The Soul Review
As we pass over, our awareness shifts from the physical and material to spirit, and we begin to realize that we are more than we thought ourselves to be. A perfect imprint of the physical self, our energy body appears similar to how we looked in the physical realm. However, in the high vibrations of the spirit realm, we appear younger, vibrant, and filled with light.
The journey of healing, restoration, and soul awareness begins as we leave the body behind. It is through the soul review, which usually occurs soon after passing, that the fundamental union between ourselves and the divine is celebrated.
As we enter into the soul review, we undergo a profound consciousness transformation. No longer ruled by the ego and limited thinking, we perceive ourselves through our soul’s awareness. While we retain aspects of our personality and memories of our physical life, our perception of what we experienced is transformed. We become aware that the physical life offered us the opportunity to put into practice higher attributes of our true self, such as selflessness, forgiveness, and compassion. We recognize that what we created and the actions that we took here on earth either advanced or hindered our overall soul journey into the light of all love. When we put aside our self-centeredness, greed, fear, and negativity and choose the positive, we become aware of how our soul advanced. During the soul review, the love, kindness, and generosity of spirit that we have put into practice here in the physical world is a source of attainment and joy. The moments when we chose love instead of fear, brought hope to others who were in despair, and acted from the pureness of our heart, lift us into the higher vibrations of love and the wonders and beauty of the spirit realm.
Kenni Shares His Soul Review
Since passing over, Kenni, my ex-husband, has made it a habit to visit and share his experiences on the other side with me. Before we met, he had a successful career as a musician and songwriter. As a member of a few popular bands, he toured worldwide and played on national television shows such as Saturday Night Live and on MTV. At the height of his career, he was also writing and producing music for others.
After his father died, Kenni left New York and moved back to North Carolina to help his mother. That was when I met him. At the time, he was managing a music technology store and was only able to play and write music part-time. Three years after meeting, we married and he went back to playing and writing music full-time.
Although Kenni had always enjoyed a few drinks in the evening, his alcohol consumption increased after leaving his job. His work hours shifted to late nights, and he began to go out of town on a regular basis. Our daily routines and schedules were no longer in sync, and we would sometimes pass one another in the early morning. He would be coming home from a late-night gig and I would be heading out to work.
One day I came home from work and noticed him sitting on the couch staring into space. His eyes were dark, and he looked like a ghost of himself. In that moment I knew that he was using drugs. Although he denied it, in the coming weeks and months it was obvious that he had an addiction. The tension between us grew, and one day when our house became so thick with the dark and confusing energy that accompanies addiction, I told him I thought he had a problem and we needed to deal with it.
When I shared that I couldn’t live with him if he was using drugs, he looked at me but said nothing. A few weeks later, while walking in the woods one early morning, I suddenly became aware that Kenni would rather end the marriage then stop using drugs and alcohol. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I still loved him, yet I knew there was nothing I could do to change the course he was on. Later that day, he asked me if we could talk and he told me that he was leaving. Despite my request, he gave no reason for this decision and two weeks later we were living separately.
Now, he often comes to me from the other side and shares his experiences through images, thoughts, and feelings. He seems more willing and able to communicate now that he is no longer in body. Recently he described to me what he experienced shortly before his death and how it felt for his spirit to lift out of his body.
This is what he shared.
“As I got weaker, I began to see my mom and dad. (They are both on the other side.) I could feel them by my side; my dad’s smile always relaxed me. Then one day they didn’t leave. I didn’t see them, but I knew they were close. I could feel their encouragement and Mom was telling me that it’s gonna be okay. It felt so peaceful to be with them, I forgot about everything else. I just closed my eyes and … I must’ve been unconscious when I died, I don’t really remember it. There was no stress or pain, just Mom and Dad with me, and I felt myself drifting into waves of color and light. It felt as if I was floating; there was light surrounding me and this pulsating soothing energy moving through me. I felt like I was part of God, like there was something very holy and loving with me.
“I was just chilling, happy to float along; then more intense energy moved through me. It was the oddest feeling. Like ripples of energy from within me bubbling up and surfacing as unexpected and intense emotions. I wanted to go back to just drifting and floating, but I couldn’t stop what was happening. It was like a part of me knew what to do and I just did it. I felt someone close, like a presence, but I didn’t know who it was. It felt good and loving, and it was stirring something up in me. I didn’t hear any words and I just saw light, bright light … and felt kindness. Then I felt my mom and dad and others close; I just let go, I had no choice, and it felt good to let go. All of a sudden, I felt vulnerable and humble and allowed my heart to open and receive this overwhelming love.
“Then a big wave of energy bubbled up from within me and I began to see and feel memories from my life, starting with my childhood. These weren’t just memories; I was experiencing past events in vivid detail and I knew and felt things that I wasn’t aware of at the time. Some of the memories felt really good. I could feel the happiness and positivity that some felt when I played music. When I saw myself play, it felt bigger than me, like something more powerful and joyful was moving through me. Then I had this awareness that it was never just me playing. I was part of something else, there was a powerful loving energy flowing from me, even though I never really was aware of it.
“Then other memories came that didn’t feel so good. I didn’t say or do things that I was proud of. The me that wasn’t such a nice guy, that I was embarrassed by. Still I felt love and it was okay. This presence that was close sent me the message that I did the best I could at the time. It didn’t seem to matter, what happened; I could just relax and allow love to flow through me.
“Eventually a bubble of energy moved through my heart and I felt your love for me. When you came into my life, it was such a gift. I felt your love and I felt my love for you and how happy and relieved I was to have you in my life. I thought everything was going to be good. Then I felt myself move away from you and harden my heart. I could feel how this felt to you, to be pushed away. I’m sorry. I wanted to relive my days of being free and I wanted to party and drink and do whatever I wanted when I wanted. I thought that you were in my way. I know now that it was just my immaturity getting the best of me and I hurt you. I got the feeling that part of why you came into my life was to help me grow up, but I didn’t want the responsibility.”
When Kenni expressed his awareness of the emotional impact that his choices and actions had on me, it had a profound effect. I felt his sincerity, and the pain and confusion of our breakup that was still lodged in my heart began to let go. It also got me thinking about how my choices and decisions might have brought him pain. For the next few days, my own memories surfaced. In one, Kenni was performing at an outdoor event. It was a warm and sunny day, and the crowd of people surrounding the stage was dancing and everyone looked as if they were having a good time. I stood on the side of the stage close to where Kenni was playing. When he glanced over at me with a big smile on his face, I rolled my eyes. I’m not sure why I did this, and I immediately regretted it. Kenni turned back to the crowd as if nothing happened.
As the memory surfaced, I felt the confusion he felt. It was a beautiful day made better by Kenni’s music, and he felt belittled and uncomfortable by my unexplained behavior. I sent him an apology and let him know that I was proud of him that day for the joy he brought to so many, including me. A moment later, I felt his presence and warmth. His forgiveness seeped into my heart and I felt a little lighter and more open.
In the Company of Higher Beings
During sessions many of my clients want to know who greeted their loved one and what they experienced soon after passing over. Most of the time the question comes from my clients’ fears that their loved one suffered and may have felt alone and scared. When someone passes over due to trauma, an accident, or an unexpected health issue, this is especially true.
Similar to Kenni’s experience, many of my clients’ loved ones on the other side report that they too had the sensation of floating upward into soothing and lighter waves of loving vibrations after passing over. After being welcomed by loved ones who have previously passed over, most become aware of higher beings. These higher beings stay close and guide our loved ones into the pure, peaceful, and loving vibrations of the soul review.
During readings, some have described what they believed to be angels, a loving presence, a wise master, or simply an embracing and warm light that felt holy. Others are not sure who or what is present, but they feel fully loved and known. Many communicate that they are in the presence of more than one being or a wise counsel or soul group. Often the spirit beings who come close after our passing have been with us during our physical life. They are advanced souls who have completed their earth lives and find joy in serving the greater good, one human at a time. In the physical life, we are rarely aware that there are loving beings watching over us and leading us to new awareness and opportunities. I’ve often thought that tending to us humans is likely a thankless and at times difficult role for enlightened beings. We tend to be strong-willed creatures who want our way and are often motivated by fear and selfishness. However, my guides assure me that they like and understand the challenge we provide, and they have a good sense of humor.
Along with our spirit guides we also have a guardian angel assigned to us at birth who is with us after passing over. Unlike a spirit guide, an angel has never experienced a physical life. They are pure aspects of God, divine spirit, holiness, or whatever or however you define the most loving and wise creative source of life. They are protectors of our inner divinity and keep us attuned to the love within and our higher aspirations. Without them life would be more difficult and challenging, and we could be plagued by utter hopelessness and a lack of purpose and joy.
The higher beings of light who come close and greet us after our passing are not strangers. Even though we may have never been consciously aware of them in the physical life, they are familiar to us. In their presence we feel a higher degree of love than we may have ever felt while on earth. The magnitude of their love, compassion, and kindness is humbling.
Along with spirit beings, many are aware of the presence of God, the goddess, Jesus, Mohammed, another divine master, or the higher power we believed in during our physical life. In this presence, some experience a holy transference of divine grace and forgiveness. Even for those who did not believe in a higher power, there is a sense of being in the presence of something powerful and good.
For instance, Catherine, a dark-haired young woman with multicolored tattoos covering most of her arms, seemed anxious when we began our session. Hesitantly, she asked me if I wanted to see the photos of her loved ones who had passed over that she wanted to connect with. I declined, telling her that I prefer to see who comes in on their own.
“If whoever you want to communicate with doesn’t initially come in, we’ll go from there,” I said.
As we began the session, I became aware of an older, slim man who was wearing a cap standing next to her.
After I described him to Catherine, I said, “He wants to make sure that you know he has his cap on.” As I said this, she relaxed in her chair.
“That’s my grandpa; that’s who I want to talk to,” she said.
Catherine’s grandfather talked at length and then gave messages for other members of her family. I then asked her if she had any questions for him.
“I want to know what it was like for him when he passed over. Did he make it okay?”
“I get the impression that soon after passing over he felt alone. Your grandfather is showing me an image of himself in a vast open space … Now he shows me a light; it is near him and as he wanders about, the light follows him. I feel fear, like your grandfather was afraid. Was he afraid of death? That’s the impression I’m getting.”
“Yes, he was. That’s what I want to know. He didn’t believe in God and was convinced that death was the end. His father was a preacher, and he rejected all of it. Grandpa grew up in a real fire-and-brimstone church where people believed in hell. I think he was always afraid that he was going to burn in hell and stopped believing in God.”
“Your grandfather says that he wandered around for a while and didn’t know where to go. This light being followed him, and he didn’t know what to make of it … Now, he shows me an image of himself crying and he feels lost, almost like he’s a little boy. He turns and he’s talking to the light and asking for help … He says that he started to feel a tremendous amount of love and it felt as if his heart was going to burst. Then suddenly everything changed and he was in the light with his mother and other family members who had passed over long before him. When we fear that there is a God who will judge us, we might resist going into the light when we pass over. However, wherever we are there is love, forgiveness, and compassion. The divine presence is always with us.”
“My grandpa took me in when I was a teenager. I was fighting with my mother and I went to live with him. He was always kind to me and accepted me just as I am. I just wanted to know he was okay,” Catherine said.
“He’s at peace in the light of love and still watching over you.”
New Perceptions from Our Earth Life
Once we have encountered our loved ones on the other side and sense and feel the presence of higher beings, we are led into the higher vibrations of the soul review. Some on the other side have communicated that during the soul review they are alone or that there is a single angel or light being present. My spirit guides tell me that there are usually many divine guides, teachers, and loved ones present, but they don’t want to overwhelm or draw attention to themselves and distract the soul from this important process. These beings assist and help us to balance the influx of emotions we experience by sending us waves of love and forgiveness.
During the soul review it is the beauty of our soul, along with wise and loving beings, that guides us. The manner through which the divine assists us is unlike the kind of help that the physical world offers. Here on earth we tend to be more aware of our ego’s needs than the desires of our spirit. On the other side, we ascend into the wisdom of our soul and perceive our earth life through this enlightened lens. We have new insights and understand the deeper meaning and purpose of what we’ve experienced. Divine beings assist us in understanding our new sense of self and answer any questions we may have. However, they don’t lecture, judge, or tell us what we could or should have done differently. Their emphasis is on loving us and encouraging our awareness of the divine intelligence within, which acts as a moral compass.
The soul review begins with what many have described as the appearance and sensation of orbs of energy that bubble up from within. In these orbs of energy, we view and simultaneously experience significant events from our earth life. As memories surface, they are accompanied by insights and new awareness into how our choices and decisions impacted our soul path. All that we do, think, feel, and experience in the physical life comes from the gift of free will and creative freedom. The root of this ability to choose and create lies in the masterful wisdom of the divine.
Through feeling our emotions and the emotions of those that we influenced and affected, we begin to more deeply understand and integrate our earth life experiences and lessons. As we continue to feel the emotional energy generated from our choices and actions, we are guided by powerful divine forces to come into a soul state of awareness. Soothing, peaceful waves of light energy flow through the energy body, opening the heart and allowing our true nature to emerge. There is no loneliness, selfishness, anger, frustration, pain, or anxiety on the other side. We are free to embrace our divine individuality and experience the joy that has always been within.
On the other side we don’t process thoughts or struggle to understand. Instead of thinking, our awareness is intuitive and flows naturally from the core of our being, quickly and spontaneously.
Energetically woven within our energy body is a perfect record of our thoughts, emotions, and actions during our physical life. These memories that surface during the soul review do not come from our human thought or recollection. Instead, we experience them through soul knowing and emotion.
As bubbles of memories emerge, we become aware of those things that we judged as bad or felt shame and embarrassment about. However, through our enlightened awareness we are able to forgive ourselves and others, and we experience authentic compassion. Love comes to us from all directions, and we better understand the lessons within our life events.
We feel how our choices, words, and actions affected others, even those who may not have been directly impacted at the time. Not only do we feel how our actions affected others, we become the other and experience their reactions, emotions, and feelings as if they are our own. We feel the longing for love and forgiveness and the misunderstandings and contempt that we may have harbored about others and ourselves. Instead of recoiling and sinking back into an inner hiding place, our wounds call out to be acknowledged and healed. As our shame and embarrassment about past actions, beliefs, and thoughts are embraced by love, we are filled with peace. We realize that there is no judgment for anything that we experienced. It is all an essential part of being human.
Through an enlightened perspective, free of ego and self-centeredness, we are awakened to the soulful significance of our challenges, emotional patterns, suffering, and the unconscious pain and fear that motivated us. Instead of being a victim and feeling powerless, we perceive the many opportunities we had to share, give, express our gifts, and support and love ourselves and others. We realize that there was never anything to fear. Love was always close and we were safe. From this soulful perspective, we wonder why we took everything so seriously and didn’t enjoy the beauty of the planet and others a little more.
During the soul review we learn that when we accepted our physical life circumstances and did our best to respond to whatever was asked of us in the most conscious and loving way that we could, we succeeded. The contrasts between the actions, thoughts, and beliefs that were motivated from our heart and soul and those that came from fear, human laziness, and ego are obvious. With help from divine beings and masters, we come to understand how the universe responds to and amplifies our intent, the positive as well as the negative. We recognize that when we listened to and acted on the dictates of our soul goodness, the universe responded by bringing us more positive opportunities. The love, forgiveness, and acceptance that we felt and expressed to others and ourselves in the physical world becomes a timeless source of joy.
There Is No Judgment
In some religious traditions, including Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, there is the belief that when someone passes over they go through a final judgment or reckoning by God. However, the soul review is not a time of judgment, retribution, or punishment.
Some believe that if you have committed what is considered a sin, the afterlife may be dismal. While those who lived a righteous life are in heaven, sinners are cast into hell. In ancient Egypt it was believed that a soul entered the underworld after death, where their heart was weighed on a scale of righteousness and truth. In Buddhism and Hinduism it is believed that our actions and decisions in the physical life become our karma. The sum total of our actions, both the negative and the positive, karma determines what we experience in the afterlife and in a future physical life. Karma can also be understood as the repetition of similar life lessons and circumstances from life to life.
When a loved one passes over, we may wonder where they are and what is happening to them. If we believe that our human character flaws and misdeeds are met with punishment and retribution on the other side, we may worry about our loved one’s well-being when they pass over.
In the last several years I have had a marked increase in the number of readings I have done for mothers, fathers, and other loved ones who have lost a child or young person to drug or alcohol abuse or suicide. Their grief is understandably profound. To add to the immensity of their suffering, their religious beliefs may look upon their loved one’s manner of death as a sin with the punishment of going to hell.
Many religions don’t view psychics or communicating with the other side favorably. However, the desire to communicate with a loved one who has passed over motivates some conservative religious believers to seek out a session with me. Teresa was one of them. A petite woman with light blue eyes and a gentle smile, she sat quietly, waiting for me to begin. As I said a prayer, I became aware of her mother in spirit. She showed me that she often sat next to Teresa, holding her hand and sending her comfort. As she did this, I felt a wave of the loss and sadness that Teresa was feeling. Her mother then showed me a young man whose light blue eyes were similar to Teresa’s.
“Do you have a son on the other side? Your mother is showing me a younger man; he looks like you,” I said.
“That’s Jason, my son. Is he all right? Where is he? I’m so afraid that he may have gone to hell. He was a good person, but my pastor and the people at my church tell me that he sinned. We all pray that he went to heaven,” Teresa said.
“Your son is talking fast. I’ll try to repeat what I hear … ‘I was stubborn, it’s not your fault … I feel the pain I caused you. I’m sorry, I wish I could take it from you …’ ” I said.
“I asked Jason to move out of the house before he passed over. My pastor told me he needed tough love and I had tried everything else,” Teresa said. “Tell him to stop feeling my pain. I don’t want my son to hurt anymore.”
“Your son says that he is learning about his choices in life, but he feels only love … He says that he’s getting help.”
“Who is helping Jason? Is it my mother?” Teresa asked.
“He says he doesn’t know their names … He says that there is a presence close to him, he can’t see it like a person … more like a light … it’s always with him … it feels good though. He doesn’t feel judged or that it’s mad at him or anything … He says that the light feels like love … it tells him that all, everything, is forgiven. Your son wants you to know that he’s sorry; he didn’t know how to change.”
“Ask him if he’s suffering. I don’t want him to feel bad,” Teresa said.
Jason was quiet for a moment than another stream of information came pouring in.
“He says it’s not like that, he feels how he made others feel, but he also feels like it’s okay too. He feels forgiveness and love at the same time. It’s hard to understand … a part of him feels detached from it but aware of the pain at the same time. He says that he has memories of good times too. Like when he surprised you on Mother’s Day when he was young and how his friends felt when he joked around … He didn’t know he made people happy. This brings him joy. He doesn’t know why he didn’t know this. He says this light is always near him and talks to him and knows everything about him … it tells him that one of his gifts is lifting up others. Your son laughs and says that he kind of screwed that one up.”
“Tell him that no one could put a smile on my face like he could,” Teresa said.
“Jason can hear you and you can talk to him directly,” I replied.
“Jason, I miss you so much. I miss your smile. Everything always seemed a little brighter and happier when you were there. I have to ask, could I have done something else to help you, something more? Did I do something wrong?”
“Jason says it’s all on him … He knows it and it’s the message this light sends to him. This was his lesson and challenge. He says he knows he had options and choices; you did all you could to help him. You tried. He says he didn’t want to try. He was mad at life and wanted it to be different. He wants you to know that he can feel your love, and it feels so good, he floats in it.”
“I have to ask him—did he want to die?” Teresa asked.
Jason was quiet. I could still feel his presence, but he seemed reluctant to answer. I asked him again.
“He says he doesn’t know. He was confused but didn’t think that the drugs would kill him. He kept taking more and more until his body couldn’t handle it. He says that this light will help him figure it all out.”
“What is the ‘light’? Is that an angel or God or my mother or another relative helping him?” Teresa asked me.
“Soon after passing over we encounter light beings. Some describe them as angels or loving and wise beings who know the details of our lives and our soul purpose. Those on the other side often describe a warmth and light that emanates from these beings. It sounds like Jason is going through the soul review and becoming aware of how his actions influenced his soul plan and others,” I said.
When I told her that the purpose of the soul review was increased awareness and healing and not judgment or punishment, Teresa relaxed a bit. The tension went out of her eyes and she seemed to be relieved that her son was not in hell. I explained that this is an opportunity to become aware of our choices and actions and evaluate them through the lens of our soul and heart. I let her know that loving, divine beings were caring for her son and holding him steady with love and that there is no fault finding, blame, or shame.
“People who pass over with addiction problems go to a kind of rehab in the sky where they are loved and well cared for. It is here among loving souls that they discover what led to the addiction and heal,” I said.
Before we finished, I asked Teresa if she had any other questions.
“Would you ask Jason if he can help me? I don’t know if I can make it here without him. I’m not sure I can go on.”
I felt the presence of her son, but he didn’t send any messages my way. Instead, he seemed to glow, and I could feel love welling up in his soul like a beam of intense light.
“Close your eyes,” I said to Teresa. “I believe your son has a different kind of message for you.”
As she did this, I saw the both of them wrapped in white light as one. A few minutes later, Teresa opened her eyes.
“I don’t know how to put in words what just happened. It was like I was with Jason. I could feel the touch of his skin and his love, so much love. When he was born and I looked at his beautiful blue eyes, my heart opened. This is how it felt. He assured me that he would always be here for me and I believe him.”
Acts of Love and Service Bring Peace
During the soul review we experience the joyful effects of the positive thoughts, feelings, and actions that we have contributed to others and ourselves in the physical life. In the business of everyday life here on planet Earth, so many of our difficult choices, random acts of kindness, and selfless giving go unrecognized. However, they are recorded and known in our spirit and in the heavens. It is often the small things that we say and do that are celebrated in the afterlife. Nothing is ignored or tossed aside.
Memories and experiences of giving to others, having compassion, and openhearted generosity are a source of joy and lift us into the higher vibrations of love. They also help us to better recognize and embrace our true self.
For instance, Ashley came in for a reading on a bright, sunny summer morning. Never having had a reading, she told me that she was nervous and didn’t know what to expect. After I said a short prayer, I saw an image of a male spirit that felt like her father.
“Is your father on the other side? A slim, taller man with white hair comes in. It feels as if he had been ill before he went over,” I said.
Ashley started to cry and said, “Yes, that’s him.”
“He is thanking you for taking care of him and says that he wasn’t the easiest patient. He wants you to know that his passing over was easy; his mother came to him and helped him cross over. He tells me that everything happened just as you said it would. His passing was peaceful.”
“I’m so glad to hear this—my father held on for a long time. It was hard seeing him so anxious.”
“Your father says that he didn’t want to leave. People were depending on him, and he seems concerned about others here in the physical world … I can feel his love for others … The angels are telling me that he helped and positively influenced many.”
“He started a nonprofit and raised money to help feed and house the homeless. He gave so much of himself to others. I’ve wondered if this affected his health. He worked long hours, and when someone needed him, he was there,” Ashley said. “He was kind and gave so much, always trying to do anything he could for those who suffered.”
“Your father says that this is what made him happy. However, he didn’t know if he was doing as much as he could. There were many who needed help that didn’t get it … He says that now he knows that kindness and love matter. He says it’s true that what you give to others comes back to you tenfold. Your father shows me an image of himself surrounded in light. He says that this light knows his efforts and intent and all the good he wanted to share and give. His heart and soul overflow with these blessings, and he feels deep joy. He is proud of you and of the work you do in giving and helping others and says that this is the true path to happiness.”