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BY SUPPERTIME, WE HAD “The Girl with the Gun” fully playable, and already kind of fun. You could explore the apartment complex, the nearby neighborhood, and a couple little shops in the same parking lot.
The corner gas station had a quest-giver, a shop-keeper, and a random encounter where you sometimes had to fight off armed robbers. The nearby bank had security guards who would react if you had a weapon equipped or tried to enter the vault. The grocery store was just a big empty rectangle, but Ben had some big plans for it.
Unfortunately, he had dinner plans with his parents and work in the morning. I sent him on his way (only a little late), then fell back down on my bed. Alone again.
In the sudden quiet, my fear came pouring back. I didn’t have any idea how to talk about it with Ben, but it was always there, waiting.
What was I going to do?
I had no job. I had no insurance. I had no plan for the future. I barely had a home.
My parents would help me. Probably. I’d have to explain it to my dad, though. I’d have to explain why I had no job. Why I couldn’t get one. “There’s a Pandemic” wouldn’t mean much to him. “There’s no good work available” would mean even less. He’d worked a factory line night shift and holidays in retail to put food on our table. He’d sold the only stock he ever owned to pay for my first semester at college. He was...awesome. He was a really good dad.
I wasn’t that kind of man. I wanted more, maybe. Or I was just soft. But whenever I thought about giving up and taking some grueling job just to pay the bills, my stomach started hurting.
It wouldn’t even work. Minimum wage wouldn’t even pay my student loans. And minimum wage jobs weren’t growing on trees at the moment. I’d have to spend days chasing, grinding away at the job hunt, only to face humiliating rejection after rejection.
Panic built up behind my collarbone like a dam, and it felt like there’d be nothing left of me if it broke. I grabbed my phone, but it didn’t have any answers. I ran both hands through my hair, feeling frantic, then grabbed my laptop.
It was still on the Arcade. I was staring at the big empty grocery store. I took a slow breath, then bent over the keyboard and started adding Ben’s NPCs. Roaming stockers, cashiers, floor managers. All it took to add one was a name, but then there were hundreds of customizations to make.
I lost myself in the process.
Sometime around 3 a.m. my phone rang—an actual call—and even though it was on silent mode, the sudden buzz almost made me jump out of my skin. It was an unknown number, so I sent it to voicemail and forgot about it.
My flow was broken, though. Now the late hour hit me full-force, and I knew it was time for a break.
I typed out a quick email to Ben about everything I’d done, then closed my laptop and fell asleep a few seconds later.
That was the first weekend. Everything slowed down after that.
For a while.