Chase won the race. I was sincerely hoping the celebration party might help my bad mood.
Not that I should have been in a bad mood. I had the most amazing night of my life with a man that I had dreamed of for years.
It was like having a wish granted, but instead of feeling grateful, I started to feel greedy. I wanted more and since I knew I’d never have it, I just wanted to be bitchy.
I left the party at around nine after reminding everyone that we had to be at work by six the next day. Everyone groaned and stuck out their tongues or middle fingers.
Being alone didn’t seem to help. I showered and changed into my cheetah-print shorts and pink tank top.
I was lying in bed trying to read a book, but only thinking about my night with Marcus Weller. Being in his arms. His lips on mine. His body against me.
I was pulled from my memories by someone knocking at my door. I pulled on a sweatshirt and went downstairs. The knocking wasn’t at the front door, it was at the back door.
I went through the kitchen and laundry room to open the door expecting my brother. It wasn’t my brother.
“Was that the only thing you felt last night?” Marcus blurted as soon as he saw my face.
“What are you doing here?”
“There had to be more to it,” he continued.
“How do you know where I live? Did you hack into my file at work?” I accused.
“I was only thinking of you last night, I don’t know why you would have seen thoughts about Staci,” he went on, undeterred by my questioning.
It was apparent he wasn’t going to give up. I opened the door wider and stepped to the side. I waved my hand indicating he should come in.
He followed me to the front of the house as I peered out my living room windows and pulled the drapes closed.
“I parked on the next block,” he said, causing me to feel slightly better. Everyone from work would recognize his charcoal BMW parked in front of my house.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I asked to postpone the inevitable.
“No, thank you,” he said while looking directly into my eyes. He was searching for something. He was probably looking for the girl who had been with him last night, but instead he was seeing this cold, heavily guarded, shrew. “Why did you leave without even saying good-bye?” he asked quietly.
“I thought it would be easier for you. You wouldn’t have to say something you didn’t mean to get rid of me.” I shrugged and he rolled his eyes.
“I didn’t want to get rid of you.”
I looked up at him quickly, my guard faltering.
“Tell me what you saw, what you felt. Please? You said I’m not over my wife. Why do you think that?” He bombarded me with questions. I could see he’d been worrying about this all day.
“When you were holding me. After. You were thinking you didn’t want her to find out about us.”
“Yes, because I want the divorce to be over. Like you pointed out last week, if she finds out I’m seeing someone, there will be an investigation. I don’t want that. I want it to be finished. Didn’t you see that part?”
“I left,” I said quietly.
“You don’t want to be with me?” Again his brows were creased. “I felt how you wanted me last night. I know you care about me and you’ve cared about me for a long time. Why don’t you want to be with me now?”
I covered my face in embarrassment. He knew I’ve had a crush on him for the last four and half years. I just wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor.
“Why are you pushing me away?”
“At some point, probably very soon, you are not going to want to be with me. I wanted to keep that from hurting so bad. Like I said today, I’m not expecting anything from you,” I tried to explain as he smiled a little.
I was trapped in his eyes again.
“So you’re not expecting this?” And with that his lips were on mine. It was as good as I remembered. Though this time, I didn’t feel his thoughts in my mind. It was just me in my head, thinking how wonderful his lips felt. He moved down my neck as I gasped for air.
“It’s not working tonight. We’re not connected,” I murmured against his chest.
“Does it really matter? I’m sure you can still guess what I’m going to do next.” He smiled and picked me up. He looked over at the stairs and I nodded. At the top of the stairs he looked both ways and then turned left to go into my room.
He laid me down on the bed and pulled his shirt off as my shirt started coming up on its own. I raised my arms and it slid right over my head. Marcus looked down to see his jeans unbutton and unzip themselves. He looked back to my face with his magnificent smile. I was getting another wish granted.
As he laid down on me, a small part of my mind still worried how much this would hurt when he moved on, but it was only a small part and the rest of my mind was thinking how wonderful being with this man felt.
The alarm went off at four thirty. I forgot Marcus was there until he grumbled and pulled me closer. His arms constricted even tighter as I tried to get out of bed.
“Don’t go. Stay in bed with me today,” he begged.
“I can’t. My boss is a real jerk, and he’ll fire me if I miss work,” I joked and he laughed.
“Call off sick,” he proposed.
“No! I’ve never called of sick.” I sounded appalled by the thought.
He propped his head up, still squinting from the light by my bed. “Really?”
“Never.”
“How many sick days do you have available?”
“Eight.” I shrugged.
He handed me my phone next to my bed. “Use one today,” he all but demanded.
“It feels wrong,” I said as I started to dial.
“I’ll make it feel right when you’re done,” he promised with a devilish smile on his face. I couldn’t resist.
When the voice mail picked up, I explained to my supervisor I had a migraine and was going to stay home. Then I quickly called my brother and told him not to come pick me up.
“What’s going on with you? You’ve never missed work,” he barked at me.
“Well, I’ve never had a headache this bad before. It doesn’t help to have to talk on the phone.” I tried to sound miserable but Marcus was kissing down my stomach.
“Do you need me to take you to the doctor or something?” he offered.
“No. I just need the day. I’ll be better.”
“I’ll stop in after work today to check on you. Call me if you need me to bring you something.”
“Fine. Thanks. ’Bye,” I said and quickly got off the phone as Marcus made his way down past my stomach. It was impossible to talk on the phone.
We fell asleep again after Marcus successfully calmed my guilt over calling off sick. When I woke it was almost eight. Marcus was awake and staring at me as he brushed his fingers through my hair.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice rough with sleep. I smiled in response. “I wish I’d noticed sooner,” he mused to himself.
I chuckled. “I barely look human when I’m at work.”
He kissed me and then smiled when he released me.
“You are gorgeous,” I said quietly. We were only a few inches apart and even at this distance, he was flawless.
“I think I remember you thinking something about that the other night.” He grinned adorably.
“I’m sorry. Does it freak you out to know I’ve been lusting over you all this time?” I bit my bottom lip while waiting for his answer. I traced a hand down his broad chest.
“No. And it doesn’t freak me out that you have my picture from the newspaper in the shoebox under your bed either. It’s nice.”
“How do you know…?” I flinched back as he touched his temple. I must have been thinking about it when we were connected.
“Why do you think it didn’t work last night?” I changed the subject.
“I’m not sure. It didn’t happen the first time we touched either,” he reminded me.
“Hmmm. Maybe it’s because we were both reaching out with our power before we touched. Do you want to test the theory?”
“On what? There is nothing in your bedroom.” He laughed at my barren room.
“Your shirt is on the floor. We could use that.”
“What color is the shirt? I don’t remember what I was wearing yesterday.”
“It’s navy blue. There’s a white WellGen logo on the sleeve.”
“Okay. I’m ready.” He scooched away from me so we weren’t touching. We began focusing on the shirt. Then as the shirt rose up toward the ceiling he kissed me.
We were connected. It wasn’t quite as strong as the first time. But, I could still feel things in my mind that weren’t mine. Memories that I hadn’t lived.
I felt the pain he felt at being ignored by his father when he was little. I felt the determination to make him take notice, though it hadn’t worked yet. I felt the joy he felt when he was with me last night. He had never felt so comfortable with anyone before and he wondered if he was falling in love with me. Something he now realized he hadn’t felt with Staci. Ever.
I broke off the connection. I didn’t want to think about the possibility of him loving me. If I did, I would be forced to face the fact that I already loved Marcus. I didn’t want him to know.
“What upset you?” he worried.
“Nothing. Are you hungry?” I jumped out of bed before he could continue this line of questioning. I used my gift to find my clothes and got dressed quickly. “Do you like bacon and eggs?”
“Yes.” He tilted his head, trying to read my expression. “You’re full of surprises.” He smiled and got up to get dressed himself.
I made breakfast, finding out that Marcus only liked scrambled eggs. “I just found out something about you by talking to you,” I said. “That’s nice.”
“Why didn’t you go to college like you planned?” he asked from something I had not said out loud. I frowned and shrugged.
“I told you I didn’t do well in school.”
“Because you didn’t want to do well. I couldn’t quite figure out why that was.” His forehead was creased as he tried to bring up the memory again.
“Breakfast,” I said to distract him. It worked and we were back to talking about casual things. Like work and the weather and our families.
We shared a shower, and he left an hour before Chase stopped in to check me over.
“How are you feeling?” he asked after nearly pushing through the door.
“I’m much better.” This wasn’t even a lie. “I just needed to stay in bed.” With Marcus Weller kissing every inch of my skin.
I made my brother some dinner as he told me about how difficult it was getting to avoid Tonja. She had cornered him in the men’s room.
I wanted to tell him he was getting what he deserved, but he was my brother. I had to take his side.
He picked me up for work the next morning, just like normal and after a few jibes about being a candy ass from the guys, life went on like normal.
Except when Marcus came in. He looked over at me, and while I wasn’t connected to his mind, I could still read the thoughts going through his head as he bit his lip to keep from smiling too much.
The blinds were open in Mr. Weller’s office all week. Occasionally when I would look up at him he was looking down at me. I worried that other people in the plant would notice. Not that we could tell who or what he was looking at. It felt like a spotlight was trained on my beaming face every time our eyes connected.
“What’s with Weller? He’s always watching us now. Do you think he’s looking for people to cut back if they’re not working? I’m afraid to stand still for even a second,” Robby complained at break one day. “I’ve got a baby on the way,” he mentioned. I wanted to remind him he shouldn’t be using his money on beer at the bar every Friday night, but I held my tongue.
My phone vibrated in my pocket with a text. I pulled it out to see a message from Marcus who I had listed in my contacts as Dr. Marks. Can I C U 2nite? it said and my insides melted a little.
I texted back a quick yes.
He came to the back door around nine. I was wearing some lingerie I had recently purchased which he seemed to enjoy. He started taking it off with his gift, but when it was taking too long he started using his hands, too.
He kissed me goodnight before he left around midnight.
“Hey,” I mumbled. “Stop spending all your time looking out your office window. You’re freaking everyone out,” I warned him.
“I’m allowed to do whatever I want. That’s why I’m the boss.” He kissed my neck and chuckled.
The next day I was happy to see his blinds were closed.
“Jaz!” Wayne, the crew leader, beckoned me about ten minutes after Marcus got in.
I wiggled my way out of the unit. “What?”
“Weller wants to see us in his office.” He pointed upstairs while Dennis and Clucky oohed like I was in trouble.
I felt like I should clean myself up a bit, but it would look suspicious, so I just threw my gloves on the bench and tucked a few lose strands of hair back under my backward ball cap.
I followed Wayne into the office. Marcus was sitting at his desk. Denise, his assistant, was sitting in the chair next to him. He gestured to the two seats in front of his desk and Wayne and I sat down.
I was impressed by the way Marcus looked perfectly normal. My heart was about to beat out of my chest in worry that I would let something slip, but he was there like I was any old employee.
“Good morning, Wayne, Jasmine,” he said. His lip twitched a little when he said my name. No one else would have noticed, but it made me feel warm inside that I had affected him after all. “As I’m sure you are aware, Scott Thomas has left the company rather abruptly. That leaves us with a large role to fill in the company. Rather than try to find a plant foreman with enough experience to replace him, I’ve decided it would be better to promote from within the company. I would like to offer the job to Wayne and then have Jasmine take Wayne’s position as crew leader. Then we only need to fill a welding position.”
Wayne and I both smiled simultaneously. Wayne was a good pick for plant foreman. He had worked his way up so he knew what he was talking about. He wouldn’t just spout out orders.
“I will speak to you individually regarding your pay increases. Jasmine you will need to work with Helen in Human Resources during the hiring process. I’d like you to sit in on the interviews so you can pick someone who will fit in with your team.”
I nodded.
“Wayne, once you get Jasmine trained, I’d like you to spend a few days with the crew leaders in the other departments so you’ll have a better understanding of the whole plant.”
Wayne made a note on his tablet.
“Jasmine if you could wait out in the other office for a moment,” Marcus dismissed me and I smiled as I walked out of his office.
I sat on one of the stiff chairs in Denise’s office thinking of myself as a crew leader. How I could run my department. Then I thought over my promotion more thoroughly.
Was I being promoted because I was the best person for the job, or because I was sleeping with him? All of the joy of the moment faded away with that thought. Was I sleeping my way to the top? Or to the middle, in this case? I was almost to the point of tears when it was my turn to go back in and get my new wage information. I almost wanted to go tell him to shove it, but I didn’t.
I was going to need a new roof on my house soon. And despite the reason he was promoting me, I was the best person for the job. Clucky didn’t take anything seriously and Dennis was late and disorganized.
I went back into his office when Wayne came out. I sat down and waited. He smiled at me a little more this time, and then he shuffled some papers around on his desk like he was looking for something.
“Denise? Can you grab me one of those blue papers for HR? I don’t have one for Jasmine.”
“Sure,” she said and jumped up to go retrieve the paper.
As soon as she was outside he leaned over his desk and whispered quickly to me,
“Before you even think anything, this has nothing to do with us…outside of work. Before Scott left I asked for his recommendation on his replacement. This is what he suggested and I agreed. Even though he was a backstabbing bastard, he was still a smart plant foreman and you are the best person in the welding department for this job.”
“Thank you. I could kiss you,” I said and he laughed.
“Later.” He winked as Denise came back in with the blue form. “Your new duties will include attending the plant meeting once a week. Also, filling out production reports, ordering supplies, and scheduling your crew. As well as approving time off, and things of that nature.” I listened as he explained and went over my pay increase. I watched Denise’s expression to see if it was out of line, but she didn’t respond so I took that to mean it was a normal increase.
“Thank you, Mr. Weller,” I said as I stood to leave. Denise was looking down to write something so he blew me a kiss making my heart pound happily. I signed the paperwork and left the office to go back down to my department.
Wayne had already told the other two about our promotions when I got back down there. They seemed happy and supportive.
“Well, I guess that’s it for us, Jaz. I won’t be hitting on my boss,” Dennis kidded while Clucky laughed.
“So, I told Weller that I would probably have you trained by the end of the day,” Wayne said. “Let’s get to it,” he said seriously and showed me into his, make that my office.
It was a mess, but Wayne always knew where everything was. I would need to straighten things up, or I would go crazy. We went over entering the production tickets into the computer so I could fill out the reports. No problems there.
Next, we went over the schedule, which was pretty simple. Don’t give two people off at the same time. Duh. He showed me the supply order forms.
Last, we went over scheduling and prioritizing incoming work orders. “You were already doing this for the most part. You really made my job easy.” He patted me on the back. “Since we are the last step before the unit goes to QC and gets shipped, you will e-mail the ETA for each unit to Weller every day. He’s a very hands-on owner. He likes to know what’s going out.” I knew very well how hands-on he was. It made me smile. “I’m glad Weller picked you, it will make at least one part of my new job easier.”
“I’ll do my best,” I promised.
He let me do everything for the rest of the day. I didn’t have any problems.
“I knew you would get this in a day. You’re really too smart for this place, Jaz. Why don’t you do something”—Wayne struggled to find a word—“cleaner?” I laughed at his choice. I knew he wanted to say, “More suited for a girl.”
“I like it here,” I answered simply.
“If you need anything, you know where I’ll be.” He smiled and pointed upstairs toward his new office across from Marcus’s with a matching window that looked down over the shop.
At lunch my brother gave me a high five, having already heard the news. Information traveled fast in this plant. “Congratulations, Jaz!”
“Thanks!”
“You guys have to listen to my little sister at work and at the track now,” Chase said amused.
“Well, at least we get paid to listen to her bitch at us now,” Dennis grumbled.
A few of the girls from general assembly came over to congratulate me. Usually they didn’t say any more than hi when we passed in the bathroom so this was a shock. I guessed it was a we-are-woman kind of thing.
They were not like me. They wore makeup and did their hair and flirted with the guys. There had been many a marriage ruined by the girls in general assembly.
When I got back to my office, IT had already been there and gave me my own login. I had my first e-mail already. It was from Marcus, welcoming me to my new position.
I used the phone and the privacy of my new office to call up to Mr. Weller’s office.
He answered professionally.
“Hello, I was just testing out my phone.”
“Are you happy?” he asked in a tone that let me know he was alone.
“Yes. I was wondering if you would like to come to my house for dinner tonight?”
“You’re asking me out?” he said in surprise. So far, he had initiated everything.
“Yes. I am,” I said with fake confidence.
“I have a meeting with my lawyer tonight. Tomorrow?”
“Would you like to come over tomorrow?” I asked officially.
“Yes. Of course, I would like to come to your house for dinner.”
“I’m not using anymore sick days, so you’ll want to be prepared to get up at four thirty.”
“So I’m already guaranteed to be able to stay overnight?” He chuckled.
“Yes, I should have been more specific. Would you like to come to my house tomorrow night for dinner, sex, and sleeping until four thirty the next morning?”
“Yes to everything.”
“Well, I have to go. I don’t want to get in trouble. My boss is a real hard ass.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he sniffed.
“’Bye.” I giggled and hung up.
About an hour later Staci Weller came into the plant.
It was as if the whole building held their breath at the sight of her presence.
She strolled through in her tight, white skirt and low-cut red blouse. Her long, blonde hair fell in perfect waves that bounced as she walked. Her heels had to be at least four inches high as she maneuvered the steel stairs to go up to Marcus’s office. Why anyone needed four-inch heels when they were already five eight, I didn’t quite understand.
Why had I told him to close his blinds? Now I couldn’t see what was happening. I continued to focus on my work. It didn’t matter. They were getting divorced. He was with me. Kind of. It’s okay. I took a few deep breaths and climbed inside the unit to do my job.
I glanced up at the window again as I put my gear away for the day. My brother was waiting for me by the time clock.
“I’m going to drive myself tomorrow. I want to stay after to clean up my office.”
“Look at you! Ms. Business.”
“Hey, do you think they’re getting back together?” Dunner asked as we walked across the parking lot. I noticed Marcus’s car was gone, though I hadn’t seen him leave.
“Why?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too interested.
“They left together. She was smiling.” He held up his hands and wiggled his eyebrows insinuating something. My blood cooled with fear.
They were somewhere together? Then I remembered. Marcus had said he had a meeting with his lawyer. It was probably with Staci, too. No worries, I told myself.
No worries.
Until the next day when he didn’t come in.
I was very busy doing my regular job and my new crew-leader job. When I sent the ETA reports to Marcus I received a return greeting saying he was out of the office today and would address my e-mail upon his return.
I stayed an hour after work to organize my tiny office. I filed some old papers and cleaned everything. It felt like mine by the time I was finished.
I went home and showered. I put on some sweatpants and a T-shirt and started dinner. I made lasagna because I had seen in his thoughts that it was his favorite. When it was in the oven and the wine was chilling I went up to change.
I put on a sundress and makeup and did my hair. He was going to be surprised when he got here.
I set the table and put on some soft music before I put the rolls in the oven at ten till eight.
At ten after eight I was pulling the rolls out of the oven in my empty kitchen. He was late.
He was never late.
I called him and it went straight to voice mail.
I took the lasagna out of the oven and sat at the table while I waited for him.
At ten, I went upstairs and took off the dress. I put on some pajamas and washed the makeup off my face before I got in bed. I stared at the moon through the window. It almost looked like daytime in my barren bedroom. I used my gift to lower the blinds and block the light so I could go to sleep.
I checked my phone as soon as I woke the next morning. Nothing.
I drove myself to work. It was Friday, which meant we had a plant meeting in the afternoon and I wasn’t sure if it would go past quitting time. I didn’t want to make Chase late for the pub. Plus, I was becoming more aware that I was going to want to be alone.
Marcus had left with Staci two days ago. Marcus didn’t come to work yesterday. Marcus hadn’t shown up or called last night. These facts were adding up to a lot of pain for Jasmine.
I had put on some eyeliner and mascara today and brushed my brown hair back into a smooth ponytail, but as I walked into the plant I knew what I looked like and I knew what Staci looked like.
The plant was abuzz with the news that Mr. and Mrs. Weller were going to couples counseling to try to work things out.
“Good for them,” I said through clenched teeth. “They deserve to be together,” I added. Translation: if looks are so important to the shallow asshole, he deserves to be with the wretched, cheating whore. I smiled and went into my office.
I sat with Helen our HR person to go over the requirements for the person taking over my old position.
By lunchtime, the rumors had escalated. Mrs. Weller was moving back into the house.
“I don’t know why people bother to get married,” I said. “It’s all a big inconvenience. Why did you bother to do it?” I pointed to all the guys at the table. I expected them to come back saying they didn’t know either, or they wished they hadn’t, but to my surprise they didn’t.
“Getting married was the best thing I’ve ever done. My wife is great. She lets me do the racing thing on the weekends as long as I help her through the week with the kids. It’s a fair deal, I think,” Dennis answered first.
“Jazzy, look at me. How else would I ever be guaranteed to have sex with a woman at least once a month without having to pay for it?” Clucky explained causing me to smile a little.
“Once a month?” Dunner replied with a smirk. “Dude, I’m surprised you got anyone to sleep with you ever. I love my wife. Sure there are hard times, and we don’t always agree on things, but that’s all part of it. Mr. and Mrs. Weller should try to work it out if they are in love.”
“Ahhhh!” The table mocked Dunner and his confessions of love. I went into the bathroom and cried silently in the stall. How could he do this? Why? He could have just called and told me it wasn’t going to work out. Didn’t I even deserve a phone call? I spent the rest of my lunch hour in the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” Chase whispered as I picked up my things from the table.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Are you nervous about your meeting today?” I nodded. I was very nervous about my meeting today.
Not only was it my very first production meeting, I was going to have to sit in the same room with Marcus and act like everything was fine, when it wasn’t.
“You’ll do great, I know it,” Chase encouraged.
“Thanks,” I said and went back to my department.
I grudgingly headed up to the meeting at two. Wayne was excited about conducting his first meeting as plant manager. I would have been excited too, except for Marcus.
I tried not to make eye contact with him as we filed into his office. There were snacks and sodas over on the table. Everyone went over to get something. I just sat down. I made a point of sitting on the sofa opposite the one we had sex on.
I could feel him trying to get my attention, but I wouldn’t look. If I looked into his eyes I might lose it, and I very much didn’t want to lose it right then.
“Okay, let’s get started so we can get on with the weekend.” Wayne got the meeting underway. “I want to start by saying thank you to everyone for helping me get to this point. Mr. Weller, thanks for giving me this chance, and to all of you who have taught me so much about this company.
“One of my goals as the new plant manager is to cut costs and increase production.” I’m sure that was the goal of every plant manager in every plant around the world. “I would like to take some time at each meeting and discuss how we can accomplish this goal. Small steps can make a big difference. We can go around the room and everyone can throw something out there.
“It doesn’t have to be brilliant, but it could be a jumping off point for a brilliant idea,” he explained. “As we go through the meeting this afternoon, everyone think of something and we will go around the room before we leave.” Yeah. On the spot in the first meeting. Not to mention, dumped so your boss can go back to his cheating wife. Ugh!
Marcus took over then. I was still careful not to make eye contact. I started by looking at his lips while he spoke, but then I remembered his lips and it brought on a wave of pain, so I looked at his throat. I remembered kissing his neck. I looked at his chest…eventually, unable to look at any part of him, I just focused on the clock behind his head.
He droned on with numbers and prospective clients. Ray, the head of the sales department, took over then with more numbers and high hopes. An hour later we were wrapping up. Wayne stood and said it was time to go around the room and come up with a cost saving idea.
“Okay, let’s start with the new kid. Jaz. Go ahead,” he prompted.
“Me first?”
“You’re sitting on the end,” Wayne pointed out.
“Okay,” I stammered. “I was thinking that if we had some type of cost savings incentive program, the people downstairs would do a better job at this than we would. The people downstairs who touch these things know what they need and what they don’t. For example, Wayne, do you remember last year when I pointed out we were wasting weld on a tab that was not needed? You spoke to Mr. Weller about it and we cut it out of the plans. I figured it up once and that change saved a whole spool of welding wire every ten units. It wasn’t a big change but it adds up. If we gave the workers downstairs a reason to want to cut something, they would. Maybe tickets to a ball game or a cash incentive. If the people in this room try to cut things, we could end up making a mess.” I shrugged when I was finished.
“Very nice,” Marcus praised me, but I still didn’t look at him. “Ray…?”
Ray went on and then Don and Jed and so on.
Eventually, the meeting was over and we got up to leave. I was trying to make my escape quickly, but no one would get out of my way. The others were slowly making their way out the door like they didn’t know it was Friday at quitting time.
“Jasmine? Could you stay for a minute? I wanted to talk to you about the incentive program,” Marcus requested. Sure he did. My shoulders fell.
“I kind of have plans, could we do it another time?” I begged as everyone looked at me like I had some nerve.
“It will only take a minute,” he assured me. I nodded and stayed by the door as one by one the others were allowed to leave.
“Did you want me to hang around, too?” Wayne asked. I looked up hopefully.
“No, I’ll get with you on Monday. Have a nice weekend,” Marcus said to Wayne.
“Good job, kiddo,” Wayne said encouragingly as he patted me on the head and left. The door closed behind him, and I watched as the lock in the door turned on its own. I sighed.
“That was a good idea, Jasmine.”
“Thanks,” I said glumly, knowing this wasn’t really what we were going to be talking about.
“I need to speak with you about yesterday.”
“Really? Do we have to? I mean, I’m fine. I get it.”
“I told you I was coming over and I didn’t show up. It was rude. I should have at least called, but I didn’t know what to say. Seeing you here…”
“Really. It’s fine.” I held up my hand, begging him to stop.
“Could you look at me?” he asked.
“I don’t think so.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” he said sadly. I wasn’t sure which thing he meant. The sleeping with me or the going back to Staci.
I needed him to stop. It hurt so bad. “Look, if you want to be with her, you should be with her. I just want you to be happy.” Not once did I look at him.
I felt him take a few steps closer to me.
“I know you mean that even though I don’t deserve it.”
“I do mean it. Can I go now?” I begged. My hands were starting to shake.
“You and Staci are so different,” he reasoned. That really didn’t help. Did he have to point it out? Rub salt in the wound? Was he going to go down detail by detail and tell me why he chose her over me? Starting with what? The fact that she could be a model and I looked like a…girl welder?
“You just figured that out?” I spat. I was getting upset. Both sofas started to come off the floor. I began panting with the exertion of keeping them still.
I didn’t want to hurt Marcus. I didn’t want to throw a fit like a child. I felt Marcus use his power to help me put them back on the floor.
He grabbed a few tissues and walked over to me quickly as I noticed my nose was bleeding from the effort. I snatched the tissues from him and put my head back as he guided me over to one of the sofas.
I was still panting, and now tears were starting because I was angry and humiliated.
“Shh. Take deep breaths,” he said calmly as he touched my face. I batted his hand away from me and tried to get up. He wouldn’t allow it. “Just stay still for a minute. Please relax.”
“I’m relaxed,” I lied. “Can I go now? Please? I’d rather not talk about it.”
“I want to explain,” he started.
“You don’t need to explain anything to me. Like I said before, I’m not expecting anything from you. Please just let me go.”
“That is a lie,” he said quietly.
“What is?” I challenged and looked at his face for the first time, trying to read it.
“That you don’t expect anything from me.”
“I don’t!” I sat up. The bleeding had stopped. I used the other tissue to wipe away my tears.
“I saw your thoughts, Jasmine. You have me on this pedestal. You think I’m so great. At first, I was flattered. I thought it was nice to have someone feel that way about me. It’s not me!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You’ve got expectations for me so high I have no hopes of ever being what you think I am. It scared me. I’m going to let you down. I already have. I’m just a regular man. I make mistakes. I made a huge one yesterday. I thought it would be…easier if I just went back to Staci. I know what she wants from me. Money. I can give her that. I can’t give you what you want. I can’t give you this perfect man that you’ve created in your head. I’m not him, Jasmine. I’m just me.”
I shook my head defiantly. “I know who you are, Marcus. You are a good person. You care about everyone here. You are great. I know you’re not perfect, maybe you didn’t see it clearly. I just always thought you were perfect for me.”
By the last sentence my voice had faded to no more than a breath. I shrugged. I was embarrassed to have to say this, especially now when I was being dismissed, but he needed to know he was better than Staci. “You’re not a regular man, Marcus. You are special. And, not just because of your money.”
I tried to stand and he let me. I was calm now. I was heartbroken and devastated but at least I was calm. I started to walk toward the door.
“I’m not with her. We’re still going through with the divorce,” he informed me quietly.
“I hope you find someone who makes you happy,” I said honestly and left his office.