Chapter Eight

His hands found my waist, pulling me into his own body. I could feel the heat radiating off his torso, giving me goosebumps on my skin. I could have stopped this. I could have pushed him away, and I could have just walked away. I could have  awkwardly told him some story about how I wasn't ready, but that would have been a lie.

I was ready for this. I wasn't drunk. I was completely sober and right now, all I wanted was Myles next to me. He fought with me slightly as he pulled my shirt off and threw it to the side of the room, mixing in with the others on the ground. I pushed him onto the bed.he fell into the sheets as his hands hit the wall behind him. I quickly made my move and grabbed the edge of his pants, pulled them off and threw them in any direction my hand went.

I got on top of him, pushing myself as close as possible, my lips connected with his in a sloppy mess of saliva. I wasn't prepared for this when I woke up. I wasn't in the right frame of mind, but that wasn't stopping me. My pants slid to the floor as we retreated further into the blanket, covering ourselves. His arms linked with mine as our mouths moved with each other, our tongues dancing in each other's mouths.

I was hard, probably harder than I had been in years. My mind was not preoccupied with anything but him right now. For the first time in years, I just wanted to feel the body of someone else that wanted me. I wanted to feel loved by someone other than my family. I wanted to connect with Myles in a way I couldn't connect with anyone else.

His hands slipped into my boxers, holding me in his hands I let out a quick moan. After that, I don't really remember what happened exactly. One minute we were making out, the foreplay getting extremely hot and heavy and the next minute, I was sitting outside with a cigarette in one hand and a coffee in the other. A smile was on my face, and I just wanted to sit here forever with the feeling that was coursing through me.

"Are you packed and ready to go, Mattie?" Mrs. Winters walked out of the sliding door, taking a seat next to me. She grabbed a smoke from my pack and quickly lit it up, taking a deep breath in of the smoke. It had been a rough five years. In that time, for some odd reason, both Mrs. Winters and I had taken up smoking, something I swore I never would.

"I just put my suitcase into the car, waiting for a few more hours until I need to go. I'll be driving home in the dark, but I just don't want to leave. I start work tomorrow at seven in the morning. It's going to be an extremely long day." I flicked the cigarette, ashes floating through the wind, breaking apart into millions of tiny pieces and drifting in every direction past us.

"And I take it you're not going to continue to see Myles after this weekend?" Her question was loaded and laced with sarcasm. I knew this as soon as it left her lips. He had let it slip that it had been part of Mrs. Winters master plan to get him out there so we could have some alone time.

I quickly gave her a side glare, trying my best to keep my cool through this whole situation, "I don't know exactly what's going to happen. You planned this whole thing, didn't you? From him coming here to making sure we were alone."

I could see the half-smirk coming from her face, she looked exactly like Morgan did when he found something amusing. She just flicked her cigarette and looked around at her surroundings. I could tell she wanted to laugh, but she was doing a very good job at keeping it in. "I'm sorry if this seemed like a mean thing to do, Mattie, but you know all of us care about you. It was sad seeing you so hung up after so many years. Along with us, I think Morgan would want you to be happy. So, are you going to see Myles again or are you going to just fall back into the state you were before?"

I had to clear my mind, sitting outside with her wasn't helping. What did I really want to do? I could just continue this slump I was in for the last five years or maybe I could move on, but is that really what I should be doing? I took a deep breath, letting the world around me melt away. I sat in the chair and emptied my mind, concentrating on what I needed to think about. After a few minutes, I got out of the chair and walked into the cottage, ignoring anyone else in that moment.

I could hear Mrs. Winters yelling back to me, telling me she was sorry and that this might have been a mistake. I ignored her as I made my way to Myles' room, determination on my face. I stopped at the door and took a few breaths in, looking at the wooden door before finally knocking on it.

Opening the door, Myles took one look at me, and I could see he knew I knew, "Mattie... listen, I'm sorry. We just ... we just didn't know how to wake you up from this slump. Please don't hate me, I ... I just wanted what was best for you."

I didn't answer, I just shoved a piece of paper in his hand, smiling at him. "There, now you can text me."

Before he could answer I grabbed his hair and kissed him as hard as I could.