Chapter Twenty-Nine

Kit woke the next morning with a vivid memory of last night’s dream. She was on the river in a yellow kayak, paddling with gusto, her arms aching with the effort. She was chasing something, or something was chasing her. She woke panting.

Since it was only five in the morning, too early to get ready for work, she got up, shrugged into her flannel robe, and strode into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. She cast a glance to the loft and guessed Shane was gone already. She looked out the window to the driveway. His missing truck confirmed her suspicion.

She toasted herself a bagel. While she waited for it to be browned just right, she had a good rebellious feeling watching the heat bars toast the carbohydrates that would soon be her breakfast. The wedding date was creeping up on her, and she hadn’t lost all the eight pounds she’d put on since Christmas. On a good day the wretched bathroom scale said she was down half of them. Most days, three. Today “so what” sat on her lips, and it tasted sweet. She was done trying to fit herself into someone else’s mold or someone else’s cocktail dress.

She spread a light coating of cream cheese on the too-hot bagel and took a bite of the edge so as not to burn the roof of her mouth. She ate half and tossed the rest in the trash. Her mind was on Shane. She wished he were home so she could tell him about her visit with Hop and his having to suddenly come up with a new path for himself.

The conversation would wait until later. Shane had said he was coming home right after work to study for the upcoming test. Maybe she’d make dinner for the two of them. Something celebratory. She’d even stop off at Danziger’s Bakery after work and get a fudge brownie for them to share. To hell with the phone call from Dana that had had her worried. She was sick to the point of nausea of overthinking everything. For once she was just going to go with her feelings, ride them out, as if she were in Hop’s yellow kayak.

She knew it now—she hadn’t been running from anything in her dream. She’d been rushing toward Shane. And tonight, God help her and her urge to fish out the other half of that bagel from the trash can, she was going to tell it all to the fireman.