Celine sat down on her bed and unsheathed the No-Name sword so that she could study the names on it. It didn’t take long to find her parents’ names. She did not long for them since she could not remember them. Would she have liked them? They couldn’t have been kind and loving, could they? They had probably been as bloodthirsty as the rest of the Fata. She shuddered to think of the woman she would have become had they raised her. She might have been cold, instead of compassionate, selfish, instead of selfless. She certainly wouldn’t have been an empath. Growing up among the Fata would also have made her less naive and trusting.
Celine sheathed the sword and put it under her pillow. She shouldn’t think about parents because then her thoughts drifted to Rudolf and Marcia, to whom she longed to return.
The tammer sat on her windowsill, and the messenger did not have a letter with him. This made her angry, so she rushed out of her room toward Dagan’s. Without knocking, she flung open his door so that it banged against the wall. Dagan was tying his shoe and looked up when she barged in. He didn’t appear alarmed, despite her outburst and unusual behavior.
“Good morning,” he said lightly.
“Have you been stealing my letters?”
“What letters?” Dagan’s face went dreadfully pale.
“The letters Caynin sent to me.” His silence was all the answer she needed. “How dare you? You had no right to take them!”
He sniffed the air, which made her wonder if he could smell Caynin’s scent on her. She hoped he could and that it sickened him.
“I did it to keep you focused. You had to close the portal, and you didn’t need distractions,” he said.
“If you wanted me to close the portal so desperately, you would never have put the protective ward on me,” she argued.
“That was to protect you,” he said as he approached. “The protective ward barely faded, and then there was already an assassin in your room.”
She was too angry to think straight. She hated that humans were so much more emotional than Fata. She hated that she was shaking and that Dagan observed her so calmly.
“There are more important things to do than protect me,” she snarled. “Like killing the Prenumbras.”
“I plan to travel to Moon World, where I can convince the elves to make more swords that can kill the Prenumbras,” he told her.
If he wanted to travel to another world, he would need her to open a portal. Was that why he was so desperate to keep her here? He wanted to use her to gain more power.
If she could open a portal to the Moon World, which she was not sure she could, and they got more Elven swords, it would make killing the Prenumbras easier. It also meant she had taken the No-Name sword for no good reason and had left the Everwhite Kingdom defenseless.
“So why have we not gone there yet?”
“You have to master your magic first before you can attempt to open such a portal. I also wanted you to live here for a while, and I was hoping to earn your trust in these past few months,” he confessed.
“I trust you less than ever,” she spat.
Hurt and disappointment flashed across his face then disappeared as quickly. “You can’t stop the Prenumbras alone. You need an ally, and you need someone to teach you to control your magic.”
She didn’t want Dagan to be her ally. She couldn’t trust him to watch her back, and she couldn’t trust him to place the well-being of others above his greed for power.
Celine wanted nothing more than to get out of there. The room felt too small, and the walls seemed to be closing in on her. She wanted to breathe fresh air.
“Celine, you’re trembling,” Dagan said.
Celine took a step backward and put her hands in her hair. She was hot and sweat dripped from her forehead. She wanted to get away.
“Celine, stop!” Dagan said, quickly stepping toward her.
But there was nothing he could do to stop her from opening a portal. She hadn’t intended to do it – it just happened. It opened in front of her, and when she tried to close it, it morphed into a different world.
“Celine, you have to find control,” Dagan said.
But she could not. Her magic seemed to have a will of its own. The portal closed and then another opened – under her feet. She fell through, and Dagan managed to jump after her just before it closed.
She had opened a portal deep in the ocean, far from the surface! The water surrounded them, filling their nostrils. Celine thought she would drown and let out a desperate scream. Bubbles escaped her mouth and floated to the surface – which was far, far away.
Then she felt Dagan’s hand on her. Her magic twisted, and a new portal opened. They swam toward it as quickly as they could. This time, it took them into the sky. They were free falling, and the earth was rushing closer and closer. They would plunge to their deaths. It felt as if they had jumped out of a plane and had forgotten their parachutes. Celine couldn’t think clearly. Adrenalin consumed her, and she wanted to scream, but no sound came out.
Dagan hadn’t let go of her hand once, and he squeezed it. She looked toward him. He sped toward the earth as if he was the most beautiful angel falling from grace.
“Celine, if you don’t control your magic, it will control you.”
That was exactly what was happening. Her magic was in control. Her magic was calling the shots. She had lost control of her emotions, and that made her magic go wild.
“You have to take back control,” Dagan told her.
She was light-headed and terrified. The ground was coming closer. “I can’t!”
“You can,” he pressed. “You’ve opened portals before. You can do it again.”
She tried her best to focus and clear her mind. She pictured the beach where Dagan trained her, the calm waves and the warm sand, the palm trees, and the summer breeze playing with their branches.
A portal yawned below them, and they fell through, into the ocean. The fall did not hurt, as the portal had opened just above the water. Celine swam to the surface, but Dagan beat her to it. The moment she saw the Evergreen Castle, she almost cried out with relief. No more portals opened because she was in control and exhausted.
They swam toward the beach where Dagan pulled her out of the ocean. Her arms and legs were heavy as she collapsed onto the sand, trembling all over, and she tried not to cry.
“What happened?” she asked Dagan.
He sat down next to her. “It’s not a big deal. It’s normal to lose control of your magic when you are just learning how to use it.”
“Not a big deal? I could have killed us!”
“It’s because you didn’t learn to control your magic as a child. You didn’t even know you had it,” Dagan said gently. He wasn’t angry with her, and that seemed to make everything worse. She felt as if she deserved his anger, not his understanding. He should be yelling at her for screwing up so badly and placing their lives in danger.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she seemed to be so good at it. Yes, Dagan angered her, but she didn’t want him dead.
“Don’t be sorry.” His touch on her arm was comforting.
“Why did you step into the portal?” she asked. The wise, strategic, and rational thing for Dagan to do would have been to leave her. Yet, he had placed his life in danger so that he could help her save herself. “You could have stayed behind.”
“I didn’t want you to be alone,” he said.
She couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“It’s scary – not knowing how to control something. Mastering magic is not an easy task, but I believed you could do it – and you did.”
His words made her feel somewhat better. He believed in her more than she believed in herself. Maybe Dagan was not the worst Fata to have around.
“We should go back,” she said.
“There is no rush,” Dagan said, although he got up.
He extended his hand, and Celine took it, allowing him to pull her to her feet. Her legs wobbled; her magic had drained all her energy. She began walking but stumbled.
Dagan was clearly not tired but acted in a way that showed he understood that opening the portals had cost her much. He scooped her into his arms, and she wanted to object but could not get the words out. He carried her back to the castle and put her down by the dinner table.
“I want to go to my room,” she grumbled.
“You have to eat something first,” Dagan said.
She wanted to argue but was too tired. Dagan went to the kitchen and returned with fruit salad, cold meat, cheese, and bread. She took a bite of the fruit salad, only because she had to. It tasted amazing. Dagan went to the kitchen for his own food before returning. They ate together without speaking, and once they finished, Celine felt better. She hated that Dagan was mostly right.
She headed to her room, and Dagan accompanied her to ensure that she did not fall. She dropped onto her bed, and Dagan closed the curtains.
She yawned. “Don’t go,” she said as Dagan made for the door.
She didn’t have to ask him twice. He climbed into the bed and lay next to her, their bodies were inches apart, but he made no indication that he was going to touch her. There was nothing sexual or romantic about lying next to Dagan. They did not cuddle or stare into each other’s eyes, and her heart was not beating frantically.
Celine fell asleep next to him, and for the first time in months, she did not feel so alone.