If it were not for these stories, jokes, jests, I should die; they give vent—are the vents—of my moods and gloom.
—Remark to William H. Herndon, from The Hidden Lincoln: From the Letters and Papers of William H. Herndon edited by Emanuel Hertz
Some of the stories are not so nice as they might be, but I tell you the truth when I say that a funny story, if it has the element of genuine wit, has the same effect on me that I suppose a good square drink of whiskey has on an old toper; it puts new life into me.
—Remark to Illinois cavalry colonel, John F. Farnsworth, from Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years and the War Years by Carl Sandburg
I remember a good story when I hear it, but I never invented anything original. I am only a retail dealer.
—Remark to Noah Brooks, from Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years and the War Years by Carl Sandburg
I believe I have the popular reputation of being a story-teller, but I do not deserve the name in its general sense; for it is not the story itself, but its purpose, or effect, that interests me. I often avoid a long and useless discussion by others or a laborious explanation on my own part by a short story that illustrates my point of view. So, too, the sharpness of a refusal or the edge of a rebuke may be blunted by an appropriate story, so as to save wounded feeling and yet serve the purpose. No, I am not simply a story-teller, but story-telling as an emollient saves me much friction and distress.
—Lincoln’s response to a military man’s request for one of his “good stories,” June 26, 1863, from “Lincoln on His Own Storytelling,” by Silus W. Burt, as quoted in Meeting Mr. Lincoln edited by Victoria Radford
The law means nothing. I shall never marry a negress, but I have no objection to any one else doing so. If a white man wants to marry a negro woman, let him do it—if the negro woman can stand it.
—Remark to David R. Locke, 1859, from Reminiscences of Abraham Lincoln by Distinguished Men of His Time, edited by Allen Thorndike Rice
My dear little Miss:
Your very agreeable letter of the 15th is received. I regret the necessity of saying I have no daughters. I have three sons—one seventeen, one nine, and one seven, years of age. They, with their mother, constitute my whole family. As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affectation if I were to begin it now? Your very sincere well-wisher
—Letter to eleven-year-old Grace Bedell of Westfield, New York, October 19, 1860. The little girl had written to Lincoln inquiring if he had a daughter and suggesting he would look better if he let his whiskers grow. Shortly thereafter, Lincoln grew a beard and upon passing through Westfield, asked to see his little admirer and told her, “You see I let these whiskers grow for you, Grace.”
Give yourself no uneasiness on the subject mentioned in that of the 22nd. My note to you I certainly did not expect to see in print; yet I have not been much shocked by the newspaper comments upon it. Those comments constitute a fair specimen of what has occurred to me through life. I have endured a great deal of ridicule without much malice; and have received a great deal of kindness, not quite free from ridicule. I am used to it.
—Letter to actor James H. Hackett, November 2, 1863, responding to Hackett’s embarrassment for giving a letter that Lincoln had written him to the press
Now, my man, go away, go away! I cannot meddle in your case. I could as easily bail out the Potomac River with a teaspoon as attend to all the details of the army.
—Remark to soldier who got in to see Lincoln at the White House and persisted in asking Lincoln to redress his grievance, from “Life in the White House in the Time of Abraham Lincoln” by John Hay
My dear Sir:
The lady bearer of this says she has two sons who want to work. Set them at it if possible. Wanting to work is so rare a want that it should be encouraged.
—Letter to Major Ramsey, October 17, 1861
Col. Fielding:
The bearer is anxious to go to the front and die for his country. Can’t you give him a chance?
—Note to Colonel Fielding written after Lincoln met a man in the street who informed him that he’d be happy to die for his country, if only given the chance
My dear Sir:
Hadn’t we better spank this drummer boy and send him back home to Leavenworth?
—Letter to Edwin M. Stanton recommending leniency to a fourteen-year-old boy who had been court martialled and sentenced to be shot
Tell me what brand Grant drinks so I can send some to all my generals.
—Remark to a congressional delegation urging that Lincoln dismiss Grant because of his drinking, 1863, from Grant, Lincoln, and the Freedman by Chaplain John Eaton
At another time, a gentleman addressed him, saying, “I presume, Mr. President, that you have forgotten me?” “No,” was the prompt reply: “Your name is Flood. I saw you last, twelve years ago, at—” naming the place and the occasion. “I am glad to see,” he continued, “that the Flood flows on.”
—from Six Months at the White House with Abraham Lincoln by F. B. Carpenter
It seems to me Mr. Capen knows nothing about the weather, in advance. He told me three days ago that it would not rain again till the 30th of April or 1st of May. It is raining now & has been for ten hours. I cannot spare any more time to Mr. Capen.
—Memo regarding Francis L. Capen, a would-be meteorologist who had been pestering Lincoln, April 28, 1863
One night an elderly gentleman from Buffalo said, “Up our way, we believe in God and Abraham Lincoln,” to which the President replied, shoving him along the line, “My friend, you are more than half right.”
—from “Life in the White House in the Time of Abraham Lincoln” by John Hay
If any personal description of me is thought desirable, it may be said, I am, in height, six feet, four inches, nearly; lean in flesh, weighing on an average one hundred and eighty pounds; dark complexion, with coarse black hair, and grey eyes—no other marks or brands recollected.
—Autobiographical sketch, December 20, 1859
The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is the reason he makes so many of them.
—Remark, December 23, 1863. Lincoln recalled this remark from a dream in response to someone in the crowd who recognized him and observed that he was a very common-looking man, quoted by John Hay from Letters of John Hay and Extracts from His Diary edited by C. L. Hay
I have stepped out upon this platform that I may see you and that you may see me, and in the arrangement I have the best of the bargain.
—Remarks at Painesville, Ohio, February 16, 1861
I presume, sir, in painting your beautiful portrait, you took your idea of me from my principles, and not from my person.
—Remark to an artist who had painted Lincoln’s portrait from a photograph, from Six Months at the White House with Abraham Lincoln by F. B. Carpenter
For people who like that sort of thing, that is about the sort of a thing they would like.
—Remark to young poet who asked Lincoln what he thought of his newly published poems, from Lincoln Talks: A Biography in Anecdote edited by Emanuel Hertz
If General—had known how big a funeral he would have had, he would have died years ago.
—Remark to David R. Locke about a recently deceased politician who was known for his great vanity, from Lincoln Talks: A Biography in Anecdote edited by Emanuel Hertz
Dear Sir:
Your note, requesting my “signature with a sentiment” was received, and should have been answered long since, but that it was mislaid. I am not a very sentimental man; and the best sentiment I can think of is, that if you collect the signatures of all persons who are no less distinguished than I, you will have a very undistinguishing mass of names.
—Letter to man requesting Lincoln’s autograph, January 5, 1849, from The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln edited by H. Jack Lang
