When Love Finds You

Chapter Two

Eli stared at Catrina and tried to form the right words. His mouth filled with sand and his thoughts bumped around in his head like a man fumbling in a dark room without a lantern. He knew that she was far too pretty for the likes of him. Women like that didn’t fall for men like him. He had learned that the hard way. But he wasn’t sorry that he had taken her up on her offer to house the loom. No, sir, he was not sorry at all. He refused to be sorry.

Maybe, just maybe, she would let him be her friend. He would be willing to take that, such as it were. And, he had a distinct feeling that she would make a lovely friend. Eli watched Catrina as she led him and Gertrud to her grandparents’ house. Her expression remained so placid, so calm. And her hands danced like birds when she spoke. She moved with grace and control. Oh yes, she would make a wonderful friend.

Eli realized he liked something intangible about Catrina that went beyond her looks. That was the moment he knew that he had fallen too far to recover himself. Oh, sure, she was beautiful. But the world held plenty of beautiful women. Far more rare was a woman of grace and confidence. A woman with an air of mystery she wore like a shimmering cloak. Eli quickened his pace. Oh yes, he was hooked. And there was nothing he could do about it.

“We really can’t tarry,” Gertrud said as she followed Catrina on stout, sturdy legs. Gertrud’s small, compact figure looked out of place beside Catrina’s tall, willowy form. Eli’s sister carried an air of practical sensibility, while Catrina showed nothing of the sort.

“But you must stay for dinner,” Catrina said. “My grandparents would like to welcome you to New Canaan. We would like to welcome you to New Canaan.”

We! She said we! Eli felt his chest jump. He reminded himself that a pronoun did not necessarily carry a secret sign or promise. She was simply being friendly. And didn’t I just decide that I would settle for friendship? He frowned. That wasn’t really what he wanted. Not when the promise of the word we hung in the air.

“Thank you, but we really shouldn’t—” Gertrud began to say.

“Yes, of course!” Eli interrupted. “Thank you so very much for the invitation! We would absolutely love to stay! In fact, I was just thinking—” Eli stopped himself. His face turned undeniably red. He heard Gertrud’s familiar, frustrated sigh beside his ear. Eli cleared his throat. He forced his words out slowly and politely. “What I mean to say is, yes, thank you. Very kind of you to ask.” There, much better. Quite the gentleman, really. Eli rubbed the back of his neck. Oh, who am I kidding! It’s hopeless. Completely hopeless!

Catrina laughed, but the emotion behind it seemed pleased and amused, not irritated or embarrassed for him. “Well, it’s settled then. I’m glad you’re pleased.”

“Ja. I am.” Eli nodded enthusiastically before he remembered to rein himself in again.

“We must eat in haste, I fear,” Gertrud said. “Night will fall soon and we have a camp to make.”

“Yes, of course, dear. Quite right, dear.”

“I can help, you know,” Catrina said.

She wants to help!

“Thank you, but no.” Gertrud shook her head and continued to stride forcefully across the field. “Eli and I have made camp every night for weeks. It has been a long, arduous journey and I have learned my way around a campsite, I can tell you.”

Catrina lowered her head. “Yes, of course.”

Eli did not like the expression on her face. It looked remarkably close to rejection. But that was impossible. Women like Catrina Witmer didn’t know the first thing about rejection.

They passed through a sea of wildflowers and Eli watched the delicate blue petals tremble in the wind. The movement rippled the blooms in a wave that reminded Eli of the ocean that had carried him and Gertrud to the New World seven years earlier. That was before the Charming Nancy sailed and most of the other Amish immigrants began to pour into Pennsylvania. That was before . . . Eli cut off the thought. He didn’t want to think about what had happened before. This was a new chance, a new life. He smiled and bent to pluck a wildflower from the earth. The stem broke free with a satisfying snap. He studied the brilliant blue petals for a moment and then handed the flower to Catrina on a whim. “Same color as your eyes,” he said, and then looked away. He swallowed and tried to push the embarrassment down. What a foolish thing to say!

But Catrina’s face lit up as she took the flower from his hand. Her soft, delicate skin brushed his and he felt a happy jolt. She liked the flower. She liked that he had done something foolish. Eli grinned. But Gertrud’s expression stole the look from his face. He felt the victory seep out of him. Gertrud was not amused. Not at all.

“You said that you’re from Philadelphia?” Gertrud asked.

Eli thought that Catrina winced, just for an instant, before her expression smoothed. “Ja,” she said, then nodded toward a log cabin at the edge of the clearing. “Here we are.” A wall of pine trees rose behind the rough, wooden home. A trail of smoke rose from the stone chimney and whispered into the woods. Eli felt cozy and optimistic to see a safe, stout house in the shadow of that foreboding wilderness. “My grandparents will be so happy to meet you. We’ll have chicken for supper. You’ll like that, won’t you?”

Eli nodded. A hot chicken dinner sounded like heaven after weeks of salt pork and corn cakes fried over a campfire.

“Oh, and pie! I’ve just made a pie.”

Eli’s head shot up. “Did you say pie?”

Catrina smiled. “Rhubarb.”

Eli gave a happy sigh. “Gertrud, we came to the right place.”

“Mmmmm.” Gertrud did not return the smile. “And what did your father do in Philadelphia, dear?” She stared at Catrina and studied the young woman’s reaction. “Did he own a shop, perhaps?” Gertrud’s expression looked like she already knew the answer.

“Ja. A shop.” Catrina picked up her long skirts and quickened her pace. “I’ll just hurry along and let them know we have company.” And with that, she raced out of earshot. Eli watched Catrina race across the dirt yard and past a chicken coop. A haughty-looking rooster glared as she stepped around him. He flapped his wings and then settled back down to peck at the bare earth.

“She certainly is in a hurry to avoid that question,” Gertrud said in a low voice.

Eli patted her on the shoulder. “Now, Gertrud. Let’s enjoy a nice meal with a nice family. No need to look for trouble where there isn’t any.”

Gertrud frowned. “My dear brother, I never look for trouble where there isn’t any.”

“Ah.” Eli took off his hat and ran his fingers through his tangle of red hair. “Of course.”

“I just thank der Herr that you have someone sensible in your life to look out for you.”

Eli started to respond, but the cabin door swung open and an elderly couple stepped out to meet them with waves and smiles and a hearty round of well-wishing. Eli suddenly felt brighter, warmer. He believed that he could make a home here, among these people. He had finally found a place to start his life anew. He would worry about Gertrud’s comments later. There were no problems here as far as he was concerned. There couldn’t be! He would not allow it.

Catrina’s eyes sparkled as she introduced Georg and Frena Witmer. The couple looked comfortable amongst the austere farmyard. Eli sensed a determination in the elderly couple that he admired. They must be committed to a Plain lifestyle to have ventured to this isolated settlement at their age.

Eli noticed that Catrina’s eyes held a mischievous mirth as she looked at him. She was trying not to laugh. Now, why on earth . . . Eli looked down and realized that his hat was in his hands. Oh bother! He had succumbed to that nervous habit of his again. He had removed his hat, raked his fingers through his hair, and left each strand standing straight up into the air. I must look like that rooster in the yard with the red comb jiggling atop his head. Eli cleared his throat and smoothed his palm over his scalp in a quick, hectic gesture, then replaced his hat. “Um, lovely to meet you both. Wonderful good. Ja.”

Catrina giggled, but her expression remained kind. He didn’t think that she was making fun of him. No, her expression almost seemed . . . intrigued. But that was preposterous. Positively preposterous.

* * *

Dinner was better than Eli could have imagined. A fire crackled merrily and the warm, musky scent of wood smoke mingled with the rich smell of roast chicken and root vegetables. He shoveled bite after bite down his throat until Catrina laughed out loud. “Wherever will it all go, Eli?”

He grinned back, took another generous bite, and chewed enthusiastically. “I’m just getting started.”

“You must save room for dessert.”

“Catrina, there is always room for dessert. That is the first rule of life. There is always, always room for dessert.”

Catrina laughed. “But really, Eli, how ever do you have the room?”

Eli smiled and patted his lean, muscular stomach. “Gertrud has been warning me for years that it will all catch up with me one day. But until that day . . .” He leaned forward and took another helping of chicken. Steam curled up from the golden skin as he dropped the meat onto his wooden trencher.

“I’ve been warning him about more important things as well,” Gertrud said in a flat voice as she cut her eyes to Eli. He shrugged and pretended that her comment didn’t sound so uncharitable. He didn’t want to call her out in front of their new friends.

Georg frowned and Frena looked uncomfortable. Gertrud maintained her steady gaze, completely undeterred.

“You’ll never believe what Eli has brought,” Catrina said in a cheerful voice.

Eli smiled. She had saved him from an awkward moment.

“What?” Frena asked.

“A loom!” Catrina clasped her hands together. “A real, full-sized loom!”

“Has he really?” Frena looked surprised but pleased.

Eli nodded. His mouth was too full to answer.

“I’ve asked if we can keep it here. Can we, Grandfather? We can, can’t we? We must. We really must!”

Georg smiled indulgently. “Ja. If it makes you happy.” His eyes darted from one end of the cabin to the other. “It will be a tight fit, but, ja, we will manage.” He nodded at Catrina.

“It does make me happy! Eli has already promised I can use it as often as I please. He has to make a living, of course, but whenever he’s not here.”

“We won’t keep it here long,” Gertrud said.

Eli glanced up at his sister. “The cabin will take some time to build.”

“Even so. We won’t be a burden for long.”

“No burden at all,” Frena said. “The settlement has been in need of new cloth for some time. It is a blessing that you’ve come. We didn’t think anyone would make the trek with a loom this soon. The roads are—well, they aren’t roads at all. Just footpaths, really. I don’t know how you got it through.”

Eli grinned. “I don’t either. But here we are.”

“Ja.” Gertrud sighed. “Here we are.”

* * *

Catrina waited by the cabin door and listened to her heart skip against her chest. She told herself that her excitement was merely because of the loom. It would arrive at any moment. But as she smoothed her white prayer kappe and straightened her apron, Catrina knew there was another reason. That reason stood six foot three, flashed a warm, open smile, and gazed at her with attentive, sparkling eyes. She told herself that she was being ridiculous. After all, Eli Webber was not her type at all! She looked for strength and boldness. She wanted to be swept off her feet. She couldn’t possibly be interested in a stammering, bashful young man. And yet, here she was, peering across the clearing, waiting for that unpretentious, endearing smile of his to appear. She wondered if he would smile as soon as he saw her. Would his face light up as it had yesterday, when she invited him to dinner?

Catrina frowned and turned away from the doorway. She shouldn’t let herself get carried away. If Eli’s face lit up to see her, then it could only be for one reason—her looks. Men had always fought for her attention. And, somewhere along the way, she had realized that she was little more than a status symbol to them. Her face was a prize that men wanted to win. They wanted the world to see that they could have the most beautiful bride around. But Catrina refused to be seen as a prize. She’d had enough of that in Philadelphia. Here, in New Canaan, she wanted things to be different.

But Eli didn’t seem like other men. Maybe that was what had captivated her. Eli seemed so genuine, so sincere.... Catrina turned back to the doorway and grinned. There he was, struggling to push the handcart across the clearing. She laughed out loud when the cart hit a stone, jolted to a stop, and slapped into him. Eli tumbled backward, into the dirt, then jumped back up with remarkable enthusiasm. Mud coated his woolen hosen and breeches, but he just shrugged and went right back to pushing the cart. He isn’t the strongest or toughest man in these parts. But he’s the friendliest man I’ve ever met. And the sweetest. Catrina laughed again. That dear, ridiculous man. How will he ever get the mud out of those breeches!

“You certainly are staring at something. And I’m not sure that it is the loom.”

Catrina jumped and clapped her hand to her chest. “Grandmother! I didn’t know that you were there!”

Frena laughed. “No, I’m sure not.” The old woman’s gray eyes danced. Settling into the backcountry had not been easy, but the hard work had not stolen her spirit.

Catrina smiled and looked down. “Silly of me, isn’t it?” She felt her cheeks blush red.

“Silly?” Frena shook her head and stared at Catrina with a knowing expression. “I’ve only met him once, but I’d say he’s just right for you.”

Catrina glanced back through the open door. Eli continued to trudge across the clearing. He saw her and took one hand off the cart to wave. The cart slipped backward and he slapped his hand back down to catch it. He looked up at Catrina again, shook his head, and grinned. She grinned back. “Do you really think so?” Catrina asked her grandmother while keeping her eyes on Eli. “He’s so . . .”

“And unsure of himself?”

“Ja.” Catrina sighed. “As I said. How silly of me.”

Frena laughed. “I’ve not finished. He’s also thoughtful, and cheerful, and hardworking.”

“Ja,” Catrina said. “He seems to be all of those things.”

“He’s nothing like—” Frena caught herself and cleared her throat. “Well, he’s not like any of the suitors you had in Philadelphia.”

Catrina felt that familiar stab of shame and regret. “No,” she whispered. “Not at all.”

“I think that’s a good thing, Catrina. We came here for a new beginning. You don’t start new by repeating your past mistakes.”

Catrina dropped her gaze and studied her leather shoes. “No.” She didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to be reminded. Catrina closed the door. She had watched Eli long enough.

Frena pushed a strand of silver hair beneath her prayer kappe in a nervous gesture. “I’ve said more than I meant.” When Catrina looked up again, Frena had left her side. She had hurried across the room to begin some meaningless task to distract her from memories that were better left unremembered.

While Catrina waited for Eli to reach the cabin, she swept the earthen floor with a broom made of twigs tied together with twine. Soon, the hard-packed dirt looked smooth and clean—or clean for dirt, anyway. How I miss hardwood floors and throw rugs! But those were luxuries for the city, not for far-flung settlements at the very edge of the colonies.

Catrina heard a knock on the door. Her head shot up. Sunlight poured through the cracks in the hand-hewn door and lit the dust motes that her broom had thrown into the air.

Frena gave a knowing smile and stirred the fire in the hearth. “I will let you answer that.”

Catrina tossed the broom aside, dusted her hands against her crisp, white apron, and bounded for the door. She skidded to a stop just before she ran into the rough, wooden slats, and pulled the door open. Catrina’s grin dropped into a look of surprise.

Gertrud stood at the threshold with a pinched expression. They stared at each other for a long, strained moment. “Expecting my brother, were you?” Gertrud said at last. Catrina could hear her grandmother bustling about the hearth. An iron cauldron banged against stone. Gertrud waited for an answer.

“What? Oh. No. Well, yes. He’s bringing the loom. So I suppose you could say that I was expecting him.”

“Hmmm.” Gertrud’s gaze did not soften. Catrina felt as if the woman could peel away the present and see into her past.

“It’s the loom, don’t you see. I am so looking forward to weaving again. It’s all so very exciting.”

“Ah. Of course. The loom. I am sure that explains the entirety of your excitement.”

Catrina swallowed and stared. She wasn’t quite sure what to say. There was something about Gertrud’s no-nonsense demeanor that tied Catrina’s tongue.

“Are you planning to invite me in?” Gertrud asked in a flat tone.

“Ja. Ja, of course.” Catrina pulled the door open so fast that it bumped against her shoe. She frowned and forced herself to slow her movements, to regain her signature calm. What was it about Gertrud that left her so flustered? It’s because she knows. . . . Catrina forced away the thought. No! She doesn’t! She can’t! I did not escape to the ends of the earth for nothing.

“I think that we can assemble it there,” Gertrud said as she swept past Catrina. “We’ll have to push the table aside.” Gertrud looked prim and proper in her white prayer kappe, fitted gray bodice, and long gray skirts. The stiff fabric swirled about her ankles as she surveyed the one-room cabin. Catrina’s modest outfit looked similar, but on Gertrud the Plain attire had a dreary, severe effect. Catrina, on the other hand, looked as fresh and bright as a winter field covered in new snow.

“Hello, there!”

Catrina heard Eli’s friendly shout and spun around. She tried to transform her big smile into something soft and sweet. She failed. But Eli returned her enthusiastic grin and she wasn’t sorry. Instead, she felt positively eager. Until she remembered that Gertrud stood behind her, watching. She glanced back and saw the crossed arms and serious expression as Gertrud stared at Eli. Eli’s grin fell away and he cleared his throat, then gave a more distant nod. “Well, then. I suppose we best get to work.”

“Ja. Of course.” Catrina felt an odd sense of embarrassment, as if she had done something wrong. There’s nothing wrong with smiling. Catrina looked away. Except when there is. How foolish of me to be so obvious. How embarrassing and downright forward. I must regain my dignity. I will not be seen as forward. Anything but that. The familiar, icy grip clamped around her chest. Her throat burned. I must remember myself. I must remember how quickly everything can fall apart.

Catrina raised her chin a fraction and smoothed the expression on her face. “I believe that Gertrud has chosen a place for the loom.”

“Wonderful good.” Eli looked at Catrina and she could feel the warmth of his gaze fill her. “You’ll help me? I could use another expert.”

Gertrud sighed and headed outside, to the handcart. Catrina felt her mouth twitch. She could feel Gertrud’s disapproval. Catrina wanted to smile. Oh, how she wanted to smile. “That would be fine,” she said in a distant tone, without smiling. She knew it was the right attitude to take. But, how wrong it felt.