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IT TOOK HALF AN HOUR for the cops to show up. I heard the sirens screaming and the boop boop bullhorn as they approached the security gate.
That’s the first time I really got scared. I was sitting there holding a stranger’s gun, with no idea what was going on. In a panic, I grabbed a tube sock from the top of the dirty pile and pulled it over the gun like I was stuffing a Christmas stocking. Then I jammed it underneath the pile and slipped over to the bathroom door.
She’d been in there a while. I could still hear the shower going full blast and what sounded like splashing in the sink, too. I didn’t want her to suspect I was trying to take advantage, but I was sure she would want to know the cops were here.
I knocked lightly. No answer. I knocked harder. I called quietly, “Hey! Lady? The cops are here.” Still no answer.
I did hear the cops pounding on my neighbor’s door. I heard some patient explaining and probing questions. I couldn’t hear anything they said, but cop voice is pretty distinctive.
I started getting nervous. I banged on the door, but still no answer. I tried the knob and it was locked. On the other side, there were screaming pipes and splashing water, but no answer from the pretty girl.
I thought about all the blood on her left arm. Had it been hers? If she’d ruptured an artery, she could be bleeding out. She might need help. I tried to force the doorknob, hoping the cheap hardware would yield, but all I did was hurt my hand.
I leaned close to the door and said, “I’m worried about you! I’m coming in!” Then I took a step back so I could break down the door.
I didn’t know how to break down a door. I’d seen it on TV, but I didn’t have a lot of confidence it would work in real life. And if I damaged the door, I definitely wouldn’t be getting back my hundred-dollar deposit.
But she might be dying! I had to try. I took a deep breath, steeling myself.
Then the cop banged on my door. Pow pow pow pow. Insistent. Impatient. Rude. And then the cop voice. “Open up! It’s the police.”
I’ve already told you I’m a polite Midwestern boy. I’m not a lawbreaker. And I was a little worried that if I busted in on her, she’d be naked and outraged. So, mostly out of cowardice, I did the right thing and opened my door to the police.
First words out of his mouth, before I could even feign ignorance, were, “You alone here?” He barked it, clipped and demanding an answer.
“Uhh....” was the answer he got.
He didn’t like it. He barked a little frown at me, then his gaze darted around the inside of my apartment. When it came back to me, he did the frown again.
“You alone here, kid? Or is there someone else in... uh...” He’d seen the tiny box I lived in. There weren’t many places to hide.
Thinking frantically, I asked, “Is this about the Pandemic? I didn’t think we had a strict quarantine—”
“It’s not,” he said, and now he stopped scanning and looked at me. Hard. “I’m not asking again, kid. Are you alone here?”’
“Yeah,” I said, nodding. I tried to look pathetic. “I’m always alone. What’s going on?”
“Disturbance,” he said, “I’m going to need you to step aside.”
“Why?”
“Because your nosy neighbor said she saw a stripper enter this apartment thirty-seven minutes ago, and not come out.”
“She’s crazy—” I tried, but he kept right on talking.
“And you keep saying you’re alone here, but I can hear a shower running.” He glanced down and back up, a flick of the eyes, and then nodded. “Plus, you’re standing in a pool of fresh blood. That’s my probable cause. Now step aside.”
He didn’t really wait for me, just leaned his shoulder against the door and shoved me back with it, then crossed my living room in three steps and raised his flashlight to bang on the bathroom door.
“Hey!” I shouted as loud as I could, in case she could hear me. “You can’t come in here without a warrant!”
He didn’t answer. He knocked hard enough to dent the cheap wood, announced himself loudly, then busted the doorknob out of the door with the butt of his flashlight. It was real macho.
He kicked the door open with one toe and threw a peek inside. Then he leaned in to get a better look, but it was a room nine feet square. He saw everything.
Then he came back out and fixed me with a severe look. “Kid, you’re not getting that security deposit back.”
That caught me off-guard. “What?”
He reached up and spoke into his walkie-talkie. “She’s gone,” he said. “And she left a hell of a mess.”