HOW LONG DO YOU TALK?

Imagine two different men leaving their homes for work at the same time on a bright Monday morning to attend an early meeting with their clients. One lives in Germany and the other in Turkey.

Since we are imagining, let’s push the boundaries a bit and say they are both drinking coffee—prepared before leaving home—while they are driving. And guess what? They both spill coffee on their shirts 10 minutes into their drive and now have to go back home to change.

After changing their shirts, the same journey begins, but comes to a halt 15 minutes later because of an accident. After these two incidents, both of the gents enter meeting rooms with red faces, but how they apologize differs greatly.

Let’s start with our Turkish executive. Most probably he will enter the room really upset. He will start with a “you cannot imagine what happened to me!” introduction and continue by explaining all the things that happened to him that morning and complaining about how the traffic in Istanbul is becoming worse each day. Then he ends his talk by apologizing to the people in the meeting room for being late.

Our German fellow will most probably enter the meeting room just as upset as his Turkish counterpart in a parallel time zone, but will try not to show it. He will have his head down and apologize for being late. That’s it! If asked why— which seldom happens—he will give an explanation of what happened.

The first approach is called high-context (diffuse) and the second is called low-context (specific) communication. Why such different approaches? There are three main reasons.

The first one is that these two men are from different business cultures. Germany has a rule-oriented business culture, while Turkey has a predominantly relationship-oriented one. In a relationship-oriented culture, explaining the reasons in detail means showing respect to the other party. You can also think of these explanations as an escape hatch (or scapegoat!) that keeps the teller from losing face. In diffuse-oriented cultures, relationships require a high level of maintenance.

The second reason is that Germany belongs to the group of specific-oriented business cultures. That means situations have different attributes in their own context, whereas in diffuse oriented cultures, situations influence each other. If you are late to a meeting, this can affect the beginning of your presentation in every culture. But, in a specific-oriented one, getting over it and focusing on the advantages of the meeting is easier. People can specifically focus on the person, the presentation and the advantages.

However, in diffuse cultures, the person, the presentation and the outcome are considered one. Therefore, if you cannot provide good answers as to why you are late, it can harm your business.

The third reason is the one they teach us at school. Students in Turkey prepare their essays and presentations with an introduction, body text and conclusion. After almost 20 years of education in this type of environment, it influences the way you talk, even if you have an introverted personality. You first make a good start, explain what it is all about and then tell people what your intention is. The executive summary and body format is not taught in the classical Turkish educational system.

For a couple of years, I reported to an American boss who was used to getting straight answers to his questions. He was naturally raised with executive summaries. I also had a Spanish colleague from exactly the same culture as mine: he used high-context communication and education methods focusing on giving an introduction, body and conclusion. The only difference between us was the years I spent in Holland (a low context culture) and experience in inter-cultural business relations. Each time our American boss asked us about growth rates, I would answer with a number, say 10 percent, and wait. The poor Spanish guy would start with the heavy rains and end with the economic situation before revealing the figure. I knew he was doing this out of respect to our boss, but without realizing it, he was driving him crazy because our boss was considering all this introductory talk as a bunch of excuses. It was simply a conflict of different business cultures.

One day my Spanish colleague came up to me and said, “I do not know why, but he hates me for sure.” I explained to him what I just wrote above. He was a very nice and open-minded person. After our conversation, I saw the change in him during our first meeting. When everyone was waiting for a long speech, he just responded with a number and then kept quiet.

Then a funny thing happened. Being used to his explanations, our boss felt the difference and asked him to explain the reasons behind the number he gave!!

Next time, think about why “beating around the bush” conversations take so long before you start talking business in Turkey. Why do people take time explaining which route they took to get there? Why do your subordinates take time before they give you the numbers you have asked for? Think about the respect they are giving you, and the face they are protecting in the relationship they have with you. If you get used to a nice intro, you might even miss it if they stop providing it.