I swallow the last mouthful of pasta and wash it down with some water. Beth watches me from across the dining table and I smile at her.
‘Sorry, I get a little awkward when I’m hungry,’ I say.
‘Nothing to apologise for.’ Beth stands up and carries the plate to the sink. ‘Wine?’
‘No thanks.’
We move into the lounge and Beth switches on the television. A playlist of music fills the room, a mix of indie and soft rock sets the mood and I relax into the sofa. She remembered the music I like and I’m impressed. Beth sits beside me and sips on her wine.
‘Did you enjoy your day?’ I ask.
‘I did, it was nice to explore this side of Scotland.’
‘You haven’t said much about what happened,’ I pry.
‘The text?’ Beth sighs. ‘It was nothing.’
‘Didn’t seem like nothing. You were really shaken up about it.’
Beth shifts in her seat and, again, I know she is uncomfortable talking about it. However, I am determined to get it out of her, even if she shares just a little. I want her to place her trust in me. I need her to if this is going to work.
‘I went through some things last year. I feel like I lost a little bit of myself.’ She hesitates. I reach over and touch the back of her hand, offering my support.
‘What happened? You can tell me.’ My tone is gentle, yet with enough force that I think I can bring it out of her. Gaining her trust is what’s needed.
Her eyes glisten against the last of the light which shines through the lounge window. I can see the terror of her memories in their reflection and I decide it’s something to cling on to that.
‘I was seeing someone, not for long. He was too intense. I couldn’t breathe.’ She swallows hard and I watch her throat constrict and release. ‘I ended it. But he wouldn’t accept that we were over.’
‘He decided otherwise?’ I ask, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.
Beth nods and I shift along the sofa so I am closer to her. Her chest rises and falls gently, as if she is breathing me in, drinking in my scent. My presence is making her open up, she feels safe with me. I can tell because her shoulders fall a little, as if she is letting go of some kind of stress.
‘Let’s just say that things didn’t end well and that’s why I moved here.’
There is silence between us for a moment, only the sound is the music filling the room. I don’t let go of her hand. Instead, I let the silence linger between us, allowing her to process her willingness to bare her soul to me. I watch as her lips part a little, like there are words waiting to spill out, but she hangs back.
‘Do you want me to stay with you tonight?’ I ask. ‘I can sleep on the couch. If it would make you feel safer?’
Her expression softens upon hearing my words and she smiles. ‘I’d like that.’
Beth heads upstairs to the bathroom and I go into the kitchen where I left my bag. I pick it up from the floor and open it, taking my phone out and composing a text message to Vic.
I hear Beth coming down the stairs and I put the phone back in my bag and close it. I glance up at her and she is smiling widely at me and something stirs in my stomach. I find myself smiling back at her.
‘My bed is big enough for two, if you want to share?’ she says, holding out her hand and I take it before she leads us upstairs.
I’m doing this for Vic, it’s all for her, I think to myself as I lay down on the bed with Beth. Staring into her eyes, I force myself to think of the end goal. Justice for Vic. However, the thought is slowly pushed to the back of my head as Beth kisses me and I allow myself to enjoy the moment. I haven’t felt this kind of intimacy in so long that Vic quickly disappears from my vision as Beth takes over.