December 24, 2012
Rhea
"Happy birthday, momma," I hear whispered over my shoulder and glance over, seeing Garth enter the dim kitchen. I make a humming ‘mm-hmm’ reply in my throat, not pausing the rocking motion of the glider I'm sitting in. It is only seven in the morning, but I've been up for the last forty-five minutes, holding and finally nursing Charlie. I can't help but giggle at Garth as he yawns and scratches through his scruffy beard and mussed hair, a smirk on his face when he turns toward me with his back against the counter.
"Feelin' okay this mornin'?” he asks, taking a long sip of his steaming coffee, and I nod, adjusting my sling laden arm to try and be more comfortable. I've been out of the hospital for about three and a half weeks, and Garth has pretty much moved in with us. He has been helping me around the house since he was laid off from his construction job for the winter. Chad had to report to his new job the day after I was released from Southampton Memorial, and his mother works during the day, so Garth helps with Charlie and basic things like showering, dressing, and cooking.
When it's not Garth, it's Kendall, but all of my friends have been more than helpful. Harlan has driven me to physical therapy more than a handful of times when Garth or Chad were busy. Rosa and Reno have been up every weekend, and they are even looking into buying a house down the street that recently went up for sale. It'll be great if they move here. Even my cousin Ellie has been here to visit, staying all day and most of the night just helping me and fawning over Charlie. She looks great and we talk almost every day, so I'm hoping we can build a relationship. It'll be nice to have some of my family around for a change.
Charlie squirms in my arms, bringing me from my day dreaming and I adjust him, wiping his mouth and pulling my nightgown shut. Having the use of only my left arm, I lay Charlie out on my legs before throwing the burp rag over my shoulder and hauling him up to rock him while tapping on his back. After the first couple of nights, all of this became routine and I'm pretty sure that I can do it in my sleep.
"You wanna start breakfast?” I say to Garth as Charlie burps away on my shoulder. "Brad and the others should be here soon. I'm gonna go wake Chad up in a minute." Garth nods and starts taking the things out of the fridge that I had specified were for this morning, but stops and whirls around when Charlie lets out the loudest, nastiest burp I've heard him issue yet. It sort of shocks both of us, and we just stare at each other across the room before bursting out in laughter.
Still giggling, I ease myself out of the glider slowly, favoring my still sore and weak right leg. I have a nasty scar high on my thigh from the damage Duke's bullet did. It's still bright pink and ragged looking, but the doctor says it will heal nicely, so I'm crossing my fingers it won't look too bad. They say that the bullet tore through the muscles and the way they had to repair them was to stretch the non-mangled muscle, attach it to the torn ones, and hopefully mend the whole picture. The physical therapy is tough, painful and time consuming, but I do feel stronger already. I won't be running any marathons anytime soon, but who says I want to?
Laying Charlie down on a blanket, tucked into a formed pillow so he doesn't roll around, I shuffle toward the stairs, gripping the banister tight as I slowly ascend. It's a lot easier going down with Charlie, I can tuck him into my sling and lean into the railing, but going up, well I haven't mastered that yet.
I'm out of breath by the time I get to the top and shuffle into our bedroom, my smile reaching my eyes when I see Chad: my fiancé. He is sprawled out on the bed, the sheets half off and half tangled between his legs, his feet sticking out and a pillow half covers his face. His new schedule has been taking a toll on him; between his new job with NCIS and little Charlie, and I think he’s sexy as hell right now. Snuggling down beside him on my stomach, I squeal when his arms wrap around me, rolling me on top of him.
"Mornin'," he says, his voice edged in a scratch from sleep. The smile that creeps onto his face makes my heart race and I can't help but run my fingers through his shortened beard and hair, pulling his lips to mine for a long kiss. "Mmm," he mumbles, hugging me to him, as always being careful of my right shoulder, "happy birthday, Baby."
"Thank you," I say, resting my head on his chest as he scoots me down beside him. I relax in the warmth of his skin on mine and I love the feel of his fingers running through my very short hair. They had shaved it all off to relieve the pressure on my brain, leaving me with a pink scar behind each of my ears and no hair. It's grown pretty well, turning into a thick layer of what is a little longer than peach fuzz, covering the scars at least. I wear hats or scarves tied over it when we go out because I can't help but be self-conscious.
"Garth is down there startin' breakfast. Everyone should be here in a little while so we can spend the day decorating and get to the six o'clock service after dinner." I can feel Chad nod his head while still running his fingers over my hair.
"Pastor Williams is gonna be happy to see you." He chuckles. "My momma has been talkin' non-stop ‘bout how he's been askin' ‘bout you and Charlie." We both laugh, because we know that Dana probably isn't exaggerating about the Pastor.
"Yeah, Garth told me the Pastor says he's been prayin' for Duke's immortal soul. That he hopes Duke gets the help he needs and finds the Lord." His arm tenses around me and looking up; I can see that his jaw is tight. He doesn't like to mention Duke, but ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.
What happened had happened, and there is no going back. Duke has been sitting in the county jail since the day it happened and his charges stand at two counts of attempted murder, two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, and six counts of assault on an officer, because he had fought back against the Sheriffs and the Troopers. I don't like to bring him up any more than Chad likes to talk about him, but I am going to have to testify at his trial scheduled to start in January, so I'm going to have to get used to it.
"He's lucky French and the boys kept me in check that day at the hospital," he almost growls out, sitting up while still holding me, pulling my head into his lap. "I would have killed him. I'd still kill him; if not for hurting you, but for the things he said that day, and the way it's affected you." He runs his fingers over my short hair with a sad smile on his face and I close my eyes, gripping his bent elbow, holding his hand to my face.
A tear slips down my cheek as I think of what Chad has told me that Duke had said when they were arguing at the hospital that day. "I was aiming for your son! I was aiming for him!" It disgusts me how much hate Duke spewed only hours after telling me that he would raise the baby as his own if I were to give him the chance to be with me. How could someone who had acted so nice, done so many nice things, hate someone so much that they'll kill an innocent child to get their revenge? I just don't even want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't fallen back that afternoon or if Duke's aim had been a little better.
I've been having nightmares almost every night about the shooting. Not just about when it happened, but what life would be like without Charlie. Most of them include me waking up in the hospital alone or coming home to an empty house, with an empty nursery. The worst ones deal with no Charlie and then no Chad, as he walks out in full camo, leaving me in a dark place where I feel as if no one can find me.
I always wake up crying, cradled in Chad's arms as he tells me that it's okay and having to get up to check on Charlie. My baby boy is always sound asleep, being the great baby he is, and only waking on his feeding schedule. Most nights I stand there, beside his crib, just watching him breathe. I'm amazed at how much love can spring from such a little person.
Wrapping my left arm around Chad's back as he leans down to me, I let a few more tears roll down. "Baby, don't cry anymore," he whispers, pressing his lips to my cheek, catching the tears before they roll down to my chin. "We're all okay and I'm not goin' anywhere that's for damn sure," he jokes and I giggle through the last tears, kissing him until we are both out of breath.
He lies down beside me on the bed, moving his lips from mine to my neck, grazing my chin with his teeth making me shudder. This man can take me from normal, functioning woman to trembling pool of lust driven slut in negative point two seconds, and I can’t help but moan into his lips; running my hand over his stubble filled cheek. His hand runs down my chest, not missing the opportunity to squeeze my already swollen again breasts, and over my stomach; hovering between my thighs as the material of my night gown slips down to my hips and I bend my knees.
“That’s my girl,” he seems to growl into my lips as his fingers trace ever so lightly over the insides of my thighs. I can’t help but shake when they run over my scar and he whispers his apology, but I just smile and take his lips with more gusto as the fresh wave of desire rolls over me. The familiar tingle between my legs is a throbbing jack hammer by the time he touches me, and I try to hold in my pleasure, but it comes out as a squeak against his lips as his thumb runs over my clit, making my legs shake.
Everything is still sore and we’ve only fooled around a little since I came home from the hospital, but I want Chad. My body is trembling with need of him, so when his fingers only circle around my entrance I whimper, shifting my hips, and silently telling him I want more.
“Are you sure, Baby Girl? I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispers as he kisses my neck, his thumb rubbing into my clit again and making me gasp for breath. All I can do is nod, because if I try to talk, it’s only going to be a moan and my nose brushes his as he brings his face to mine. His blue eyes are hooded and I can see the desire, the want, plain as day as the hard-on he has that’s bumping my leg.
I feel the evidence of my readiness and want of him drip down my skin as I shift over onto my left side, keeping my lips locked with his over my shoulder as he shoves his pajama pants down. His hand is still teasing me as his cock springs free, making me jump in anticipation as it brushes my core and Chad smiles into my lips. His fingers slip in slowly, and I’m not going to lie, it hurts, and my eyes squeeze shut as I try and hold in a wince.
“Nope,” he says, removing his fingers and I snap my eyes open, looking at him. My body is still shaking, wanting my man. “It hurts doesn’t it?” he asks, his brow furrowing as his eyes run over my face.
“Yes,” I don’t lie and he shakes his head, moving to slide out from behind me, but I grab his hand, trapping it to my hip. “Please, Love?” I beg. I’m not too good for begging. I can tell he’s going to protest, but I stop him just as his lips part to speak. Those damn, sexy as hell lips. “I need you to make love to me,” I whisper, tugging his hand to my stomach to try and pull him closer.
“Baby…girl,” he kind of sighs, kissing my temple as his hand runs down between my legs; just one swipe of his fingers over my clit causing me to shiver and arch back into him, on the edge of my climax already. I’m pretty sure my breathing stops when his teeth graze along my neck and I feel him nestle into my backside, his warmth and scent washing over me. “You tell me to stop if it’s too much,” he sort of growls in my ear as I reach around behind me and grasp his shaft, almost gasping at how hard he is.
Then the head of his shaft is right at my entrance, and I know this is going to be uncomfortable, but I try to show him that I’m okay with my hand on his hip as he kisses my neck. He pushes ever so slowly into me, and I feel like all my nerves are on fire; my breath catching in my throat as my fingers dig into his hip. Chad groans slightly into my ear as he pushes in further, his lips pulling my earlobe into his mouth as his tongue flicks it, taking my attention from the slight hurt.
His arm slides under my head, pulling my face up and he coaxes me to turn my head with kisses on my cheek. His lips tease mine slightly as he seats himself all the way inside of me, just holding me there as he kisses me; his tongue tracing my lips and I’m about to come undone. I moan into his mouth as his tongue swirls around mind and I grind my ass into his hips, moving him within me as he stays still.
His movements are slow and passionate as he kisses me, his hips rocking slightly as he slides out and in again and I sink into his chest, lost in all of the sensations. Before I know it, I’m gasping for breath as my climax roars through me, shaking my arms and legs and making me bite Chad’s lip. My body feels lighter and I’m tingling as aftershocks run through me. Chad pulls his face from mine and I see him run his tongue over his bottom lip.
“Damn, Baby Girl.” He smiles, rocking his hips into me again and groaning as he holds me tight to him, thrusting just a little bit harder. I grab his face, with my palms on his stubble filled cheeks, and pull his lips to mine; kissing him roughly. His arm covers me, being careful of my shoulder, and I ride through another wave of pleasure of my own as I feel him pulse within me. He kisses my lips, then my cheek, then my hair as he just holds my hips to his, keeping us connected as our breathing starts to slow.
“You’re okay?” he questions, kissing me again and I smile into his lips. I just nod, not taking my lips from his and he chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest as he holds me close. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispers, his eyes seeming to turn a shade darker as they roam over me, and then look beyond me as he kisses my forehead.
“I couldn’t live without you,” I tell him, and he snorts. I smack him in the chest, then snuggle my face into his neck. “I really couldn’t. But everything is goin’ to be okay.”
“Yeah, it is,” he sighs. “Now, let’s get up. Everyone is prolly waitin’ for us.” He smacks my butt lightly as pulls away and I miss his touch immediately. I grab his face when I sit up and kiss him again, resigning to get dressed as I hear pots and pans banging together downstairs.
It makes me feel like a child to have to have someone help me get dressed, but with Chad, it just gives us extra time to fool around some more. As he helps me tug on my heavy socks, we both hear the doorbell ring and happy voices travel up to us from the stairs.
"Guess we'll have to continue this second round later, sexy." He winks, kissing me until I'm dizzy as he helps me to my feet. He's helping me adjust my sling as footsteps creep up toward us.
"Hey," Dana says, poking her face around the door and smiling. As she comes around the door, I see she has her favorite little guy in her arms and he has a drool filled smile plastered on his chubby little face, breaking my heart in a good way. "This little guy wanted to see what was takin' his mommy and daddy so long." She laughs, throwing her arm around me and kissing my cheek. "Happy birthday, Hon. I said a prayer for your momma this mornin'," she says with a sorrow filled smile.
"I did, too," I say as she kisses Chad on the cheek. It's been a year since I found my mother dead on the living room floor of our double wide, but it still feels like yesterday. Even with everything that has happened since then, the pain and loneliness that is left from her death still lingers.
How would she feel about what has happened in my life since that day? Would she be happy for me? I know she would be. She'd be as happy as Dana is, and I can't help but wonder that if she was still alive, would Charlie's little smile bring her out of the funk that had hung over her since my brother's death? I can only hope it would have.
"She'd be so proud of you, Honey," Dana smiles, kissing my forehead as I give Charlie little kisses on his soft, perfect skin, letting his little fingers grip around my ring finger. The four of us just stand in a mild, relaxed silence; Chad's arm around my back as his fingers massage into my side.
"Let's get downstairs; I'm starvin'," he says, taking Charlie from his mother with a wide smile, holding him above his head and looking up at him. "Right little guy? Say ‘we're starvin'’!" He swings Charlie down, kissing him before winking and leading the way out of the room with me shaking my head at his back.
Dana lets me lean on her as we make our way down into the living room. We’re greeted by smiling faces and cheery hellos from my closest friends. They are all gathered around in the kitchen, helping Garth with the food. Kissing the cook on the cheek, I'm surprised when Kendall wraps her arms around my shoulders, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, holding a card in her hand.
"Happy birthday, Ray," she almost sings, joined in by pretty much everyone in the room with a rousing rendition from Garth, getting him a swat on the butt from Brad that makes everyone laugh. Taking the card from her, I turn to face the room, seeing Harlan holding a gift bag near him, on the table.
"I told you not to get me anythin'," I scold, swatting her with the envelope before I slide my fingers under the flap to open it. My friends have already done too much for me over the last handful of months, so they didn't need to waste their money on birthday gifts for me. They all just mumble their objections as I take the card out. It is a cute little country stream scene on the outside, with a few people strolling over a bridge. The words scrolled on the inside make me tear up as I read them.
"No matter how small you may think today is,
never forget, it's this day that brought you
to us, from the Lord and especially to me, my best friend!
Happy Birthday- From all of Us"
As I wipe the few tears away and Kendall wraps her arm around me, I take note that all of them had signed the card. Issuing my thanks to the entire room, I see Harlan hold the bag up and dangle it with a smirk on his face.
"Come on," he says, getting all the guys to join in with his rousing, "you know you wanna open it, momma." He smiles as I limp my way over to him, sliding down into the glider rocker as he places the bag in my lap.
"Now Ray," Rosa speaks up, jostling both Marisol and Charlie on her lap, "we bought those in hopes that you and Chad will hurry up and get married, so you can wear them." She winks at me, and I immediately think I'm going to pull lingerie out of this bag on my lap, but peeking around the tissue paper, I spot a shoe box, easing my nerves of embarrassment. Pulling the box out, I open it to reveal a beautiful pair of cowboy boots. They are dark navy blue, with white and red roses embroidered down the sides. Chad comes over to kneel beside me and I hand one to him.
"Wow," I say, attempting to pull the left one on, accepting some help from Reno. "Wow," I say again, standing in it. "These are great guys," I say, looking around the room seeing all of their smiling faces. "You all picked these out?"
"Actually," Kendall laughs, spinning around on one of the stools to face me, "Garth picked them out, and Harlan's momma did the roses." I can feel my jaw go slack as Garth turns around from the stove, taking a theatrical bow and winking at me.
"Wow," I whisper, sitting and having Chad help me pull the one off my foot and place them back in the box. "Harlan, tell your momma thank you," I say, smiling as I take the box and set it in the empty stool next to Kendall at the island. Limping up behind Garth as he flips the last couple pancakes on the griddle, I wrap my arm around him, splaying my hand out over his defined chest, feeling him relax back into me.
"Thank you, Garth," I whisper, kissing his rough cheek and giggling at the look he gives me. It is one full of fake desire before he whips around, taking me in a overdramatic, Rhett and Scarlett, embrace; slobbering all over my face as everyone laughs. Even Chad joins in with the laughter as he comes up to rescue me.
"Okay, Man, okay." he chuckles, taking me from Garth before I laugh myself to death. "Don't make me kick your ass," he says in a mockingly tough tone, puffing out his chest as Garth does the same and they pretend to square off, ending in another round of laughs filling the room.
Wiping my hand across my face, I giggle to Brad. "I sure as hell hope he doesn't really kiss like that." Garth tries to pull Brad in, his tongue on full display, but Brad pushes him away.
"Ehh, he uses his tongue for other things I'm fond of," Brad says and everyone pauses, looking around, before we all burst out in laughter. Garth turns red and I pinch him on the butt as I’m taking the pitcher of OJ to the table.
We all settle down into breakfast, laughing and joking about everything as everyone fills their bellies. Afterward, we all bundle up and head out in a three car caravan to the local tree lot to pick a Christmas tree. Almost an hour of hemming and hawing later, Chad and all of the guys agree on an almost seven foot tall blue spruce, loading it in the back of the Silverado along with another smaller tree for his mom and almost ten fresh wreaths.
After almost thirty minutes of arguing, swearing and knocking things over, the men have the tree in its stand. It is situated by the living room window and the boxes of decorations are set out on the floor and the guys leave us to go hang out in the garage. I am tired as all hell from walking around at the tree lot, so sitting here on the couch holding Charlie, I don't want to get up, but I know that I should.
Hauling myself to my feet, I lay Charlie down next to a sleeping Marisol, and stretch my arm up above my head, not liking the soreness that is setting into my right one. Adjusting my arm slightly, I jump when a hand lands on my back.
"Sorry, Ray, thought you heard me," Rosa says with an apologetic look and a cup of steaming coffee in her hands, holding it out to me. "Thought you might need this, and Dana is asking where your ladder is? We're gonna need it." She laughs, looking over her shoulder at the gigantic tree. Why we had to get such a large one, I’ll never understand, but it does look good.
"It's out in the garage." I smile, taking a sip of the hot coffee before setting it on the side table. "I'll go get one of the men to bring it in." She nods as I try to hold my limp in, heading for the mud room. "Put their asses to work," I joke, and hear her laugh as I shut the door behind me.
Standing there, amongst jackets and old, dirty shoes, I have a mini panic attack. I haven't set foot in the garage since the day Duke shot me. Bracing myself with my hand on the wall, I take deep breaths, trying to ebb the gripping sensation around my chest. It's okay, I tell myself, it's okay. There is no one out there who is going to hurt you. I am okay, I am healing. Charlie is okay. Chad is okay.
"Yeah, we're all okay," I whisper to myself with a smile, standing up straight and turning the handle on the outside door, swinging it open to step out onto the small stairs in the garage.
The radio is blaring, pumping out the local rock station, and I can see open beer cans sitting on the work bench and five sets of legs hanging out from underneath my brother's old Chevy pickup. Limping down the steps, I finally give in that I'll have to take some pain pills as I shuffle across the concrete; keeping my eyes on the sets of feet. They are arguing about something and the radio will still overpower my voice, so I do what anyone else would do. I kick the closest foot to me.
Garth's legs jump from the concrete and I hear something hard hit metal, I’m guessing it’s his forehead. Then he shoves himself out from under the truck, his back flat as he lies on the wheeled creeper, his eyes glaring at me.
"What the hell, momma?”" he yells over the music as the others slide out. He jumps up, rubbing his forehead and jogging over to shut the radio off, making my ears ring in the new silence.
"Aww, did I make you hit your head?” I say to him in a mocking baby voice, giving him a big grin while batting my eyelashes. Garth and I have developed a great friendship, especially since he's been living with us. The guys are all laughing and Chad stands, wiping his hands on a rag and then throwing it in Garth's face. Turning to look at him, I almost melt at the smile on his handsome face. God, can that man make me weak.
"What do ya need, Baby?" his deep voice seems to flow around me as he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me into him so that the smell of WD-40 and oil waft up to me. "Besides a spanking," he whispers, nipping at my ear and then kissing my cheek.
"A ladder," I can't help but breathe out, full of desire, then I rein it in when I hear Chad chuckle, knowing that he has gotten to me. Pushing my hand against his chest, I look up into his blue eyes, seeing the smirk on his lips. "I need a damn ladder for that damn tree you picked out." I punch him in the shoulder, turning on my heel and limping back toward the door.
"You’re limpin' pretty bad there, Ray," I hear Brad comment, but I don't turn around. I just wave over my shoulder as I hop the stairs. "You better believe I'm lookin' at that leg when we're done here," he yells as I shut the door.
"Yeah, yeah," I mumble, slipping back into the house to be bombarded by Christmas music and the smell of my cinnamon candles. "Kendall, can you get me my pain meds?” I say as I get into the living room and throw myself down into my other glider rocker. She nods, disappearing and reappearing within seconds with my pill bottle; handing me two pills and my coffee, then returning to help Rosa untangle some lights.
I sink into the glider further, smiling at my friends as they try to untwist the atrocity that is my Christmas decorations. I shift a little, adjusting my sling and fixing my shirt, pulling it up over my swollen breasts.
"Your boobs are popping out there, Ray." Kendall laughs as I look up at her. She has lights wrapped around her legs and arms, making her look like a human tree as Rosa works on finding the right end.
"Yeah, I know," I smirk at her, standing to grab my breast pump from the kitchen. "I'll have to dump all of this because of the pain meds," I say, checking on Charlie and Marisol, both sleeping soundly, before I plop down on the couch, pulling open my shirt. "Y'all don't mind if I do this?” I ask, hooking the suction up and glancing at them, seeing them both shake their heads.
"Please, girl," Rosa smiles, silently celebrating her find of the plug for the lights before shoving it in the socket and bringing color to the room, "I whip mine out anywhere, anytime. I figure if anyone has a problem with it, they'll leave. My baby's gotta eat, and if I don't have a bottle handy, well, she's gettin' the tit." Kendall and I laugh as Rosa shakes her chest, doing a little dance as she wraps the lights around the tree.
We all joke and laugh, Rosa and Kendall filling the tree with colored lights, while I put my breasts away just seconds before the guys come through the mud room doors. Rosa hands Chad the star and Reno holds the ladder for him as he climbs up, turning and smiling at me.
"This is our first Christmas tree," he says as I move to stand beside the ladder in front of the magnificent sight, accepting an ornament from Rosa so I can hang it.
"Our first of many." I grin up at him, loving the feel of his hand as he brushes it along my cheek, winking at me before setting the star on top. He hops down and tangles me in his arms, claiming my mouth for what seems like forever. I revel in the feel, wrapping my fingers into his short hair as his grips at my hip.
Releasing each other, we both laugh when we see that our guests have left us, their voices coming from the kitchen. Joining them, I get to work helping Kendall and Dana as they put the chickens in the oven for dinner. It feels good to be surrounded by people I love on my birthday, filling my home with their laughter and jokes.
Bobby Timmons and Austin French join us right before dinner is done, settling right into conversation as if they have been here all day. My cousin Ellie calls and says that she is going to meet us for church, that she is at a co-workers house and that she'll come back after the service for popcorn and a movie with us, which makes me happy. I know she needs me as much as I need her right now. We've been missing that family feeling.
Everyone powers through the roasted chickens, potatoes and other sides, all dressing warmly for our visit to church. Dana and Timmons are in the back seat of our truck, on opposite sides of Charlie's car seat, as we pull into the church parking lot and I spot Ellie's junky old Chevy Berretta.
She's standing behind it, and waves at me with a smile as her hair blows around her face. She has dark brown, almost black, hair like my father passed on to me and she keeps it in a short angled bob, framing her blueish-green eyes and porcelain-like face perfectly. She is my height and build, being about five foot three and thin but curvy, and she is all bundled up in a cute red and white plaid jacket, complete with a red beret type knit hat covering her ears.
"Who is that?” Timmons almost whistles out, and over my shoulder I can see him practically sitting in Dana's lap, looking out her window in Ellie's direction.
"Back off Bobby," I turn and scold him with my finger in his face. "She's my cousin, and she's going through a nasty divorce right now, so stay away." He puts his hands up defensively, shooting me a short look before gazing back at Ellie's approaching figure.
After greeting her warmly, getting a nice hug in return, I introduce her to every one as we make our way into the packed church. I purposely sit Ellie next to Dana at the end of a pew when I see Timmons trying to make his way over to her, and I smile when I see his defeated look as he sits next to French.
"You shouldn't be so hard on Bobby," Chad whispers in my ear as he settles next to me with Charlie in his lap. "He's a good guy."
"I know he is," I smile, taking our son from him and kissing Charlie’s chubby little cheek as he squeals. "Ellie is just...not ready for that yet." He gives me that 'yeah right' look, raising his eyebrow at me. "You weren't there that day Chad. The things she told me that her ex has done, they're scary. She's too fragile for anything right now." He nods his head, kissing my temple as he snakes his arm around the back of my shoulders.
My cousin had married her ex right out of high school, feeling as if he was her ticket out of the small town in West Virginia where she had grown up after her mom had left Wakefield with her and her brother. He had become a cop and the abuse started not long after her mom died from cancer. She is running from him, moving from place to place until the divorce is finalized. Hopefully it will be over soon so she can focus on being happy, instead of living in fear.
The service is beautiful, full of songs and prayers and a short rendition of the night Jesus was born, acted out by some of the local children. The boy playing Joseph dropped the plastic baby Jesus, making Mary yell at him and all of us laugh, but other than that it is cute. We are in one of the back pews so when the Pastor walks by, opening the doors to thank everyone for coming, we are some of the first ones out the door.
After accepting a million praises from Pastor Williams, we all gather behind Ellie's car, talking and laughing about the service. I can see Bobby trying to talk Ellie up, but she is being her shy self and looking at her boots most of the time.
"Rhea," the weak little voice comes from behind me, and I turn to see Holly Unger standing with Duke's mom, both of their faces streaked with tears. Her bleach blonde hair is under a grey knit cap and Duke's mom, Brenda, grips Holly's hand tight, not meeting my gaze. "Rhea, we just wanna say how sorry we are for what happened."
"I am too," I say, still scrutinizing the women before me as I hand Charlie off to Chad.
"I wanna apologize for being so stupid before," Holly says, wiping at her face with a gloved hand. "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness for being so nasty to you, but.... I loved him." She almost whispers, and I take a step closer to her, reaching my hand out and touching her shoulder lightly. I can see the hurt in her eyes, lined with disgust over what she had done and I feel sorry for her.
"I know you did, Holly." I smile lightly at her. How many times over the last year had I told Duke just to stop bothering me and be with Holly? She smiles back, and I'm shocked when she pulls me in for a hug, but I hug my arm around her back nonetheless. "And I forgive you, Holly. You did nothing wrong. Please don't blame yourself for anything," I say, and she sobs quietly into my shoulder.
Brenda Orr steps up as Holly releases me and her tears almost break my heart. I can't imagine how she feels. I don't even want to think about what I would be going through if Charlie ever does anything like Duke had. I would feel like an utter failure as a mother that's for sure, and I place my hand on her arm, patting it slightly.
"I'm so sorry, Rhea," she cries, accepting a hug from Holly as she gazes at me.
"It's not your fault, Brenda," I say as Dana steps up to my side, rubbing Brenda's back. She tries to smile at me but I know no matter what I say, it won't make her feel any better. Holly and Brenda both nod in my direction, before looking around at my friends and nodding at them as well. Dana gives Brenda a quick hug before they walk away, leaving us in a shocked silence.
"Well, that was unexpected," I say to Chad as I turn into his arms, loving the warmth in which his embrace surrounds me.
He mumbles a response, and then tells everyone to meet back at our house for a movie and snacks before we hop back in the truck. Us girls are disappointed when we get back to the house and the guys all decide they want to watch an action film instead of the Christmas flick we had picked out earlier, so after changing into my PJ pants and saying goodnight to Dana, we ‘females’, as Garth jokingly insulted us with as we complain, settle into the kitchen, hovering over mugs of coffee and plates of snacks.
Kendall and Rosa sort of grill Ellie on her life, teasing her about how Timmons keeps staring at her, and she just nervously laughs it off. I sense something with her over Bobby, by the way she kept sneaking looks at him, but I’ll leave it alone for now.
"Nah, I'm not looking for anything right now," she laughs, giving me a 'help me' look over her coffee as she sips it. "I wanna get through the divorce and find a stable place to live before I get into a relationship with anyone."
"Yeah, so back off guys," I say, pointing my finger at my two friends as I rock in my glider, enjoying my cup of half coffee, half hot chocolate. "Besides, Ellie doesn't want your leftovers, Kendall," I joke and both Rosa and Ellie almost choke on the cookies they had just bitten into.
"Oh ha-ha." Kendall gives me the finger and turns to the still mildly choking Ellie. "Really, it was only a fling. A weekend thing, ya know?" She asks and Ellie nods, giving me a look that could kill an elephant. She isn’t enjoying the direction of Kendall's conversation. "But trust me," Kendall says, leaning in close to my cousin’s ear, "he's worth it."
Ellie breaks out in laughter, getting all of us to join her and Chad's head pokes around the wall from the living room, his eyebrows raised in appraisal. He looks around at all of us as we giggle uncontrollably.
"Go away," I tell him, shooing him away with a wave of my hand as he gives me a pout, "girl talk." At that, he disappears in the blink of an eye and we all laugh again.
I'm happy at how my story is unfolding. I have my family, which is growing with the relationship with my cousin Ellie blooms. I have my friends, who make me laugh and fill my house with happiness at every chance they get.
I'm a lucky woman. And I don't plan on giving any of it, or any of them, up, ever.