H. YA’ABURNEE

 

Ya’aburnee: exclamation. An Arabic phrase literally meaning ‘you bury me.’ A declaration of one’s hope that they will die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

 

I watch as Connor falls back onto the tamped-down, blood-soaked grass. My legs fall out from under me, and in the confusion the guards relaxed their grip enough that I collapse to my knees. My eyes never leave Connor. A heartbeat later Arden pulls me into his arms, trying to force me to look away, but Connor’s face is so gaunt that I can’t.

How did I become the girl with the Midas touch?

I struggle against his ridiculously strong arms, pushing my hands against the muscles of his torso to slip free. It’s not until look up into his face that I get he’s not just holding on for me. His amber eyes are brimming with very real, very human tears.

My resolve to fight him melts. Arden tries to say something but his voice catches. He wipes his eyes with a forearm. I’m too numb with grief to even speak. It crosses my mind that we’re still surrounded by the enemy, that we should probably try to escape, but I don’t care.

Arden releases his grip as I’m drawn toward Connor’s fallen bloodied form, one foot stepping in front of the other, until I’m right there kneeling by his side. Breber is unconscious, and someone drags him away. I don’t look up to see who does it. I don’t care. My hand strokes Connor’s side, my fingertips catching on the torn fabric of his sweater, exposing the red welts across his torso where he was hit. The pool of blood around his leg seeps into the fabric of my pants and his lean muscles grow cold beneath my hands.

Not knowing what else to do, I press my forehead against his. Hot tears run from my face onto his.

This is what happens when you secretly wish for happily-ever-after.