| |
Cameron
During the first few days following Chase’s attack, I’ve been sticking close to home. I don’t go for a run, which is not helping the hostility I have toward my brother. I think about texting Chase to warn him to never contact Rain again, but Shirlene isn’t comfortable with that. She worries it will only provoke him. Since she’s the one who was hurt, I respect her decision, but I want to bash his head against the wall and see how he likes it.
Shirlene is sleeping in her own room now. I understand on one level, but I wish she’d at least talk about why. If it’s the assault, that’s one thing, but I have the feeling it goes deeper. Does she regret our making love?
As I check my school emails on my laptop at the dining table, I can watch Shirlene and the baby through the open front door. They are just feet away on the screened porch. There’s a ding on my laptop. My principal is moving up the meeting at school. Damn, I have to go to Philly. This really sucks right now.
Shirlene flinches when I come out onto the porch.
“I’m sorry.” I sit down in the rocker next to her. “I should have said something.”
“It’s okay. I was so focused on Arlene that I didn’t hear you coming. I’m a little anxious.”
“That’s understandable. It’ll take time. Would going to an AA meeting and talking about it help?”
“I’ll consider it.”
“I have to ask if you’re upset about my texting Chase and not telling you.”
“You apologized, and I’m over it.” Shirlene bites her lip.
“So it’s the attack.”
“Cam, you need to back off. I’m not ready to talk about it with you or at an AA meeting. I need some space.”
“I’ll try, but I have an issue to discuss. I’m afraid my department meeting has been rescheduled, and tomorrow, I have to go up to Philly for the day. Why don’t we make an overnight trip and stay in your house?”
Shirlene’s eyes widen. “Why can’t I stay here for the day?”
“Frankly, I’m uncomfortable with you here by yourself. If you’re in Haddon Heights, Chase has no idea where you are. You’ll be safer.”
Tears immediately pool in her eyes. She glances away. “I can’t go there right now. It’s too full of memories and anger with Stan, which I can’t process now on top of everything else.”
“Shirlene, when I have to go back to school at the end of this month, where do you expect to live?”
Her eyes become steel. “I want to stay here.”
“If you can’t face your home, at least stay in my apartment, where the Haddads are downstairs.”
“Let’s not worry about it now. We have a little time.” She rocks the baby in her arms.
“But I have to go up for this meeting tomorrow.”
“I’m staying here. I’ll be okay for the day. You’ll be back for dinner. The police are alerted. The locks have been changed.”
“I’m not comfortable with this.” I touch her arm. It feels wonderful to have some contact. Any contact.
Shirlene shifts the baby so she can pat my hand. “Cam, I’ll be fine. We’ll both be safe. You’re worried, but I must be able to take care of myself. A few hours alone might help me to sort some things out.”
I don’t ask her what those things are, but I hope our relationship is on the list.