“There is no other way out of misery, which you have created for yourself through blind acceptance without investigation. Suffering is a call for enquiry, all pain needs investigation. Don’t be too lazy to think.” ~ Nisargadatta
▪ Do you pour yourself a stiff drink or a glass of wine every night to unwind from a stressful day at work?
▪ Is your current marriage beginning to look a lot like your last?
▪ Do you find yourself stuck in the same rut over and over again?
▪ Does anger seem to flash up within you, seemingly on its own?
▪ Does “real” life seem to be passing you by?
▪ Are you numb from taking antidepressants?
▪ Do you seem to have “everything” yet feel an emptiness, and a nagging sense that something’s missing?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then this book is for you. Happiness is your birthright, and now is a good time to claim it.
If not now, when?
I have no ‘reason’ to be happy and yet I am — I am ‘unreasonably’ happy. Scarred from a childhood most would consider traumatic, most of my adult years were dedicated to self-loathing and self-destruction. The first three and a half years of my life I had been starved of the most basic needs: healthy food, clean drinking water, baths, medical checkups, safety and security. That I survived at all is remarkable. How I managed to create a (relatively) normal, (reasonably) well-adjusted, and happy life now is the subject of this book — for I had to discover how to be happy in order to overcome the chronic rage that characterized the first fifty years of my life. I developed the Choose Again Six-Step Process out of necessity, for my own healing and survival, and I have shared it with numerous grateful clients over the years. It is now yours to use if you choose to do so.
This book shows you how to use this transformational technique to attain inner joy and peace in your own life whatever your circumstances, by first identifying and then removing barriers to love, joy, and lasting peace — regardless of the stories, symptoms, and diagnoses that you now claim as your own.
By reading this book and applying the Choose Again Six-Step process, you can expect to:
• Embark on a journey of self-discovery
• Identify and release thought patterns that no longer serve you
• Banish shame & blame
• Relinquish the victim position once and for all
• Free yourself of your unconscious beliefs
• Nurture inner peace and serenity
• Enrich the quality of your life
• Transform your life for good
• Experience the freedom that comes from taking 100% ownership of your life
One of the foundational premises of this process is that “nothing outside of me can bring me anything I need, and nothing outside of me needs to change in order for me to be happy.” Once we realize this, we can get to work examining the barriers to this awareness — the barriers to love that we have created as self-defense. As a result of these barriers we may feel depressed and withdrawn, or we may be addicted to various chemical substances, or may be suffering from any of a number of maladies or conditions. The Choose Again Six-Step Process allows us to remove these barriers to love — barriers that we ourselves have constructed — and in so doing, find the deep inner peace, which every one of us, whether we realize it or not, are always seeking.
This method is highly effective in treating a whole roster of “problems” — including chronic anxiety, depression, addictions, and phobias. It works with the underlying causes rather than with the symptoms, which sets it apart from most other healing techniques, such as behavior modification. Building upon a foundation of Transpersonal Psychology, this healing modality is powerfully augmented by deep spiritual teachings from the major religions. Its principles also draw upon mystics such as Buddha, Lao Tzu, Rumi and Meister Eckhart, as well as current-day teachers: Ramana Maharshi, Poonja, Eckhart Tolle, Jerry Jampolsky, Nisargadatta and Marianne Williamson, to name just a few.
The essence of all of these teachings is based on the same foundational premise, which is: “I am the author of my experience, and everything in my life is for me, it has been chosen by me in order to bring healing.” That means that I always have to accept total ownership of my experience, because I have chosen it and all its conditions. In Buddhism, this foundational teaching is expressed differently, although the gist remains the same: “Your life is a dream and you are the author of the dream.” Once you accept the possibility that this statement just might be true, then the next step of that authorship is to choose to dream a different dream. You can always choose again.
Chapter One describes my journey from the jungles of Indonesia, where I spent my first three and a half years in Japanese concentration camps, to the jungle in Costa Rica where my healing center is located. I will show you how I constructed the self that I loathed, and how I was able to deconstruct it and in doing so rediscover happiness.
Chapters Two and Three answer the questions “Who do you think you are?” and “Who are you in Truth?” respectively. Chapter Four describes the Choose Again Six-Step Process in its entirety — a process that is applied to any upset, however small, to find out who it is you think you are and correct that mistaken idea by reaffirming the truth of your existence.
Chapters Five through Ten examine each of the six steps in greater detail, giving examples from clients and staff at the Choose Again retreat centers. Note that all the names have been changed to maintain anonymity.
Chapter Eleven describes some of the ripple effects of using the Six-Step Process in families and how powerful it can be when the whole family understands and encourages this way of thinking.
Chapter Twelve describes some of the ways that the Six-Step Process can be misunderstood or abused if care is not taken.
The Afterword details ways in which the Six-Step Process can be applied to a variety of situations to make the world a better place for everyone. There is a better way — a better way of thinking that leads to transformational healing. In the same way that it has already helped thousands of people to attain inner joy and peace in their lives, it is my deep conviction that the Choose Again Six-Step Process will help you as well.
“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it, blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. We alone are responsible for the gloominess of our lives. The world is grey because of our blandness. If life remains dreary and your surroundings unbearable, the verdict is in: you can’t stand yourself! Make the necessary adjustments.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke