FRIDAY

→  2 DAYS left on Earth.

Mama and Tata said I could have a farewell party.

I wasn't too thrilled about this idea because there is always the chance that nobody will pitch, and I'm not up to that kind of stress.

But, I guess I have nothing to lose.

The worst-case scenario is that only Kurt and Zen pitch. The best-case scenario is that Mbali (my one and only) attends and I finally get my long-awaited kiss.

I was planning to be really picky about who I'd allow to attend my party. After all, I am a celebrity now and I've been kissed by just about every girl in the school. (Except, of course, by the one who really matters.)

But, Mama went ahead and invited the entire class via her WhatsApp group – including Loyiso The Jerk.

→ → →  Haibo!

And, she made the party a disco!

As if my life wasn't complicated enough, I had to go and work on some dance moves.

I YouTubed "cool dance moves for guys" on my phone and got to work.

First, I mastered the "Jack-in-the-box". That was pretty easy.

Next, I moved on to the "Reject Foot" dance move. I kept falling over when I did that hopping movement.

As I don't have any time to practise, I think it will be safer to not try to impress Mbali with that one.

I had a quick go at the floss, but I'll never be able to learn that in my lifetime (let alone in one day!).

After spending 30 minutes working on some new moves, I decided I should just pack it all in and stick to my two old, reliable actions: the robot and the arm wave.

Girls dig those moves. I think.

Everyone attended my party. What a miracle! I guess I really must be FAMOUS. Yay, me!

Zen played some cool beats from his docking station, and people started to party.

The party was going surprisingly well, and then it happened: load shedding! All the electricity in our entire neighbourhood was switched off due to the countrywide power shortage.

I couldn't believe it. My last party on Earth was going to be a complete failure.

I was just about to start panicking when, in the pitch darkness ...

you're never gonna believe this ... wait for it

... drum roll please ...

  Mbali kissed me!

Best day of my life! The girl of my dreams kissed me!

The load shedding turned out to be a false alarm and the electricity came surging back. Phew!

When the lights came back on, I was ready to declare my undying love for my special jewel, when I noticed she was standing next to Hairy Helen.

OH NO! There was a remote possibility that I wasn't kissed by Mbali, but rather by Hairy Helen. Kill me now!

There was absolutely no way I was gonna ask which girl kissed me. And, quite frankly, I really didn't want to know the answer.

In any case, I'm convinced it was Mbali. The kiss didn't feel hairy at all.

The party ended on two really high notes: first of all, Loyiso fell on his butt while trying to impress the crowd with his f1ossing. (I knew that dance move was way too tricky.) Everyone laughed their heads off.

 AWESOME! 

Secondly, my best buddies proposed a toast to me and everyone cheered.