CHAPTER 19

 

Clarye and Gavin had their share of disagreements, of course. Most of them stemmed from Gavin wanting to go and visit old friends and acquaintances.

“Ada, I know that Gavin is what I call a people person. He loves to be around his friends. He loves to visit. And that’s good. But you know me, Ada. I’m just a homebody. All I care to do is write and spend time watching a good movie. I just want to have him here with me so I can stare in his handsome face.”

“Clarye, I understand where you’re coming from,” Ada said. “But you only feel this way because of all the garbage you’ve had in the past. Back then you couldn’t trust any one of those creeps as far as you could throw them. But that’s not the case with Gavin. You know Gavin loves you, girl. You know he would never do anything to destroy that love. You know this, girl. Now get a grip and let him get some air. Shoot, the man hardly goes anywhere. He’s here for you no matter what and you know this, Clarye.”

Once again, Clarye knew that Ada was telling her the truth of the matter. She tried to be understanding of Gavin; and most of the time she was. But Clarye knew the real reason she was feeling this way was because she couldn’t stand being apart from Gavin, not for a moment. She also knew that she was still harboring Fear in her heart. Fear that she would lose him if he ventured too far from home, from her. Yet she really wanted to allow him some time to spend with his friends. Another fear she had was a fear of the streets that held surmounting danger and evil. Clarye didn’t want to take the chance of anything happening to her beloved Gavin.

Each time he went out she began to pray fiercely to God. “Father, please protect Gavin, keep him safe, bring him home unharmed and unhurt.”

She remembered praying the same type of prayer time and time again when Eric and Jeremy were growing up. God had always answered then. Now she needed Him to do the same for her darling, Gavin. Her prayers were cries and yearnings coming from the depths of her soul. Clarye found that she could not rest, would not rest, until she heard his footsteps coming down the long hallway leading to their bedroom. Then a calmness, a peace, a thank you again, God would seep from her lips as she fell into Gavin’s chest, clinging to him tightly.

It was during these times that Gavin would remind her with patience and tenderness, “Clarye, I’m never going to leave you. We’ll be together and no one can ever separate us.”

Those words should have brought comfort and peace to her, and at times they did. But then, Clarye would begin to feel a frightening, heart wrenching feeling wash over her. The refrain of those words sent chills rushing through Clarye and Fear played her like an accomplished pianist’s fingers moving over the keys of a Baby Grand.

As if sensing her fears, Gavin would often pull her close to his body and press her head against his chest, soothing her like a parent would soothe a frightened child.

Gavin continued to talk to her. “I know you worry about me, Shorty. And I know that there’s endless evil going on in this world today.” Gavin spoke with such calmness that it produced a feeling of uneasiness that escalated inside her mind.

It was one of those nights when Gavin and his best friend Kurt had taken an early flight to Nashville. They had gone to see the Tennessee Titans’ final game of the season. Gavin and Kurt would often take a flight out to see a football or NBA game and then return most of the time, the same evening or early the next morning.

This night, when Gavin entered into the room, Clarye bolted straight up in the bed. Gavin sensed the fear in his wife and with patience instead of frustration; he went straight to the side of the bed and held her.

“Gavin, I’m so glad you’re home. Did y’all have a good time?”

“Yeah, we did. The Titans won, of course,” he said laughing.

“I’m glad you had fun. And I’m glad you’re home,” Clarye said while looking deep into Gavin’s eyes. “Gavin, I know you tell me to stop worrying, but I just can’t. And I don’t want to be one of those wives who can’t stand for their husband to do anything unless it’s with them. I just don’t understand why I get so frightened when you’re away. What’s wrong with me? I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Nothing’s wrong with you.” He held her in his arms and comforted her.

“I don’t know what I would do without you, Gavin. I love you too much and I just want you to be all right.”

“Shhh,” he said, kissing her lips softly. “I know you love me, Shorty. And with all you’ve been through in your life, I can understand your feelings of insecurity and fear. I also know, Shorty, no one can ever know what the next person has on his or her mind. But there’s nothing for you to worry about. I can take care of myself and I would never do anything to jeopardize us. I love you too much, girl. The only thing that can ever separate us is death and even then, we should both remember that our love will still go on, ‘cause nothing will ever be able to destroy that, Clarye; nothing and nobody.

Gavin picked Clarye up from the bed and turned her around in the air, until the both of them were laughing and squealing. He began to plant tiny kisses on her face. His hands began to stroke Clarye; as if trying to stroke away the fear that he knew crowded his wife’s mind. He carried her to the king sized bed and laid her down, gently spreading her legs and caressing her between her thighs. He heard her begin to moan with pleasure. He eased his body down to meet hers, all the while touching her, kissing her, stroking her. Clarye’s moans became louder and louder.

“Ahh, Shorty,” Gavin whispered hoarsely. “I love you, girl. I love you with everything in me. Don’t you ever forget that, you hear?”

Gavin kissed her on the lips, not giving her time to respond. She could only answer with a deep cry of pleasure as Gavin began to make love to her. Her body was on fire with desire. She screamed out in ecstasy.

“Gavin,” Ooh, Gavin.” Gavin, baby, I love you. I love you.”

Fire and passion consumed both of them as they reached the height of their lovemaking. All was right with their world and Clarye’s Fear was gone—for now.