Introduction: As is the Custom
1. Counting the Bodies Before Breakfast
2. The Tattooed Side of the Moon
4. Fear of Flying . . . with Bloody Good Reason
5. Monkeys, Rats, Jockeys and Other Animals
6. Beware the Boys in the Black and Gold
7. Shooting the Queen’s Corgis
8. You Strip Search the Vicar – I’ll Question the Nuns
9. Hide and Seek . . . and We Shall Find
10. The World’s a Stage . . . and We Are the Trapdoor
11. Mickey Mouse Goods (Including the Ears)
12. Machine v. Man/Customs Officer v. Pilot
Part 2: Undercover (On the Knock)
15. Joining the Fun Factory: Checking in to Charlie Hotel
17. Getting into Drugs and Going on the Knock
18. Pricking Michael Jackson’s Bubble
19. The Yardie Coke Smuggler and the Future Mrs Frost?
20. Ghosts, Heart Attacks and Half-arsed Evidence
22. CROPs: The Art of Using a Clingfilm Toilet