SATURDAY

Best day of the week! This is the day for staying in my PJs and improving my PlayStation levels, which are two VERY IMPORTANT things!

Just as I was starting to enjoy a particularly good gaming session, my parents called me into the lounge for a "little chat".

OBVIOUSLY, I ignored them.

My on-screen character was flying around, observing the cool world I'd created. I really didn't need to be disturbed.

On the third call, when Mama raised her voice, I sighed, paused my game and headed for the lounge.

I knew that if I continued to ignore them, I'd probably end up DEAD MEAT!

My parents said they had "exciting news" for me.

Do they think I'm still five?

I knew EXACTLY what their version of "exciting news" meant.

Something SERIOUSLY SHADY was headed my way!

Last time they had "exciting news", it was to tell me I was old enough to start doing chores around the house.

→  Worst day of my life.

The time before that, they thought I was old enough to start waking myself up in the morning.

→→  Second worst day of my life.

The time before that, I was told that Gogo was moving in permanently.

→→→  Third worst day of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Gogo. But she insists on giving me sloppy kisses on the mouth – EVERY DAY.

It's quite disgusting.

Not to mention ... G R O S S !

But, today's news had to be the most HECTIC of all. Actually, I'm still in shock.

Today, my loving parents informed me that we're moving ...

to MARS!

You heard right. Not Johannesburg, England or Australia, but M A R S ! ! !

I can't possibly move to Mars.

Mrs SnoreMore (when she talks, we snore), has just seated me next to Mbali in maths class. I've been waiting my whole life for this.

Finally, Mbali (the girl of my dreams, with perfectly braided hair) might notice me.

And now I have to move to Mars!

My life is an EPIC failure!

I'm sure you have a load of questions by now, so I guess I'd better answer some of them.

>>  WHO AM I?

My name is Thabo, and I'm eleven. Eleven is such a non-age; no longer a child, but not yet a teenager. I guess that means I'm a "tween".

I really wish I could just get through this age, move on and become a teen – even though the thought of getting pimples completely FREAKS me out.

"Thabo" is also such a non-name. I tried getting my friends to call me Mr T, but that never happened.

When I say friends, I actually mean only two: Kurt and Zen.

Zen's name is short for Zenyongzhenghei, so I guess I shouldn't complain about my name too much. His is WAY dodgier.

>>  WHY MY FAMILY?

My Tata is an astronaut. (Cool, right?) And my Mama is a geologist. (Not as cool.) They both work for The Mars Embassy, which is based in our town, eMonti, South Africa.

The Mars Embassy has been working on a plan to establish life on Mars for many years.

Evidently, they've been sending robots up to the planet to 3D-print an entire settlement for us. Now, they're finally ready for the first launch.

UNBELIEVABLY, out of all the families in the whole entire world, my family has been selected to go on the first launch. I kid you not!

>>  WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GOING TO LIVE ON MARS?

My so-called smart parents are totally excited about this trip to Mars because they are convinced that Earth will one day be completely covered in water, thanks to global warming.

Apparently, it is essential that a new human settlement be established on a different planet if human life is to continue.

A settlement in a far-off galaxy always sounded like a really cool idea – until I found out the human settlement included me! Talk about seriously rotten luck.

>>   HOW WILL WE BE TRAVELLING?

We'll be travelling in a space shuttle! I have to admit, that kinda excites me. Apparently, it's going to take 260 days to travel the 401 million kilometres to Mars. According to my calculator, that's the same as travelling around the world 10 thousand times. Totally insane!

>>  WHEN ARE WE LEAVING?

We launch in one month!  Y I K E S !