April 7, 2012
Chad
Iraq
Hell, this night is eerily quiet. I look over at Reno who's crouched down beside me in the sand, and he just shakes his head, his eyes peering through the night vision binoculars.
"Fuck Chief," he whispers, shifting around on his stomach, "I got a bad feelin' ‘bout somethin'."
"Me too," I nod, looking through the scope on my gun to the building we are watching. Our other teammates are spread around, surrounding the same building and I laugh as Timmons' voice comes over our mic system, complaining about the bugs. In the desert at night the bugs are pretty bad, here more than at base, because there is standing water in barrels and buckets, spread out all over the place.
It is only about one in the morning and we are waiting for word from command to move in on the building to execute a rescue mission. Intelligence says that a captured CIA operative is being held and interrogated within the building in my sight and we are the ones tasked with bringing him home. Home. That would be a nice place to be right about now.
"Move in," the clear orders come through, and we are all automatically switched into combat mode.
Reno and I flip down our night vision goggles and get on our feet, still crouching down behind a broken down car. Our M-4s in hand, we move in unison to the next cover spot, meeting up with Black and French. Like a four person snake, we move through the night, pressing our backs up against a brick wall as French orders Timmons to take out a guard from his position on a rooftop nearby.
Executing the kill, Timmons clears the path for us as we near the building. Reno takes out a small explosive and tags it to the door.
"All clear," he issues, making sure we are all backed away before he detonates the small charge. All of us flick on the lights mounted to our guns as we rush in. The smoke from the blast lingers and yells fill the small one room bunker as French and Black take out the four guards before I can even get a shot off.
Benson and Talbot join us as more gun shots ring out in the night air. Timmons comes over the radio, saying he took out the last guards that were visible.
"Keep your eyes open, Kid," I say, kneeling in front of the strung up CIA operative. He is suspended from the ceiling, his hands bound with chains above his head, his feet weighed down with a cinder block attached with another chain around his ankles. His face is swollen and all different unnatural colors, and my flashlight only makes him look worse.
"Agent Howard?” I ask as Reno un-wraps the chain from his arms, lowering him to the dirt floor as I work on his ankles. The man mumbles a 'yes', and I'm glad he's responsive. "I have to ask you some questions before we get you outta here." He mumbles another yes, and I continue. "What was your high school mascot?"
The government wants to make sure they rescue the right people, so when we get to them we have to ask questions to which only the real person would know the answers. "Cardinals," he gurgles, and I see one of his teeth come out as he coughs up some blood.
Reno and I look at each other for a moment, and then nod, his answer being the right one for both of us. I yell for Talbot to come pick him up. We form a diamond around Talbot and the operative, and I tell Timmons we are coming out.
"All clear, Chief," he replies, and we get to moving, our guns at the ready. We have no problem getting up to the rendezvous point as the sound of helicopter blades drums through the darkness all around us, and Timmons and Uclid appear.
Talbot, with the operative, Uclid, Benson, and Timmons climb into the first chopper as it touches down almost silently; kicking up dust into the hot air. French, Black, Reno, and I jump into the other; all silent as it lifts us up and off into the night. The red light in the cab casts an eerie glow, and I snap off my helmet, setting it in my lap while gazing at that old Polaroid of Randy, Rhea, and I.
"De-briefing at 0300," French issues and we all reply a 'yes Sir', his commanding voice bringing out the robotic nature in us.
Ambulances are waiting as we reach the training base in less than thirty minutes, rushing the CIA agent off even before we are all out of the choppers. If a civilian were here, they would probably be very offset at the silence that surrounds us as we enter our barracks, tossing off our gear and heading for the showers like minions. It is just us, this is how we manage. This is how we deal with the weight of the things we see and do.
No one speaks a word until after we have all been de-briefed and we are back in the barracks, sprawled out on our bunks. "I don't know ‘bout you guys," Timmons says, and I can see him roll over onto his stomach a couple bunks down, "but I'm hungry as hell."
Leave it to him to be thinking of food while the rest of us are thinking of loved ones and how fucked up the world is right now. Well, at least that is what I am thinking about; I can't totally speak for everyone else.
"Well it's only four-thirty," Reno says as I see him hop down from the bunk above me, "so back home it's about seven p.m. yesterday." I nod as he sits on my bunk, leaning against the end railing. "I say we use Skype, and then grill something up for breakfast."
This gets everyone's attention as they all grunt and shout in agreement, hopping from their bunks. Stretching out, I slap Reno on the back, the sound echoing through the space around us.
I get out, "Good idea, Man," before Reno pushes me with both hands on my chest, making me go over backward, landing to the floor on my ass. Everyone bursts out laughing, including me, as I stand and fake limp around to the couch, flopping dramatically down as everyone throws pillows at me.
This is us; a group of manly SEALs, joking around and throwing pillows at each other. This is another part of how we deal with the things we do. The other part? Well, that other part will come when I shove in front of Timmons to use the Skype before him to see my Rhea's face. Her face, her voice—hell, just the sight of her—is my healing. Especially now, since she's carrying my child.
My child. It's still crazy when I think about it. As I hear the guys start to argue over who's going first, I drift off into a day dream; holding Rhea in my arms as we watch the baby sleep soundly in its crib.
I can't wait to be home. I can't wait to be back with Rhea.
I can't wait to meet my child.
~~~~~~~~
Rhea
The bar is packed and buzzing as Kendall, Brad, and I run around like chickens with our heads cut off, serving drinks and food. It's only a little after seven and Brad has already had to kick out a handful of people for trying to fight or for just being too rowdy. Harlan and Garth are on their usual stools at the very end of the bar, talking animatedly with some guys from high school, when I see Duke motion to me from across the room in his normal booth.
Stopping behind Kendall as she mixes two house specials, 'Wakefield Wow-zas', I say right into her ear so she can hear me, "Going to check on Duke's table." She nods, not breaking her conversation with Ms. Perry, the local female bar fly, and I round the corner, feeling Harlan's eyes on me.
I am about ten weeks along and I have a little pooch going on. My jeans are a little tight, and Kendall says that if you look really hard when I turn to the side, you can see a little bump. I feel fat nonetheless as I weave from table to table, making sure everyone's doing okay and taking a couple shouts for popcorn and beer. I finally come to the edge of Duke's booth with a tray full of empty bottles and mugs balanced on my hip.
"What can I get ya?” I ask loudly, leaning in real close over the middle of the table as Duke, Jesse, and Jarrod lean in toward me so that we can all hear each other. I hold back an eye roll as I see Jesse roam his eyes over my chest and backside. Keep dreamin', bro, I think.
"We need another round," Jarrod slurs only inches from my ear, spraying a little spit on my cheek that I quickly wipe away with a disgusted look plastered on my face. He waves his empty mug at me and I snatch it from his hand, putting it, and the other two, with the pile of others already on my tray.
"Anything else?" I look between Duke and Jesse, Duke's blue-green eyes scanning over me as I rest my gaze upon him. His Mossy Oak cap is resting on the bench seat next to him making it so that his perfect blonde hair is on display, and I can tell he's been running his fingers through it, pushing it back and off of his forehead. It is longer than I ever remember. My hand is resting on the edge of their table, and I'm shocked back from my little observational daydream when I feel his fingers brush mine.
"You wanna dance, Ray?” he asks, leaning closer as I slowly lean back away from him, straightening my stance. What the hell is this? And why did I feel so conflicted right now? My lips are slightly parted, ready to give him a soft answer, saying that I’ll try but I’m not promising anything because we are so busy, and I feel a hand on my hip. I turn to see Harlan looming behind me.
"I saw that, Duke," he almost yells out over the music, and I see more than a few heads turn our way; Jarrod and Jesse both tense in their seats. Harlan's finger loops into the side pocket of my apron and I can feel him gently tug me to move to his side; the mugs and bottles chattering on my tray.
"Ya keep your hands to yourself," Harlan says down to the grinning Duke, his dimples on full display, and I know it's just making Harlan even angrier.
"I wasn't doing anythin'. I just simply asked her to dance." Duke looks up at Harlan while reaching into his front pocket and pulling out his Copenhagen can, pinching some of the chew between his index finger and thumb and nestling it down between his bottom lip and jaw.
I put my hand on Harlan's elbow, looking up in his dark blue eyes. I nod, letting him know it’s okay to let it be. He starts to turn, but swings back, almost slamming his hands down on the booth table, his face only inches from Duke's. "Don't you dare put your filthy hands on her again." His lips curl up in an almost evil grin, and Harlan slaps his palms once more on the tabletop, scaring me enough to swing around and weave through the bar as I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket.
Setting the tray down, I pull my cell from my pocket and my heart races when I see the Skype logo displayed on the screen, notifying me that Chad is trying to reach me. Kendall comes up to me, opening her mouth to say something, but I speak first.
"Chad's calling. I'm gonna be in the office." I swipe the screen in a downward motion, hitting the Skype shortcut as I practically run through the kitchen and into Brad's office. I bump my butt into the door to shut it most of the way to drown out the rattles of the bar as Chad's face pops up on my phone.
His brown hair is longer, wet-looking, and his beard is thicker, with more grey being prominent in the front; but God damn he is hot and my heart flutters at the sight of him. I let out a long, loud sigh, and I see a wide smile cross his face.
"Hi, Baby," he says, and his voice echoes through my soul, bringing warmth to my skin and making my pulse race. Ugh, if only I could feel his warm breath on my cheek as he says that close to my face; being snuggled behind me. My skin tingles at the thought and I can’t stop a hot rush of desire that runs through me, causing goose-bumps to rise on my skin.
"Hi, Babe," I almost whisper, a blush running up my neck and filling my face, the heat spreading out over my arms. Even now, after being in love with this man for twenty years, he still makes me nervous. I miss him so much, and seeing his face makes it hurt a little more.
"I miss you, Chad," I say and I can’t stop the tears from coming now even if I had a freight train full of cement, so I let them fall. They run down my cheek faster than I can swipe them away with a tissue, ripped from a box on Brad's desk.
"Don't cry, Rhea," he says, leaning to the camera on his end and bringing his face closer on the screen, and I wish that I could reach through it and grab him, pulling him to me for a long kiss. Lord, I need one. "Tell me about what's been goin' on, Baby,” he says in a sweet voice, and I can't help but laugh a little, wiping my hand across my cheeks to get rid of the last tears.
"Doc says I'm looking good; I saw her last week." I can see a sly grin break out across his face, and it makes me smile with a blush. "Don't look at me like that, Chad," I scold him, holding my finger up to the screen as if he is standing before me and I am going to poke him in the chest.
His laugh makes me shiver as it echoes through the little speakers on my cell. Leaning back from the camera, he crosses his massive arms over his chest and I can just see the muscles bulging out from underneath the navy blue material. It makes my mouth water. Damn these hormones!
"I can't help it, Rhea," he laughs, "I like imagining you getting bigger; filling out with my baby." His grin makes those damn dimples appear, and I can feel my legs get weak. It is a good thing I am sitting down.
"I wish I was there," he says quietly and a somber look comes over his handsome, bearded face. All I can do is nod my head in agreement, because if I try to reply to him with words, I will start sobbing like I had when I was with Rosa last weekend. "Reno and I are trying our hardest to be sent home before the babies come. Reno would have to be there in late August, I believe he said."
"Yeah Rosa is due September twentieth." I have the date circled on the calendar, along with her doctor appointments and breathing classes she has already scheduled. To say she is nervous is an understatement. Although, as every week passes I feel as if I am becoming more and more like her, feeling anxious and nervous. The other day I had to occupy myself with something, so I washed every single article of clothing in the entire house, including clothes that I had stored in totes in the basement. At times I feel like I've gone insane.
"Mine is the 25th of October, but I think it'll probably be on Halloween," I add, not really looking at him as a wave of uncertainty runs through me. I’m not sure if I can do this.
Chad laughs. "Why do you think that?" His hand scratches through his beard and then rakes through his hair, and I can’t help but want to do it myself; to feel his hair between my fingers. He is some sort of drug that I love to overdose on and I feel as if I'll never get enough of him.
I shrug. "I don't know, I just have a feeling," and I do. I can't explain it. When the doctor had told me that based on my last period they judged my due date for the 25th, in my head I immediately thought, "Nope, it'll be Halloween." Weird, I know, but just call it a 'mother's intuition' for now.
"Alright I'll take your word for it, but I'm still trying to get them to sign the retirement papers for September." That makes my heart go crazy. Please, please, please let them okay the papers for September, I silently pray.
"I spoke with Rosa for a minute with Reno earlier; she's really happy you’re there for her." I lean back in Brad's office chair, relaxing my back against the leather and hold the phone above me as I stretch my legs out under the desk.
"Don't do that, Baby," Chad says with a wide grin again on his lips, and I give him a questioning look. "I can see down your shirt." My face turns red and I sit up. "I don't wanna have to walk outta here with a hard on; they already make jokes about me enough."
I had heard them ripping on him at the cabin that one weekend, and hey, they weren't lies. Chad is a well-endowed man, and I love it. It is only a bonus to this wholly perfect man, a very nice bonus, but one all the same. I can't help but giggle and he laughs along with me.
"How is everything else goin’?" he inquires, adjusting the camera on his end so that I can see him a little better.
"Well, Harlan and Kendall are gonna help me pick out paint and such for the small bedroom upstairs. Your mom has already bought a crib and basinet." I roll my eyes, and he laughs again, knowing his mother is overjoyed at the idea of finally having a grandchild. "You should really tell her to let me buy some of the big items," I try and scold him.
"My momma is her own woman, like you, and she'll do any damn thing she pleases." His half a smile practically reaches up to his ears as he pushes a loose lock of his hair behind it. "Let her buy you what she offers to buy you. It makes her happy." I let out a strangled sounding sigh, and he laughs again, shaking his head. "What else is new?" he changes the subject.
"Duke is being weird, but Harlan and Garth have that under control; they watch me like hawks." That isn’t a lie, because they seem to be everywhere I am. If it isn’t one of them it is Kendall. "He's being.....nice." Chad lets out a strange noise and I see him shake his head and lean back in his chair again.
"Yeah, nice." I can tell it bothers him as he scratches more vigorously at his chin. He goes to say something, but I speak first.
"Don't worry," I say, resting my chin in my palm with my elbow on the metal top of the desk, "I don't trust Duke as far as I can throw him." That isn't saying I'm going to be mean to him unless he provokes me, but I'm not going to go out of my way to hang out with him or anything. He sighs and rubs his hands over his face, and it hurts to know he's worried. "Chad, please don't worry. I've got lots of good people here who will help me if needed, you know that."
"I know, Baby, I just hate not being there to look after you myself." He leans back toward the computer and his features look strained and stressed, and it pulls at my heart strings. "I love my job. I love these guys. But, I love you more and I want to be there, not here." I nod again in agreement as a small tear slips down my cheek. A little buzzing sound goes off behind Chad and I know our time is close to being up. "Two minutes, Baby," he whispers.
"I love you," I say with a desperation that hurts my chest. "I love you with all my heart."
Actually, I love him with every cell of my existence, but that isn’t as romantic. "I have a doctor’s appointment next week, Thursday. Kendall and Rosa are going with me, and then Rosa is gonna stay at our house."
"Our house," he whispers to himself with a smile, and I can't help but mirror it. "I like it when you say that, and I love you too, with all my heart and soul." The buzzer goes off again and tears rim my lashes. It’s coming to an end all too soon. "I'll be seeing you, my lover." His blue eyes lock onto mine through the miles, as tears stream down to hit my hand resting on the desk.
"I'll be seeing you, Baby." I try to smile as the words choke out, but it’s hard. He smiles wide one last time before the screen blanks out and I'm left alone in Brad's office. My chest tightens as I try and take calming breaths, wiping at the moisture on my face with a shaky hand.
Kendall's voice rings out through the kitchen, yelling out orders, and I can tell she's stressed, so sucking up my pity party; I straighten my apron and stand, shoving my phone back in my back pocket.
"Please, Please, PLEASE," I pray silently, my eyes closed as I reach for the door handle, "let them approve their papers for September." Not only for me, but for Rosa as well.