son, “My son, my loved one,” the son begging his father, “Forgive me, forgive me,” and the two of them clinging to each other in tender love. After two hours, the boy died. See what love can do. Father’s love, child’s love. So this is [a reason] for us to open our hearts to God, because we have all been—every one of us—that man in the street, that person there, this one, that one—everybody has been created for greater things, to love and to be loved. And if in the world today we are [seeing] so much suffering, so much killing, so much pain, it’s [because people] have lost that joy of loving God in their hearts. And because that has gone, they cannot share that love with others.30

My Own Son Did This to Me

I remember once finding an old woman in a dustbin, burning with fever. She was much bigger than I, so I had trouble getting her out of the bin. But with Jesus helping, I managed to do it. As I was taking her to our home, she did not say a single word about her terrible fever or great pain, or the fact that she was dying. No, the only thing she kept saying was “My son did this to me! It was my own son who did this to me!” She was so bitterly hurt by the fact that her own son had thrown her away that I had to work very hard, and it took me a long time to help her finally to say that she forgave him. She said it just before she died….And if you could love and console even one person suffering like this, it would be a wonderful thing, because that person again is Jesus in his painful disguise.31

I Forgive Him Because of God’s Love

A man in Poona wrote in the paper many ugly things. He called me a hypocrite, a religious politician, [he accused me of] making others Catholic, and about the Nobel Peace Prize and many other bigger adjectives. I wrote back to him that I felt sorry for him. I really feel sorry for him because he hurt himself much more than he hurt me, and I believe that many people wrote to him ugly letters because of what he had said. It was written in the newspapers: Mr. R. calls Mother Teresa “Hypocrite.” I wrote back to him that I forgive him because of God’s love, and I invited him to come and see Shishu Bhavan. When he got that letter, he got more angry and began to write many more things. He called me “Mister,” so I was thinking of calling him…“Miss.” It was again written in the newspaper: “It is not that she is not sincere, she is very sincere, but she is leading the people the wrong way. She is still a hypocrite.” You see, sisters, we must accept. That man got very angry because I said, “God bless you, I forgive you.” So, sisters, when you are scolded, forgive and you will be all right anywhere. If I had used other words, I would have lost the chance of giving God’s love, God’s joy….We must become holy at any cost. Mother receives many humiliations—more than you do—but I think they are beautiful chances.32

I Begged His Forgiveness

A few days ago a Hindu man came to the Mother House. Every month, he makes many little sacrifices—two dollars, two and a half dollars—and he brings it to the Mother House—not much, because he is poor. His father had died and he was very sad. He had gathered up all the leftover medicines and came. I was in my room because I was not feeling well. The sister told him just to put the medicine down there on the floor. He was very shocked. Another sister came to me and begged me to see him because he was so depressed. When I came, he told me, “Mother, in the whole of my life I have never received this kind of rudeness; she was so harsh, she hurt me so much.” I joined my hands and begged his forgiveness, [said that I regretted] that it had happened in our house, and I took his medicines in my hands. He kept his eyes looking wherever that sister went and repeated, “I’m sorry, Mother, but I had to tell you.” I was ashamed that it had happened in our house. The man left with a sad face. I called that sister and told her, “If you had been a little more gentle and kind, you would not have blocked the way of Jesus to that man.” She said, “Mother, I am sorry, I will not do it again.” But that man had gone away, he never heard those words; the words she had spoken to him before could not be taken back. For life that harshness will remain with him. I beg of you, sisters, if you have a hot temper, control it.33

HER EXAMPLE: THE TESTIMONIES

Always Ready to Forgive

Each and every individual whether good or bad is acceptable to Mother. Her attitude of openness, understanding, accepting, forgiving, and encouraging [a person] to do better—there is always one more chance to do better with Mother just like [with] the Heart of Jesus. We always try to draw a line: seven times like Saint Peter; but with Mother it is always seventy times seven. Mother had been criticized for this, much.34

Don’t Hurt Jesus

Mother Teresa was very patient, and even if she met with ill treatment from the sisters as she sometimes did, she would always say, “I forgive. Don’t hurt Jesus.” She didn’t think so much of getting hurt, but of hurting Jesus.

There were so many misunderstanding complaints [about me], but Mother was always ready to forgive just like Jesus, always with a smile. Not once [did] she discourage me. Mother was always there, no one understood but Mother. When the heart is full of sorrow, you go to Mother, [she] just looks into your eyes and automatically everything vanishes. No matter what crime you committed. Only be open to her and she was there to help and solve the problem with her forgiving love and compassion.35

If we had done something wrong, we could go to Mother and say sorry. She would forgive and forget at once, and never bring it up again, even if we committed the same fault again and again. In Mother there was always the forgiving and forgetting. Mother, at the beginning, never neglected to correct us. And sometimes her corrections were quite strong. She wanted us to grow spiritually. As the years went on, we found Mother more gentle in her corrections and more quick to forget and forgive. Mother always used to tell us, “Don’t hurt Jesus. He loves you.” This helped us a lot. When there were difficult moments, we could see Mother praying all the more. She never left or ran away from the difficulty to pray in the chapel. No, Mother, in a second, would become so closely united to God and overcome the difficulties. We knew she received the answer from God. We could feel that Mother was united to God all the while, always attuned to the will of God with joy. We, who lived with Mother, saw how she never gave up loving Jesus with that deep personal love.36

Whenever We Made a Mistake

Sister X was very sick. Sister Z and I were sitting on a wooden bed and were talking to Sister X. And one more sister came and sat on the bed, and the bed broke. Now we were very afraid to go and tell Mother that we had broken the bed. Those days Mother had no money; we just had enough money to live on. One by one we went to Mother and spoke our fault. Mother did not scold us; she was very kind. She only said, “Next time do not sit on the bed and break it.” Mother used to correct us when we did something wrong. But whenever we made a mistake and owned up to it and said sorry, she was very forgiving and understanding.37

What Happened, My Child?

In the novitiate I had a fear of Mother. One day my mistress punished me. She sent me to Mother. When I went near Mother, she asked, “What happened, my child?” Then I said, “Mother, my mistress told me to see you because I did not do my homework.” Then Mother did not scold me at all. She gave me her blessing and told me, “Next time do the homework,” and she sent me back. From that day my fear went away completely. I knew Mother has a really loving heart.38

I Could Trust Mother

I was having a hard time dealing with the guilt and shame [of] a sin I had committed. I knew without a doubt I could trust Mother to keep my secret and to continue to love, accept, and respect me even though I had disappointed Mother, but I knew I could trust Mother to not condemn, reject, or humiliate me. After I told Mother the whole story, Mother first asked if anybody knew about it, and I told her only the priests who heard my confessions. Mother looked at me with such love and tenderness in her eyes. She said: “Jesus forgives you and Mother forgives you. Jesus loves you and Mother loves you. Jesus just wanted to show you your poverty. Now, when a sister comes to you with the same thing, you will have compassion for her.” I asked Mother not to tell anyone, and she promised she would not in such a tender way. Mother never asked me: “Why did you do that? How could you do that?” Mother never said: “Aren’t you ashamed? You caused such a scandal.” Mother never even said: “Do not do that again.” As I thought of and prayed over my meeting with Mother, I cried all the more and was filled with peace and gratitude. I went back to Mother the next day and thanked her for the great lesson she taught me. I told Mother all the things she never asked me. Mother beamed with joy and said: “See, I never thought of that; I just said what came to me.” Mother blessed me again with great affection and I went my way with a happy heart.39

The Prodigal Mother

Once when a group of us (novice mistresses) were having instruction from Mother, a sister knocked at the door to say that Sister so-and-so had come. We knew she had been in a lot of trouble, and I was wondering how Mother would act. As soon as the sister came in, she knelt down crying, and Mother blessed her and welcomed her with such love that she could not say a word, and then turning to us she told us to go and get her a cup of tea: The Prodigal Mother.40

I Forgive Him

[In India, there was a TV program because of] Christopher Hitchens’s first TV program, which I saw. I told [Mother] about it. I have to say her first reaction was that of anguish. And she said to me, “I have done so much work in this country. Is there nobody who will speak up for me?” And it was then that the seed was born in my mind that I had to do something. She had through her prayerfulness overcome this. The next time I mentioned this to her when I met her, she said, “I forgive him.” It was an incident that [she had put out of] her mind. She had forgiven him completely. It was as if she didn’t know, like a child, what he had said. So she had risen above it.41

We Make Mistakes

When we were in Ethiopia, a lady came and videotaped our children’s home, when we were not there. And then she put all our work on the television as though it was her work. People started to call us and ask: “What happened? Are you going away?” So we said, “No, we are not going.” We came to understand this particular lady had made this program on TV as her own. We had a meeting with the president. Mother came and Mother said, “Sisters, forgive her. She did not know what she was doing. We have to learn to forgive. We make mistakes, people make mistakes.” So she had forgiveness for everything.42

God Has Forgiven Me

We once discovered a man from the slums who was dying, but he was very bitter. He was a Catholic, but he was unwilling to see anyone, not even his family. We tried to talk to him a little; he smiled and asked us who had sent us to him. Then, in the course of our conversation, we told him that he needed to have a clean heart in order to go to heaven. For this he needed to forgive everyone, even his own wife and children, because God also forgives us without keeping any account of our misdeeds. He agreed by nodding his head that he approved of what we had said, but he was reluctant to see a priest so as to make his confession. We felt sorry for him and we prayed our Rosary on the way home. We told Mother, “This man is going to die, but he refuses confession.” Mother asked us, “How old is he?” We said: “About forty-five.” Then Mother said, “Let us offer forty-five rosaries to Our Lady…for this man so that he may accept making his peace with God.” We divided the number of forty-five between three of us and Mother.

The next day when the Rosaries we had promised to Our Lady had been completed, Mother asked us to visit him again. He told us that he would like to make his peace with God, and that he had not been to confession in a long time. On our way back to the convent, we stopped in St. Teresa’s Church to give to Father a little note with the man’s name and the name of the hospital. In two days we visited [the man] again and he was so happy. He asked us to bring his family to visit him. He said, “God has forgiven me and I want to forgive my people completely.” We came home with such joy to tell Mother. We thanked Our Lady together for this great gift of peace to this dying man.43

If We Would Have Been in Their Situation

As Mother wanted to see most of Albania for the sake of foundations, we went a lot by car. Many times along the road there were crowds of people who had come to greet Mother, whom they all considered to be “their Mother.” Whole villages came out to meet her. Mother stopped and prayed with them, gave out medals. Mother remained so small, so calm, so silent, as they were crying out: “Long live our Mother,” etc. Even when single persons recognized her (as she was sitting in the front of the car) and waved to her, she asked to stop so as to greet the person, always with the same love and calmness. She never refused anyone. When we told Mother about the stealing and cheating that was going on in Albania, Mother said: “If we would have been in their situation, we would have been worse.”44

REFLECTION

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Mt 5:23–24)

“Sisters, receive forgiveness to give forgiveness.”45

“If someone fights with you, you must forgive that person, and you must not keep any grudge against that person. That’s what Jesus told us, to love one another.”46

Am I aware that I stand in front of God as a sinner in need of forgiveness and mercy? Do I realize that God forgives me and calls me to forgive others?

Is there a person in my life whom I hold a grudge against and do not want to forgive?

Did I allow a small offense to grow out of proportion, and because of a trivial matter have I refused communication with a family member or friend? At times I might have even forgotten what the real issue was (or maybe I now realize that it was not as serious as I considered it at the time), but now my relationship with that person is broken or injured and the gap between us seems unsurmountable. Is there not a way to bring about reconciliation? What steps can I take to bridge the gap (e.g., send a message, extend an invitation for a meal and talk over what took place years ago) and reestablish the relationship? Can I show kindness to the person who offended me?

If someone has committed a serious offense against me and I am still holding a grudge and feel unable to forgive, can I do something concrete to move toward forgiveness? Can I at least pray for the grace to forgive and/or pray for the person who injured me?

PRAYER

O Jesus! grant that you may be

the object of my thoughts and affections,

the subject of my conversations, the end of my actions,

the model of my life, my support in death,

and my reward eternally in your heavenly Kingdom.

Amen.

—MC prayer book, prayed daily by Mother Teresa