FRIDAY

→  23 DAYS to go. Sob!

I woke up this morning determined to continue with the sad act, so I could manipulate my naïve parents a little more. (Don't judge me, you'd do the same.)

I was sick and tired of the kids at school treating me like some sort of freak, so I tried to persuade my parents to let me stay at home.

Unfortunately, my parents weren't having any of it.

I think it would take a NUCLEAR BOMB before I'd be allowed to miss a day of school.

Having used up all my "sad" credit, I had no choice but to get dressed and head for school.

It was weird walking around that place and realising that I was not going to be there for too much longer.

Then, a fabulous brain wave hit me!

In just three weeks and two days, I will literally be out of everybody's reach, which will make it impossible for me to receive any sort of long-term punishment.

So, I can probably get away with just about anything!

M  W  A  H  A  H  A   (evil laugh).

My first plan was to get revenge on Loyiso "The Jerk" Bayi. (His middle name explains everything.)

Loyiso and I have a lot of BAD BLOOD between us.

In Grade 3, he completely humiliated me by announcing to everyone that I walked like a girl. That was absolutely ridiculous, of course, because girls and guys walk the same. Don't they?

For almost two weeks, girls giggled when I walked past.

Things got even worse when I tried to strut.

Thankfully, James Johnson picked his nose in class and ate it! Eeuww! This took the pressure off my so-called "girlie walk".

My plan was to "accidently" trip Loyiso during Phys. Ed and ensure that he sprained his ankle. The limp from his injury would cause him to walk like a girl.

It would be some payback that he definitely deserved.

Coach Ace announced we were playing soccer in Phys. Ed. WHAT LUCK!

I tried my best to get Loyiso. I ran around the field sticking my leg out every time he ran past. But, he'd either jump over my leg or dodge it completely.

Coach Ace called me aside and asked if I understood how to play soccer.

I had to tell him a little white lie. (You'd do the same.) I certainly wasn't going to enlighten him about my intention to trip Loyiso.

By the second half, I was starting to get desperate. That jerk just wouldn't go down.

Then, the moment presented itself.

Loyiso walked backwards in preparation for a free kick, so I ran behind him and stuck out my foot.

S U C C E S S !

Well, success for one brief moment.

Unfortunately, he landed on top of me, squashing me flat.

This was certainly not how I had hoped my revenge would pan out.

I'm the one who hobbled around the rest of the day in agony. It's so unfair!

Plus, Loyiso once again pointed out that I still hadn't outgrown my girlie walk.

Totally EMBARRASSING!

Maybe Mars isn't such

a bad idea after all.