SATURDAY

→  22 DAYS before blast-off.

I decided there were a few things I needed to experience before leaving Planet Earth.

Kissing Mbali is at the top of the list, of course.

Secondly, I needed to drink at least six double-thick chocolate milkshakes. Apparently, the only thing to drink on Mars is water from an underground glacier or something.

So, I figured that if I'm only going to be drinking water for the rest of my life, I was going to get some serious milkshake drinking done here on Planet Earth.

Kurt and Zen were completely on board with both of my plans.

We decided that the milkshake-drinking plan would probably be easier to achieve than my goal to kiss Mbali, so we set to work.

Here's how the story went:

First, we gathered all the cash we could find.

We searched our parents' cars for loose coins; we broke open Kurt's piggy bank; and we snuck 100 bucks out of Gogo's purse.

She'll never notice.

In all, we raised 223 bucks, which was enough to buy 11 milkshakes.

We headed to the Milkshake Bar and purchased the goods. On the walk home, we drank one milkshake each.

At my house we sat in the jacaranda tree and drank our second milkshakes. Our tummies were nice and bloated, which could only mean one thing:

A BURPING COMPETITION!

W A H O O !

I won the competition, as my burp lasted the longest.

Kurt thought he should have won because his burp was the stinkiest, but I reminded him that smell didn't count. Zen's burp was absolutely pathetic. Poor guy!

After the second shake and the burping competition, I started to feel a little queasy. But I was committed to the milkshake-drinking mission.

Kurt and Zen, the amateurs, were full after their two milkshakes and quit.

I, however, being a masterful PlayStation wizard and milkshake-burping champion, continued to drink.

After the third milkshake, my stomach started to churn and make some seriously dodgy sounds.

I knew the fourth shake was a very bad idea and I decided that I too would quit while I was ahead. I was also suffering from some serious brain freeze. Kurt and Zen dared me to keep drinking. So, not to look like a loser, I continued to slurp up the thick, brown liquid.

BIG MISTAKE!

Halfway through the fourth shake, I had a sneaking suspicion that I might vomit. I broke out into a hot sweat and ran for the bathroom.

UNFORTUNATELY, I didn't make it in time.

As I entered the lounge, I projectile vomited all over the place. Over the couch, table, carpet, picture frames, lamp, TV and Gogo's antique vase.

Kurt and Zen (being the good friends they are clearly NOT!) ran off home.

You'd think that my Mama would take pity on my little soul, but nooooo. She was absolutely furious.

"You're grounded!" she shrieked in a hysterical voice.

She also didn't seem to appreciate me asking if that meant I no longer had to move to Mars.

Plus, to make matters worse, Gogo DID notice the missing 100 bucks and I have to repay her by baking scones and reading to her tea club.

EISH!