Chapter Thirty-Seven

She made her way to the second row in the now-filled chapel and fixed her gaze on the interaction between Shane and her mother. Shane’s head was tucked low as he spoke to Mom in a whisper that the atmosphere called for. Her mother’s well-coiffed, still-unsettling red head bobbed in agreement with whatever that two-timing fireman was saying to her. Her chest constricted as she tapped the shoulder of the man on the end of the aisle, and he stood to allow Kit’s access to the pew.

“Hello, darling, you look wonderful.” Her mother squeezed her shoulders in a scrunch of delight. “Doesn’t she, Shane? Doesn’t Kit look divine?”

Out of necessity, she let her gaze filter to him. His eyes were locked on her, the green in them dark in the subdued lighting of the chapel. A rueful smile claimed his mouth.

“I couldn’t agree more,” he said. “Kit, you’re beautiful.”

“Why are you here?” Her whisper was acidic.

“I had to.”

She turned away from him. There was no point in fixing it now. She’d have to lower the boom eventually that she and Shane were done. But not now. Not in this place. She adjusted herself to sit between her mother and Shane.

She cast her gaze to the front of the room, and there he was—Brian in a tuxedo, looking as if he belonged on the top of a triple-tiered cake. He fidgeted with the black-satin bow tie at his neck. He was handsome in his finery, but it amazed her how the animosity she’d felt was gone today. He could be a stranger or an actor portraying a groom on a celluloid screen. For that she was grateful. Now she was busy trying to ignore the man seated beside her.

Shane reached over and placed a program on her lap. “I got one of these for you.”

Flustered by the feel of his hand on her leg, she fought to not flinch. There would be time later to address this man. She looked down at the pamphlet as she worked to still her mind.

“There’s a nice tribute to you inside,” he offered.

“What?”

“Read it.”

She glanced down at the cover with the names of the bride and groom in a fancy scripted font. She turned the page to read a listing of all the people involved in the ceremony, the attendants, the parents, the two flower girls, and the family friend who would be doing a reading from scripture. Then at the bottom of the page, she saw her name.

A special thank you to Kit Baxter, cousin of the bride, for her expertise in turning their grandmother’s wedding gown, a prized family heirloom, into a modern, spectacular dream dress. You make dreams come true.

She lifted her gaze to meet Shane’s.

“Looks like you’ve made quite an impression on the bride, huh?”

“Impressions can be false.” She turned away.

“I was giving you one more minute.”

Kit turned to her mother’s words. And although she was sure all this tension was making her hallucinate, there was Hop Monaco inching past people in their pew to take a seat beside her mother. He wore a charcoal-gray suit, and his tie, a riot of paisley, was crooked.

He sat between Kit and her mother. She heard him give his excuse to Mom. “There was no parking out there. I was doing laps around the block.”

Her mother didn’t look at him, just fanned herself, like a debutante, with her program. “That’s what happens when you’re late.”

“Better late than never, Red.”

From the corner of her eye, Kit saw her mother turn to him. Her mouth was in a full ear-to-ear grin. She angled her head in a coy tilt. “Time will tell, old man.”

Kit elbowed him. Her whisper was hot. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m Regina’s date.” He shrugged. “How’s that grab ya?”

She wondered what Shane was thinking but forced herself not to turn toward him.

The procession began with Brian’s mother being ushered down the aisle by one of the groomsmen. Kit knew the guy. He was one of Brian’s college friends who she’d come to know when she had been dating him. Brian’s mom wore a lacy pearl-gray gown with a cowl neckline. She looked happy and proud, regal even.

“She looks lovely.” Mom leaned over Hop’s lap and whispered to her as Brian’s mom passed their pew. “But the dye on her shoes is too dark.”

“Mom,” she said.

“I have an eye for color, that’s all.”

The comment made Hop chuckle.

The rest of the bridal party paraded in, and then everyone stood. The bride appeared, and a gasp sounded in unison in the room. She slowly navigated the aisle on the arm of Paul, their steps in precision. Co-Co beamed. Everything Kit had ever thought of her cousin had stilled in this moment, frozen in time for some other day. Gram’s dress shone like gossamer wings under the candlelight, and a sense of pride warmed Kit in the center of her chest. The bride cast an appreciative glance to Kit as she passed by their pew.

“You did such a wonderful job on the gown,” her mother whispered. She reached across Hop, placed a hand over Kit’s, and gave it a squeeze.

“Thanks, Mom.”

The ceremony went on, and Kit fought to pay attention against the whirlwind in her mind. All the things that had happened leading up to this wedding spun around and around so fast that one moment bled into another as the details ramped up the velocity. Air was thin in such a vortex.

A touch to her shoulder startled her. She turned toward Shane.

“You okay?”

“Of course.”

He offered a reassuring smile.

Go away.

The friend scheduled to do a reading made her way up to the pulpit, and Kit forced herself to concentrate. The woman spoke all the things that love was and what it was not. Kit sat up straighter, pressing her back against the cool wood of the pew. She let the words bathe her with their talk of love’s patience and its honor, how love was not a scorekeeper and had nothing to do with envy or holding on to anger. Love, she continued, rejoiced with truth, and the words cemented in her head and in her heart. They evaporated the whirlwind in her mind, leaving her with a calmness she hadn’t felt in days. She felt Shane’s eyes on her, but she would not turn toward him.

****

After the ceremony Kit and her mother waited for the valet to deliver her car. Shane came up to stand beside her.

“I’ll meet you over there,” he said to the two of them. When she did not respond, he came in close. “Please let me talk with you for a minute. Please.”

She plastered on a fake smile. “No, thank you.”

Gripping her elbow, he leaned closer to Mom and told her they’d be right back. Then he steered her toward the door.

She shot a hot whisper. “What are you doing? My car’s coming.”

“One minute. Just give me one minute.”

“No.”

They stopped, and he pulled her hands into his. For the sake of those coming and going around them, she did not yank free.

“Kit, what you saw at Jabberwocky’s was me and Dana saying goodbye. She came back for just a couple of days to finalize some things with her condo and took the time to come see me.”

“To say goodbye.”

“Not at first. At first she tried to convince me that she and I might be able to make a go of it.”

“I’ll bet.”

“But…” He touched her face. “Look at me, Kit. But I was truthful with her. It’s been over for a long time, and we agreed to wish each other well. That’s what you saw.”

His eyes, the green so bright now in the sunlight, looked true and honest. She almost told him she believed him. But there were too many lies swirling in her head from all the ones they’d been telling that she couldn’t think.

“Kit, honey, the car is here.”

Her mother stood at the sidewalk next to her lease, the front doors open, awaiting them.

“I have to go.”

And she walked away.

****

On the way over to the restaurant with her mother, she tried to sort out the things Shane had just said. Her head spun.

Hop had wanted to take his own truck to the reception and had given Regina a smirky look before he left them on the sidewalk outside the chapel. “Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone.”

Mom’s response was a playful push to his chest. “You’re the only trouble I’m dealing with right now, you old coot.”

Mom adjusted herself on the faux-leather seat. “Why is your Shane driving by himself to the reception, honey?”

“Um…” She could tell her mother right now. They were all alone in the car, no one else to hear her awful truth. But if she told Mom now that Shane and she were never a couple in the first place, she’d have to face the aftermath during the entire reception. She was reminded of the words quoted in the reading at the chapel—how truth was the way, truly the only way. Yet it would be just as easy to say he was on call with the fire department, how handy. But that would be just one more blasted lie.

A new tack bought her time. “Mom, first you want to tell me what Hop’s doing here as your date?”

Her mother waved a dismissive hand. “I must have rocks in my head. That’s why.”

“I don’t understand. I thought you detested the man.”

“I probably still do. Who knows?” Mom laughed and touched a gentle hand to her hair. “But, boy, does that man make me laugh. And he just loves my new color, and I get a charge out of him calling me Red. To think a little, lost kitten turned us into friends, or what’s that they call it? Oh yes, frenemies.”

Kit stared through the windshield as she processed her mother’s newfound connection to Hop. It was a confession of sorts. Now it was her turn.

“So, Mom, there’s something I need to say.”

Her mother turned to her, her mouth set. “Is this about your grandmother’s wedding gown, Kitrina?”

“What?”

“Gram’s dress. I know you wanted it for your own wedding someday. But…”

“No, Mom. It’s not about the dress.”

“Are you sure? Because if it is, there’s something I’d like to tell you about that. The gown wasn’t Gram’s first wedding dress.”

She gripped the steering wheel. “Not her first dress. What are you talking about?”

Mom waved a hand. “It’s a big family secret because back in the day anything out of the so-called norm was taboo. It’s time somebody told the truth.”

Kit turned into the banquet hall’s lot and pulled up to the valet stand. An attendant helped her mother from the vehicle, and as Kit exited, she handed the car key to a driver. Her heart pounded. What was the truth her mother was about to reveal? Here she’d thought she was the only one with a secret today.

Inside the plush lobby she and her mom stepped over to the side while guests continued to arrive. A server came by with a tray of champagne flutes where whole strawberries bobbed in the fizzy liquid. She and her mom each reached for a glass at the same time.

When the server walked away, she turned to her mother. “Okay, you want to explain what you meant by what you just said, Mother?”

“Okay, but if you tell anybody about this, I’ll have to kill you, which would be such a shame because I’m so fond of you.”

She smiled. “Pinky swear.”

“Okay.” Her mother leaned in. “Do you remember when you told me that your cousin was going to wear your grandmother’s gown and you were feeling upset about it?”

“Yes.”

“Well, do you remember what I said to you then?”

Kit wracked her brain. She remembered the day. They had been at Aunt Dee Dee’s house for the family meet-and-greet. She and Mom had stolen away into the library down the hallway. It was when Mom told her she never thought she and Brian were good for each other. But what had she said about the dress?

Mom clucked her tongue. “I told you that it was just fabric sewn into a dress.”

She did remember that but had chalked it up to more of her mother attempting to keep the peace within the family.

“Okay, yes, I remember.”

“It wasn’t the dress that blessed my mother and father’s marriage. It was the two people that they were. Remember my saying that?”

“Yes, but what’s that got to do with that not being her first wedding gown?”

“My parents eloped when my mother was just eighteen.”

“What?”

“Lower your voice, would you? This is top secret.”

“Seriously? Top secret? That’s seems a bit dramatic.”

“Are you kidding?” Her mother put a hand to her chest. “To the rules of this family back in the forties, what my parents did was so unrefined they may as well have run down Main Street naked.”

Kit couldn’t help it. She laughed. “Does Aunt Dee Dee know?”

“Of course she knows, but no one else.”

“Mom, that’s crazy. They eloped. They didn’t kill someone.”

“Your grandmother’s family on my father’s side was a bunch of starched shirts, and I know I’ve been the same way in some respects. But the times they are a-changing.” Mom’s eyes warmed. “How silly now to think it was scandalous for a young girl to elope with a soldier. My father was getting shipped out to Okinawa, and they wanted to be married before he left, so they sneaked off to town hall. My grandparents forbade their daughter to marry in that manner, but my mother did it anyway.”

“Go, Gram.”

“Yes, I understand that now. Go, Gram. And ever since this whole thing with Brian and Co-Co, I fell into that hush-hush, shove-it-under-the-carpet nonsense. But hell, it’s a new day, and you’re the one who’s so much like my mother. Your cousin got the gown, but you’ve got the woman alive in your soul.”

She choked back a tear. “Mom, where’s this coming from?”

Mom lifted one coy shoulder. “I’m seeing things a bit differently these days, that’s all.”

“So Gram kept a lie going.”

“Gram didn’t tell her parents the truth until my father made it home safe and sound. They insisted she have a quote, unquote real wedding, a full-blown marriage in their church officiated by their longtime pastor, the whole shebang. I’d call it self-preservation rather than a lie.”

Kit swallowed hard. Oh, Gram. We had more in common than I knew.

Mom smiled as she winked. “So she got married her way first. That’s what counts.”

“Wow, Mom. That’s something.”

Her mother flashed a sly look, and a teasing light came into her eyes. “And I’m in possession of Gram’s dress from that visit to the justice of the peace.”

Suddenly she knew, and her heart did a whirl. “The pearly-pink dress with the rhinestone buckle.”

Mom nodded. “And no one’s getting their paws on that one but you, my love. That one’s for you.”

A tear tumbled down her cheek. “I’ll cherish it.”

“Now go find your man.”

“About that, Mom. I have a confession.”

“Okay.”

“He and I were never really a couple. He’s a friend of Hop’s, a new recruit to the fire department. He needed a room to rent temporarily, and I needed money because that old tree demolished my Honda. So Shane moved into my loft and paid me up front so I could lease a car.”

“But I don’t understand, honey. Why’d you tell everybody he was your beau?”

“It’s a long story, but Co-Co was in Rosie’s with Gram’s gown, Shane came in to discuss the idea of renting the loft, and Co-Co and Aunt Dee Dee assumed he was my new man. Overhearing the moving-in discussion, they thought we were moving in together.”

“And you let them believe it.”

“Because it was easier.”

Her mother nodded. “Self-preservation, my love.”

“Yes.”

“So when did things change then, honey? When did your heart get involved?”

“How’d you know?”

“A mother knows. You love each other.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Life is complicated.”

“I think it may be over, Mom. I thought he could still have feelings for his former girlfriend.”

“What makes you say so?”

“I saw them in an embrace. He swears it was just a goodbye, but I shut down on him and won’t let him explain. Mom, I can’t go through something like that again.”

“First off, give yourself a break. It’s like if you ever got caught in a house fire, you can’t help but think you smell smoke where there’s none. But you can’t let one man’s behavior scare you away from another. At least hear the boy out.”

Maybe. She looked around for him.

“Go find him, Kit, but first let’s toast.” Her mother lifted her glass, and so did Kit.

“To the one you can’t live without and doing it your own way.”

Kit sipped her champagne.

“Oh, look.” Mom smiled. “There’s Shane.”