WEDNESDAY

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Today BushyBeard gave me a tour of the space shuttle. The flight deck looked insane. I’ve never seen so many buttons in all my life.

Fortunately, Tata has flown to space six times. He delivers supplies to space stations. So knowing what all those buttons do is his problem, not mine.

The whole time I was on the tour, I kept looking for places to hide Kurt and Zen. The drawers were all full of stuff and there was no fridge, freezer or oven to stash them in.

I asked BushyBeard where we would be storing our food. Apparently, the only food we’re taking will be dried, or in a powder form.

YUCK!

I really hope there are some edible alien animals on Mars. I don't think I'm ready to become a full-on vegetarian, and I'm definitely not ready to give up our famous South African braais.

The best hiding spot I could think of for my two buddies was the tank beneath the portable toilet. Hardly perfect, I know.

When I got home that evening, I phoned Kurt and Zen and informed them of my clever plan. Even though the toilet tank would almost certainly be empty, my so-called friends point-blank refused to be stowed away in a toilet.

I couldn't believe it. I would so get into a toilet for them. Why couldn't they do it for me?