I watch her, beautiful as ever, as she crosses the threshold and sits opposite me. I want to reach out to her, to touch her. Of course, the handcuffs prevents that from happening, so I simply smile. I note the book she is holding in her hands.
‘Beth,’ I say, tasting her name on my lips. ‘You look well.’
‘Can’t say the same for you,’ she replies.
‘I’ll let you have that one.’
I notice how her eyes dart around the room and then to the two men in the room wearing a very clinical uniform before she settles on me again.
‘What do you want, Lydia?’
‘To explain what happened,’ I say. ‘You see, Victoria and I share a common ground, in that we share the same body. A host, if you like. One body, two very different lives.’
‘Yes, Dissociative Identity Disorder. Greg told me,’ Beth says and the mere sound of his name on her lips angers me. ‘So, which one of you is the real deal?’
‘Sorry?’ I ask.
‘Who is real?’
‘That’s me,’ I say quickly. ‘Victoria is my alter.’
Beth is shaking her head and I feel I am shaking mine too. She doesn’t believe me. I don’t blame her, her life over the last year or two has been pretty stressful.
‘According to Greg, you only showed up after Gill died, Victoria’s sister? But you made Victoria ill. Greg said that she managed to make you go away for four years. But when he started seeing me, that’s when she started behaving strangely and he guesses that’s when you came back.’
‘He’s wrong,’ I say, angry that I was unable to finish the job on Greg properly. He had been too strong for me, had managed to fight me off and hold me down until the police arrived. Bastard always got his way. ‘Okay, I shouldn’t have done what I did. But I love you, Beth. I fell for you when I didn’t expect it.’ There are tears in her eyes, but her expression remains calm. ‘We could’ve been good together, Beth.’
‘It was you who made me think I was going insane. The texts, making me think Lawrence had come back when I knew he was dead.’ She waves the book in my face, her expression serious. ‘You stole my diary, the police found it in Greg’s house because that’s where Victoria lived too. You intended to destroy me from the very beginning.’
I don’t say anything for a few moments as I try to gather my thoughts and shut Victoria up in my head.
‘It’s a shame I didn’t succeed then, if that’s the way you feel. Just remember, Beth. You and I are the same. Lawrence almost destroyed your life, you almost destroyed Victoria’s life and I almost destroyed yours. I nearly killed Greg because of what you two were doing to her. You deserve everything you get and that’s hard for me to say because I do love you.’
Beth stands and leans her hands on the table and hovers over me. I look up at her and I feel her breath on my face. ‘We are far from the same, Lydia. You didn’t kill anyone. But I did, and if I had to, I could quite easily kill you. I’ll leave that with you, let it sink in while you rot in here.’
She walks away and doesn’t look back as she closes the door.
I hear Victoria, somewhere in the back of my mind, screaming for me to let her out. This is it now, my life. Stuck inside this insanity box, battling with Vic every waking second on who gets to take the lead. I suppose it doesn’t really matter now because we’re never getting out of this place. A building for the clinically insane. That’s what it feels like.
‘We’re not insane, that’s just you,’ Vic says and when I look up, she is staring at me from the opposite side of the room.
‘How did you get out?’ I ask.
‘I didn’t. We’re still here, aren’t we? All because of you and your sick plan. You couldn’t stay away, could you? You couldn’t just let me be?’
I shake my head in disbelief. ‘Vic, you asked me to help you.’
‘No, I didn’t. You just made me think that I did. Remember, you’re in my head, all the time, driving me to do the things I could never do. Somehow, you managed to conjure up enough strength to take over and you drove us to end up here. You’re a killer, Lydia. You plotted to kill Matt and succeeded. You wanted to kill again. Now we’re stuck in here and it’s all because of you. Your plan to keep me locked in the boot of this crazy car that you’ve been driving backfired to the point where neither of us is free to live now.’
I can’t keep my focus on her as she darts from one corner to the next, her every word feeling like a punch in the gut.
‘I did this for you,’ I shout.
‘No, you did it for yourself. I’m your host and you tried to kill me too. I hope it was worth it.’ The words echo, growing in volume and intensity.
I try to stand, to lash out at her to make her stop.
‘Shut up, shut up, shut up!’ I scream back as I begin rocking in my chair.
The men in their clinical uniforms hold me down. I search the small, clinical room for her. But she’s gone.
Vic is gone and all that is left are the echoes of my screams. Forever.